Television Programmes from the Late 1960s onwards

DRAMA
ABC: Public Eye
ATV: Father Brown
The Adventurer
Spyder's Web
THAMES: Dracula
Ace of Wands
YTV: Mr Axelrod's Angel (play with Julia Foster)
SOUTHERN: Dick Barton
Armchair Thriller
ANGLIA: Tales of the Unexpected
BBC: Take Three Girls 		COMEDY
BBC
Bachelor Father
Lord Peter Wimsey
Wodehouse Playhouse
Hi-de-Hi
The Peter Principle
LWT
The Doctor Saga
Jeeves and Wooster 		ATV - The Squirrels
THAMES
Father Dear Father
David Nixon Show
Harry Worth
GRANADA
Nearest and Dearest
SOUTHERN
Flockton Flyer - series 2 review
YTV - Fiddlers Three 		DOCUMENTARY
English Towns
About Britain - coastline tour
Motor SPORT
Formula One -1986 to 2005
Moto GP - 1992 to 2005
Superbikes - Carl Fogarty era
MISCELLANEOUS
Treasure Hunt - Anneke Rice
Interceptor - Sean Kane
It's a Knockout (S4C)
Sale of the Century
HTV Wales Schedule - for Tuesday April 8th 1980
9.30am Beachcombers
9.55 Survival
10.20 The Mad Dog
10.40 You Can make It - William Rushton
11.05 Country Comes West - Graham Miller, guest Vernon Oxford
11.30 Frontiers of Discovery
12.00 Ffalabalam
12.10pm Pipkins - Topov the Lookout
12.30 The Sullivans
1.00 News at One; Local News
1.30 Take the High Road - thefts at a sawmill
2.00 Afternoon Plus - Mary Parkinson
2.45 Scorpion Tales - The Ghost in the Pale Blue Dress
3.45 Look Who's Talking - Derek Batey, Roy Hudd 		4.15 Shardun - Gwyn Parry
4.45 Magpie; 5.15 Magilla Gorilla
5.20 Crossroads - Adam braces himself
5.45 News at 5.45
6.00 Y Dydd
6.30 Worzel Gummidge - Fire Drill
7.00 Charlie's Angels
8.00 Armchair Thriller - The Circe Complex ep 5
8.30 George and Mildred - The Four Letter Word
9.00 Playhouse - The Gate of Eden
10.00 News at Ten
10.30 Bywyd
11.15 Fireside Theatre
12.10 Weather and Close
. . . . . . . . . . . . . Main Dinosaur tv menu

.

.

.

.

Hi de Hi
Simply the best comedy series ever!
Simon Cadell as Geoffrey Fairbrother a university professor in charge of a holiday camp. A wonderful anachronism! Some outstanding support from old timers. All the cast are excellent, but we specially love Leslie Dwyer as the Punch and Judy Man who hates kids, and Barry Howard as the whingeing ballroom champion. When Simon Cadell left, David Griffin made a brave effort in the antithesis of the professor role, but the loss of Dwyer and Howard deprived the still superb series of that extra special magic.

Pilot (Jan 1st 1980)- A beautifully executed portrait of Cambridge professor Geoffrey Fairbrother, "in a rut," but seeking a new life as Entertainments Manager at Maplin's Holiday Camp. "A fish out of water," he does at least try and join in the fun ("pies, pies, who wants a custard pie"), a stark contrast to the ebullient camp comic Ted Bovis. Briefly introduced are the host of characters that are to make up this sparkling cast, only rock star Gary Storm being inexplicably axed. Surprising, as his evocative guitar provides background to a lovely montage of the week's fun, before Geoffrey decides to pack it all in. A grateful camper changes his mind, and the series is born....
1.1 Desire in the Mickey Mouse Grotto (Feb 26th 1981)- Geoffrey outlines to staff his plans for "broadening the camper's horizons." Blank faces. However his limitations in the nostalgic ballroom, as he tries to mix with campers are obvious, even more so when Ted fixes for him to be "respectable" escort to flirty Rose (Gillian Taylforth): "what lovely smooth hands you've got!"
1.2 The Beauty Queen Affair - "There are no limits to the spiritual heights...." claims Geoffrey, though perhaps his stumbling introduction to the holiday princess competition doesn't quite reach them. Indeed he's unfairly dragged down when he's given a large bottle of champagne for "fixing" the winner, which gets Ted off the hook for his birthday present fiddle
1.3 The Partridge Season - What a "berk" Mr Fairbrother is! Kindly, he has rescinded Mr Partridge's sacking, but he then hands the drunkard £10, enabling him to go on a "bender" singing Jerusalem, not the clean version either, whilst locked inside his chalet. Thus Geoffrey is obliged to perform Partridge's Punch and Judy Show, with willing assistant Sylvia cuddled up to him inside the booth- "give me a kiss Mr Punch;" it's a classic scene
1.4 The Day of Reckoning - It's 6am on a deserted promenade, as Geoff sends Spike on the long walk to Big Mac with a £200 pay-off. As Geoff's negotiating skills with the underworld are more than a little suspect, Big Mac is coming to Spike with £200 of hush money
1.5 Charity Begins At Home - The Campers' Amenity Fund it's called, another Ted Bovis fiddle. But when Geoff finds out Ted has used the proceeds in gambling, Ted is manouevred into donating the £400 winnings to an old couple who have been robbed
1.6 No Dogs Allowed - Bubbles is Geoffrey's dog, he has to hide in his chalet, against all regulations. The noises from within cause staff to think he is secretly keeping a woman...
2.1 If Wet, In the Ballroom - a "little perisher" spoils Whimsical Willie's magic show and receives his just desserts when Mr Partridge ties him up on stage. Geoffrey tries to placate the "nauseous" kid, unsuccessfully of course, as he persuades honest Spike to rig the dodgy clapometer in the talent contest to make the child win. But Ted's already rigged it and there's an unseemly brawl behind the clapometer to thwart Geoffrey's scheme. So it's left to Ted to properly fix the kid with a reward he can really appreciate
2.2 Peggy's Big Chance- a pool wheeze sees Peggy as a shark attacking a blonde bombshell, Spike actually. Sharkfighters dive in to rescue the blonde, but soon it's Peggy the shark who needs saving
2.3 Lift Up Your Minds - Perhaps the pick of the lot! Starting at breakfast, Ted loafing in bed, Barry preparing a bite for Yvonne: "we all eat a peck of dirt before we die." But Geoffrey wants the day to begin in a less "sepulchral" atmosphere and insists everyone attends the "frolics and games" in the breakfast hall. But with 80 extra meals a day, is Joe Maplin pleased? Encouraged however, Geoff decides to widen the campers' horizons and in imitation of his university days plans a musical recital, Discovering Shostakovich. Yvonne is pleased for this "ray of culture in this moronic wilderness." Ted however knows "it's bound to end in disaster." And he's right, there's a low turn out anyway, and we are given some lovely shots of mystified listeners. Geoff has to eat humble pie but Ted persuades him to run a second concert "with a bit of tune in it." Success!- which pleases Geoff, "a vulture for culture," though naturally it's all part of yet another Ted Bovis fiddle
2.4 On with the Motley - "low comedian" Ted Bovis is booked for the "toffee-nosed" Clacton Golf Club do in this bitter-sweet study of dashed aspirations: "it's all so glamorous," declares Peggy. The act is not a success: "hit 'em with a big un, Ted, so I did the one about the tarts and the sailor." Thus Ted ends up "back among the dead beats and has beens"
3.1 Nice People with Nice Manners - Formal invitations to Barry and Yvonne's for a midnight party in their "crummy" chalet. 'Tis to be "a little statement of gracious living." All ruined when Ted & Co gatecrash, and that's after the depths have already been plumbed with the That's Your Bum competition
3.2 Carnival Time - John le Mesurier was an inspired choice to play the Cambridge Dean who travels down to Maplin's looking completely at sea, in his best style, as Peggy greets him with a torrent of words. His bemused look continues throughout, as he stares on, watching Geoffrey, late of Cambridge University, organising the chaos surrounding a carnival float of the Wild West. Dressed in his dude's outfit he finally has to rescue Gladys from a real fire on the float. It's a brilliant muddle of an extravaganza
3.11 Sing You Sinners - A serious note as the chaplin to Maplins has to stop doing the Sunday Half Hour so Geoffrey takes on the task in his usual sombre style. Naturally Ted's effort the following week is rather more lively, the highlight perhaps being Barry and Yvonne's dance as Samson and Delilah, before the collection is taken, money to you-know-who. That's right, the vicar, who returns to take the money right out of Ted's clutches
To Menu

.

.

.

.

.

Harry Worth
Harry revived his career on ITV in the 1970's, first with Thames and later with a less successful YTV series.
"Having a conversation with that fellow is like trying to knit fog!"
My name is Harry Worth (Thames, 1974)
1 There's No Place Like It - "I'm sorry you're getting a little confused," Harry tells Mrs Maybury at their first meeting. He tries to rescue her cat from the roof, and ends up at the police station in drag
2 The Referee - George (Reginald Marsh) is Mrs Maybury's brother, a policeman too. He insists Harry provide some sort of reference, so Harry gets one from his doctor, though it's "quite a surprise" as it's not actually his own reference
3 The Go Between - Almost touching, as Harry asks Mr Bunting (Peter Jones) at the Marriage Bureau for a partner: "you want to marry a man?" But it's for Mrs Maybury to whom, confusion over, Harry introduces Arnold (Derek Francis)
4 Don't Bank On It - A classic as Harry attempts to open a bank account "with everything I have........ 85p." Two dumb bankrobbers kidnap Harry thinking he's the manager. They soon realise they've taken on far more than they can cope with. A ransom of £20,000 for the supposed manager dwindles each succeeding hour, whilst Harry develops a nice rapport with the hapless Arthur and Mick. Finally the sad "nutcase" Harry realises noone is prepared to pay for his release. He decides to stay with the crooks! "Don't you want to go then?" they ask him pathetically. Finally Harry returns home, with a nice punchline
5 Normal Service Will be Resumed - Worst of the series. Mr Jones from Coopers Television Service takes away Mrs Maybury's perfectly good tv, and Harry tries to recover it
6 Just a Roll of Lino Please - Tim Barrett is the unlucky carpet salesman who has to deal with Harry- several times he licks his lips in frustration. More firm is Glyn Houston, the constable who patiently has to deal with Harry's problem over a stolen car. He shows all the skill of an old hand in dealing with this sort of confusion
7 The Family Reunion - "He doesn't talk sense," complains George (see story 2), about Harry of course. He soon proves this for himself. For Harry has been asked to look after George's daughter Sandra for the afternoon, so he buys the seven year old a teddy, amid much confusion by the shop assistant (John Clegg). But Sandra (Sally Geeson) is actually seventeen, so they go to the Freak Out Disco, where Harry gets into a bit of a fracas and ends up at the police station, and interrogation by George. Harry winds up in court, defending himself in a long scene that fails to ever get going
8 High Pitched Buzzing - A baffled Mr Veryl (Tony Melody) tries to deal with Harry's request for a telephone in his bedroom, but as he mistakes him for another customer, he nearly ends up demented, thinking Harry is the mad one. When the phone is ready to be installed, Mrs Maybury's new washing machine happens to be delivered, and the installers are puzzled by Harry's requirement "I want it right beside the bed." A phone call to Veryl to sort it out ends with him a broken man
To Menu of 1970's-1990's programmes . . . To Harry's BBC series

