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Terry Scott had started on BBC tv comedy in 1957 with Scott Free, and by 1962 when this series started, he was almost a veteran. Certainly he had honed his comic persona, and Hugh Lloyd proved an admirable foil for Scott's blustering well-meaning incompetent.
Over 5 years they made 69 episodes, and whilst never a top BBC hit, the programme was cosy, likeable and in many ways epitomised the BBC's skill at producing comedy which really could make you laugh.
In 1968 Scott and Lloyd's new series was Hugh and I Spy, cashing in on the spy craze then in vogue, whilst the next year, now on BBC2, saw their inventive The Gnomes of Dulwich
Terry Scott continued without Hugh Lloyd with these rather awful 'specials'-
Scott on Marriage (1968)
- with Terry Scott, June Whitfield and Peter Butterworth
A generally weak script by a Bryan Blackburn leads to a lot of overacting, but the best sketch is reserved for the last, with Terry trying to be a sixties swinger. And the final comments have a ghastly ring of truth:
An ageing June: "I didn't think much of that, did you dear?"
An ancient Terry: "I certainly did not. If that's what marriage is all about, the engagement's off!"
And that's as good as it gets.
Scott on Travel (1971) - with June Whitfield and Frank Thornton
Dave Freeman was now writing the script, not his finest hour. Some of the sketches include The Neurotic Pilot, The Travel Agents - a song duet, The Highwayman with Terry as a cowardly Captain Fearless,
A Canal Cruise- a filmed interlude with Terry getting soaked, The Hotel Waiter and a satirical Star Trek a la Scott, a musical! RIP
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1:5 (1962) A Fete Worse Than Death-
Last year's traditional church fete made a loss of 6s 8d, so Mr Scott proposes a Pageant of English History this year. But where would the costumes come from?
"If you care to come round sometime, "Miss Chauncey suggests, "you can ferret through my trunk!"
After a lot of debate, and ill-feeling, as "we all do what Mr Scott says we should do," the idea is agreed.
Terry plans the project which will include such famous events as The Murdering of the Princesses in the Tower and The Execution of Anne Boleyn. "Who's going to be the narrator?" ask mum needlessly. "Need you ask," replies Hugh. Yes Terry is organising it all.
Hammy retired actors, Mr and Mrs Smythe agree to take the leads- as long as they can adapt Terry's script. Certainly their declamation suggests they are the part. But when they fall ill, Miss Jenks (Joan Hickson) has to step into the breech.... and the "inescapable conclusion is that we're lumbered with Lloyd!" He plays William the Conqueror at rehearsal. "Can't Norma be queen?" pleads Hugh.
"I fancy a piece of England," the Conqueror announces. "I will conquer them .... Monday." "Mon Dieu," corrects Terry. The scene becomes too drawn out and tedious, with other corny lines around the Magna Carta, with Mr Spriggs (Julian Orchard) a far from fierce baron.
Before the big day, an even older chesnut, as the vicar announces the fete from the pulpit, adding "the preacher next Sunday, you will find hanging in the entrance."
The day of the fete, it is pouring with rain. So it's all indoors for bingo!
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1:6 It's a Dog's Life
Mum is happily singing- "I didn't know I was." Hugh is chewing apples
so noisily that Terry can't complete his Times crossword!
Norma pops round to offer them a puppy. Mum and Hugh both agree, but Terry is, of course, set against it-
"it's a conspiracy."
So, in secret, Hugh brings home a dog and hides it. His first task is to 'borrow' some food, so at dinner that evening
Mr Wormald's liver and bacon is pocketed whilst he's looking the other way. In a well performed scene, when he asks for seconds, Mrs Wormald tells her baffled husband, "I don't think you ought to have any more."
Then up in his bedroom Hugh talks to his new friend Patricia. Which makes Terry in the adjacent room decide "he's delirious...
he's going bonkers."
So he calls in the Crispins from next door to deal with him, and with umbrellas at the ready, they try reasoning with poor Hugh.
"Perhaps he's suffering from magnesia," suggests mum. And seeing him chatting, apparently to himself, crouched under his bed,
her diagnosis seems confirmed.
But then Hugh notices Patricia isn't there. Where has she gone? The possibility of her being lost sends Hugh wild. But
never fear, as Terry calms down and returns to his bed, there's Patricia!
Terry makes Hugh take the dog to the dog's home, but when they emerge, Terry is now the proud owner of two himself
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1:7 Putting on the Ritz (28/8/1962)
"Oh Terry, you're not thinking of working again?" sighs Mum. Admittedly, "unemployed" Terry is "hard to place" but could American Jefferson Freebody offer him a job? To impress this gent, Terry offers to show him round town.
As Hugh has had a pay rise, and Harold Wormold can loan him a dinner suit, Hugh joins Terry for a night at the Carlton. But before they go Cyril Smith as Wormold demonstrates his old music hall routine, ending with Mrs Wormold's classic line: "'s not getting any better!"
Hugh and I announce themselves at the upper crust hotel: "tradesman's entrance is round the corner!" However Terry's acquaintance with dear Lord Popham (Fred Emney) gets them inside at last.
"Lloyd, would you like an aperitif?"
"Yes, has it got any bones in it?"
Other jokes follow, in similar vein, such as:
Terry, ordering: "a fairly dry Martini."
Hugh: "a fairly wet one." He adds: "have you any tripe and onions?"
Freebody and his wife join them for the meal. Terry introduces "my man" Lloyd, who explains "I was born in captivity."
Lord Popham sits through it all, with an occasional arousal from slumber: "try the shrotted pimps."
To Terry's consternation his guests order caviar and champagne, followed by "more champagne" until, with drink freely flowing, Terry is offered the job.
"Anything troubling you?" queries Hugh when the guests have departed. It's the bill for £47 10/-. So the corny end sees Terry's job as peeling spuds, with Hugh opening oyster shells. Is there something inside this one...?
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1.8 Love Thy Neighbour (4/9/1962)
Both Hugh and Terry are hopping around, as they have each lost a slipper. "Perhaps we've been burgled!" But it's only Patricia the dog.
A more serious concern is Crispin's new car. "That pile of junk" has to be parked in front of Terry's house, because of the lines on the road. But really Terry is "eaten up with envy." Says Mrs Crispin:
"We're going down to the coast."
"Brighton?" asks Mrs Scott.
Nothing so common...... Hove!"
Thick smoke from their car drifts in through the Scott's window, and that decides Terry on Action. At 2am he creeps out to the road with Hugh, telling him to paint a line on the road to stop Crispin parking there. "Very pretty," declares the inevitable policeman. "We work for the council," Terry explains lamely.
Next day the magistrate fines each £5. And smoke, whenever that car starts up, is still pouring in through that window. So another scheme- Hugh will buy a car, says Terry, and park it outside the house.
They find a car for sale, owner eccentric Sir Ralph Springer (William Fox), who is selling his ancient Rolls: "a bit big isn't it?!" Terry assures Hugh- "all the better for putting Crispin's bonnet out of joint."
With some difficulty, the car is started, and pours out smoke a la Crispin's car.
Now they are off for a picnic with the Wormolds. The Crispins stand by, rather impressed: "Where are you going? Brighton?"
Quips Terry: "Nothing so common......... Frinton!"
Which one of you is the driver?" asks Wormold, as noone's in the driving seat. They'd overlooked that point!
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2:5 (1963)
Prison Visitor
"Patricia, take daddy into the garden and bury him," shouts an exasperated Terry, at his dog who's happily playing with Hugh. To be truthful, Patricia is rather too frisky for Hugh Lloyd.
For Terry has more important things on his mind. The crime wave for example: "perhaps I can do something in that direction." Being interested in the criminal mind, he decides to
"redeem the fallen."
32439 (Kenneth J Warren) is his first victim. He's in for robbery with violence. "Good morning mate!" begins Terry, spitting on the floor. "I don't believe you're a criminal at all." He offers to help when the six year sentence is run. You could say, it's not exactly a successful visit.
Back home, he bemoans the "cardboard characters in phoney situations," that are on telly, when 32439 enters. He "got out unexpectedly." He forces Terry to change clothes. Says mum to her boy: "I do hope you remembered to put on your clean vest and pants!"
Hugh has been at the shops, and when he gets back, Terry tries but fails to get him to phone the police. "Just watch it fatso," warns 32439. After that Hugh calls him fatso too!
Terry recalls that unreal tv show they were watching. Someone had dialled the cops. "What happened then?" asks Hugh. Adds Terry: "the gangster shot him!" But Hugh is still persuaded to make the call, only mum sees him and asks who he's phoning!
Cecil and Griselda barge their way into the hosue, in order to watch Z Cars. "I would have to choose a nuthouse!" sighs the convict.
Hugh has to go to the toilet, and so uses the chance to speak through the window to Mrs Crispin next door. That brings Mr Crispin round complaining of their "sex mad lodger!" Asks Terry: "have you been disgusting in the bathroom?"
But at least Crispin has phoned the police about the incident. 32439 has to run off, thus when the police enter, they find Terry, in convict garb, and it's him they take away
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2:9 Sink of Iniquity -
BBC domestic comedy at its cosy best.
Terry seems to be a little jealous of Hugh's "improved physique" he's getting with his chest expander. Norma admires him too. "You don't need it," Terry tells her. Norma has popped in to ask to use the phone to contact an electrician.
However as it's only a fuse needs mending, Hugh volunteers to do the job. Terry is soon taking charge. "You can always count on us," he boasts, rather unwisely as it turns out.
The fusebox is above the sink and Terry is soon putting his foot in it, the sink that is, which now needs their attention too. "You can damn well pay for a new one," swears Mrs Crispin. "I happen to be mending your fuse," a goaded Terry responds with as much dignity as a man with a foot through a sink can muster.
As Slocombe the plumber is so expensive Terry promises to install the new sink as "it's only a fiddly little job."
Fatal words. The first snag is getting the unit in through the kitchen door. As it won't, Terry and Hugh carry the sink round to go in via the front door. Pausing for a rest, removal men next door pick up the sink unit loading it on to their van.
After a chase, Terry and Hugh begin a classic conversation at the local police station where the sergeant (Deryck Guyler) jots down the details of this "sink theft." He exhibits all the equanimity of a policeman trained to patiently unravel absolutely any problem, as he asks them in puzzled tones "surely the neighbours would know if their sink was missing?" In a lovely scene, the sergeant at last grasps the situation... he thinks!
"I was mending the fuse," explains Terry.
"Was it an electric sink?" queries the policeman.
"Have you got another branch near here?" sighs Terry.
Finally the sink is returned. Jeers Crispin "Luton's a long way round to go from the back door to the front!" There's more slapstick, almost it seems Terry is Oliver to Hugh's Stan Laurel.
"Next time you can mend your own fuse," concludes Terry, though of course it turns out the fuse wasn't what was wrong. The sink is a botched job too. Result- the Crispins have to eat round at Terry's, Hugh being left to work on the task alone....
"We're going to have to rebuild the whole house!" cries Mrs Crispin. "It's been one of those days," agrees Hugh
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3:7 (1964) Escort Duty -
The good old days when TV closed down for the night. Mum is standing for the National Anthem and won't be interrupted by Terry, who has to wait, contorting his face as it plays: "you squeeze the last drop out of your licence!" He's impatient to phone the Daily Chronicle to confirm he has won their boxing competition. Prize is two tickets for the big fight.
