Dinosaur Monty Magpie on Newcastle United
Toon- the biggest soccer team not to have won a trophy for half a century.
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Oct 6th: Man U...3 Toon...2
On the face of it, this looks like another tight game which, as usual, we lost. But when you learn that we were two up at half time (it ought to have been three), suddenly this looks depressing. Ash*** was treating the team to free pizzas this week (whatever next?), but it needs more than a few pizzas to turn around years of underinvestment

Sept 29th: Toon...0 Leicester...2
Really there was nothing positive to take from this. The only plus points are that Ash*** will have to reducing his asking price, and that a new buyer is (allegedly) in the offing. But that we've heard before! Someone with vision and of course cash please

Sept 22nd: Palace...0 Toon...0
The season was supposed to begin here! Well it hasn't really has it?

Sept 15th: Toon...1 Arsenal...2
My comments the same as for the last match, Clark getting our consolation goal. Never mind, our season will bloom in October when the ash will fade from our nightmares and SD will no more parade itself around SJP

Sept 1st: Man C...2 Toon...1
Utterly expected, but with such a scoreline it felt more like a victory- well, at least not a thumping. We even scored on a rare outing upfield from Yedlin via Rondon, but the truth is our fate will be determined by games other than this. Their squad value compared with ours is laughable, if it wasn't so sad

Aug 29th: Forest...3 Toon...1
An abysmally slack start as old Toon striker Murphy headed them into an easy lead after a minute. We did improve after that, we had to, with Wor Sterry and Wor Longstaff not utterly out of place, we even enjoyed more possession, but no shot on target in the 90 minutes. Our play was sometimes the familiar attack v defence, only this time it was us on the attack! If you could describe it thus for it wasn't until injury time that Rondon had a shot on target, and equalised. It was a fine shot from a tight angle and was the most promising moment of the dread night. The rest of injury time, pass a veil over it, with another poor refereeing decision. It says it all that our Championship opponents had spent more in the summer transfer market than us

Aug 26th: Toon...1 Chelsea...2
This ought to have been a 0-0 draw and all credit to Toon for defending so well. Instead, some refereeing decisions that in my view were poor, enriched the match with three questionable goals. The worst decision was the awarding of a penalty for the Blues, but maybe the ref evened it up when Yedlin, our best player today, clearly elbowed their defender before producing a brilliant cross for Jos' second goal of the season. Then a free kick, doubtful in my view, gave them the winner, an unfortunate deflection off Yedlin. Without two of our best players today, Shelvey and Lascelles, we fought hard, though Rondon's lone striker role offered little to encourage us supporters, and Murphy once again failed to impress. But the rest of the starting eleven were solid, hard working against flair players, and deserved a better referee than this one

Aug 18th: Cardiff...0 Toon...0
What began as a workmanlike performance, more aggression on offer, given the opposition, gradually petered out into a lacklustre effort. Perez had three good chances, one an excellent one, but muffed them. Hayden was brought on to counter the effective Murphy (not our Murphy, but his twin brother) and soon got a red. From then on it was backs to the etc, with our Murphy coming on but not proving as effective as his twin. We did perk up slightly near the end, Kenedy, having fluffed one free kick then botched a last minute surprise penalty that might have snatched us an undeserved three points

Aug 11th: Toon...1 Spurs...2
Opening day of the season, and the mild surprise that none of our new signings were starting was quelled by old hand Joselu who got our goal. Our two January loanees, now in the fold again, both impressed: Dubravka's save was world class, and Kenedy always looked likely to trouble Spurs. However after he missed a semi-sitter he did tail away. Diame hit the post and new number 9 Rondon had a shot deflected off the bar, but we couldn't quite clinch an equaliser. Our performance and application for the first three quarters was excellent, but the introduction of our two new bargain basement strikers hardly gave us the zest we badly needed, and, while there was much to encourage, luck was all on their side, with a first goal that barely looked over the line