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

How's Your Father (YTV)
1.1 The Older Woman (1979) - "Is it Audrey he's with?" Young Martin is "sussing the field," with a woman (Lynda Baron) who Harry soon sees is "old enough to be his mother." So Harry has "to sort her out" in a meandering story with just glimpses of Harry's old genius
1.2 Trouble With Shirley - With Shirley staying at her godmother's, Harry, in the best scene with Judy Buxton, attempts to purchase some wallpaper to redecorate Shirley's room
1.3 The Dress - Harry enters a boutique in an attempt to buy a dress for Shirley
1.4 Harry Gets Out More - Harry attends evening classes where he has an all too brief skirmish with the art master (a bearded Robert Gillespie)
1.5 Who Wants To Move? - Tim Barrett is wasted as an estate agent when Harry thinks he wants to move. 'Wasted' also describes this script
2.1 The Disco - Harry is volunteered as a bouncer at the PTA disco but Martin soon proves Harry's not quite up for it. But "fuddy duddy" Harry enjoys some jiving at the disco before it's he who is bounced out, the fate that ought to have befallen this script
2.2 Help - Harry's been advertising for a cleaning lady for three weeks, and at last there's an applicant: "whatever she's like, she'll be better than nothing." That prophecy nearly proves fatal when Gretchen Franklin, who lives the part, steps in. There's also a nice mime sequence with Harry communicating with a newsagent through his shop window
2.4 Rag Week - Reporting to the police a planned student kidnapping of the mayor, Harry enjoys sparring with that fine pro Glynn Edwards. Of course, Harry is kidnapped by mistake
2.5 Fantasy Time - Harry's helping out in the hospital canteen when he somehow is mistaken for a patient (Sam Kydd) and is seen by a mystified doctor. Good in parts, the theme is not, sadly, properly followed through
2.6 The Promotion - Mr Withers has already considered four "broken men" for possible promotion and Harry might be the fifth! Withers and his wife are coming to supper! Joan Sanderson adds some fun to the meal
2.7 Every Picture Tells A Story - this final story has Harry, appropriately perhaps, rummaging through his attic where he finds- can it be?- a genuine Joshua Reynolds. He consults his solicitor (Arthur Hewlett) and the family plan a spending spree

To Harry's BBC series
To Menu

.

.

.

Fiddlers 3
An underrated series by Eric Chappell starring Peter Davison as Ralph West. Paula Wilcox plays his adoring wife,Ros, whilst Charles Kay has the best part as "JJ" the boss. Although some stories were weak, once the series got going it provided some of the best laughs anywhere! (It's a reworking of The Squirrels)

2 NORMA DOVE - Since new secretary Norma arrived there's been nothing but chaos. But Ralph doesn't behave like the other "schoolboys". To Norma, he seems like a friendly dolphin in shark infested waters. But who's keeping HIM at bay?
3 THE DARK HORSE - The Office Conference Weekend in the Executive Suite. A party in Ralph's room sees the new boss (Tom Adams) bring Norma whilst unknowingly JJ brings the boss's wife (Sarah Badel).
4 The WHIZ KID - Fed up with only having a temporary promotion, ageing-failure Ralph applies secretly for another job. Interviewed, he describes his boss as a "meddling unstable geriatric", so JJ isn't likely to be pleased when it transpires Ralph's been up for his own job
5 The VELVET GLOVE - Alec Prescott (Paul Chapman) is from Head Office, the "iron hand capable of squeezing the juice out of a man, and the pips as well." He takes Ralph out to the Moulin Rouge, and Ralph's a snitch when he's had a few
6 DETECTIVE STORY - A groper is in the staff car park. At an identification parade, Ralph is picked out as the villain, and has to fabricate an alibi
7 TIME OUT - A new directive on staff promptness has to be enforced by Ralph, which is slightly difficult when he's expected to slope off to help choose a new bed
8 THE SECRET FILE - If Ralph's a success, why's he wearing his grandfather's suit? As it is, he can't even buy his kids a pile of sand. The panic is because it's the Staff Annual Review, and Ralph wants to know what's in his secret dossier. Finding it, he resolves to be a new tougher man.
9 THE MAN MOST LIKELY - great story with Paul Darrow as Reggie,an old schoolfriend who dated Ros and bullied Ralph. Now he has a top executive job, so Ralph started boasting about his achievements. Fortunately JJ is called away so Ralph really can put on some swank ("Paris calling you, R.W.") - till, unfortunately, JJ unexpectedly returns. This has all the best elements of farce, the cast showing perfect timing
10/11 WE DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU (in two parts).- "That could be Bob Crachit there"; actually it's office junior Osborne, whose name 'll be written on JJ's grave. Ralph's got to tell him he's sacked, but in an overlong story it's Ralph who gets the boot
12 THE FIDDLE - the funniest story with Ralph unwisely purchasing 112 bags of crisps from Harvey. Keep them hidden, he's told- good advice as there's been a lot of "petty pilfering." The arrival of Hawke (Philip Stone), the auditor has a further deteriorating effect on poor Ralph, who's unable to find the key to the petty cash. Everyone, it turns out, has been borrowing from company funds....
13 UNDUE INFLUENCE - Crawling's the order of the day, with promotion on the cards for somebody. Ralph throws a party but finally proves his integrity.
To Menu

.

.

.

.

.

The Peter Principle (1997) with Jim Broadbent as Peter Duffley, dinosaur bank manager. Father Ted aside, we rate this as the best comedy of the 1990's.
Very odd how it fell out of favour, the final programmes being screened on BBC1 after 10.30pm.
1.1 - On Valentine's Day the bank is "out of money" according to Peter Duffley, at least as far as a gay couple are concerned. Peter receives a card from "your special love" which he takes to be Susan. "This woman's been chasing me all round the bank," he complains. His approaches are misdirected to the gay and he tries to cover his tracks by getting Bradley to recreate the video evidence. Yes, "Peter can be a bit eccentric"
1.2 - Cleaner Mrs Moss' £60 cash for her leaving present is blown by Peter on a business lunch, so her hastily concocted gift is one dead plant, plus, unfortunately, "a bag of vomit." Now Peter's health is in doubt during Banking for Fitness Week, but when the nurse finally comes for his medical, it's actually the new cleaner, who expresses mild surprise when he strips off
1.3 - Peter must win some new accounts, so he rashly promises to take on a new business which is handling £100,000 cash a day, and requires a 24-hour banking hotline. Counting the cash is soon stretching the staff, and phone calls at dead of night are wearing Duffley down. He's so exhausted at Lady Howard's piano recital, where he nicely falls asleep and is awoken by his mobile, that he sees he's "made a terrible mistake"
1.4 - Iris has won £250 on the lottery, but Peter forgets to buy her ticket. He persuades her to spend her non-existent winnings on shares which double in value! A gamble on a horse means she now has £10,000, or thinks she has. So Peter dabbles in insider dealing, and gets "tied up" with Susan and the case with all Iris' money in (nothing that is) in a great scene in a restaurant
1.5 - "Imbecilic" Peter has to pay £300 compensation which he borrows from petty cash. To cover his tracks, he has to shred the notes! In a fun complex storyline, he ends up with a pile of kid's furniture at the bank, and the bank's furniture in his home
1.6 - Peter is locked in the bank entrance foyer over the holiday. How will he survive? Something of a horror masterpiece. Prior to this Duffley declares he's "a very serious candidate" for the top Reading managership, after Susan's invited to apply. Lovely study as he tries to fill out his Proposal. The only way he can come up with anything, is to filch Susan's copy. Result - the interview, immediately after his "lock-in," finds him unshaven, starving, smelly! The only authoritative answer he can give is always from Page Seven, as this was the only sheet he'd had to read in his incarceration. "I've got to get that Reading job, I'm ideal for it."
2.1 - Peter's emasculated by Susan's promotion: just like a customer Peter assumes has had a sex change operation, leading to a ghastly error...
2.3 - Peter's lost a will but discovers he's in charge of a champion greyhound until the will is proved.
2.4 - Geoffrey is retiring, so it's open house with Peter. Interviews for his replacement are cancelled when Peter finds "the breast candidate." A royal visit means "smarten the place up a bit" which results in Peter getting glued to the spot and having to lean at 45 degrees to greet his royal visitor
2.5 - After the Christmas festivities, Peter has to make a cut in staff. Bradley's the obvious choice but he becomes convinced Bradley is his son - crazy scenes as he reminisces on his lost childhood, bouncing Bradley on his knee.
2.6 - Peter has trouble with the alarm system and police, Rita Davies having a lovely cameo as a customer who is set alight and then has to endure, stonefaced, Susan's slanging match with lover David. Susan decides to emigrate but Bradley finds out his dream girl is being diddled by Peter and has to be locked in the vaults to prevent him from snitching. Poor Evelyn ends up claustrophobically with him. At the eleventh hour, Peter repents and fetches Susan back Casablanca-style from the airport.
To Menu

.

.

.

.

.

Bachelor Father (1970/1)

Ian Carmichael starred. Also appearing in series 1 were Gerald Flood as Harry, Rona Anderson, and (after the first story) Joan Hickson as the housekeeper Mrs Pugsley.

1.1 Family Feelings - In which Peter's latest girlfriend Margaret leaves him, so it's "back to the monastery." Neighbour Harry sympathises, until Peter resolves to start a family, a foster family. The best scene is his interview with the children's officer (Colin Gordon), as two fine actors go through "the nice red tape." Peter interviews helpers, buys a new home and is introduced to his first child, Johnny. Not hilarious, but in the hands of seasoned pros, it's pleasantly watchable.
1.5 Birthday Boys - the undoing of most comedies with children is the difficulty of finding good young actors. Ian Carmichael tries to carry them through, but maybe the script too was lacking a buzz. It's Uncle Peter's birthday, though he doesn't realise it is also young Donald's. All hands to the pump, even baking the cake when Mrs P is called away. The party with a bevy of Donald's girl friends is ruined by the dialogue and acting, but neither does the script exploit several potentially amusing situations
2.2 House Guest- A study in snobbery, for Ronnie's dad is a famous cricketer, and his pending visit draws out all Uncle Peter's sporting memorabilia. Unfortunately Ronnie is Ben's friend, but now they have fallen out, so Uncle Peter is introduced to 'Ronnie' who is really swot Simon. Such young actors attempting farce fall flat, but things pick up with the arrival of Donald Hewlett as Simon's dad, who's an MP, cue Uncle Peter's library of political biographies. And Simon's mum (Barbara Shelley) is a famous film star, time to get out more memorabilia
2.3 Partners in Crime - New lad Christopher is known to "appropriate" things. The jokes are too obvious as he eyes Uncle Peter's goods, then even more trite when his dad emerges, fresh from prison. Peter warns his charges to be law abiding, but a visit to Peter's sister Nora (Diana King) sees Peter red-faced, the wrong side of the law, and it's worse for him when Nora tells the kids a few tales of Peter's naughty childhood. Back home, they are locked out, and Peter has to climb through a window, inevitably spotted by eagle-eyed police

Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ace of Wands

Peacock Pie
3.8 Part 1 (September 6th 1972)- An "ordinary" man (Brian Wilde) named Peacock somehow persuades Mikki to want to go on holiday, she gets this picture in her mind of a beach. But it's his holiday she is actually dreaming of- his powers over the mind must be extraordinary. Incredible even, for he has persuaded security men to deposit cash for a bank at a derelict house! "Are you a magician Mr Peacock?!" Tarot and Chas discover this house, but naturally Peacock can sense that they are there, and he ties them up in all sorts of (imaginary) knots.
3.9 Part 2- Tarot realises it's all in their imagination that Peacock has planted inside them. By the time he realises that, Henry Peacock has got to Mikki and confessed he only did the robbery for a challenge. After paying his landlady's rent, he had thrown away the rest of the loot. His is a useful gift. A traffic warden about to write a ticket for his car, decides against it! "He could drive someone insane," is a more sobering thought. That might be Chas who goes alone to Peacock's house in Penge: "are you having me on?" Peacock has shown Chas a dazzlingly wealthy abode. But Chas has not psychic gifts, and Peacock tires of him. He takes it as a slight and locks Chas in a specially prepared room, where his mind starts to play weird tricks.
3.10 Part 3 - Chas: "it isn't real!" But where he is shut in seems real enough. For Peacock is playing tricks on his mind, those staring eyes pierce him, making him reveal where Tarot and Mikki are. Not that it is any secret, for they are performing their act in one of the most expensive restaurants in London. Peacock is a surprise guest there, for a battle of wills. The grinning, confident Peacock frightens the manageress, and takes away all the goods Tarot has collected up for Mikki's mind reading. But Chas has worked out how to escape, and goes to tell Tarot. The trio call on Peacock at his home in Penge. "Surprise us," challenges Tarot. Peacock's trick is to make them 'see' the luxury mansion that Chas had already seen, but they denigrate his powers now: "we can't match you in tricks, but we can match you in perception." Thus poor Peacock is a beaten man, his powers over the mind broken, you feel almost sorry for him.