Of course he hasn't won so he searches for a job, so he can get the money to buy a ticket for the boxing. An armed escort with Hugh alongside- that's it! However the agency only wants escorts for two Italian sisters, "sightseeing in the Rolls"- and at £50 each it's a go.
On the tenth floor of posh Crawfords Hotel, they first meet the girls' mother, who interrogates them. Maria and Sophia are "unpinning their heads!" she explains. The boys see they have to impress the lady, so to her remark "we have a chalet in Switzerland," the response is- Terry "we have got one....," Hugh: "...in Skegness." But when the attractive Maria finally enters, her first line "I am entirely in your hands" can only evoke "Phew!" from Terry. They just have to impress. Terry: "I'm Scott of Scotts Hall," Hugh "Yes, and I am Lloyd of London." After more idle chat, assuming the roles of nobs, they bid "toodly pippy," and from Hugh "chinchilla," to get togged up for the night out.
It's a little awkward picking the girls up outside Scotts Hall, as this is Buckingham Palace. As the boys arrive, the girls are explaining to the policeman on duty "we know the owner!" Then they go off on their dates, Terry snoring through a concert at the Festival Hall, whilst Hugh takes the excitable Maria to the Big Fight. Uninspiring
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4:4 (1965) A Brace of Peasants -
The opening scene is in the bathroom, Hugh using Terry's watch as a plug for the basin. Today it's the start of the summer holidays, and each year they have gone to Brighton, for as Hugh says "there's nowhere like Brighton." Retorts Terry; "the only place you ever tried was Hove!"
But Terry longs for something different, like shooting in the Scottish Highlands. "There's nowhere like Brighton," repeats Hugh. But Terry has already booked them for grouse shooting.
So they ask a shopkeeper (Anthony Sharp) for "two bangers." He gets increasingly irritated by Hugh's ignorance. Terry orders the guns and asks them to be sent to his Club. "Which club?" Hugh enlightens him: "the Tooting Bowls Club."
The King's Cross to Aberdeen express sees Terry and Hugh in shooting regalia, as they settle into a crowded compartment. "We're going to bag a few grice," Hugh informs his fellow travellers, who prove, not surprisingly, to be "a touchy lot." Terry scoffs food until the ticket collector (Deryck Guyler) tells them they are in the wrong portion of the train for Scotland.
Their new travelling companions are Lord Popham (Fred Emney) and his wife Sybil (Judith Furse). She asks Hugh about where they are to shoot: "you do realise you can't shoot ad lib?" "No grouse," corrects Hugh, "grice."
Popham invites them to his place.
Next morning Hugh is only half awake, and longing to be in Brighton. In a confusing story, an army training exercise gets mixed up with the shoot. A soldier (Frank Williams) explains his plans to a mystified Hugh and Terry. "What are you talking about?" They decide he's an escaped lunatic.
"Keep an eye on that, will you?" the soldier asks, 'that' being a machine gun. Popham joins the lads and stares at their gun: "is that yours?" He takes charge, leaving the two boys to go to Brighton, and try their luck with the girls there
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Comedy Playhouse
BBC's showcase for potential new series.
1.4 The Offer (1962) - Steptoe and Son's first outing
2.1 Our Man in Moscow (1963)
2.3 Impasse
2.5 A Clerical Error
2.6 The Handyman
2.7 Fools Rush In (see picture)
3.12 The Bed - (1963) Puzzle - how did this warrant being promoted to a full series, Meet the Wife?
5.1 The Bishop Rides Again (1966)- the pilot for All Gas and Gaiters
6.8 The Old Campaigner (1967)
13.3 Born Every Minute (1972, colour)
Galton and Simpson Playhouse
LWT lured these BBC stalwarts to try and repeat their brilliance, only for more money.
The Suit - A lover has his suit stolen, and has to return home in some very unsuitable clothing. His excuses ready, he returns via the toilet window. But the surprise is, the police have
already returned his suit and his wife has awkward questions. The part is just made for Leslie Phillips, but oddly the script avoids his embarrassment at being seen in his hippie clothes
An Extra Bunch of Daffodils (May 1969) - Anticipation and surprise are the essence of great comedy. This black comedy has anticipation, as you can see what's coming almost as soon
as we meet Lawrence (Stratford Johns) at the cemetry where he's putting flowers on the grave of Wife Number Five. There he bumps into rich widow Mildred (Patsy Rowlands) who, after
a whirlwind courtship ends up as Number Six. How does it end up? Well surely you can anticipate that.....
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2.1 Our Man in Moscow (1963) -
A nicely observed vignette of the Cold War. Sir William (Robert Morley) is head at the British Embassy in Russia, and enjoys maintaining good relations with his international counterparts.
However this becomes a trifle difficult, when Whitehall demands he hands in a complaint to the Russians about their fishing off the Isle of Wight.
"Very trying for you," drily remarks his PA man Mortimer (Frank Thornton). What with that, and holding a reception for pop singer Ricky Richards, it's all too much for Our Man.
Then an even weightier problem arises, in the shape of a potential defector, Romanovski. This tuba player (a rather over-the-top Patrick Wymark) demands political asylum.
Why? "I want artistic freedom," the temperamental musician explains. He's not allowed to play Strauss Waltzes- that's what he really wants to play!
Mortimer can see the propaganda value in this defection, though Sir William is more worried about losing his friend the Minister of Culture, who's due to come round for a game of chess.
Sir William makes his decision- he is adamant that Romanovski is not allowed to stay here, leading to his best line, "I can see the headlines now- Hands Off Tuba!"
After some overblown political wrangling, a decision is sought from London, the tuba player allowed to stay pro tem.
Two days on, and the secret police are watching the embassy. No reply as yet from the minister in London, since he's away on holiday.
In storms the Russian Minister of Culture. "We want our tuba player back." He greets Romanovski like a long lost brother, "the orchestra needs you," he urges.
But the demand is still "I want to play Strauss." The minister concedes and the crisis is surely averted.
But back in Britain the press has been feting Sir William as The Lion of Moscow, praising him for his bulldog spirit. So suddenly there's a tussle for the tuba player. Sir William's picture of Britain
perhaps decides Romanovski: "there's so much going on, bingo, television!"
This could be the end of a promising career. Worse follows for poor Sir William: that pop singer has defected to Russia, daddy-o. As Sir William puts it gently, "I have a feeling we may be recalled."
The lugubrious Robert Morley is well cast, carrying a rather wordy comedy with plenty of fine lines
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Impasse
It's a snowy day, as seen on some external film shots, as two cars converge on each other, ending up
bumper to bumper along a narrow lane. "Back up!" both drivers shout.
One is Albert (Bernard Cribbins) with his wife (Yootha Joyce) in his old banger, "a heap of old tin," the car that is.
The other is the stately Charles (Leslie Phillips) with his wife Celia (Georgina Cookson) in his Rolls Royce.
Both drivers refuse to back up, both believe they're in the right and both wives cannot convince their spouses to stop behaving so childishly.
"I know how to handle this type," Charles tells Celia confidently.
But Albert refuses to give in: "you think because you've got a great big Rolls Royce, you own the road."
It's a classic class slanging match, with all the old jokes, yet perfectly performed. The blustering is interrupted by the arrival of the AA man (Harry Locke),
who is called upon to exercise all his years of wisdom to adjudicate. About to side with the upper class, he spots Albert is an AA member, but not Charles. But then an RAC patrolman (Duncan Macrae) drives up to take Charles' side.
Now it's a slanging match, AA versus RAC.
At last a solution is agreed- measure the distance back from both cars to the nearest lay-by. But before this is resolved up cycles "Z Cars," a local bobby (Campbell Singer) who finds technical faults with both vehicles.
However it's Albert's wreck, he pontificates, that must be pushed back for necessary repairs, though Charles doesn't win either, as he finds his destination is actually behind him!
If it all sounds a little tedious, it is, but the compensations are there with a fine study of comic attitudes, and a fine bunch of comic characters
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The Clerical Error
The idea of John le Mesurier playing a conman was a superb one, but Galton and Simpson's
script attempts to develop several sub-plots without satisfactorily settling on any.
Just out of The Scrubs after another three months inside, is a gentle conman (John le Mesurier),
who is welcomed back home by his aged mother (Amy Dalby) with "do try and keep out a little longer this time!"
But he's already "out on business," this vicar, at the local, with a collecting box, asking customers
to "give generously to the house of the Lord." Profuse thanks are offered to all donors, including a tart (Yootha Joyce)
who is curious as to which denomination he represents. "The best of all the others," he replies blandly, adding, "are you interested in theology?!"
"Anything for a laugh," she responds, "you're not like any vicar I've ever met!"
Outside, counting his collection 'Caleb Bullrush' is pleased: "the wages of sin aren't too bad this evening!"
The Hotel Europa, Euston, is where he escorts the young lady, booking in as man and wife. But there's an interruption... A policeman knocks:
"the inspector would like a word with you."
But it's not what the vicar fears, he's wanted in his "professional capacity." A threatened suicide demands his attention, explains the inspector
(Russell Napier). So reluctantly he bids the girl a temporary adieu, with only a hymn book for company.
"Good evening my son, been a funny sort of day, hasn't it?" he begins talking to Watt, the man on the ledge. Biblical quotes from the clergyman are corrected
by Watt before the best scene, done so unhurriedly, as the vicar orders tea and bikkies for two.
"Like Harold Lloyd," a cuppa is brought out. "Lovely view up here." But not long to admire it, for off falls the poor vicar, a hundred feet down into a fireman's net.
The postscript. The Week's Good Cause on Tv. Rear Admiral Sir Brian Grenville Drake appeals on behalf of the
National Fund for Resettlement of Distressed Lighthouse keepers.
A Clerical Error introduces several potentially fine characters and situations (mother, the tart) but they disappear in a rambling storyline
that is really only held together by John le Mes' charm.
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2.6
The Handyman
Post of General Handyman at an exclusive health clinic is filled by Hogg, played by Alfred Marks, who was ubiquitous in early tv comedies, but it's hard to see why he was so much in demand.
Arriving at reception, he learns he is to be treated like the guests, and half a bar of fruit and nut is confiscated, for patients here are on a very strict diet.
Smoking is forbidden. "Where's the machine gun tower?" jokes the smooth talking Cockney.
The clinic is run with a rod of iron by Dr Basil Davidson (Anthony Sharp), assisted by his besotted matron. He tells Hogg he's obese and orders "something special"
for his lunch of 130 calories, "no extraneous stodge."
It's all too much for Lionel Hogg, who starts smuggling food into his cellar for a nice fry-up. However the smell of his cooking wafts upwards, driving one patient, Harris, wild.
"One little nibble," he begs Hogg, when he discovers what's going on. "I'll pay- £1 for a sausage!" Meeting with a refusal he ups his bid to £4. And that sets Hogg thinking.
Harris is soon guzzling food brought in by Hogg, and others soon follow the downward path, "on the move" down to the basement. Soon tables are set, and patients are
enthusing over "the most wonderful meal I've ever eaten."
