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For this summer, until the new season starts, here's how a romance unfolded, set in the dark days of 2009....

Dinosaur Monty and Ruby's Happy Day
Read part 1 first then part 2

Part 3

This Satday, 7th Feb, I hads this canny idea an' went to see Ruby whiles her pa was watching City beating the Boro' (don't cry!).
I spak to Ruby while her dad was watchin them on telly, and she said she'd cum oot with one. Wal, I said I would luv it, jes luv it, if we beat them, na, wat I means is, we've mak a date for nex Satday, as Toon an't playin then. Don't tells a soul will yer, and I'll tell yers all aboot it nex weeken.

February 14th and Toon had no match, so I has times to call an Ruby. Wal, I was gannin doon the road to Cullercoats to see the canny Ruby, a bunch of Valentine's Day daffs in me hand. Wan I knocks on her door, all smiling like, I had a nasty shock for it was her 9 fut dad wat opens the door, and he tells me I shud be prayin for Roy Kin*** to get well agen, not a-bangin on his door. He grabs me and shakes me. Than he made me wash out the SH** I'd painted an his wall. Than he kicks me doon the road sayin Don't Come Back, and I rubs me behind and jus spots Ruby at her bedroom winder wavin. I waves back an she smiles. Havin thought lang and hard, I realise someone mus have told him I was comin, so I won't tell a soul, not even yous, wan I'm gannin to see Ruby nex....

Feb 21st: I knoo Ruby's dad were away watching the City, and as Toon were not playin this Satday, I takes me chance an creeps doon to Ruby's an knocks on her door. "Are ye camin oot?" I smiles at her, and she smiles back, and says jus wait a minit while I tarts meself up. Wal, fifteen minits passed, an she appears, by she were a vision of booty, an off we walk doon to St Mary's Lighthoose I think it were. On the beach I taks her hand and she taks mine, an I plucks up me courage an says to her, I'll shows ye somethin shall I? Yas she replies, and I start a runnin, we ran so fast, we were at Monkseaton Station afore ye could say Wor Jackie. An off we goes, al the way to St James where I knows a quick way in, an showed her the paradise you can see in my pic. Her voice seemed quite lost on the way home, I wish I knew wat she were thinkin

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Part 2

January 24th- With the Toon busy fightin amongst themselves on training pitch, I was so deepressed I rans and rans, strat doon t'road to Wallsend, I were so fast I think I even overtak sum buses. Then I felt that exhausted I leapt on metro doon to Cullercoats agen, I jus had to cheer meself up by seein my canny Ruby.
I knocked an knocked an knocked at her door. There were this lang pause afore the sound of the winder a-creakin oopen. But noo words, so I plucked up me courage and I sang, ya knows like Romeo singin to Juliet, except this were Cullercoats on a frosty winter's morn. Wal, there was a lot of shoutin, afore she closed t'winder.
I just didn't know wat to do nex, but her 7 fut dad cam oot the front door, and he had a t-shirt on which said 'Owen for City,' an he laffed, jus laffed, so I have ter admit, I just ran awa. But I am goin to go back again, praps whan her dad is oot.

Feb 1st: - Affter the match, I joins all the black and white fans on the bus to Cullercoats, and verry quiet like, gets off just outside Ruby's house. Then, withoot a sound, I crept up to the wall, and gets out my tin o black paint and my brush and statted to paint. Maybes I shouldn't have done, but it made me so cross, seeing her dad wearin that strip from Man City, wot stole our Shay. So, not breathin owt, I painted on her dad's wall, nex to their bay winder, S H * *
Then I heared a noise of a door openin. Lucky for me it were only the canny Ruby, and whan she sees what I'd wrote she says to me I should ran quick like. I think I saw a smile an her face mind. By, it were good advice. For her 8 fut dad cam oot nex minute an he looks so fierce, yas couldna see me fer dust.

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January 14th- I were that fed up after the cup defeat against Hull, I takes the Metro, that's what I deed, to get sum fresh sea breezes and oot I got at Cullercoats, and doon to the cliffs. Should I jumps off? I were thinking of it, wan to me supreese, there fishin at dead o night, her line danging o'er the clifftop, I espied a bonny lass, al wrapped up to protect harself from cold. I decided not to jump. Mebbes thar's more to life than Toon.... . "What's thee name?" I asked the Cullercoats maiden. "Ruby," she replied, and thar could hear the suttle booty in her voice, it told of sufferin and pride that us Toon supporters know al aboot. "Ay," she added, "I were once at Eaton Square, home of Lord Bellamy, tha knows, he were on the tv yars back." And as I lissened to her charmin tones I felt a warm gloo all oover. I knoo she war the twin sister of the gal I had loved two years back, the one wot ran off with Big Sam.
"Are yer steppin oot?" I asked the Cullercoats Fish Girl in my kindest voice. But she were too shy to reply so I took bull by horns and said, "wal, if y're not steppin oot, then coom wi' me," and do ya knoos, she said Yas, next Wed'sday week.
Wal, I tell ya man, it were a bit difficult. Ya knoos what's on on the 28th? After a lang pause I begged her "Will ya step oot with me to see us beat Manchester City?" She took one look and started fishin agen.

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