This was a choice role for Brian Wilde, though the story loses some of its magic in this final episode, partly because one of its lead characters is not the greatest of actors.

To Menu

.

.

.

.

.

Father Dear Father
starring Patrick Cargill.
He was a master of farce with impeccable timing and facial expressions to match the absurd dilemmas he faced. Sometimes the scripts strain his efforts to breaking point, but generally he wrings every ounce of fun out of each absurd situation. Noel Dyson as the ever patient Nanny enjoys perhaps her best role, and Patrick's daughters, though no great actresses, keep things nice and jolly.

1.1 The Proposal (1968) -Opens with Pat fetching in the morning milk as the girls return from a party. Deciding the girls need taking in hand, Patrick proposes to agent Georgie, only to get cold feet at the wedding
1.2 Pussies Galore - Whilst the girls are gardening, a carelessly placed rake gives Patrick's Rolls a puncture. After this opening, there's a slow start before it's revealed Pat's allergic to cats. The girls have been asked to take care of one, and she's expecting any moment! Pat somehow gets hold of the wrong end of the stick and thinks one of his daughters is pregnant. Some entertaining situations ensue!
1.3 The Return Of The Mummy - Opening scene: Patrick is relaxing in the garden hammock when a shuttlecock lands in his drink. His ex-wife moves back in, with inevitable complications, not least in the form of Bill, her new husband
1.4 Publish And Be Damned - Opens with Patrick throwing his umbrella into a pond, accidentally. Karen has written Two Birds in the Bush, a true life story, with maybe some added "colour." Patrick finds everyone staring at him as a "hell raising womaniser."
1.5 It Won't Be a Stylish Marriage - Patrick rides a scooter. Surely young Cyril (Rodney Bewes) can't want to marry ageing Nanny? In a typical mix-up Patrick believes he really does!
1.6 I Should Have Danced All Night - Opens with Pat having his photo taken. Is he the Hampstead Heath Romeo? Boyfriend Steven (Richard O'Sullivan) psychoanalyses Pat to find out- "did you wet the bed when you were a child?" In fact, he's only been out learning how to ballroom dance with Mrs Parsons (June Whitfield)
1.7 Lost Weekend- Starts with Pat putting golf balls. A weekend in Brighton with his lovely agent is too good to miss, only why does she later claim it will be seen by the nation on TV??
2.1 Unhappy Birthday (1969)- Opens with Pat sunbathing and getting a soaking. He believes he's reached his last hours on earth, when a surprise party is kept hidden from him
2.2 We Can't Afford a Carriage - Opens with Pat playing cricket. Bill Fraser plays Pat's old army friend who finds Karen advertising her "modelling" in the newsagents and Anna working as a Bunny Girl. Unfortunately the script, after some funny moments, can't deliver a good punchline
2.3 Show me the Way to go Home - Opens with Pat rescuing a cat up a tree. Perhaps the weakest story, about Anna leaving home. So the obvious candidate for turning into a film then!
2.4 Thinner than Water - Opens with Pat playing tennis and trying to leap triumphantly o'er the net. Patrick: "I've just become a father again, thanks to nanny!" Worried whether he's really the girls' dad, Patrick calls together their possible fathers for a confrontation
2.5 Baby won't go Please Come Home - Opens with Pat the archer. One of the girls' arrows accidentally lands on a policeman. Uncle Philip (Donald Sinden) brings chaos, in the shape of a baby
2.6 Divorce English Style - Opens with the Rolls being cleaned, a simple process, but fraught with hazards! So he get get a divorce, Pat looks for someone with whom he can play Snakes and Ladders
3.1 This is your Wife (1970)- Opens with Patrick fishing. To impress an old fashioned film producer, Patrick has to introduce him to his wife. His ex refuses, so does nanny, so he prevails on his agent's friend (Jan Holden). It becomes a farce when his ex relents and turns up, making it 2 wives, whilst nanny finally makes it 3!
3.2 One Dog and his Man - opens with Pat accidentally in a motor cycle sidecar. When dog HG chews up Mr Patrick's latest manuscript it's time for him to go. But he's soon missed!
3.3 It's never too Late - opens with Pat shooting at a fairground gallery. Confusion by the vicar (Richard Wattis) leads to Patrick attending a wedding where's he's to be married to his ex-wife. In fact it's supposed to be daughter Karen's belated christening
3.4 Nobody's Indispensable - guest Dandy Nichols. Opens with Pat stuck in the stocks. Patrick thinks Nanny wants to get married, so he takes on all her duties - washing, ironing, cooking, which nearly finishes him off!
3.5 The Suitable Suitor - Opens with Patrick cementing the drive. Beryl Reid is on top form as a bookseller who thinks Patrick has his eye on her. Of course he hasn't but does she believe that?
3.6 A Man about the House - Opens with Pat on horseback, riding backwards. When daddy goes skiing in Switzerland, the girls invite Lesley (Doug Fisher) to stay. When Patrick returns unexpectedly, he allows the girls share the same bed with Lesley, not realising who Lesley is. Plenty of scope for farce here!
4.1 Last of the Red Hot Mammas (1971) - Opening: Patrick's golf shot hits a policeman. Very "vague" mother in Herne Bay comes to stay with Patrick in Hampstead. Now it's 2am and she arrives home with a Major Protheroe, "a catering corps Casanova." So Patrick offers to take her on the town himself, but he finds he just hasn't got her stamina
4.2 An Affair to Forget - Opening sequence: changing a flat tyre. Patrick's accountant (Ian Carmichael) has covered up his indiscretion by saying a postcard to "Dimples" is really Patrick's
4.3 Housey-Housey - Opening: Patrick on a Spanish beach. A flyover past Patrick's bedroom window? Not if he can help it, though a misunderstanding leads to the Dep Sec of the Council (Beryl Reid) believing he's actually for it. In an example of farce at its best, she visits his home, he thinking she's from the Council for Unmarried Mothers
4.4 The Reluctant Runaway - Introduction: Pat falls into HG's bathtub. Karen runs away after Pat "wags a finger," but soon realises her error and sneaks back home. But by now Pat has called the police, though in fact it's only a taxi firm, which summons all their fleet of 15 cars to his door
4.5 Come Back Little Sheba - Opening: In the garden, a lawn mower runs over Patrick. Me against the weed, as Pat gives up smoking. He loses a pet hamster, cue for more obvious jokes, but redeemed by Peter Jones as twins, one a rodent operative, the other a pet shop owner selling Pat another hamster
4.6 A Domestic Comedy - Opening scene: Pat with a picture. Guest star Joan Sims plays a client from a marriage bureau, who thinks Patrick is looking for a new wife. Super scene when she's interviewed by Mr Patrick who's really looking for a temporary replacement for Nanny
4.7 The Naked Truth- Opening: Pat, tennis umpire, is knocked off his high chair. Tickets are sold out for Romeo and Juliet starring Anna, in the nude. The girls hide dad's trousers so he can't take his front row seat
5.1 Proposed and Seconded (1971)- Opening: Patrick on the river- naturally he falls in. After a wild party, Pat thinks he has proposed to his agent Georgie. Cargill gives a masterclass in his role as the reluctant fiance, even getting as far as consulting vicar, the Steptoe of St Stephens (Cyril Fletcher)
5.2 The Life of the Party - Opening: Patrick after horseriding steps down into a bucket of water. Crossed wires get Pat thinking his ex-wife is going kinky, plastic macs in the bath and the like. His idea of his daughters' party is Pin the Tail on the Donkey
5.3 Nothing But the Tooth - Opening: Pat is painting, the tin is knocked on his head. With toothache, Pat consults a young dentist (Richard O'Sullivan) who is awfully accident prone. Pat departs the surgery "in an orderly dignified panic." Accused of cowardice, he has to return and we get all the usual dental jokes, but so well acted. Cargill's facial distortions are a reminder of his brilliance, while Richard O' Sullivan shows how he would get the reputation as Thames' number one comedy talent
5.4 An Explosive Situation - Opening: Pat constructs a shed, "all my own work." With his younger brother (Donald Sinden), he attends an auction and in error buys some army surplus, that includes one live grenade. All rather too corny
5.5 A Book for the Bishop - Opening: Pat has a picnic... in a launderette! Brian Oulton plays an anti-pornography bishop and Pat, writer of "innocent rubbish" joins his fold. But a copy of his latest book sent to the bishop is actually Anna's erotic book...
5.6 A Case For Inspector Glover - Opening: Bullfighter Pat is scared of... a cow. Patrick receives threatening letters and investigates the case himself. His sleuthing reveals it's ... nanny! He waits for the killer to strike, but the police in the shape of Sergeant Sergeant he finds suspicious
6.4 Unaccustomed as I am (1972): Opening scene - Patrick and Nanny driving racing cars. Leslie Phillips invites Pat to play in a cricket match at his old school. When he's injured, he has to mime his Founder's Day speech, and ends up insulting the headmaster (Jack Hulbert)
Christmas Special 1972 - short sketch as HG gets lost and looking for him, Pat roller skates into a pond
Patrick dear Patrick - The best sketch from this hour long special must be Patrick singing a duet with 'mother.' Guests include Patrick Macnee, Beryl Reid and Bernard Cribbins - perhaps their best effort is the final song 'Mad Dogs and Englishmen'