"They're all putting on weight," cries the baffled doctor. But Hogg is content- he's making a nice profit at his Blue Lagoon basement restaurant. Until there's a raid. "You're fired!"
But rebellion by all the patients yields a compromise- upstairs there's dieting, downstairs there's plenty of food. So everyone ends up happy.
Apart from Hogg, who is now making no profit, so he scarpers off to join a monastery.
A simple pleasant bit of fun.
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2.7
Fools Rush In
This was an interesting if ultimately doomed attempt to create two modern Laurel and Hardy type characters. You feel that perhaps given more time to build into
their role this might have developed well, but as it is, the characters do become more confident as the half hour progresses, but never quite convince.
Patrick Newell is the bowler hatted Bernard (Barney) Kirby and his partner played by Gordon Rollings is
Wilfred Robson. Sacked 47 times, these "blessed idiots" have now obtained positions in the service of the Major (Deryck Guyler). "Nothing must go wrong," Barney warns
his dim assistant as they prepare afternoon tea. Various disasters overtake them, Rollings even attempting a Laurel-like display of tears.
It's The Fishing Trip. The Major's two bumbling servants get the Rolls ready, one clearly frustrated: "keep your silly mouth shut."
But Stan, er Wilfred, gets his own back by driving, Laurel like, right into poor Barney, crushing the major's best boater for good measure.
"It wasn't my fault," cries Wilfred, who adds to his errors by driving off without his friend.
The boys have hired a boat, more "a dirty old tub," actually, but Wilfred' scrubbing down only leads to an accidental dousing for poor Barney.
Water, and wetness, prove the theme of this part of the story. "Another fine mess" to quote. Next in the drink is the major, as Wilfred has removed the gangpank.
"He's nothing but a menace," rants the major.
The best visual sequence is when Wilfred hangs out the major's shirt to dry. The boys have some sort of fun with a mobile bridge, and soon Barney is soaked, again.
"The man is a menace," agrees Barney.
Wilfred is sacked. End of a beautiful friendship. "We've always been together, Barney," cries the pathetic Wilfred, who sadly packs his belongings.
He departs, but, without the gangplank, falls in the water too.
Now there's Laurel and Hardy type pathos as we hear he can't swim. A frantic search in the water, while Wilfred, of course, has
climbed safely back on board. The soaking major emerges from the water and sacks them both. Again.
review from 16mm film
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3.12 The Bed - (Dec 28th 1963)
7am, time to get up. Thora (Thora Hird) hasn't "slept a wink all night" as the bed's "all lumpy."
With their 25th wedding anniversary coming up, she decides it's time for a new bed. Husband Freddie (Freddie Frinton) takes
her nagging with a resigned look of stoicism.
In the bed showroom, with her ever moaning about the way he pinches the blankets, they are shown a "larger extra wide" double bed,
though Thora fancies a twin at £57 10/-. But Freddie prefers the double at a mere £38 10/-.
"Would you like to try for yourselves?" asks the salesman (Brian Oulton).
"What go to bed in a shop!" They do try one with a split mattress: "it prevents you rolling together," explains the salesman.
Thora settles down in it, and buys it.
It's the first night at home with the new bed, to incessant chatter from Thora, who has to check there really are 673 springs; "I can only see one!"
Fred has to get in and out of bed to make adjustments. At last he can settle down with the Greyhound Gazette, but Thora's light's
faulty, so that needs mending. He has more dull misadventures before Thora echoes all our hopes: "let's get settled down."
The weary Freddie announces "I'm going to the spare room." But all is forgiven when she discovers his anniversary present for her, and she
joins him in their old bed.
A really grim attempt, a lifeless comedy
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The Old Campaigner
Written by Michael Pertwee.
Peter Clancy (Derek Fowlds) is "promising material" at work, but not the sort of material that F-J (Terry-Thomas)
needs on his business trip to Paris. It's "hard slogging" for the ill-matched pair.
"I'm sure I shall learn a tremendous lot from you," Peter tells his superior, and in a way he's right. For F-J is
planning his usual fun with the French femmes, but Clancy's scruples put the dampers on. After some uninspiring
debate, Peter reluctantly agrees to tag along. But the first female that F-J phones is "mort," whilst 'Fred' (Nadja Regin) has married, however
thankfully Louise is willing and promises to bring Karina.
Champagne is flowing as the girls arrive, but it's "devastation!" Remarks Clancy: "she's gone off a bit." F-J can only groan
"Gone off? She was never on!" For Louise is his old cook. So F-J feigns illness and the evening is called off.
Now F-J has quickly recovered, he arranges a date at the cinema with Fanny. Tragedy strikes when F-J twists his ankle,
so Peter has to take F-J's place.
He has a fine old time and we next see him chatting up the maid with champagne.
Next morning he's showing F-J a gold cigarette lighter he's bought for the maid, much to F-J's utter surprise.
This is an awfully hackneyed script, which Terry-Thomas does his best with, despite several fluffed lines. However he shows his touch
in adlibbing brilliantly when there's an unexpected crashing noise backstage
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Born Every Minute. Script: Jack Popplewell
Two strangers on a train, first class naturally. Alexander Barney (Ronald
Fraser) of the Metropolitan Oil Corporation has lost his ticket, as well as his
wallet. "I do humbly apologise," he assures the ticket collector, but his kind
fellow passenger Sir Rufus Wright (Campbell Singer) kindly loans him the fare.
And soon Sir Rufus is "eating out of my hand," as Barney, real name Harry, is
telling his partner in crime, Johnny (James Beck), later. Their scheme is to
"show him a bargain and leave the rest to greedy disposition."
But both
these conmen have a weakness... beautiful women. And at their hotel, both are
competing for the blonde Penelope (Juliet Harmer): "what's a pretty girl like
you...?" and other cliches. She seems more taken with Harry, perhaps because he
seems richer. As for Johnny, "he's got about as much chance as Frankenstein,"
believes Harry.
Harry has been invited to dine with Sir Rufus and his
susceptible wife (Mollie Sugden). Flattery is the order of the day: "what a very
nice place you have here." While they enjoy a delicious meal washed down with
the finest wine, poor Johnny has to content himself with ham sandwich and a
coffee.
Sir Rufus works in Hatton Garden and is prepared to offer Harry £500
for his diamond ring. "It can't be worth all that," exclaims an amazed Harry.
Later he has his rendezvous with Johnny at the station, after bidding
farewell to the effusive Penelope. Harry is triumphant- he'd switched the ring
for a fake, and pocketed £500 cash. But where is the cash? His wallet has been
lifted!
"That bird" has conned the conmen, and she's got the genuine ring
too!
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5.1 The Bishop Rides Again (1966)-
the pilot for All Gas and Gaiters.
The script isn't as good as the characters that are created by four master actors, William Mervyn as a bumbling bishop, Robertson Hare as, well, himself, Derek Nimmo as the shy chaplain and John Barron
as the terror of a dean.
A Cathedral windfall- a £60,000 bequest, on condition the bishop reinstates the ancient tradition of a visitation by St Ogg on a milk white horse to donate a pair of white stockings to every chaste maiden, to a total of 40.
The bishop's plan for a happy joy ride in the car is scotched by the dean ("I'm interrupting a festivity of some kind") inisisting that to comply with the will, the bishop must recapture the atmosphere of the middle ages and go in friar's garb.
Noote purchases the stockings from a drapers (a missed comedy opportunity), but a policeman (James Beck) thinks he's acting in a suspicious manner, and the subsequent scene with him questioning the bishop about a purchase of 40 stockings is well executed.
Off trots the bishop, next morning, on his steed, down the high street, lead by Noote. They knock optimistically on the first door. Are you married? - is the phrasing they've finally decided upon. A promising start when the answer is returned- No. But her crying baby withdraws the bishop's gift. No luck in fact all morning,
until a seven year old gives the bishop some hope. But Noote's conscience is a little troubled.
With rain falling, their dreary procession moves onward. Mistakenly thinking the bishop is offering a £30 prize, there's a feeble rumpus with the policeman, ended when the archdeacon drives up with the "getaway" car.
With 39 pairs of stockings left ("the 39 articles") all seems lost, until a fortuitous tour of the cathedral by novice nuns solves the problem. Happily concludes the weary bishop, "it's at moments like this,
one knows deep down, that one is in the right job!"
Comedy Playhouse Menu
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All Gas and Gaiters
Derek Nimmo played 'Noote', The Bishop was the reliable William Mervyn and
Robertson Hare completed a wonderful trio of bumbling but sympathetic clerics, whilst John Barron's dreaded Dean gave some bite to the fun. Also see Comedy Playhouse
The Bishop Gets the Sack (1967) -Not so serious as it might sound, the title refers to the fact that the Bishop isn't up to hosting a TV programme about
St Ogg's Cathedral. The producer (John le Mesurier) then tries out the Dean and Archdeacon, before discovering Noote is a TV natural
The Bishop Sees a Ghost - These days Bishops do keep all night vigils, but do they ever sit up all night with a bag of flour to catch a ghost?
The Bishop Loves His Neighbour (1970 colour) - Exhortations from the Dean about his Good Neighbour Week have the desired effect on the Bishop. He gladly
donates to the Dean his tickets to an absorbing lecture on the Pentateuch
The Bishop Beats the System -"The Cathedral is impregnable," says the Dean. This boast thanks to his new security system. However the Bishop persuades Noote to
hide in the cathedral after evensong to 'borrow' the cloak of St Ogg, which can be used to raise much needed funds
The Bishop Warms Up (1971 b/w print) - The choir have to sleep in the Bishop's palace, which means He has to share with Noote. As Noote's room is right by the new central heating boiler, it gets very very hot.
But worse is in store on the morrow, as the Dean has planned an extra long Music Fest...
The Bishop Entertains- Before the Bishop "filled out" he knew Poppy. He now wants her to open the Garden Party and, more importantly, to propose to her. Best moment is when the Dean and his wife mistake the archdeacon, dressed as an ugly fortune teller, for the bishop's intended
The Bishop Gives a Present - In the best of the surviving stories, the Dean has been seen with a blonde in Bridge Street, and "after ten o'clock!"
In the magazine 'Her' is a letter from "Worried St Oggs." And now Mrs Pugh-Critchley (Joan Sanderson) wants to see the Bishop on a "rather delicate matter." Of course it's all a mistake - blame the Dean for keeping on and on about his silver wedding anniversary!
The Bishop Shows His Loyalty - Jealousy, as the Dean is invited to Windsor to preach his long winded sermon on Anglo-Methodist relations. But whilst pulling down the Bishop's tree, he is hurt, and the Bishop has to preach the sermon. His views are diametrically opposed to the Dean's, but the invitation turns out to be not to the Castle at all, but to a conference of Anglicans and Methodists...
The Bishop Has a Rest - Saturday afternoon, and time for the Bishop and the Archdeacon to put their feet up, but alas, their slumbers are disturbed by the Dean ringing the cathedral bells. There follows a battle for silence in which for once the Dean isn't really the winner
The Bishop Loses His Chaplain - Mrs Pugh-Critchley comes to the palace to watch the forbidden television (forbidden by the dean of course). Ostensibly she's here to chaperone her niece who is being
"entertained" by Noote - in his bedroom. But surely Noote can't need watching?
