Dinosaur Monty Magpie on Newcastle United

Toon- the biggest soccer team not to have won a trophy for half a century.... and not likely to for the foreseeable, sadly. No trophies at all for 50 years.
Here beginneth the 2021 season, with most Toon fans thoroughly fed up and thoroughly disillusioned. How could it be otherwise, when Ash*** is still, despite all the hopes this summer, still at the helm still? I write, 'at the helm,' but of course the problem is that he is steering us in only one direction: mediocrity. As long as we can survive in the big money of the Premier League, he is happy. He's the only one who is. Tantalisingly close to the big time with that infamous takeover that stalled mysteriously, we now have to settle down into the familiar depression of another season fighting to achieve 17th place.

Sept 27th: Spurs...1 Toon...1
According to the Special One, Our Bruce is "intelligent," but more appropriately, he is a lucky manager. We said it last season, and this match it was nothing short of a miracle to come away with a point. We were outplayed, as expected, we had no shots in 90 minutes on target to nobody's surprise, yet we won a disputed penalty. For me, it was a penalty according to the rules, though surely the rules need changing. But well played to Wilson who calmly slotted in our last gasp equaliser

Sept 23rd: Morecambe...0 Toon...7
The best line was that Joelinton is now a transfer target for Division 2 sides. But at least we showed ourselves superior to the lower division minions. Beware however, lest euphoria overtake us again: the next match away against Spurs will prove a tougher job.

Sept 20th: Home defeat against Brighton, no shots on target. The Seagulls finished below us last season, but on this showing, it's us who will be fighting relegation. The absurd euphoria after the win against West Ham was partly tempered by an appalling home display in midweek against Blackburn, anf for those with eyes to see, the writing was on the wall even then. Today Wor Andy was ineffective, and was rightly subbed. Things did improve in the second half but this was a performance to forget, worrying times ahead

Sept 12th: West Ham...0 Toon...2
An excellent start, though let's be frank, we beat a side that is going to be fighting against relegation, so this was not the toughest of tests! At least two new signings came up with the goods, ie goals, and Maximin was as usual Man of the Match, and Almiron deserved better than a ten minutes sub's slot as he provided the incisive pass for the second goal. Well done to Wor Andy also, who may not be a forward any more, but did sterling work with his headers
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