In 1978 Father Dear Father in Australia continued the tale of Uncle Patrick with Nanny, down under to write a new book. The series started with some promise, with the excellent old scriptwriters Cooke and Mortimer and with William G Stewart again in charge of production.
1 Once More With Feeling- Arrival in Oz, met by Patrick's effusive brother Jeffrey. Nice to see familiar face Bill Kerr on customs duty. Also good to see other constants, mother phoning from England asking for a pound of sausages, and Pat's ex wife joining her on the phone. Uncle also meets his two nieces Liz and Sue who reckon he'll be "easy to handle." Mistaking his film producer as a beach bum, is Patrick's first mistake down under. Perhaps the second was the rest of this series
2 A Home from Home - Patrick is homesick, specially when mother sends some mementoes. But kind ex-Brit George Randall (John Meillon) invites him round but with other ex-Brits at the party everyone becomes so nostalgic Patrick has to return home early. He finds the girls enjoying their own party but is a "brick." Nanny solves homesickness by buying a dog just like old HG
3 The Floating Hosekeeper- Aunty Tom is a rival to nanny, and to avoid offending either, both act as Patrick's housekeeper, independently of each other, leading to some fine moments of farce before Aunty Tom decides Patrick must be out of his mind
4 Novel Exercise - A lady from the Bureau for Patrick, a talk at cross purposes, and she declares he should be doctored. More problems in several brushes with a police officer
5 A Word of Appreciation - 37 degrees and Patrick is even more hot under the collar when an effusive fan, Enid, who steals the show, comes to tea. She turns him to jelly
6 Finding your Feet - Captain Cook, a pregnant cat, is mistaken by poor Mr Patrick for a funnelweb spider. Painful
7 The Lost Sheep - The girls are looking after Patrick, and making a mess of it, as Nanny is unwell. Though maybe not so much unwell, more she's gone off the rails, as Patrick follows her to the docks, where she descends to "complete moral disintegration." He persuades the vicar to have a talk with poor Nanny, though of course, it's all entirely innocent
8 A Novel Experience - To help Patrick's novel, nanny writes a confession which the girls take at face value. They also rewrite a chapter of his novel which amazingly seems to sell it to a Hollywood mogul
9 Straight from The Horse's Mouth - Good muddle as Mr Martin is welcomed by Patrick as an agent providing a temporary replacement for nanny, though he's really come to try and sell Brown Bessie to Liz. A beauty who doesn't need the whip is not quite what Patrick envisages. Less fun is the girls' attempt to phone Patrick from 'Hamburg,' the best bit when nanny accidentally gives the game away
10 Father Dear Father's Day - A bearded Charles Tingwell is a bright spot playing Dr Baker treating Patrick who is imagining all sorts of things. In fact brother Jeffrey is returning home for a surprise visit, but the script sadly keeps missing the opportunities
11 Twinkle Twinkle Little Star - After a poor start this builds nicely to a climax. Ex-acrobats The Polly Sisters leave at the house some admiring fan mail which the girls think are to nanny. Patrick wonders to which of the girls this Pickles is writing, but the real Pickles enters inquiring after both sisters. Shouts Patrick, "you're old enough to be their grandfather." But with Twinkle's expose due to be printed in The Sydney News, Patrick complains to the editor
12 The Wisdom of Patrick - Liz wants 'Mr Dishy' to take her to the Snowy Mts, but Uncle Patrick refuses. However when his dishy godson, the irritating Roger, hoodwinks him, Patrick realises he is no judge of character. Liz is allowed to go to the piste, only to find Mr Dishy has stolen Patrick's wallet in this dire Donald Churchill script
13 I Talk To The Trees - Patrick "may look like Methuselah," but perhaps overwork has turned him into a "psychoceramic." Neighbours Ethel and Herbert think a publicity session for Patrick's book arranged by his agent (Wallas Eaton) is an orgy, but after these frolics the story descends downhill into a tale of attempted blackmail
14 Thruppling Thursday - the very last, sadly just as well, in which, the worse for wear after a party, Patrick feigns an excuse for getting out of yet another literary function. It's Thruppling Thursday, and to prove it, he has to invent a recipe for the day's special cake, and a weird game of the same name. In that order, he eats it and plays it

Menu

.

.

.

DICK BARTON (1979)
Southern TV commissioned well known scriptwriter Clive Exton to try and recapture the zippy zany tongue-in-cheek of the original BBC radio serial. It nearly works. Our dashing hero is played by Tony Vogel.

NOW ON DVD from the usual outlets
Episode 1. Civilian life is "irksome" for Dick and Snowey, until they meet crooner Rex Marley at the Blue Parrot Club. "There's something seriously amiss," observes quick witted Dick, as Marley sings through his act as though in a dream. Then pot shots at our heroes! Why? Barton has the clue- a reefer. Rex Marley must be a drug addict.
2. Rex's attractive 'fiancee', "a bit of all right," cons Snowey who's supposed to be looking after poor Rex who's facing "cold turkey." So when Dick returns he's told "the bird has flown." At least Snowey is able to describe a sinister brooch the foreigner was wearing. Dick tries to discover what the Chinese character on it might mean, but now Virginia Marley (Fiona Fullerton), Rex's sister disappears too. Her dad, Sir Richard, is phoned: "call off Dick Barton, if you want your daughter to remain safe."
3. Dick traces the call to WM Brattigan's warehouse in Barking. He finds evidence Miss Marley has been held there- she's kindly left her ring and two words torn from a paper- "ever" and "chase". A witness sees her taken away in a lorry BUC398. So what news have the police (Ivor Roberts) on it? It has just been used in a break-in at a tobacco warehouse, yet nothing at all had been stolen!
4. "I don't like this," groans Sir Richard. Gosh, Dick solves those cryptic clues- "EverRing Chase"- a country seat to which Dick and Snowey immediately repair. Twenty sacks of tobacco- "what's our friend up to Snowey?" "Maybe he's a heavy smoker sir!" But curses, it's a trap. Dick is locked in a refrigeration truck as he complains to his captors: "it looks as though we're in for a cold snap!"
5. Jumping Jehosophat! Dick's trusty penknife enables him to escape his frozen grave, with a little aid from Snowey- "I thought you was a gonner there sir." Dick pays a "social visit" on the "renegade politician" Hetherington, but watch out Dick, the nasties have placed a bomb in your automobile
6. "Stop, this car's been tampered with!" In the engine are "some sticks of rock." Queries our Dick- "a present from Blackpool?" Snowey- "More like Sunny Hetherington." So it's off to the sinister H's where Virginia Marley is rescued but Rex is snatched away to "GHQ" in Wales. There "they're hardly likely to put the welcome mat out;" indeed fierce alsatians guard the perimeter
7. But once in, leaving Jock outside, our heroes discover a sinister bunch of Chinese, a private army lurking beneath the ground. Hetherington takes them prisoner- "savour your last moments on earth..."
8. "Sieg ruddy Heil!" whispers Dick as Hetherington expounds his plans for world domination. "He do go on" agrees Snowey. The plan is apparently to make everyone hashish addicts. But now the end as the stainless steel points press in. The end?
More Episodes .... . . . . . or, if you can't take any more . . . . Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

DICK BARTON (continued)
9 "By midday tomorrow they will have taken control of Broadcasting House, Northolt Aerodrome, all the main line stations and Scotland Yard. And by midnight the country will be ours!" But Jock sabotages their electrics enabling the condemned prisoners to escape in the nick, and even better the idiot Hetherington blames his partner and kills him. Concludes the announcer: "can Dick Barton get to London in time?"
10 Bales K26-45 have been pressed into Golden Frond cigarettes- and they're already on sale! How to prevent people smoking them? Answer- the jolly old BBC broadcast a warning, so all ends happily. There's a final celebration at the Blue Parrot and this time Rex Marley can sing properly. Hurrah!
The End.

But on the way home from the club, an old mate of Jock's, George Cameron, needs help. So our gallant heroes resolve to stick together.
11 Lucy Cameron has been attacked in the street so Dick takes her to his home. "What are you doing with my clothes?" she asks! Only ironing them is the innocent reply. Her chemist father is missing from his workplace, Merton Fertilizers, but according to Mr Tibbs (Roland MacLeod) the truth is he's "cherchez la femme." But whilst Dick is learning this, Lucy is snatched and he returns to discover the message- "keep out of this and keep the police out of this, if you want to see them alive."
12 Tibbs, the Southampton factory manager dithers as Barton urges him to let him in to the premises. Lord knows why Dick doesn't just break in as per usual! There, Jock and Lucy are locked in a "soundproof box" until they reveal "the rest of the formula." The villains believe Cameron passed this on to his daughter- "rather less than ten minutes" for them to tell, or they'll be gassed! But quick thinking Jock saves the day before Dick and Snowey appear. A frightful punchup and away they all run. Except for Lucy, kidnapped again by the evil Klaus, and as Dick remarks "they'll stop at nothing."
13 There's a long resume of the plot so far. Dick summarises the key issue- "we need to find out what George Cameron discovered." He's now been reunited with Lucy and is telling her of his awful discovery which could lay waste the whole country (gasp!), and there's no possible reversal of this process!! Prof Muller (Guy Deghy) would like Cameron to "share" his secret. Never fear, however, Snowey learns the Camerons' whereabouts, only to be knocked out by that utter rotten traitor Ashe of MI5 (Timothy Carlton).
14 "Filthy swine" Muller has a doc who will operate on Lucy to make her into "a nonentity." The whereabouts of the formula has to be revealed- what Muller isn't told is that he needs a third portion! Snowy meanwhile is getting a ticking off from Dick- "you've let the side down, and dashed badly." But Dick walks into Muller's trap. Donner und Blitzen- Barton's been buried on a beach to await the incoming tide! Asks our dramatic narrator "has Barton's luck finally run out?"
What happens next? .... . . . . . . . . or, if you've had enough . . . . Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

DICK BARTON
15 "It was a good innings," declares Barton, apparently as his epitaph. Fortunately the tide's taking a devil of a long time to come in, so it's Jock to Dick's rescue. And after a fight, the three Krauts are given a taste of their own medicine- yes they're buried in the sand!
16 Ashe drives off in "a dashed car" to hand Muller the final part of the formula. At last he's been rumbled- but now there's a grin from the sinister Muller when he discovers the formula "exceeds my wildest expectations." Arriving at the foreigners' HQ, Barton and Co attempt to "smoke them out."
17. "Worm in the grass" Ashe is captured and brought in for interrogation- "the game's up Ashe!" Cameron has been rescued but he's still drugged. Had Muller really got all three parts of the formula? He thinks he has, as he demonstrates how powerful is the formula by spraying a field with it, demanding a million pounds. But it doesn't work- hurrah!
18. Single handedly Snowey penetrates Muller's new hideout- "Gott im Himmel!" Muller tries one last effort to get that formula off Cameron- Ach! "Pipped at the Post!" He's trapped. Hip hip hooray.
End
Aunt Agatha on the phone for Dick. "Good heavens!" he exclaims. It's "The Case of the Disappearing House!"
19 Aunt Agatha's house is a heap of rubble- it had been let to a Harold Jenkins. One odd thing however, there's no glass in the ruins. Dick traces Harold's fiancee Shirley, (Fiona Gray) "a very sensible young lady," who says Harold had been working on a secret process. She knows he'd met a "foreign" gentleman with "this scar running all the way down from his eyebrow to his chin." Good Lord- Dmitri Melganic!!
20 Sir Richard Marley tells Dick the disappearance of this process XB19 is "a matter of gravest national concern." Dick is given a demo of the fiendish ray. He suggests to Shirley- "things look pretty black against your Harold." But she's more upset when Harold writes, breaking off their engagement. As the letter was posted in Preston, Dick prepares to travel to Lancashire, "land of the black pudding." However Melganik has prepared a trap for Dick at his flat....
21 Jock: "there's something wrong in there!" So Dick evades the trap and makes for Preston where Harold's mum's house has been reduced to rubble. Then industrial diamonds are stolen- surely for use in the XB19. Worse, "they've got Jock," carried away in Wolseley BPF21. Melganik is going to gas Jock!
22 "That's murder!" Jock is just saved from a gassing by Dick. Melganik has fled. A clue is found chalked on the wall- "JEFFERSON. NAP COUP. NO BERNADOTTE." Harold's boss Prof Whitaker can't enlighten our heroes as to the meaning, but Dick & Co are suspicious of him and break into his home. They're locked in the cellar. "Blimey, an overgrown worm!" Not quite, explains Dick patiently, rather it's a lot of deadly green garter snakes!
What next? .... . . . . . . . . or, to return to the . . . . Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