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Steptoe and Son
A huge hit, we confess to being late converts, though not fans.
1.1 The Offer (1962 Comedy Playhouse pilot) -
Returning from his totting round with a cartful of junk, Harold is slagged off by Albert. It's not just the quality of the rags, it's the way Harold treats the horse,
everything- Albert has it in for his son. He's been having it too easy, says the dad who has to rest at home. Harold is frustrated, he's being held back by his dad, specially with the birds.
It's impressive how quickly the two characters are so quickly established in this first story, even down to Wilfred Brambell's facial contortions, though maybe this
opener is more firmly grounded in the trade than some of their later studies. After this twelve minute scene in the yard, we move to inside the run down Steptoe household. Harold's
unique method of tipping the dregs from wine bottles into half full ones is a classic example of his social aspirations- "I'm a connoiseur." Albert by contrast swigs the beaujolais, even though it's
been accidentally contaminated with paraffin. The inherent pathos surfaces more strongly as Harold leaves his dad for a new start. "I could have been a company director by now!" But his very words show that the longer he
takes over the break, the harder it will be. Out of the gate he attempts to push his cartload of possessions, but it's too weighty. "If I don't go now..." The sad fate of Harold is sealed for the whole series
1.5 The Diploma-
"British Junk for the British!"
An interesting argument about the Common Market and the tunnel give this the feel of a mild period satire,
as Harold and Albert explore the politics of it all in their own way.
The story begins with a nice contrast between the two: Harold the intellectual, reading as he goes totting,
and Albert back home swigging. It's clear business is low: "we can't go on like this." As a study of two
"pathetic" strugglers, this is beautifully written, though I find it too genuinely real to be too funny.
Harold, realising there's no future, has decided to study for a diploma to become a
tv engineer, so whilst he struggles with the intracicacies of thermodynamics, it's Albert who has to do the round with the cart, ringing his bell,
and soon discovering the hard facts about the dwindling modern day rag and bone trade. Yet almost inevitably, Harold is not
up to the mark. What's a condenser for, inquires Albert of his hopeful offspring. Harold attempts an explanation. Albert looks dubious.
Perhaps the main scenes are a little overlong, as Albert points out helpfully "that bit goes there." Suggestion ignored. Fianlly Harold is goaded into
switching on the tv he has constructed, but again, the script is just over elaborated as he reaches the point of failure.
Albert however makes a few quick changes as poor Harold stands by despairing. "Soon get my diploma," mutters Albert as the set lights up: Here Is The News!
Harold admits defeat. To sustain this half hour comedy with but two characters is a fine feat, and it almost works here
3.4 Steptoe a la Cart (1964)
5.7 Men of Property (1970)
6.6 Pot Black
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Our Man at St Mark's
A-R's gentle comedy about a quiet vicar in a quiet parish.
starring Leslie Phillips as Rev Andrew Parker with
Joan Hickson as the housekeeper, and Anne Lawson as Anne Gibson
Music by Gordon Franks. Scripts written by James Kelly and Peter Miller. Producer: Eric Maschwitz
Question-
Name the character Joan Hickson played. Answer
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1.1 "The Facts of Life" (Wednesday September 25th 1963 9.10pm) -The vicar is preparing his harvest sermon with a rather obvious joke on the horizon... "the most difficult thing of all to practice is tolerance," when of course he's interrupted by his housekeeper
and he gets rather ratty with her. But the theme continues nicely through the story as his girlfriend Anne tells him "people think it's funny, people going out with vicars." So she'd like him please not to wear his dog collar at the party tonight. "People don't expect vicars to cuddle!" But he feels he must wear that collar even though "it might inhibit people."
Parishioners are bringing in produce for the harvest. There's some confusion over the two children who do so, Johnny (Kevin Bennett) is called 'Philip' at one point whilst Casey (Gillian Gostling) is introduced by the vicar as 'Tracey'. It's she who informs our vicar that "I'm going to have a baby" but as she's only about nine there's an awkward conversation ahead for Our Man. How does she know? he manages to ask. "A woman knows these things." Further gentle questioning gets to the heart of it all: Johnny must marry her "because he kissed me." Poor Johnny is told to apologise for such behaviour and as the vicar orders him, he realises he also should show some tolerance over that burning issue of the Dog Collar.
Details of the remainder of the four series:
1.2 A Joyful Noise (October 2nd 1963)
Directed by Christopher Hodson.
Reginald Barrett... Mr Donald
Julian Holloway... Mike Daniels
The Classmates... The Scramblers
Kevin Bennett... Johnny Marshall
Clive Marshall... Tom
An attempt to pep up the singing at St Mark's leads to trouble with the
organist. However Andrew, on the very verge of defeat, gets what he
wants in a highly unconventional manner...
1.3 Holier Than Thou (October 9th 1963)
1.4:Side by Side (October 16th 1963)
1.5 A Previous Conviction (October 23rd 1963 9.25pm)
Directed by Geoffrey Hughes.
Warren Mitchell... Joe Meyer
Frank Tregear... Albert
Freddie Jones... George Gregory
Andrew's attempt to give an ex-convict a fresh start in life becomes more
than complicated when Anne decides to take a hand.
1.6 The Man Who Came to Lunch (November 13th 1963)
1.7: The Executive (November 27th 1963)
After seven episodes in 1963 Leslie sadly left, but the
programme was so popular it returned the following year for a
Second series from Rediffusion, starring
Donald Sinden as Rev Stephen Young, vicar of Felgate
with
Joan Hickson returning in her role as housekeeper Mrs Peace,
plus Robbie the dog.
All Scripts were by James Kelly and Peter Miller.
Details of the stories-
2.1 Quite Nice in Amersham (Thursday April 16th 1964 7.30pm)
Directed by Richard Doubleday.
Joyce Carey... Mrs Roberts
Meg Ritchie... Jean
David Hemmings... Bill Palmer
On the day of his arrival, the new vicar finds himself
at cross purposes with the redoutable Mrs Peace.
2.2 The Desk (April 23rd 1964)
Directed by Bill Turner
Ron Welling/Billy Cornelius... Furniture men
Jean Harvey... Mrs Mitchell
Ronald Leigh-Hunt... Mr Mitchell
Karen Lea... Secretary's voice
In his efforts to furnish the vicarage, the Rev Stephen
furnishes himself with a problem... how to repair
a broken marriage?
2.3 Brother Midnight (April 30th 1964)
Directed by Cyril Coke
Patricia Garwood... Miss Thompson
Brian Cronin.... Charlie
Jeffrey Shankley... Pete
Clive Marshall... Dave
Dudley Hunte... Mickey
Tina Martin... Pamela
Ray Anton and the Peppermint Men... Youth club group
A black boy wants to join the youth club, and Stephen
has a fight on his hands.
2.4 The Runaway (May 7th 1964)
2.5 Gillian's Day (May 14th 1964)
Directed by Bill Turner
Patricia Garwood... Carol Thompson (also in 2.8,13)
Maris Tant... Gillian
Arthur Howard... Mr Matthews
Desmond Davies... Dr Farmer
A cat may look at a king- but should a really nice
young lady keep smiling at the vicar in church?
2.6 No Bank for Sid (May 21st 1964)
Director: Bill Turner
David Lodge... Sid Morrison
William Marlowe... Albert
Barry Henderson... Mechanic
Linda Polan... Rachel Morrison
David Rosen... David Morrison
Philip Yardley... Mark Morrison
The vicar decides to buy a car, and meets
a man as unusual as the car he sells.
2. 7 A Question of Tactics (May 28th 1964)
Director: Christopher Hodson
Anthony Blackshaw... Tom
Geoffrey Denton... Mr Barrington
Kevin Stoney... Hopkins
Joe Greig... Jeffries
George Lee... Policeman
£100 is urgently needed for church repairs. Rev Stephen
goes after the money in a manner his parishioners find
somewhat staggering.
2.8 Too Good to Be True (June 4th 1964)
Directed by Bill Turner
Jean Trend... Deidre Bradshaw
John Howard... Thomas
Alan Browning... Alec Bradshaw
Eric Dodson... Mr Frost
Patricia Garwood... Carol Thompson
In which Rev Stephen, after a fleeting dream of champagne
and caviar, deals firmly with a most unusual situation.
2.9 Rainbow's End (June 11th 1964)
2.10 We Do It on Saturday (June 18th 1964)
Directed by Bill Turner
Linda Marlowe,,, Vivienne
John Harvey... Bernard Campbell
Barry Warren... Jeremy
Drama enters the vicar's life, while Mrs Peace has
an adventure of her own.
2.11 Smoke Without Fire (June 25th 1964)
Directed by Christopher Hodson
Frank Seton... Ticket collector
Carol Mowlam... Jennifer
Peggy Thorpe-Bates... Mrs Thornton
Bette Vivian... Mrs Smith
James Bree... Mr Partridge
John Wentworth... The Bishop
Peter Walker/ Anthony Buckingham... Little boys
In which the vicar finds himself the subject of malicious
gossip, with almost fatal results...
2.12 Harry the Yo-Yo (July 2nd 1964)
Director: Bill Turner
Harry Fowler... Harry Danvers (also in 2.13)
PG Stephens... Mike
Hedley Colson... Policeman
Rev Stephen catches a burglar red handed, and leaves
him rather red in the face.
2.13 The Pleasure of Your Company (July 29th 1964, 9.10pm)
Director: Bill Turner
Harry Fowler... Harry Danvers
Patricia Garwood... Carol Thompson
Ursula Hirst... Mrs Thompson
Malcolm Knight... Jake
Norman Hartley... Motor cycle policeman
Thanks to the well-intentioned efforts of Harry the Yo-Yo,
the course of true love very nearly comes to a standstill.
The third series starring
Donald Sinden as Rev Stephen Young,
with Joan Hickson, and
Harry Fowler as Harry Danvers (Yo-Yo - from end of series 2)
(Mr Robertson who played Robbie the dog, had died and was replaced).
The filmed sequences were made at Denham.
3.1 A Funny Thing Happened to Amanda (April 26th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Alan Baulch... Rob Barton (also 3.5)
Graham Rigby... Hargreaves
Anne Woodward... Mrs Hargreaves
Victor Maddern... Mr Burton
Pamela Hewes... Mrs Burton
Humphrey Morton... Chaplain
A most unusual couple seek sanctuary at the altar.
3.2 The Invader (May 3rd 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Gretchen Franklin... Alice Perry
Charles Rea... Frank Perry
Joan Harsant... 1st woman
Nicholas Selby... Brother Joseph
John Blythe... Morris
Raymond Mason... Reynolds
A kill-joy in Felgate? Rev Stephen goes hunting.
(No story May 10th - Party Political Broadcast)
3.3 Four Hundred Years' Thick (May 17th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Francesca Annis... Frances Harding
Karen Lea... Mrs Butcher
Coral Fairweather... Mrs Harding
The vicarage is redecorated, and Rev Stephen in involved
in a problem of love at first sight.
(No story May 24th)
3.4 Objection Sustained (May 31st 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
June Barry... Mary Burton
Jon Rollason... Charles Stokes
Trevor Bannister... Frederick Barret
Pat Connell... Stan Fisher
The eternal triangle sparks off a rather unusual
disturbance in church.
