Dinosaur Monty Magpie on Newcastle United

Toon- the biggest soccer team not to have won a trophy for half a century.... and not likely to for the foreseeable, sadly. No trophies at all for 50 years.

Oct 25th: Wolves...1 Toon...1
Maybe the best moment was the D***er Bruce pre-match interview, in which he was asked about team selection: "what was your thinking?" Now there's a novel concept! In fact the answer was that injuries meant the line up sort of chose itself. We certainly offered an attacking eleven. However, this 'plan' didn't come to any fruition because we were forced to play defensively, and Maxi was not having one of his better games. Thankfully the defence was solid, I pick out Lewis who had his best game for us, and we clung on well. A goalless draw looked inevitable, until Darlow failed to save a powerful shot. Luckily for us, their goalkeeper didn't line up his wall too well after Wilson won a very soft free kick. All credit to Murphy who neatly curled the ball into the bottom corner of the net

Our mauling on Oct 17rh against ManU was screened on Sky Box office. Tough on those Newcastle fans who forked out the exorbitant 14.95! The greed of the Premier League did not entice me, so I missed our capitulation, conceding three goals in the dying minutes. Bring back Rafa, bring back Wor Kev, bring back even Wor Bobbie!

Oct 3rd: Toon...3 Burnley...1
One name the non-existent crowd would have shouted: Maxi!! He weaved and bamboozled the oppo for a brilliant first goal. Then, even better, with the scores level and Burnley seemingly in the ascendancy, he produced a lightning run, a brilliant cross, and Wilson slotted in the winner. The match had been threatening to become one of two halves, with us, after an aggressive first half, apparently capitulating, until Maxi changed the game

Sept 30th: how we beat second div Newport in the League Cup is nothing short of miraculous luck! Our play was at their level (or worse), they got an early goal, and our response was lethargic. I doubt if Wor Andy could have scored even from the spot. Murphy was the only one who showed much energy, but his finishing was woeful. An injection of something, or possibly they were tiring, yes that's it, and we finished the stronger, thankfully a Shelvey special got us an equaliser. We were down again in the penalty shoot-out, with our 40 million man missing. How on earth did we scrape home?

Sept 27th: Spurs...1 Toon...1
According to the Special One, Our Bruce is "intelligent," but more appropriately, he is a lucky manager. We said it last season, and this match it was nothing short of a miracle to come away with a point. We were outplayed, as expected, we had no shots in 90 minutes on target to nobody's surprise, yet we won a disputed penalty. For me, it was a penalty according to the rules, though surely the rules need changing. But well played to Wilson who calmly slotted in our last gasp equaliser

Sept 23rd: Morecambe...0 Toon...7
The best line was that Joelinton is now a transfer target for Division 2 sides. But at least we showed ourselves superior to the lower division minions. Beware however, lest euphoria overtake us again: the next match away against Spurs will prove a tougher job.

Sept 20th: Home defeat against Brighton, no shots on target. The Seagulls finished below us last season, but on this showing, it's us who will be fighting relegation. The absurd euphoria after the win against West Ham was partly tempered by an appalling home display in midweek against Blackburn, anf for those with eyes to see, the writing was on the wall even then. Today Wor Andy was ineffective, and was rightly subbed. Things did improve in the second half but this was a performance to forget, worrying times ahead

Sept 12th: West Ham...0 Toon...2
An excellent start, though let's be frank, we beat a side that is going to be fighting against relegation, so this was not the toughest of tests! At least two new signings came up with the goods, ie goals, and Maximin was as usual Man of the Match, and Almiron deserved better than a ten minutes sub's slot as he provided the incisive pass for the second goal. Well done to Wor Andy also, who may not be a forward any more, but did sterling work with his headers
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