DICK BARTON (continued)
23. "Nasty little chaps!" referring to those snakes. "Wish me luck," says Dick as he blows a cold fan on the reptiles- "it works!" Now Shirley comes to our heroes' rescue, releasing them from the cellar. And so to the coded message- it's simple really- it means 1801, 1851, 1818 which naturally means, argues Snowey, a map reference. Just North of New Romney and South of Dymchurch. Obvious really!
24. "Dmitri Melganik can get pretty nasty when he's in a tight corner." In a New Romney hotel register, prisoner Harold Jenkins manages to scrawl "Get Dick Barton." Barton's gang catches up with the villains as they rendezvous with their sub. "Blimey, it's Mr Barton!" In the showdown on a dark beach the foreigners finally break away by a trick you'd have thought Dick Barton would have been ready for- sand thrown in his face. At least Whitaker is caught and Harold rescued. And jolly good show, the Secret isn't being taken abroad, since Harold had made a bomb for the sub, which is now blown to smithereens. "Let's hope that really is the end of Melganik this time," breathes an optimistic Barton.
The End
Series 4 (and last)
25. After saving the XB19 "for the country," Dick is abducted by Allied Intelligence and asked to investigate "cold fish" Sir Guy Ashton, who's worried his wife might be a traitor- "Amanda's been behaving in a most unusual way." But when she's trailed it appears to be more a case of marital infidelity when at the Junction Inn she meets Dandy Parkes (Terence Sewards) a "local boy makes bad." Dick and Jock fall into the hands of his four henchmen
26. Four on to two but with Snowey's intervention, it's the four who flee. Dick questions Amanda who tells him Dandy is only an "ageing playboy." Returning to base Dick nonchalantly queries "What's that?" as he stares at a parcel which is quietly ticking...!
27. "I've just been blown up!" announces Dick. Is Sir Guy Ashton a traitor, that's his pertinent question. Dick leans on playboy Dandy to learn the truth, but he's scared: "I've said too much already." Snowey and Jock track the bomb thrower to Jermyn Street baths, but oh dear, they're locked into the steam room!
28 By digging up the floor(!) Snowey and Jock are "dashed lucky to get away with it." Dandy is now ready to squeal, so he's silenced. Sir Guy and Amanda are driven away to his Hampshire retreat, narrowly avoiding the crooks in a slow motion car chase. Snowey sees them safe whilst Dick and Jock stumble on Dandy's corpse. What's this? The police materialise and charge Dick, yes I said Dick, with murder!
For the conclusion .... . . . . . . . . or, to return to the . . . . Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

DICK BARTON (continued)
29 Our hero eludes the police but straight into the flick knives of the villains. They are neatly sidestepped with the aid of a stiletto! Dandy's dairy shows he met his cronies at The Snooker Hall so Snowey with Janet ("I still say it's no party for a girl") drive there, where Snowey is coshed
30 Janet gets away to warn Dick, but Snowey is tied up on a demolition site and only in the nick of time does Dick extricate him- "don't leave it a moment longer next time, sir." But with Janet and Lady Amanda now alone, they are easy prey....
31 Amanda Ashton is taken away as a hostage by the crooked Drews- or is she actually "hand in glove with them?" They are planning to fly off to Switzerland, but there at the aerodrome, Dick "puts the mockers on" them
32 Dick, Jock and Amanda are abandoned, tied up too, in the crooks' plane after they bale out. Although "it's a long time since I've flown one of these things," Dicks lands the aircraft safely and races to Sir Guy Ashton who faces extinction at the hands of the villains. Although he's a traitor, "fair play" demands Dick sees him through, so he "moves like hell" for the final almighty punch-up.

The End. Sadly, though the announcer advises us to watch out for more from Dick Barton, that's his last Southern outing!
To Menu

.

.

/

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

WODEHOUSE PLAYHOUSE
The BBC were renowned for their skill at producing A1 comedy, yet somehow this series never quite took off. Compared with the later mostly superb LWT adaptations of 'Jeeves and Wooster' these stories appear too plodding and lacking that certain lightness of touch. John Alderton starred in each of the 20 stories and was always just a little too one dimensional. Perhaps the best that can be said is that the period flavour was spot on. True too, that when she appeared, Pauline Collins had that 1920's "it" sparkle, but the overall effect was one of let down. Should you want to see it, numerous outlets can sell it you on dvd.

3 Portrait of a Disciplinarian - Reggie Mulliner has travelled to Bingley-on-Sea for a dreaded meeting with his 85 year-old ferocious nanny Nurse Wilks (a splendid part for Daphne Heard). She's matchmaking Reggie with his estranged love Jane Oliphant, and both are punished by being locked, as of old, in the understairs cupboard, where romance is happily re-ignited
6 Mr Potter takes a Rest Cure - Bobbie Wickham does rather "embroider" things, but maybe she needs to when her "terrifying" mater wants to pair her off with crashing bore Clifford Grindle. By setting him off against a recuperating guest Mr Potter, convincing them to believe both are set on killing, she averts disaster by creating another
7 Big Business - Reggie Mulliner inherits £50,000 and the hand of Amanda, but her wicked Uncle Jethro (Derek Francis) diddles the mug, selling him worthless shares. Inspired by his tragedy as he sings Ol Man River, he plucks up courage to confront the "pot bellied old swindler"
15 The Editor Regrets -Wee Tots is what "drooling halfwit" Bingo is in charge of. But in error he gives all time American best selling authoress Bella the elbow and has to "play her like a stringed instrument," to win her contract. Unfortunately his wife Rose returns at just the wrong moment. 'Just' describes the plot which doesn't quite deliver any of the promising punches
16 Mulliner's Buck-Up O
17 The Smile that Wins
18 Tangled Hearts - Smallwood Bessemer scatters his advice even where it's not wanted. His fiancee Celia (Sally Thomsett) tires of it, and on the rebound gets engaged to Carter Muldoon, while Smallwood forms an attachment with Esme. A dull protracted foursomes golf match restores the status quo
19 The Luck of the Stiffhams - Adolphus' engagement to Geraldine (Liza Goddard) is called off by the "management," ie her irascible father Lord Wivelscombe (Leslie Sands, rather over the top), since he regards young Stiffham as "a penniless piefaced poop." So Adolphus sails to America, there to make his fortune at craps. "Brimming with dubloons," he returns to haunt his lordship who thinks he's dead

To Menu
To the earlier World of Wooster

.

.

.

.

.

.