3 5 Storm in a Cocoa Cup (June 7th 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Martin Norton... Anthony
Alan Baulch... Rob Barton
Brian Hayes... Rev Murdoch
Martin Matthews... Rev Marlow
Graham Leaman... Rev Bailey
Rev Stephen finds himself threatened with trades union
action from a most unexpected quarter.
3.6 A Question of Degree (June 14th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Ann Bell... Jane Dawson
Susan Danbury... Jennifer
Mark Kingston... Jennifer's father
Eileen Page... Jennifer's mother
Terry Brooks... Mike
Patti Brooks... Mike's mother
John Nicholas... Mike's father
A go-ahead young lady tries to bring Rev Stephen's
Sunday School up to date with somewhat shattering results.
3.7 Pay Now, Live Later (June 21st 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Terence Alexander... Mr Barrett
Margaret Durnell... Mrs Frost
Freddie Earlle... Mr Fenton
Roy Spencer... Doctor
Jack Bligh... Mr Wilson
Jane Bolton... Nurse
Maurice Peckman... Post office clerk
When Mrs Peace decides to take out an insurance policy,
Rev Stephen finds himself unexpectedly involved.
3.8 Ninety-Nine and One (June 28th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Clive Morton... Bishop
Frank Sieman... Gatekeeper
Anthony Sagar... Bill Taylor
Anne Ogden... secretary
Freddie Jones... Benson
Roy Madron... Paddy
Stephen seeks to increase his flock, and the bishop
asks divine forgiveness for a small but judicious
piece of blackmail.
3.9 Edie's Ace (July 5th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Campbell Singer... Geoffrey Ruston
Helen Ryan... Miss Esdaile
Fay Compton... Edie Russell
Walter Sparrow... Porter
Rev Stephen finds himself involved in a battle
against the new motorway.
3.10 The Galloping Major (July 12th 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Derek Francis... Major Hubert Paxton
Gwen Cherrell... Celia Paxton
The vicarage suffers more than somewhat from the well-meaning
assistance of Our Man from Burma.
3.11 Know Thine Enemy (July 19th 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Brian Vaughan... Insp Gibbs
Walter Hall... Constable White
Jane Evers... Library receptionist
Frank Henderson... Hargreaves
Winifred Hill... Mrs Higgins
Godfrey Quigley... Father Patrick
John Miller... Black magician
The day-to-day problems of a country vicar are complicated
by something unusually serious, an invasion of black magic.
3.12 The Yo-Yo Again (July 26th 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
John Scott Martin... Mr Gates
Victor Brooks... Det Sgt Martin
James Beck... PC Bailey
Charles Cullum... Magistrate
Philip Anthony... Prosecuting solicitor
Our long-reformed sexton and gravedigger, Yo-Yo, suffers
a sad fall from grace, into the arms of a magistrates court.
3.13 Steps to the Cathedral (August 2nd 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Clare Owen... Young woman
Tony Steedman... Archdeacon
Clive Morton... Bishop
Desmond Jordan... Michael Lawrence
Rev Stephen is faced with the problem 'To marry or not to marry,'
and finds himself in a situation which may critically affect his own future.
Series 4 saw Donald Sinden promoted to Venerable Stephen Young,
archdeacon at Lynchester.
With Joan Hickson, and
Clive Morton as The Bishop.
A new dog was introduced- Caber.
Producer: Eric Maschwitz (as series 1)
4.1 The Fall of the House of Lawther (July 4th 1966 9.10pm)
Director: Bill Turner
Michael Gwynn... Rev Michael Lawther
Daphne Slater... Mrs Lawler
Roy Godfrey... Builder
Stephen finds himself with a problem vicar on his hands.
4.2 Love All (July 11th 1966)
4.3 The Peppermint Man (July 18th 1966)
Director: Bill Turner
Peter Vaughan... Rev John Spencer
Martin Wyldeck... Dr Grant
Margaret Ward... Mrs Wells
Dorothea Phillips... Mrs Evans
Denis Holmes... Publican
It transpires that Rev John Spencer is by no means a teetotaller, and Stephen
Young feels himself bound to take strong measures.
4.4 The Silent Village (July 25th 1966 10.30pm)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Same cast as for 4.3
Stephen's attempt to discipline John Spencer is finally brought to nothing,
by the concerted action of the Peppermint Man's parishioners.
4.5 The Talking Machine (August 1st 1966 9.10pm)
Directed by Richard Doubleday
Harry Fowler... Harry
David Langton... Sir Geoffrey Challis MP
Malcolm Webster... Gregson
Jonathon Elsom... Mr Burns
In which Stephen Young becomes involved in local politics, and finds himself
in a battle with the member of Lynchester.
4.6 Night Call (August 8th 1966)
(no Clive Morton)
Director: Bill Turner
Paul Hardwick... Mr Mills
Pauline Yates... Mrs Parry
Tom Watson... Mr Parry
George Cooper... Inspector
A rainy night... a half-wrecked car... and the archdeacon
finds himself having to deal with a most unusual case of the
eternal triangle.
4.7 Holy Yo-Yo
Directed by Bill Turner
Harry Fowler... Harry
Richard Hurndal... The Dean
Eric Chitty... Mr Andrews
Fred Ferris... Mr Jackson
Barney Gilbraith... Man in pub
Karen Lea... Mother
Colin Pilditch... Boy
Harry Danvers achieves his life ambition to be allowed to wear
a cassock, though, alas, not for long.
4.8 Are You There? (August 22nd 1966)
Director: Bill Turner
Peter Copley... Mr Dexter
Kathleen Michael... Mrs Vandervell
Shirley Cain... Mary Dexter
Mary Holder... Woman at seance
Stephen finds himself inadvertently involved in a contact with
Spiritualism. Should Mr Dexter be allowed to ruin his life by
clinging to a contact with the Beyond?
4.9 Cross Your Heart and Hope to Die (August 29th 1966)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Harry Fowler... Harry
Desmond Jordan... Michael lawrence
Janet Hannington... Jennifer (Mrs Peace's niece)
The visit of Mrs Peace's little niece to the archdeaconry almost leads
to a fracas between Stephen and the Bishop.
4.10 Ships That Pass (September 5th 1966)
4.11 My Uncle Oswald (September 12th 1966)
4.12 When Will They Ever Learn? (September 19th 1966)
4.13 There Are More Things...(December 28th 1966, final story)
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It's a Square World
A unique series with Michael Bentine.
Here was Goon-type humour of course, that was certainly influential on the later much cruder Monty Python.
* The Craftsman (D Guyler)/ Holding Up the Queen Mary (cartoon)/ Pretenders to the Throne: King Bert (Clive Dunn)/ Doomsbury Lifeboat/ Dr Albert (DG) and his Instant Breakfast/ The Haunted Castle (model)/ The Art Expert (Dick Emery)/ Olympic Training at Lord Noshing's (MB)
* Dr Albert Dottle (D Guyler) and his tea driven car/ Slobodian Oil Treaty (MB + Clive Dunn)/ The Antique Fakers/ The Brain (DG): crooks/ Kamakaze Beetle (model)/ HMS Incredible/ The Admiral (CD)
* On Westminster Bridge, saluting the flag/ The Ornithologist (Leon Thau)/ United Nations Reporter (Ronnie Barker)/ Cartoon of Benny Lee as he sings/ MB on the Common Market/ French in Schools/ Maggie Fitzgibbon sings/ The Brigadier General (RB)- the zaniest moment is defusing a ticking cello
* Last of series: Viewers' questions/ Headlines/ Assassination of the King of Slobodia/ The Gunsmith (Frank Thornton)/ Aerosols/ A Country House/ Russian Lecture/ Alderman Grimshaw (FT) and the Holiday Trippers' Invasion
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Dickie Henderson Show
To Dickie Henderson Show Research section.
"It really is a happy show," claimed co-star June Laverick. "I expect there are many many husbands and wives who can see the funny side of our domestic arguments. I think this is why the show has been so successful."
7.1 (April 29th 1964) - "A punch on the nose never solved anything," Dickie tells us. But he nearly comes to blows with William Franklyn who has a great part as Greg, ski champion, chess champion, pianist extraordinnaire, lion hunter, in fact champion everything. He has an answer to everything Dickie throws at him: "it must be very stimulating married to a comedian," he observes to June. Dickie and Jack try to "shatter the image" of Greg. Failure until Dickie tries to fake an accident. That fails too leaving Greg free to take June out for a meal. OK, Dickie finally admits he's jealous. But there's a nice punchline as the superman is finally found out.
8.6 (September 13th 1965) - That master of the one-liner Dickie reminds us that "women are like politicians- we don't always agree with them, but we can't live without them." With such sentiments it's no surprise that June is in tears - she's found a 14 year old love letter from Dickie. "Well I can't go round spouting that juvenile mush now," he claims. But to prove he's still sentimental at heart, he gets Jack (Lionel Murton) to help him buy some pearls for June. To repay Jack, Dickie helps him by composing a love letter to Jack's girl friend (Norma Foster), based on his old stuff to June ("the whole world was filled with warmth and light") and sending 3 dozen red roses. June discovers Dickie has sent her flowers and finds out
he's gone to see her and so thinks Dickie must be chasing after this girl. In a nice scene, she confides her worries to Jack who dreaming of his girl tells June the girl is "the most beautiful doll I've ever seen," which makes June even more upset. She overhears Dickie in conversation with her saying "beautiful, you've got just what I've been looking for! Shall I take this off now?" Of course the misunderstanding is sorted out and June gets her cultured pearls.
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Arthur Haynes Show
Arthur was a huge hit for ATV. Although most internet sites state that he made fifteen series and over 150 shows, which ran from 1957 to 1966, a convention we follow here, Arthur did also make
some earlier shows, his very first being in February 1956.
From April to June 1956 he starred in Get Happy with the immortal Nicholas Parsons, Maria Pavlou and Ken Morris. Joan Savage also appeared.
Others in the first show on 24th April were Four in a Chord, Malcolm Goddard, Josephine Gordon, Jane Kimm, Judy Collins, and Sylvia Herklets (later known as Sylvia Francis).
During October to December 1956 Haynes starred in The Arthur Haynes Show, presented by George and Alfred Black. Ken Morris was again featured alongside Joan Savage. Malcolm Goddard,
and the George Mitchell Vocal Group also were in the show on 17th October.
Neither of these series ran every week, but they were Haynes' first starring series on television.
Reviews of a few surviving shows:
(from series 4 maybe, 1959) with Aileen Cochrane and Harry Jacobson (piano). Nicholas Parsons plays a "hit and run motorist" and a vacuum salesman, Arthur then plays a camp tailor.
(from series 6- screened 1960) with Aileen Cochrane singing round the theatre. As well as a short sketch of Arthur's married life ("if he's not home by 8 I'm leaving him"), there's 'Candlelight' a tv expose of dodgy garages - and with Arthur as the mechanic, there's
plenty to expose. A more substantial offering is the typical conflict between a snooty Nicholas Parsons who is complaining to Arthur about all his shoddy workmanship redecorating his home. Arthur's absurd excuses get NP in more and more of a lather.