NEAREST AND DEAREST
This show remains a fitting tribute to our first comedienne of British telly, Hylda Baker. Perhaps it wasn't up to the standard of "Our House," but it certainly compares favourably with Hylda's last series "Not on Your Nellie" for LWT. That series lacked the innocent charm of this very parochial show from Granada, and which stands as the last hurrah for that Northern humour that was very much the forte of Frank Randle. Producer Peter Eckersley described the series thus, "Northern comedy in the good old-fashioned tradition." Whilst Jimmy Jewel sat there rather uncomfortably (and with too many "bloodys", I felt), Hylda sparkled with support from a repertory of players schooled in the Northern comic tradition. Who can forget her "I am a foooool!" and of course "It's a quarter past...... oh I must get a little hand put on that watch." Happily, all 45 stories have been reissued on dvd.
1.1 It Comes to Us All (August 1968) - "No good" Eli returns home after 15 years for his 97 year old dad's "prolapse." The will ("how much?") gives little to Eli and Nellie unless they continue to run the pickle factory. Not a scintillating start, but I liked Tim Barrett's bemused solicitor facing the ancient workforce of Pledge's Pickles
1.2 Lead Me to the Altar- Some classic comedy lines and a touch of pathos in a story which begins with 'Tiger' Eli bringing home a clippie, while Nellie's heart "stood still" when she meets missionary Ernest (Norman Scace). Will he marry her and take her back to "Angora"? Though he's a "total abstrainer," he gets Dutch courage on his stag night with Eli, but with Nellie at the altar finally succumbs to "yellow fever." Poor Nellie, "like a jar of Pledge's Pickles, untouched by human hand"
1.3 The Danger List - Eli becomes a "hypercataract" to get out of stocktaking chores. Nellie "dognoses" him as pregnant until she spots he is shamming. She convinces him he's caught Blackwater Fever, and Nellie's quack holds out no hope for him. Burke and Hare come to cheer him up, the vicar almost gives him a "prolapse." Corny, but so well done
1.4 Take a Letter - All the obvious jokes you know as "typhoon" Eli interviews for a secretary. "The illegitimate bachelor" appoints "painted piece" Enema
1.5 You Make Me Feel So Young - Stan and "Rudolph Vasselino" aka Eli have discovered that the vintage Kitchener's Pickles, c1918, "get them going." Nellie is too, with Arnold Ackroyd (Willougby Goddard- "five pounds thinner in his girdle") but she finds he is only after her for her factory. It's like "Sodom and Tomorrow" as everyone tries to get hold of the special pickles. And this nearly becomes a fine fantasy as pickles become the latest recreational drug
1.6 The Wrong Side of the Sheets - At the cemetry Nellie is explaining to Eli about The Day of Insurrection, but is Stan their real dad?- "I'd rather be descended from King Kong!" A family "conflagration" sorts out "the secret fleshpots of Colne"
2.1 A Breach of the Peace (July 1969) - 11 o'clock sharp, Nellie is in the dock for shoplifting. Eli's suggested defence is she's "not all there," but Nellie prefers to consult Cartwright the solicitor (Jack Watling, who overdoes his part). Pledge, alias Plunge, admits "truth is stranger than friction," in a madcap trial, though the best scene for me is when Nellie talks at cross purposes with an easy woman. Finally Nellie is found "not guilty with exterminating circumstances"
2.2 Wish You Were Here - Reminds me of Buckingham Palace," remarks Eli of his Blackpool digs, managed by the fawning "Mrs Rawbottom." Eli spends the holiday money on the slot machines, but luckily Stan has plenty of cash. Two classic scenes, one with Eli sharing his bed with Stan, the other as Nellie describes to Lily a French film she's watched
2.3 The Demon Drink - Miss Pledge is being considered for membership to a select club but Eli's drunkenness stops all that. "History has been made" as Eli Pledge signs the pledge, but staying on the straight and narrow is too hard when he laces the lemonade with vodka
2.4 All You Wish Yourself - At quarter to - it's breakfast in bed for Nellie "just like Jacqueline Oasis." But the cat's eaten most of the kipper and Eli's forgotten it's her birthday, so he can't get round her that way. He needs to cos he's bought a new sports car, "a crumpet catcher." So he tries taking her for a birthday bash at the Starlit Roof, dancing in me top hat, putting on me white tie, "manuring me nails" for a cha-cha. Only it turns out to be a strip joint
2.5 Now Is the Hour - Storm the delivery horse is sick, so driver Stan is for the sack. At the Powder Puff Boutique, Nellie buys a dress, at the pub Eli buys a bargain watch, in readiness for a presentation to Stan, done by the Mayor (Peter Butterworth). But the watch is stolen... it's the Mayor's! However all's well as it turns out Storm isn't poorly, only pregnant
3.1 What Seems to Be the Trouble? (October 1969) - To see Eli's case is properly "dognosed", Nellie accompanies him to the doc. She tells Eli: "the brain is like an electronic harp." Eli: "You've twanged yours once too often." In the end it's Nellie who has to see the "pychiatrist" (Wallas Eaton), but it's he who ends up on the couch! Analyses Nellie: "Tell Nellie, she knows y'know. Now when you were a little boy, did you have your own toilet?"
3.2 The Birds and the Bees - The "epitaph of innocence," Uncle Charlie's son Nigel comes to stay, and Nellie invites his friends to a party, to play Pass the Parcel. Then it's off to an art gallery. There is too much dialogue after this as he's explained the facts of life, "thingy"
3.3 Get Up Them Stairs - Walter and Lily learn they were married by "an imposter pastor." Nellie negotiates with the vicar for a secret wedding - "could we sort of nip in to the vestry one night after the pubs close; could you do a quick service?" Walter starts acting the gay bachelor as Eli takes him on a tour of "the fleshpots of Colne." That is, before Nellie gets them both to the Registry. "What a performance!" cries Eli, in a line borrowed from one great comedian
3.4 The Power Behind the Throne - The new executive bog flushes out all the traditional lavatorial jokes, and the workers on strike. But Eli turns Stan into a "Judas Carrot" by promoting him to executive status
3.5 Getting to Know You - Eli is to trollop off to the country, leaving Nellie "never anything near it." But plans are scuppered when they are locked in cellar, leaving plenty of time for intimate secrets like Nellie's tattoo, while Eli even promises to reform
3.6 Two Pennies to Rub Together - "Humphrey Bogart lives" as Stan guards the pay packets. But there is no pay, because Hardcastle (John Sharp) is starving Pledge's Pickles into "bankrupture" with his new line in pickles. So the workers sell out for "a message of potash" and it's time to sell the family heirlooms
Christmas Special: The Ghost of Picklers Past (December 26th 1969) - "The methylated Spirit of Christmas" is Eli. Maybe "cards castrate the future," though Lily can act as "a mediocre" and conjure up a skull, perhaps that of Beetroot Billy's grandad "from the Great Behind." The skull provides plenty of fun as the story gathers a scarey momentum with the vicar (Windsor Davies) giving "the spook the hook." Why, Nellie is almost "prostitute with fear"
4.1 A Price on Your Head (May 1970)- Secret visitor for Nellie, but Eli catches them at it, that is Nellie buying insurance. Eli reciprocates, resulting in money making schemes like £200 for a broken leg. Corny, but "you get a lot of murder over insurance"
4.2 A Young Man's Fancy - Eli has bought a mink coat, not for Nellie, but for Marilyn, his bride to be (Fanny Carby). It's hate at first sight with Nellie, and she sets out to expose the hussy
4.3 When You've Got to Go - Eli reaches rock bottom. After Nellie has words, she leaves, but where to? Some tatty digs ("my shaggy-la") run by a sour landlord (Ken Jones). He gets inflamed by Nellie but when she sees him in the bath "Fanny Hill" has to flee homewards. Here Eli has planned an unsuccessful orgy, the place is a slum. Nellie boots him out
4.4 When Love Walks In - Eli sells his half of the factory to property developer Leonard Longbottom (Wensley Pithey), but to clinch the deal Leonard has to "have a bash" at Nellie to buy her share. But "the illegitimate bachelor" somehow falls for her charms, but gets the jitters as he tries to pop the question. In a fine comedy routine, Eli tries to coach him as to what to say, in this often touching and amusing story
4.5 An Open and Shut Case - Absenteeism means it's down to Nellie and Eli, Lily and Walter to get the pickles through. Half hearted slapstick develops into a hunt for Walter's false teeth. They must be in the consignment sent to Whittakers, "they'll damage us for sewages." Not there, so two other long shots, Eli calls on Mrs Jones ("call me Mildred") but her husband returns at an unfortunate moment. Nellie tries to buy back the jar the pub has bought, but has to have a drink for each pickle. Yes, things were livening up when the story has to end
5.1 Make Yourself at Home (December 1970) - Lily and Walter are homeless, and come to stay. So ill is Walter, he writes his "last will and tentacle." There's a lot of "hovering" round his deathbed, while Eli even tries to chat up Lily
5.2 Compliments of the Season - At the "festering" season, snow falls freely forcing Stan and Grenville, Lily and Walter to stay for Xmas as the wine flows freely, but where's the food?
5.3 Barefaced in the Park - Arrested as The Park Prowler, Walter is given an "allergy" by Eli, while Lily and Nellie roam the park hoping to lure the prowler. As nothing happens, to Lily's disappointment, they concoct a tale to a policeman while Eli and Trendy Stan roam the park with their birds. You feel the script should have exploited it all better
5.4 A Man and a Woman - "Colne's answer to Carnaby Street," Lily actually, looks a Thoroughly Modern Lily like Barbara Carthorse. She gets "insaturated" with virile coalman Snatcher (Ivor Salter). Nellie makes Stan take some "discriminating" photos. He gives Eli some "immoral support" in telling the coalman to leave off. No luck, so it's up to Nellie, who confronts the Bossanova
5.5 Bottoms Up - Nellie is in temporary charge of The Spreadeagle, and soon clears it, everybody crowding down to the Queen's Arms. Lure the punters back, Eli urges her, with a striptease by Beryl the barmaid. As she's bashful, Eli dances "like Danny la Rude"
5.6 X Marks the Spot - Eli is "at the end of his feather" and replaces himself with Major Lovelace (William Kendall). But Shoelace/Lovelorn might be the officer who knows Eli was once a deserter, and so Stan is assigned to be the major's "bathmat" to spot if he has a war wound in his backside. Finally Eli cracks, and it's up to Nellie to plead his case
5.7 Something in the Night - Lily's been "turned over" and a Defective Inspector is hoping to take the thief into "custard." Alone at home that night, Nellie's only company is Stan, but could he be the Boston Dangler? No, that feller's breaking in via the bedroom window, but yes, 'tis only Eli
5.8 Lucky for Some - The business is going to pot (again?!) so as Stan's been at the firm 63 years, and more relevantly come into some money, he's appointed a director. He dresses up to the nines to "deduce" Nellie but when Mr Littlewood (David Garth) hands Stan his 'money' it turns out to be only a lease on an OAP bungalow
6.1 For Better, for Worse (June 1972) - Nellie is on a blind date, so is Eli, but the date turns out to be with each other. Back to the Marriage Bureau run by Mr Wellbeloved (Philip Stone) and a double date is arranged. Their dates are Albert and Ivy who take a shine to each other, leaving Eli and Nellie back at square one
6.2 A Place in the Sun - With Closetophobia, Nellie plans to hobble nobble in Spain after winning the lottery. But first she and Eli need inoculation, then Nellie practises the fandago and they learn some Spanish. At the airport there are delays...
6.3 The Female of the Species - An altercation at the launderette, Nellie v Easy Alice (Lynn Carol), barmaid at the Spreadagle. As a result it's Eli who is banned from the pub, and this must lead to all out war
6.4 Worker's Playtime - "Financial distemper" with the company "bankruptured." To time everyone's motions, Eli and Nellie consult an expert, "what's 'e talking about?" To save money, they conduct their own time and motion study, conclusion: "none of you do any work." Result: Stan calls a strike. So Eli turns pickler, a prince among picklers, his first day's work in 27 years. And his last, never again he vows. Thus workers and management hold discussions ... in The Spreadagle
6.5 The Right Spirit - For last time, Eli's stopped out too late, so he's locked out, and has to stay with a reluctant Stan. To get back home, he tries scaring Nellie but she has Lily and Walter staying now and they're more work than Eli. So Nellie and Eli band together to haunt Lily and Walter, who prove very sound sleepers
6.6 A Question of Taste- it's the Olympic Games of Picklers- at Blackpool, so who will win The Golden Gherkin? Main rival to the Pledges is Donald Guttersby of Burnley who's acquired the secret Pledge recipe via Eli's floosie. Though what she has actually nicked in horse dung. Then there's the competition Miss Pickle 1972- could Nellie really win it?
6.7 A Pair of Bloomers - Nellie's special Coronation Bloomers have been taken from the washing line, "somebody's nicked me knickers." PC Nicholas investigates Knickerless Nellie while Constable Simkins arrests Eli, an inside job maybe, so obviously suspects have to be "illiterated." In court Eli is on trial, defended by Nellie, with the judge (Campbell Singer) needing to exercise all his immense patience in a travesty of British justice
7.1 Cindernellie (December 1972) - Rupert Tempest (John Barrie) swindles Eli out of the staff Christmas fund. Nellie becomes an 'angel' as the show must go on, so the miscast cast attempt to rehearse the panto, sadly without quite succeeding at any level
7.2 Good Time Girl - A fine role reversal as Nellie, to the music of The Stripper, swoops into the pub to many admiring looks. Eli, replete with apron, reprimands her for coming home so late. It had all started when Eli had taken in a lodger, the Don Juan of the North. The Rex Harrison of Runcorn had met The Bride of Frankenstein, that's Eli's description of her and him, and somehow it became the talk of the town. Stan, Grenville and even Walter want a slice of the action, "I may not be Elizabeth Taylor, but your Walter has gone a burton on me"
7.3 The French Disconnection - Restaurateur Pierre 'Lavatory' invites the Pledges to Paris, to sell their pickles, so Stan learns Eli the little French he knows, a la "voulez-vous jig a jig avec moi cherry?" At the Cafe Napoleon, Nellie, thinking this relates to pickles, tries the jig a jig line on the surprised pickles buyer Henri (Francis de Wolff)... with some success
7.4 Get Out of That - A week at Woodside Farm, run by Dr Scott (Anthony Sharp), a health farm. "I haven't had a fag for three days," is the prelude to some stock situations using the starvation motif- Send for Stan, with a cartload of grub. Most grotesque moment, thoroughly entertaining, is Nellie Pledge attempting her exercises on the floor
7.5 The One That Got Away - Ex POW Siegfried (Paul Dawkins) revisits the Pledges after 25 years, to return their kindness by restoring the fortunes of Pledge's Pickles. As 'Seaweed' tells the workers, "Ve have vays of making you pickle." So much work brings on a strike, as all are unhappy, except for Nellie who thinks marriage is in the air
7.6 The Visit - Nellie's "deep infection" for the Royals blooms when they are to visit the pickle factory. Mr Broomhead/Skinhead from the Town Hall checks preparations in a nice moment as the staff dress up a la Come Dancing. As the big dawn dawns, there's a touch of pathos
7.7 Far from the Madding Pong - "Even b***** Cathy wouldn't Come Home here!" That's the cottage Nellie wants to buy, but 'Willo'fred's' (unconvincing Ronald Radd) warns Nellie and Eli of the legend of the lost brother and sister. Eli makes her think the place is haunted, with skulls and creaky doors, but it's all "a figleaf of our imagination"
Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

Take Three Girls
A very variable collection of plays from the good to the downright dreadful, about three London flatmates. The background music I found obtrusive.

1.10 Katie- Keep Hoping (January 1970)-
Katie (Susan Jamieson) is off to Scotland with her baby Aeneas to catalogue a library in a castle. Garvie the butler, looking like a left over from a Hammer horror, matches the Gothic splendour of the place, whilst his son the mute Dermot is totally weird. Lady Worthington (Sylvia Coleridge) is the owner, who lives in grand isolation, all four of her sons having been killed in the war. Mrs Elsie Garvie the cook seems to have some sort of hold over her, maybe because her son Dermot looks uncannily like a Worthington in his looks. As long as he takes his pills, insists Lady Worthington, he's all right. Looking fearfully modern in such ancient surroundings, Kate explores the empty shell of a home. She meets the piano tuner John (Lyndon Brook). Result- more chatting than cataloguing. On one tour round the castle she is locked (accidentally?) in the turret and finds evidence that someone on the staff is copying the valuable miniatures kept in the library. "The phone is out of order," announces the butler stiffly, in the best horror tradition. So leaving her baby with Lady Worthington, she dashes to the nearest habitation, a shop, and makes that call.
It's John whom she phones. When they reach the castle Mrs Garvie is taking care of Aeneas whilst Dermot is copying a picture, which Garvie is giving as a present to his mistress. Katie is now John's mistress, and he fills in the gaps in the "cheery story," though the tension, after having been successfully built up has suddenly collapsed. So the final rather solemn conversation between the two lovers is a non-event
2.14 Lulie - The Private Sector (March 1971)
American Lulie (Barra Grant) is flying in to Heathrow to be met by her boyfriend Jimmy with Ida, her longstanding friend (Anna Cropper) tagging along. This seems almost like a serious version of Man About the House, when you see the bedsit Lulie stays in, and that view is reinforced when Doug (here as Douglas) Fisher turns up as Henry, trying to pick Lulie up in the park.
She is completing a doctorate in social therapy, Lord help us, and speaks in long words: "I feel undermined already," admits Henry sadly.
She takes him to a party at Jimmy's, there's plenty more conversation, too much indeed, Henry a fish out of water, but he's not the only one. Political waffle on contemporary topics like social class, unions, inflation and armaments. It's left to Henry to add a note of realism. Lulie rows with Jimmy over another girl friend he has, Claire, and accuses him of becoming middle class in his political apathy. She shouts at his friends as she rants against social injustice. Maybe this is what the author wanted to get across, but it's achieved in a plodding way, one-sided propaganda. Lulie has another scene alone with Jimmy as they agree to separate. If Lulie is as "bushed" as she claims, so is everyone watching.
She gives Henry the push too for good measure, before chatting to Victoria (Lisa Goddard) in a coda that put the lid on my depression
Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

Lord Peter Wimsey
Ian Carmichael starred in this BBC series with Glyn Houston as the urbane Bunter.

Clouds of Witness (1972)
in five parts. Part 1: Lord Denver (David Langton) kicks out of his stately pile Riddlesdale Lodge "utter swine" Captain Cathcart, for cheating at cards. But when Cathcart is shot dead, Denver is chief suspect and Inspector Charles Parker takes the back seat in Lord Peter's meticulous investigation. The story begins with rather a dull set of upper crust types, but certainly picks up when Georgina Cookson momentarily steals the scene
Part 2: Detailed forensic work and consulting Denver's lawyer Impey (Francis de Wolff). It sends Lord Peter to sleep, and us also for the quiet pace is unknown to today's speedy directors. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the memorable scene in which Lord Peter calls on his neighbour over the moor, the surly Grimethorpe (George Coulouris)

The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club (1973)
in four parts

Murder Must Advertise (1973)
in four parts

The Nine Tailors (1974)
in four parts

Five Red Herrings (1975)
in four parts
Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

DOCTORS -

DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
DOCTOR AT LARGE
DOCTOR IN CHARGE
DOCTOR ON THE GO

LWT's long running saga loosely based on Richard Gordon's books, started amateurishly with some feeble scripts and atrocious acting. However persistence paid off, and in Robin Nedwell and Richard O'Sullivan they found a winning formula.
Perhaps Geoffrey Davies as Dick Stuart-Clark was the most likeable of the rogue doctors.
Ernest Clark as brusque Sir Geoffrey Loftus added the necessary contrast by providing a pompous dignity to proceedings.
Ralph Michael as the laid-back Dean was also memorable.
Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.


DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
1 Why Do You Want to be a Doctor? -
Upton somehow passes his interview for St Swithins and on his first day meets Duncan Waring (Robin Nedwell) and eternal student Dick. They're greeted by an appallingly monotonous, but brilliantly funny, speech from the dean before Professor Loftus gives them a much more forthright, but equally fun, welcome: "I am going to give you hell!" John Cleese and Graham Chapman's script hits just the right anarchic note. After this, Doctor In the House was all downhill
11 Keep it Clean (1970)
Doctors Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.


DOCTOR AT LARGE
14 No Ill Feeling (1971) -
Roy Kinnear steals the show as a wisecracking salesman, though Brian Oulton's hypochondriac doctor runs him close. A chance for a bit of slapstick when the salesman is taken down a peg by Upton's more worldly-wise mates
25 Things that Go Mump in the Night -
Dr Upton seems to have gone down with mumps, so why is Dr Bingham ordering an enema for him? Could be he's jealous of Upton's attentions towards Nurse Allison (Angela Douglas)
Doctors Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.


DOCTOR IN CHARGE
9 Face the Music (1972) -
When Waring's poor golf shot knocks out the chapel organist, Lawrence Bingham volunteers to replace him. Waring hardly atones for his mistake by spiking Lawrence's drinks, leading to the least solemn memorial service ever
10 Mum's the Word -
In casualty is Duncan's mum (Mollie Sugden), but to impress the board of governors, Dunc has claimed she's a countess- so Dick kindly and amusingly poses as the effusive Mrs Waring
11 The Fox -
Dunc suggests Lawrence should "live it up," and some trickery in this daft story sees poor Lawrence "desire" to smother the new severe matron with kisses
17 On the Brink
18 Amazing Grace
19 Shut Up and Eat What You're Given
28 The Merger - Loftus is "on edge" as St Swithin's is threatened with being pulled down for redevelopment, so the docs create chaos when Sir John the developer tours "the worst hospital in the world"
31 The Epidemic
35 In Place of Strife (1973)-
Waring mistakes the painters for new students and permits them to "fondle" a dolly patient. Then he brings them out on strike when he does a spot of painting and finally the whole hospital grinds to a halt as he and Collier fail abysmally to stand in for nurses on a ward
Doctors Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.


DOCTOR ON THE GO
After peaking with Doctor at Large, and Doctor in Charge, the series went downhill rather, and though not anything like as excrutiating as some of the first Doctor series, overacting and over indulgence don't usually make for good comedy.

1 Keep Your Nose Clean (1975)
6 M*A*T*C*H - When Dr Gascoygne drags poor Duncan away from the football on telly to examine a patient with a supposedly rare disease, Dunc gets his own back by tricking the naive Gazza into believing one patient really has an obscure disease. Sir Geoffrey's next ward round is not a success....
8 What's Op Doc with George Moon, Johnny Briggs
10 A Heart in the Right Place with Robert Dorning
Doctors Menu
Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

The David Nixon Show

From the 1950's, David Nixon had been producing his magic on both BBC and Commercial TV. For a little on his 1965 ABC series.
Below, a few surviving shows from the long running 1970's series.

* with Matt Monro
Freddie Davies lets David see his performing flea. David shows his double The Rabbit Game. Penny is introduced to him and Matt Monro, and does a striptease... behind a screen. David sings with Matt while suspending Penny in mid air. Rod Hull hypnotises Emu, or so he thinks, in a fun scene before Emu sings Lucky To Have a Friend Like Me. Matt sings Sarah's Coming Home. Final trick: Mr Tweet (FD) drives a motorcycle into a large crate which is lifted in mid air and then demolished

* with Freddie Davies and George Chisholm

with Bob Monkhouse and Anita Harris
David, full of his recent Far East visit, does a trick his assistants have failed to perform. Under the eye of a member of the audience from Barnhurst, he performs four neat tricks. Anita Harris sings a rather dreary song I Wish You Love. Bob Monkhouse quips with David and they draw sketches of each other. Bob jokes and sings a novel number Happy Families. David's finale with Anita and Bob uses oriental costumes in which Anita- or is it Bob?- disappears

with Ali Bongo and Anita Harris

with Ray Allan and Anita Harris
Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

FLOCKTON FLYER (1978)
Series Two - now sadly without Sheila Fearn, and Jessica is silent in the first story of the new series, mainly perhaps because she's played by a replacement- she's also better.
This second group of stories is generally an improvement, with some fine guests (in stories 1 to 4) and generally much more fun and dash to the scripts, and even more railway atmosphere. Was the producer ex-BBC, his use of fine classical musical themes is very reminiscent of Auntie's old style?
2.1 Race You For It - Swaggering new Duke of Flockton (Patrick Mower as himself almost) wants his railway back but sportingly accepts Bob's challenge to a loco race, the Duke's Vulcan versus The Flyer. Stogumber 9am, Cdr Frost sees them away, a great race, the Duke more like "Biggles" as the locos duel funnel to funnel, though in reality obviously only chugging along, one along a most grassy track, but all beautifully filmed. Of course over confidence proves the duke's downfall
2.2 Ready When You are Mr Cutley - Cutley is the frustrated director of a film about the Indian Mutiny, with sequences to be shot on the railway. He's nicely played by Harry Fowler, who has to stop shooting when Arab finances run dry. So there's time for a spot of calf love between Jessica and leading man Christopher. Good old Bill (whom I find rather irritating) sees things right, for the film at any rate, as filming recommences at Crowcombe in a very slight but happy episode
2.3 What A Little Beauty - Potts (Colin Douglas) possesses everyone's dream, a station with its own railway line plus his pride and joy, a locomotive. But it's costing him all his money, and more, so to make ends meet he has resorted to stealing local cows. Cdr Frost, whom Potts is teaching to drive, sees Potts has been a "damned fool" and with the help of the Flyer, all the cows are returned by night
2.4 A Question of Honour - "A fine sight" in an almost controversial story are the hounds, but when Bob stops his train on a crossing to allow a fox to escape, the Master of the Hounds (Gerald Harper) stirs up local feelings against the railway. That upsets dad who upsets Bill, and Cdr Frost is no mediator. However healing comes when a huntswoman is injured and her horse has to be rushed, only one way, by the Flyer, to the vet. Don't ask why the vet can't go to the horse- the brief part of the vet is played by veteran Edward Underdown, incorrectly billed as Edward Underwood- sic transit gloria
2.5 'Op It- "Everybody's busy" except Jessica, so she stows away on The Flyer to catch a boat to a rocky island with no name. After a frantic search she's found, it's quite moving but not really a railway story
2.6 A Little Bit of Somewhere- At last we see a passenger train! Though after Bob picks up a Romany named Sylvia the carriage disappears as if by magic. The gipsies set up camp by Crowcombe station as a few social issues are gently explored, but it's not a railway story
Menu