11.1 (possibly- December 1962) In the opening show in a new series, a fascinating intro as Arthur congratulates the thin audience for turning out on such a foggy night. He has one scene with Nicholas Parsons
as a solicitor who is looking into Arthur's alleged noble connections. Then he plays a burglar teaching new boy, Michael Caine, how to do it. Guest: Yana
11.3 (possibly) December 22nd 1962 A Christmas Special with Wendy Richard. Also in a sketch with Kenneth Griffith, Arthur plays a tramp feeding off the dustbins outside the Ritz.
12.2 (January 11th 1964) with the Dave Clark Five - a classic show with AH at the peak of his powers. In the first sketch, NP is a doctor in a first class carriage, being pestered by AH.
Then the two tramps report to the police (NP) the theft of fourpence ("fourpence!"). NP picks up Arthur's mispronounciation of "Mission Hut" like a real pro.
With Arthur's sudden death in 1966, ITV were deprived of one of their top comedy shows. The nicest contemporary little tribute I have seen was this, "how Ealing will miss that white sports car of his,
and that happy smiling face at the wheel."
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The Army Game
Thankfully the surviving shows have all been released on dvd. Mixed reactions to the series nowadays, nostalgia
certainly, poor scripts certainly, but just a few treasures, definitely.
Question- I think this is a tough one! Name the girl who closed and opened the canteen door before and after the advertising break.
Answer
The programmes below are listed in the order given with the Network dvds. However I have added some dates given in TV Times, which did sometimes give incorrect information, which may suggest a different running order.
However TV Times often also failed to indicate the title of the story or provide anything more than a generalised cast list, so it is possible the Granada archive is the more reliable source here.
1.7 The Mad Bull (1957) - a gorgeous ten day break in the South of France is offered to the army's smartest, most proficient men. Hut 29 suddenly become so proficient Sgt Bullimore is puzzled.
He decides Popeye is "off his chump" when he sees him chatting to a non existent girl, though he's supposed to be practising his French.
A muddled scene follows between William Hartnell and Geoffrey Sumner that is beautifully performed, ending up with the major thinking it's the sergeant who has gone mad. So he calls in a psychiatrist (Frank Williams)
1.13 The New Officer -Lt ffinch, "a right Charlie" is put in temporary charge at Nether Hopping and finds Hut 29 "a bally disgwace."
Can he make them "A1 toppers"? He vainly attempts 'Fire Dwill,' but ends up wegwetting it of course. Anthony Snell as ffinch enjoys a lovely part as the upper cwust officer, despite the odd fluffed gag, though it's a pity the
comedy ideas rely so much on corn and slapstick
2.1 WRAACS - three extra beds are needed in Hut 29, but it turns out they're for three army girl privates. Some mice nearly get them evicted, and 'nearly' sums up this story which never quite exploits the situation, despite
Sgt Bullimore being half propositioned by his opposite number
4.1 Snudge and Jimmy Goblin (1959) - A lucky mascot brings Snudge good luck as he becomes richer than "the dreams of average."
In a slow starting story that gains momentum, Flogger convinces him the mascot is now cursed
4.2 Take Over Bid (advertised for Nov 13th 1959)- Farmer Harris offers £200 for the redundant Nether Hopping Camp, so Flogger invents the Happiness Universal Trust which offers £1,000.
Brig Stubbs' brother in the City (William Mervyn) offers £2,000 and soon offers are at one million. The rival bidders meet at a most unusual board room conference, presided by Mr Bisley
4.3 Enter a Dark Stranger (advertised for Oct 9th 1959, first week of transmission for this series)- This must have been intended as the first of this series, for we are introduced to eager new recruit Dooley, whom the "monster" Snudge places in Hut 29,
thinking he will improve them. But is he rich? Flogger and Botosie think so, then Snudge starts greasing up to him. But he ain't, and somewhere along the line the script misses the thread of the first good idea
4.4 Snudge's Budgie (advertised for Oct 16th 1959)- A feeble script
in which Bisley gives Snudge's budgie its freedom, leading to the moribund Snudge mourning his loss, "gone and never called me father"
4.5 Where there's Smoke (advertised for Oct 30th 1959)
4.6 The Camera Never Lies (advertised for Oct 23rd 1959)
4.7 When the Poppies Bloom Again
4.8 Miracle in Hut 29 (very probably shown Dec 25th 1959)- Flogger gambles the £20 kitty for the Children's Christmas Party... and loses. Hut 29 have to construct their own rather amateurish gifts, while Snudge and Pocket vie for the role of Santa.
At the party, with lots of enthusiastic teenage extras, here comes Santa, "silence you 'orrible lot!" Other equally unlikely Santas appear, but then the real one, with real presents, and all
ends aaah, so happily
4.9 Night Train to Itchwick (advertised for Nov 20th 1959)-
Snudge joins the same express train as the
lads, who are returning to camp without passes or tickets.
Eric Barker as the ticket inspector as well as Snudge chase the miscreants up and down the corridors,
so much so that Bisley's "nerves get goose pimples"
4.10 Officers and Gentlemen (advertised for Nov 27th 1959) -
'Major Bisley' has fallen for the delightful Penny (Thelma Ruby), so has to resort to elaborate substerfuge as "the contempary Valentino"
showing her round 'his' camp. Her ex-fiance interrupts a cosy tea, "Penelope, envelop me!"
4.11 Tiger Bisley (advertised for Dec 4th 1959)
4.12 Bisley Court Martial
4.13 Long Walk
4.14 Happy New Year
4.15 The Invisible Man
4.16 The Bowler Hatting of Pocket
4.17 The Soft Life
4.18 Son of Snudge - One of the best Army Game stories. Snudge returns from a psychology course having picked up new
disciplinary ideas. Here's an enjoyable parody of 60's culture as he's no longer, argues Bootsie,
"all lovely and orrible." Instead the amateur psychologist scolds his charges, "you've been naughty boys!" The lads look on rather blankly.
His new approach is allegedly based on that eminent psychiatrist "Fred," and Hut 29 have never had it so good as Snudge
tries to be like a father to his men.
To teach him a lesson Bootsie deliberately behaves like a five year old (not a difficult job for him)
as he goes to Snudge's home as his "son." Mrs Snudge (Marjorie Rhodes) fawns over him and 'daddy' tells him a goodnight story in a
magnificently surreal scene as Bootsie lies in bed cuddling his teddy and his puppet doll that closely resembles Snudge.
With mummy and daddy away at the pictures (a nice little take off of cinema making fun of tv only in reverse),
Flogger enjoys celebrating Bootsie's sixth birthday with a lively party with nice grown up girls.
(Arthur Mullard is one of the guests)
4.19 A Rocket Called FRED - Fanshaw's Robot Explosive Device, destined for Woomera, ends up at Nether Hopping, and it's "terribly dangerous."
Cpt Pocket's lecture on the rocket is little help for the lads who are ordered to fire it: "what's that ticking noise?"
4.20 Don't Send My Boy to Prison
4.21 A Piece of Cake
4.22 Never Volunteer
4.23 A Marriage Has Been Arranged
4.24 The Good Old Days
4.25 A Question in the House
- Over-the-top story of an MP (Donald Morley)
who investigates cruelty that Hut 29 have written to him about.
But, as that "fiend in human shape" Sgt.Snudge demonstrates, they make him look "a
proper nana". Perhaps that's one thing an MP is capable of
4.26 The Claude Snudge Story - In this take-off of This is Your Life, Paul Carpenter plays 'Enoch Anderson' the host, relating Snudge's life story. The basis is his autobiography which has "not witheld no punches." His old headmaster praises him as "the
cleverest boy I ever taught," until he realises he's talking
about Snudge, who he concludes, was "unteachable"! A policeman calls him a "lazy layabout," and Col Jack Scarface Howard relates the day Snudge threw grenades at him. No wonder Snudge describes telly as "invented to fill the minds of vacant idiots... the screen of Satan"
4.27 April Fool
4.28 Goodnight Ladies
4.29 One of the Lads
4.30 Holding the Baby
4.31 Penpals Anonymous
4.32 Are You Receiving Me?
4.33 The Efficiency Expert
4.34 Bull By the Horn - Bootsie is given the job of sounding reveille at 6am. By 9.30 all is still quiet....
4.35 A Touch of the Other
4.36 The Feud
4.37 Out of This World
4.38 Emergency Hut 29
5.1 The Return of the Pig (1960) -
Opening story of the final series about Cynthia, the major's pet pig
5.3 The Do-Gooders - Hut 29 is in the dock for gambling. Cpt Pocket
pleads with the magistrate: "they come from a broken hut."
Brother Catchpole sees the light after hearing the testimony of Geoffrey Hibbert. The
others decide that "if you can't beat em, join em." Except the suspicious Sgt
Bullimore
5.4 The Marshall's Baton -
As part of his education lecture, which Hut 29 are ordered to "enjoy," Cpt Harbottle brings a field marshall's solid gold baton. Major U-B
puts it in his safe, but it ends up in his golf bag and even the pig swill.
Best line: Awakening late from sleep, Catchpole sees Sgt Bullimore: "Marilyn, you've changed!"
5.5 Insurance -
The visit of a newspaper investigating unhappiness in
army camps, means all charges are suspended
5.6 It's in the Book - The major gets a shock when war memoirs by Major General Duffy Allington describe
him as apathetic. He resolves to give up whisky and even Cynthia.
"Alas, poor Cynthia, I knew her well," and other nice parodies of Shakespearian lines follow.
Hut 29 have "gone to rack and ruin," and he tries to impose some discipline. To return things to normal Hoskins starts
Operation Cynthia, in which the poor major believes the late Cynthia is haunting him.
However his credentials are partly restored when fire officer Col Savage (Ballard Berkeley) is impressed by Hut 29's
very unorthodox fire drill in which he is covered with sand and foam
5.7 Waltzing Matilda
5.8 The Kindest Man in Britain - Hut 29 unwittingly
nominates Sgt Bullimore. He has to change character just a little!
Sergeant: " I'm cold and horrible."
Major: "You are the kindest man in Britain, that's an order!"
The Smiling Sergeant Major reads the newspaper headlines, as a news reporter (Keith Marsh) describes him "like a father to Hut 29."
TV cameras record this unique phenomenon as an interviewer (Geoffrey Palmer) follows the Kindest Man around. His cover is blown when off camera he
vents his true feelings, screaming "I'll roast you alive!" A masterpiece
5.10 (probably) Officer Material - Nice story of a directive sent asking for officer
material. Somehow the lads
get nominated and end up court martialling the poor old sergeant (William Hartnell)
5.13 The Artist - The Education Officer (Brian Oulton) arranges an Art
Class which Hut 29 try to join for their own devious ends.
To make it look genuine, Catchpole has to try and paint the sergeant.....