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

PUBLIC EYE
A unique series really made by the superb acting of Alfred Burke as Frank Marker, and by some generally excellent scripts. It started as a black/white ABC production and was one of the few shows that survived the transition to Thames.
1.2 Nobody Kills Santa Claus (1965) - A rather slow story about obnoxious businessman Paul Garston (Keith Baxter) whose rivals "all come out bent and battered." Marker nearly ends up as a hospital case himself when he's hired to protect this unlikeable tycoon. Who is after Garston, a business rival, his estranged wife or his girl friend?
1.12 The Morning Wasn't So Hot - 14 pounds in the post office, Jenny (Carol Ann Ford) runs away from Hull to the big city. Befriended by a ponce, he sells her on for £300 to the smooth talking Dannon (Philip Madoc). But she runs away again, and Marker, already on her trail, is also commissioned by Dannon to find her. The story slows with a tale of blackmail before Marker gets lucky and finds her, warning her what's in store for her. A noble gesture, for she won't listen and he gets duffed up. Marker 's case is over, and she's for "the battery farm"
2.2 Don't Forget You're Mine (1966) - First Birmingham client is Mrs Jessop (Pauline Delaney, later to become Mrs Mortimer), whose younger husband is missing. Tis the usual reason, another woman. Seedy and predictable, but a well told story. Writer Roger Marshall's knack is to divide your sympathies before giving a clever unexpected twist before Frank proves himself "a private detective with honour"
2.7 Works with Chess, Not with Life - "Dodgy mushrooms" have poisoned Miss O'Hara (Valerie Bell), or so she claims. Frank chats her up, and shows her up too. A tougher case is investigating a doctor (Derek Waring) cheating on Nancy his wife. It's the eternal triangle with Susan (Ann Lynn), and he takes ages agonising over which woman to choose. Susan blackmails him when he tries to ditch her. Marker, with brilliant scheming, sorts her out
3.9 The Bromsgrove Venus (1968) - Maria, the wife of a chief librarian, has been photographed in the nude by Ingleby who also works at the library. Marker is paid to find out more, and finds the true blackmailer as he dances the tango at Pauline's dancing school
To detailed reviews of Series 4 of Public Eye
5.1 A Mug Named Frank (1971) - rather sad, as Frank Marker's romance with Mrs Mortimer is inevitably written out. He helps a dear old Brighton lady (Nora Nicholson) whose son (Barry Foster) is £3,000 in arrears. When the son steals his mother's rare silver casket, Frank persuades him to confess all to the local police in Windsor, thus winning, at last, the respect of the law, at least in Windsor
5.2 Well- There Was This Girl You See - New opening titles now Frank's in Windsor, and at last a client, a girl who wants to share with Frank the £300 reward for returning a stolen necklace. She wants to shop Sheldon her ex-boyfriend who has ditched her- "I don't like your type," Marker tells him. Nor does Percy the police inspector, but Frank "plays games" too long and, typically, overplays his hand
5.3 Slip Home in the Dark - The case of the anonymous phone caller who blackmails Barbara whose hubby is trying to make a new start out of jail. A sad case, but at least Frank cracks it. "Mr Marker, I don't like you very much"
5.4 I Always Wanted a Swimming Pool - (now in colour) An opportunity for some shots around Windsor as Frank trails an errant husband. His main case is related to the rather sad Charles Loose (Cyril Luckham) who seems to be selling fake paintings of the Norwich School artist Manton. As he is patron to a young artist (James Bolam) he seems to have the opportunity. Marker poses as a connoiseur who wishes to purchase a genuine Manton. "Success makes for carelessness," Frank as usual getting too involved, but he comes out quids in for once when there's a brilliant twist to the story
5.5 The Beater and the Game - "Life isn't all happiness," older man Stanley warns his young girl friend. Certainly not for Frank either, when Stanley objects to Frank trailing him. Poor Frank is being used to track Stanley down by a "monster" (Terence Rigby)- "a very nasty business"
5.6 Come Into the Garden Rose (b/w)- Rich old Rose (Madge Ryan) announces she is to marry Harry, the porter at her home (George Sewell). Marker exposes him for what he is, but she runs away with him anyway. All a little embarrassing, the story that is, more so perhaps because, though it's not made explicit, Marker can see something of himself in Harry
5.7 And When You've Paid the Bill...- Peter Kulman, aged 23, has jumped off his uncle's office block. Frank delves his motives in a sad but fascinating tale, marred by some poor acting. The truth is even more painful than expected, as the script collapses, like Frank's typed report
5.8 Who Wants to be Told Bad News? - Some fine acting here: Glyn Edwards as usual, as Bain the irascible estate agent; and Mollie Maureen as his aunt, who asks Mr Marker to find a 1917 newspaper. But his main job is to check out Bain's Asian client, who wants to rent an isolated cottage: "something funny there, if you ask me." Too late, Frank goes to the cottage, but the con artists have flown, not that Marker is that bothered
5.9 The Man Who Didn't Eat Sweets - Is my husband Eddie (Peter Sallis) cheating on me? Yet he seems so innocent in this sad but moving story. But three wives on the go is quite a juggling act, and Frank tries to resolve it by facing Eddie with his polygamy. "No excuses," he admits, as it all comes crashing down
5.10 Ward of Court - Martin Bailey has fled from Sheffield to Windsor, with his son. Marker traces him and serves a court order, only to reluctantly get involved in a tug of war between father and "monster" of a mother. Superbly done, you don't know just where your sympathies lie
5.11 Transatlantic Cousins - For once Frank has an assistant, reluctantly, in the shape of Lana, daughter of an American who wants Frank to unearth his aristocratic roots. This makes for a novel variation, except she's such a feeble actress. They dig up "a dreadful old man" in straitened circumstances, and Alfred Burke enjoys a nice scene with him. As Marker remarks "I always end up disappointing somebody"
5.12 Shades of White - Are Jimmy and Simon a bad influence on 18 year old Anne (Lesley Anne Down)? Allan her bullying dad thinks so, and wants Marker to find out about them. Frank flirts with the housekeeper to help catch the two thieves in an excellently written tale (Robert Muller) full of well-drawn characters
5.13 John VII Verse 24 - Not entirely convincing story when Inspector Firbank advises Frank to "stick to the facts," after he suspends one of his juniors who's accused of theft. Frank finds himself as go-between, defending the young copper
7.7 Hard Times (1975)- Another new office, this one's in Station Approach Chertsey. An uncommonly friendly bank manager (Tenniel Evans) presses Marker to up his modest fees. First job from some dubious looking characters: Find Jimmy. As he's laundering money Frank knows he's on "a hiding to nothing"
Post 60's TV Menu

.

.

.

.

.

PUBLIC EYE
In Series Four the programme achieved a very high standard of writing, with a sensitive account of an ex prisoner's problems in attempting to reintegrate into society.

The series starts in Ford Prison, and shows Frank Marker being released and trying to make a new start in Brighton. With reluctant help from his probation officer, Frank obtains employment, but runs into various difficulties, not always of his own making.
At the same time he does settle into his digs run by Mrs Mortimer, and the beginnings of a relationship are just visible, even in a loner such as Frank.

4.1 Welcome to Brighton? (1969)
4.2 Divide and Conquer
4.3 Paid in Full
4.4 My Life's My Own
4.5 Case for the Defence
4.6 The Comedian's Graveyard
4.7 A Fixed Address
To Public Eye

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.


4.1 Welcome to Brighton
This is a sometimes moving character study of the problems of a prisoner on parole, and a very lonely parolee at that. A sad portrait of a loner on the very periphery of society.
759413 F Marker, HM Prison Ford, convicted of receiving stolen property is being released on the morrow. Yes, he is going straight, though "once you're in their little black book, you're there for ever."
Mr Hull his probation officer provides an accommodation address, the governor gives a personal goodbye also, asking a few probing questions of his personal life. "Who've you got?" The defensive Marker replies "myself," he's no choice.
Next day the van drives him to the station, the only prisoner on release. A strangely moving scene as he tastes freedom of sorts on the platform. The 42 train stops. An empty carriage for Marker. In Brighton he makes for number 24, in sight of the sea and the pier, where Mrs Mortimer makes him feel welcome. She's a widow.
Savouring his freedom Frank Marker walks along the prom, as he recalls his experiences inside. On the front is Tony's restaurant where he takes soup and a mixed grill. By the pier a tart picks him up, Grace, they kiss, she helps herself to his wallet, and the mood passes.
Freda Jakeman is the wife of one of Marker's few acquaintances inside. He'd promised to look her up, but she's not living where her husband has said. Some of his old inquiry agent skills help Frank to find her quite easily, and the reason she'd stopped coming to the prison are soon evident. Marker's no marriage counsellor and it is she who gives him home truths about being married to a habitual criminal.
From this sad place to Mr Hull and a conversation, a reluctant conversation, that is at first on the general theme of how prison reforms so few. They discuss making friends, that's not for Frank, and the job Hull has obtained for him on a building site. "I'm off officaldom," Frank finally admits
To Public Eye Series 4

.

.

.

.

.

4.2 Divide and Conquer
Slow but absorbing account of Marker's first days at work.
A seemingly unrelated subplot follows two leatherclad motorcyclists (perhaps Thames couldn't afford a bigger gang?), who swindle the owner (Ken Jones) at a cafe by Palace Pier.
Frank Marker is given tea in bed and a cooked brekker, before starting work at Black Rock repairing the sea wall. Then back to his digs and a chat with a defrocked solicitor, but Marker isn't the "sociable" type and it's a rather one sided conversation. But they make for the pub, and there Marker brushes with one of the yobs Harry (Terence Rigby) trying his same swindle on the barman (Norman Mitchell). It ends in a scuffle, Frank Marker winded, but at least they earn a free drink.
Harry and his mate Frank want revenge and attempt to run Marker down. "We'll teach him something."
Next day on the beach the chance comes. It's a bit like, though not a lot, Cary Grant on that desert road as Harry and Frank confront Marker by the lonely sea wall. Harry taunts Marker by eating his egg sandwiches. Marker responds, at a distance, by offering Harry a few tips in a tense filmed scene. Marker tries to put the gentler Frank against the belligerent Harry. "I'm going to fill you in," boasts the nasty Harry. Two years inside, Marker retorts, and that gets Frank's namesake worried. Marker can become more confident now, and even snatches the spade in Harry's hand. "You got a big loose mouth," cries the losing Harry, as Marker's graphic account of life inside frightens off Frank.
The stand off is over. This is a slight story that shows the vulnerability of the ex prisoner, at the mercy of so many nasty types. The final camera shot pulls back from the beach where Frank Marker works all alone, it's a memorable picture
To Public Eye Series 4

.

.

.

.

.

4.3 Paid in Full

Frank Marker is now delivering toilets and is able to collect his first pay packet. In the Lanes area he nearly buys a flash shirt, and then in the window of Fanny's Curios, he spots a porcelain figure that reminds him of his childhood. The kindly shopkeeper, having listened to Frank's singing a hymn to rather changed words, sells the figure to him at a bargain price.
Kenrick, Frank's boss, has bad news. The pay packet of Arthur Wilson has gone missing, and as this is the first time such a problem has arisen, Wilson is pointing his finger at "the jailbird." Dt Constable Brown quizzes Mrs Mortimer about her paying guest and then the unhappy Frank who realises "I'm favourite," as his room is searched. Nothing found, and Mrs Mortimer sympathises with some whiskey in a nice exchange. She opens up a little herself, revealing she's no widow really, her husband simply left her.
Next day at work proves difficult. Though Frank contributes to a fund for Wilson, everyone assumes he is guilty and when the empty stolen paypacket is found in Frank's clothing, he has to be taken to the police station for questioning.
En route, Brown has to stop on the A27 to arrest a young thief Barry who appears to have killed someone.
At the station Brown admits that he believes Frank is innocent. Mr Hull comes to sympathise. But Frank has that sinking feeling, "it's not going to work is it?" he asks rhetorically, "the unclean notice is up."
Barry's case is in the Evening Argus, and Frank talks the story over with his landlady over a cuppa. Jenny, Kenrick's secretary, comes to his digs to offer help, asking if he could provide an alibi. She does recall telling one employee about Frank's record. This clears up the case quickly, and Jenny rushes to break the good news to Frank. Trouble is "people jump to conclusions," and when Frank reports back to work an apologetic Kenrick has to turn him away. Mr Hull tries to calm down the angry Frank, in a very sad finish.
This was clearly a problem just waiting to happen for the ex-prisoner, and the story is told very honestly and sympathetically. You wish Frank Marker could trust those wanting to help him, but at the same time, you know he's not that kind of man

To Public Eye Series 4

.

.

.

.

.

ENGLISH TOWNS - A personal portrait by Alec Clifton-Taylor.
These half hour films are idiosyncratic, self-opinionated yet very intimate and appealing

DEVIZES - where the castle is a "film set". We get a long joke about pebbledash, which he declares is "like porridge." One Georgian house gets the Taylor sarcasm: "but what has our own century contributed to this house? A new roof. Just look at it! These harsh machine-made tiles on a building of this quality are shocking. How any responsible person came to authorise them is a mystery." Obviously in jocular mood, he asks "what would Devizes be without the Bear Hotel? . . And the answer is- wait for it - unbearable!"

BURY ST EDMUNDS - "Georgian elegance." The council offices on Angel Hill are praised faintly: "the building is uninspired but at least well behaved." He looks mystified for a moment by a plaque - "one of a number in Bury which are quite tantalisingly uninformative. Louis Phillipe. Yes, but what did he DO here? Have a cup of coffee?" There are often hobby horses, such as this comment on Suffolk Pink - "the further it gets away from strawberry ice cream the better."

SANDWICH -he particularly admires its roofscape. The climax is the visit to a Lutyens' masterpiece. Even though the guide to Kent dismisses the place, Alec finds plenty to love in it. He returns to his dislike of painted walls and shows us some colours: "strawberry ice cream . . . . vanilla . . . . . weak cafe au lait . . . . French mustard . . . . battleship grey . . . . the aesthetic propriety of whitewashing brickwork is controversial. In general," he concludes, "the better the bricks the less the justification for it."

WHITBY - Woolworths gets the Taylor condemnation but a 1980 supermarket surprisingly gets the thumbs up. After a tour of the church he finds some gems in the town: "a truly ghastly example of what is known as ribbon pointing." His interrogatory style is exemplified in - "did you ever see such a brutal way of treating stone?"

DURHAM - Alec leads us on a reverential tour of the cathedral - "the finest Romanesque building (pause) . . . in the world." His final appearance is at the station where he boards an Inter City 125, first class of course.
To Menu