"Bootserella" - a panto from January 1960 showed in the variety series Chelsea at Nine - with Bill Fraser as an unlikely Fairy Godmother,
Ted Lune as Prince Charming, and George (Skyport) Moon as Buttons. Also appearing Harry Fowler as the Mirror on the Wall, and Marion Ryan. Alfie Bass is the unattractive Bootserella who marries the gormless Prince
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Bootsie and Snudge
Alfie Bass and Bill Fraser starred. Clive Dunn played his archetypal old man, Johnson, whilst the Hon Sec ("Tup Tup") was my favourite character! A pompous review of the first story (transmitted 23rd September 1960) claimed the scriptwriters "base all their visual - and most of their oral - gags on various forms of disability. No doubt this will have those who liked The Army Game falling over themselves
with laughter. For myself I can only abhor the state of television comedy when it cannot rise above childish jokes and inane innuendoes.... there is very little to be said about Alfie Bass and Bill Fraser - they are obviously good businessmen
otherwise they wouldn't agree to appear in a programme that lowers the standard of television comedy as much as this does." Anyway, what do critics know? This first programme came second in the national TAM ratings!
1.5 A DAY OFF (21 Oct 1960)- Off on a staff treat on the Romney Marshes there's topical conversation en route on the inefficiency of the railways and speculation such as did Yuri Gagarin have a corridor on his rocket?! A "nightmare" journey in the cold ends at Appledore in the sidings- "we've been shunted!" Out into the blizzard and a walk through the snow to their deserted destination, a fascinating set of railway tracks at a cardboard station
1.8 BLACK THURSDAY (11 Nov 1960)- It's Bootsie's day to clean the front steps. Interesting opportunity for several ageing actors to talk to him - can anyone identify them?
1.13 BATH NIGHT (16 Dec 1960) - Friday Night is time for Snudge's weekly bath, but tonight "pop" goes the geyser. So he has to use the hip bath with Bootsie and Johnson in attendance. So how come he is still bathing in it after dark, outside the club's front door?
1.16 THE HAIRDRESSERS (6 Jan 1961)- Big Harry (Arthur Mullard) slips Bootsie £1 to "stick up your nose". When the horse wins Bootsie has to have a close shave
1.18 LOST LORD (20 Jan 1961)- Normally it's Snudge who takes Lord Hathaway to the park "the high spot of his day." But even though "he don't know the 'ighway code" Bootsie is ordered to take him today.
There he finds romance but loses his Lordship in Soho. Inconsequential story
1.24 POT BLACK (3 Mar 1961)- Bootsie needles Snudge into a snooker game- Tup Tup joins Snudge whilst Old Johnson 'helps' Bisley. A lot of "jiggery-pokery" in this dull interlude
1.35 THE PIANIST (19 May 1961)- Bootsie admires a bust of famous pianist "Lipst" (Liszt). "Put a 10 gallon hat on 'im," adds Snudge satirically, "and 'e looks like Maverick!" This is a touching character study by Barry Took and Marty Feldman
of a retired concert pianist called Anton Borovik ("and His Harmonica Rascals?"! queries Snudge). Anton is trying to practise for a comeback, but whilst Bisley plays Chopsticks for him, it looks as though "he don't want to play no more."
Some nice sequences as Old Johnson sings at the piano, then Mr Montague Bisley dreams of his own concert prowess as he plays "Nocturne in Opus 2 by Lipst in Flat B." Then Snudge, who believes "in hiding my light on in a burning bush" shows Bootsie
the way with his hearty rendition of "Ain't She Sweet." After this interlude, since Bisley has some strange "rappaport" with Anton, he tries to give him confidence to play at the grand concert....One of the classics of the series
1.37 PEONY DAY (2 June 1961)- June 2nd is a flag day and the guest star Honor Blackman encourages generous giving
1.40 BACK PAY (23 June 1961)- "Is there something in the wind?" Bisley reads regulations governing Old Johnson's wages, which is strange as for all these years he's not been paid anything in cash: "justice will be done." Having engaged a solicitor (Keith Pyott) the Hon Sec explains that it is Snudge who is actually responsible for Johnson's pay. He'll have to have £5 a month deducted from his pay, but as Bootsie owes the solictor's fee of 20gns and Johnson has to pay all his back tax, no-one's happy: "this is a terrible injustice!"
2.18 PUNCH UP AT THE IMPERIAL (22 Feb 1962) - The club needs "livening up" so cricketer Rev Pennyfather (Barry Took) brings his club, actually a youth club for a tournament of billiards, ping-pong, darts, boxing and even dancing
3.17 BEING NICE TO BOOTSIE (7 Mar 1963) - Frothing, that's what Bootsie is doing- it's distemper decides Snudge, though later he equates it with some disease of camels.
The doctor prescribes Be Nice to Bisley, the result being an attempt at slapstick, with flour and eggs
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Glencannon (1957)
39 films starring Thomas Mitchell about old seafaring Glencannon, Chief Engineer of a freighter which has adventures in every port around the world. But most of the filming was done at Elstree.
Patrick Allen was co-star, whilst other regulars in most of the stories were Barry Keegan, Charles Carson, and Georgie Wood as Svenson the ship's cook. Several others had occasional roles, including John Gabriel and Lally Bowers.
"When I have seen them, my life will be complete," promised the widowed mother of the original creator of Glencannon, Guy Gilpatrick.
What did she utter after seeing them, I wonder.
For the reception the series got was generally unimpressive.
"Imagine my horror," wrote Guy Taylor. "I suppose one must admire the producers for attempting a series with humour - but the result is like a soggy cake which simply refuses to rise.
It lacks inventiveness, production idea and the script is appalling."
This critic had seen the first story screened on A-R London, which was 30 "Love Story."
Anyway, with a verdict like that, it was back to the drawing board for Gross-Kassne Ltd.
However, today this is something of a curiosity, for it was a rare attempt to put a tv comedy series on to film.
Originally there was no canned laughter, but some prints were later re-edited to warn you when you were supposed to laugh.
If nothing else, Glencannon included some fine performances from guests such as:
Richard Pearson in Double Double Deal and Trouble,
Jon Pertwee in the title role of Champagne Charlie,
Jack Train in Man with a Mermaid,
John Laurie as the late Mr MacCrummon in The Loving Cup,
Alfie Bass in The Ancient Mariner,
Sydney Tafler as The Masked Monster,
Irene Handl in Three Lovesick Swains of Gibraltar,
Warren Mitchell in The Yogi of West Ninth Street,
Rupert Davies as a Russian in The Ailing Turtle,
Arthur Lowe as The Mean Man of Genoa and
Reginald Beckwith in The Wailing Lady of Limehouse.
14 The Masked Monster -
Newspaper headlines read "Masked Monster - Another Victim".
Glencannon's nephew Duncan (Percy Herbert) has taken up wresting as the above named character, and he's so good he's bound to win.
So Glencannon bets on him, so of course he loses, but even worse injuring poor Glencannon. He is suffering so much that he threatens to sue Daninos, the owner of the ring (Sydney Tafler).
This is another scheme doomed to failure, but Daninos persuades him to do some smuggling for him. Glencannon however has other plans:
"Everyone gets what he deserves in the end," he pronounces philosphically.
17 The Rolling Stone - On his birthday in Tangier, Glencannon is depressed because he's nearly broke and his 108 year old Uncle Jock
(Tony Simpson) shows no signs of dying. "If he doesn't die soon, there'll be nothing left to inherit." At least, his two
cousins, Duncan (Percy Herbert) and Douglas (Rufus Cruickshank) are tricked into signing over their share of any fortune.
Thus "he feels wonderful" on board ship as he looks forward to seeing Uncle Jock again. "A bolt from the blue," a villager tells Glencannon when he gets near home.
He assumes it's death at last and buys a tombstone for the old boy. But the prices of the dealer (Peter Maddern) at the Milngavie Junkyard
moderate his transports, and he purchases for ten bob a rusty anchor. How about this epitaph?- "Here rots the bones of Jock Glencannon,
Whom grim death from us took..." However it turns out Jock only nearly died, and he believes a bird has saved his life. So he's altering his will in favour of
the Rehabilitation and Retirement Centre for Stray Birds! But Glencannon is not going to be "cut out of my inheritance for a suicidal bird," and he puts a macaw
into Jock's home which promptly chews Jock's pound notes. "I'll no be changin' me will," cries an angry Jock. But "it's love at first sight" for him,
in the storyline we'd always anticipated. He's to wed an even older lady who claims to have the secret of everlasting life
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World of Wooster
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The BBC's triumphant success in bringing the PG Wodehouse stories to life,
starring Ian Carmichael as Bertie and Dennis Price as Jeeves.
It would be unfair to compare the series with the later more lavishly made LWT masterpiece with Fry and Laurie, but this Michael Mills production has its own period style and moves at a lively pace. Carmichael was much better than I had remembered as the rather stuttering Bertie Wooster, whilst Dennis Price surely had the finest role of his career.
The Delayed Exit of Claude and Eustace -
Bertie's cousins Claude (Timothy Carlton) and Eustace (Simon Ward) have to "pinch things to get elected" and so it comes about that Bertie is given the caps and a topper they have snaffled.
An unfortunate time for teetotal and general all round kill-joy to call, Sir Humphrey ("janitor in some sort of loonybin"). He's rather irritable today, as someone had snatched his hat, and even more annoyed when he spots said article on Bertie's hatstand. Bertie had wanted to keep in his good books as he's after the fair Marian, Sir H's daughter.
Aunt Agatha (the wonderful Fabia Drake) is proposing to ship the errant Claude and Eustace off to SA and requests, or rather orders, Bertie to look after them until their ship departs.
2am and the three are out on the town! Claude finds his "soulmate" whilst Eustace also meets his "affinity", and both are named Marian! With love in the air they simply cannot emigrate, and adopt disguises to avoid detection. Marian becomes "worn to a shadow" with their attentions- it's more than time for Jeeves to don his thinking cap!
Next day Bertie awakes to a "pip pip" from Claude. He's straight off to SA. "Cheerie-bye," adds Eustace- they're both chasing after Marian, who they understand is going to SA. Or at least that's the impression Jeeves had given them. Effusive thanks from Bertie.
Indian Summer of an Uncle (surviving fragment) - Mrs Wilberforce (Beryl Reid) is a guest at Bertie's dinner. "Hello you old crook," she breezily greets Jeeves. Bertie's other companion is Lord 'Piggy' Yaxley, who turns out to be an old friend of the good lady. "Like deep calling to deep," they happily exchange details of their ailments just like "a sick parade"
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The Larkins
This ATV comedy ran for 6 series with a total of 40 programmes starring
Peggy Mount as Ada, David Kossof as Alf.
The rest of the family were Eddie (Shaun O'Riordan, late of Emergency Ward 10, and later to become an ATV producer),
Ruth Trouncer as Joyce, married to son-in-law Jeff (Ronan O'Casey).
Next door neighbour Myrtle Prout was played by Hilary Bamberger. However it was Hetty Prout, played by Barbara Mitchell
who made a bigger impression.
Scripts were by newcomer Fred Robinson, Bill Ward was the producer.
Review of the only programme to have been revived on tv:
1.6 Ale and Farewell (October 24th 1958) - Alf has been "inaugurated," and Ada gets
"a nasty feeling." Alf having promised to sign the pledge if he ever gets tipsy again,
Ada resorts to "weapons of war," doctoring his drinks. At the height of the booze-up, in drops the vicar...
Brief details of the series (the good news is that this first series is being released on dvd):
1.1 Wide Open House (Friday September 19th 1958, 10.15- 10.45pm) - (no Barbara Mitchell)
1.2 Gun-In-Law (September 26th 1958) - with Warren Mitchell as Maxie Green
1.3 Cat Happy (October 3rd 1958)
1.4 Angry Young Man (October 10th 1958)
1.5 Telly-Ho (October 17th 1958) - with George Roderick as Sam Prout
1.6 Ale and Farewell (October 24th 1958) - George Roderick,
Charles Lloyd Pack as Rev Spoonforth, Fred Robinson/Eddie Malin/John Scott as The Fluids drinking group.
1.7 Christmas Special- Christmas with the Larkins (Boxing Day 1958, 10.15pm)
Series 2 was as before, George Roderick now a regular cast member.
2.1 Strictly Confidential/ 2.2 Teddy for Eddie/ 2.3 Haul for One
/ 2.4 Gift Horsepower /2.5 Total Welfare / 2.6 Very Important Parent
(February/March 1959, Fridays at 10.15pm)
Series 3 had the same cast. Alan Tarrant was the producer.
3.1 Home Win (Monday February 8th 1960, 8pm) - with Wilfred Brambell and John Salew.
3.2 All the Answers (February 15th 1960) - with Shaw Taylor as himself
3.3 A Fiddle in Froth (February 22nd 1960) - with Jack Newmark,
Brian Dent, Colin Douglas and Bernard Monshin
3.4 Come Cleaner (February 29th 1960) - with Rex Graham, Peter Whitmarsh,
Brian Franklin, and Charles Lloyd Pack (as Vicar- recurring character)
3.5 Stranger Than Friction (March 7th 1960)
3.6 (March 14th 1960)
series 4- 4.1 Unlucky Strike /
4.2 Little Big Brother/ 4.3 Gamblin' Fever/
4.4 Frightful Nightful / 4.5 Match or Scratch / 4.6 Well Turned Warm
(September/ October 1960)
After a long break the programme returned for a fifth series.
Peggy Mount and David Kossof continued to star, with Barbara Mitchell the only other survivor.
Hugh Paddick played Osbert Rigby-Soames.
Alan Tarrant continued as producer, Dicky Leeman directed.
5.1 Cafe Ole (Saturday November 9th 1963, 8.25-9.00pm- some regions showed it at 8.10-8.50pm)
5.2 Teenage Terror (November 16th 1963)
5.3 Darts and Flowers (November 23rd 1963)
5.4 Help Wanted (November 30th 1963)
5.5 Beatle Drive (December 7th 1963) - with Peter Murray as himself,
Annette Robertson as Judy, Hugh Walters, David Jackson,
and Willi Payne
5.6 Trading Stampede (December 14th 1963)
5.7 Strained Relations (December 21st 1963)- Ronan O'Casey returned for this story, still as Jeff. Also with
Hugh Walters, David Jackson, Willi Payne and Derry Power
5.8 Saloon Barred (December 28th 1963) - with Hazel Coppen,
Norman Chappell, Derry Power, David Jackson and Willi Payne
The final series was in the summer of 1964, main cast as for the fifth series.
6.1 Saloon Barred (Saturday July 11th 1964, 9.45-10.20pm)-
with Willie Payne, Derry Power, and David Jackson
6.2 Celebration Blues (July 18th 1964)
6.3 Gypsy's Warning (July 25th 1964)
6.4 Finders Keepers (August 1st 1964) -
with Willie Payne, Derry Power, David Jackson and Frank Hawkins
6.5 Counter Attraction (August 8th 1964) -
with Andrew Crawford as Joe Mackenzie,
Toni Gipin as Jeannie, Willie Payne, Derry Power, and David Jackson
6.6 Dizzy Rich (August 15th 1964)
6.7 Country Style (August 22nd 1964) - last ever story
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Mr Digby Darling
An early black/white series from the new Yorkshire TV that saw Rag Trade combatants Peter Jones and Sheila Hancock reunited.
This series however saw them as happily married-to-the-job boss (Roland Digby) and jill of all trades, secretary (Thelma Teesdale). Well at least, he's wedded to a lazy office life in slippers, whilst she sees to his every need, unfulfilled. The whole thing's really made by the ever reliable Peter Jones' whimsical touches.
1.1 The Efficiency Expert (January 6th 1969) - "Another Monday morning, thank goodness!" declares Digby as he arrives for work. Thelma is celebrating "ten happy years together," but it won't be for much longer if Chambers the new Efficiency Expert has his say- "before you know it, cccckkkk, you're redundant." But if Digby believes he's "got nothing to fear," he's a born optimist!
1.2 The Facts of Life - In the hands of Digby, the Slugdown publicity is "tear jerking nonsense about slugs being the gardeners' best friend." But poor Digby is confused as he is supposed to be teaching son Dominic the facts of life. After Thelma helps him by inquiring about the book "Childbirth Can Be Fun," in a splendid scene Mr Trumper somehow thinks Digby is to be a father again: "just because there's snow on the roof, that doesn't mean the boiler's gone out!"
1.4 The New Secretary - It's time for Thelma to be "upgraded" to the Sixth Floor at Executive Level. Parting of the ways is a wrench until Digby is introduced to Thelma's replacement, the shapely Betty (Wanda Ventham)
1.6 Drunk and Disorderly - Roland's wife has been away so last night he let his hair down. Now he's got to appear in court. "Rid-o-Rats's Bonnie and Clyde" have to invent yet another excuse for the afternoon off. Then it turns out boss Mr Trumper is on the jury. All of which gives Peter Jones the chance to offer a snatch of Sidney Carton's Farewell Speech
* The Evacuee - "Mr Digby is a living saint," declares Thelma. But not when a colleague is being billeted in his office. "It will be a bit of a squeeze," admits Mr Trumper. Gladys 'Ma' Lightfoot (Marjorie Rhodes) is an old acquaintance: "time's done the dirty on you," she tells Digby. There's only one solution- move her, but where to? How about "the old folks' cleaning room" in the basement? But it's Digby and Thelma who eventually have to find new accommodation as they end up working in the cloakrooms
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George and the Dragon
Sid James met his match in Peggy Mount in ATV's series which ran from 1966.
Perhaps Keith Marsh as Ralph the gardener enjoyed his finest moment, whilst John le Mesurier vainly battled to keep the peace between George... and the Dragon
Series One
Series Two
Series Three
Series Four
Funniest moment in the series: 2.7 when George ends up with his date- The Dragon.
Dud episode: several, I'm afraid, perhaps 1.4 Night Night Sleep Tight is the corniest.
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George and the Dragon - Series One
Series 1: 1 George Meets the Dragon (19th November 1966)- The arrival of Miss Gabrielle Dragon, enough to terrify any mere man, chauffeur (Sid James) included
2 The Not So Tender Trap- Whoops! After a night of boozing George ('Kingsley') has proposed to Miss Dragon, and what's worse, she's accepted!
3 The Unexpected Sport - With the colonel's leg in plaster, George is volunteered to play polo at Windsor for the Waterlilies. Naturally he places a bet on the opposition
4 Night, Night, Sleep Tight - Inconsequential effort about George and the Dragon alone at night, with the Colonel and Ralph away. Bumps in the night etc etc
5 Royal Letter - When Gabrielle sends an Xmas card to the Duke of Edinburgh, it's nice to get his reply, except it's a forgery typed by George and signed by Ralph....
6 A Merry Christmas? - After present giving, the four disperse to friends for Christmas. But George's intimate season with Irma (Yootha Joyce) is a frost, so he returns to the colonel's to find everyone else there too. The end is stolen by three young carol singers
To Series Two
George and the Dragon Menu
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George and the Dragon - Series Two
Series 2: 1 (20th May 1967)- This could be described as a tragedy when George breaks Gabrielle's treasured heirlooms, her mum's old records. She decides to say farewell, but at the bus station cafe, first George then Ralph and finally The Colonel each persuade her to return- to the amazement of a lorry driver (John Junkin) who's trying to chat her up himself
2- It's Sunday morning with George and Gabrielle discussing religion, in a way that just wouldn't be done these days. There's £1 on it that the 'Black Sheep' won't be dragged by the Dragon back to the fold of the church
3- Has Gabrielle a French man in her room? Not quite- she's trying to learn French since she's won a trip for two to Paris. George accompanies her on a panic ridden flight
4- Gabrielle requests George shows her "how to do it." When George realises she actually wants him to teach her how to drive the Colonel's Bentley, he has to agree when the colonel orders him to do so. When she bumps into the car of the Chief Constable, George gets his own back by convincing her she'll be sent to prison
5- Sonia Dresdel displays a fine comic touch as Priscilla, an old friend of the Colonel's. A battle of wills between her and Gabrielle is the highlight of this, the best of the series. "Dartmoor is a holiday camp" compared with her new regime
6- Men have greater willpower than women, argues George. To prove he's quite wrong Gabrielle proposes they both do without food. After two days both are wavering. This is familiar stuff, but in the hands of experts, it's quite palatable
7 - George is Aries, Gabrielle Virgo, as they check their horoscopes. Why not seek their destiny through the Confidential Friendship Bureau? It's run by gushing Brian Oulton, in a superb little cameo. George asks him- "what have you got in stock?" You can easily guess that George is going to finish up with Gabrielle as his date, but there again, it's awfully well done
To Series Three
George and the Dragon Menu
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George and the Dragon -
Series 3:
1- (6th January 1968)"England Expected, and I did," explains Gabrielle. It's Dinky Dragon's army reunion, and she tricks George into thinking that one of her mates (Julia McCarthy) was the victim of Rumpo Russell's wartime romances
2 - After a picnic, George and the Dragon have to spend the night sharing a room. They end up in the dock, and look who's on the bench- the Colonel!
3 - Harpers Department Store (A bit of ATV nostalgia there!) is offering a £10 tv in its sale, "first come, first served." George is first in the queue the night before, but will that stop the Dragon?
4 - Lots are drawn by George and the Dragon to see who wins the continental holiday. The bigger cheat wins. After which George hides in Miss Dragon's bedroom to discover her secret hidden in there. It turns out to be her own giant bikini!
5 - Missing here is the setting of the Colonel's house, and also much fun, as George and the Dragon attempt to travel by train to London. They have a topical rant against British Railways: "Beeching must go!" when their train to Waterloo is axed- but as they're filmed at Welwyn North they should have been making for King's Cross! Peter Howell gets the butt of their complaints and Tom Baker has a brief filmed role as a humble porter
6 - Tracing her family tree, the Dragon decides she's related to a French duke who went under the guillotine in 1783. George plays along with her, 'discovering' his portrait, which is really a copy of The Laughing Cavalier with a few crude additions
7 - Pay Day Parade, but George gets nothing, in fact he still owes the colonel seven and six! He decides to raise some cash by buying, with the Dragon's £20, an old banger and then selling it for scrap, at a profit. Unfortunately it's the colonel's Bentley that's carted off to the scrapyard crusher, causing Miss Dragon, in a fit of contrition, to get "religious mania"
To Series Four
George and the Dragon Menu
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George and the Dragon -
Series 4:
1 - I'm Backing Britain campaign means dock leaf tea and seaweed cigarettes at the Colonel's home. It's enough to convince him and Sid and Ralph to smuggle in brandy, garlic and fags, but the Dragon will have none of it, so they resort to a surreptitious midnight 'beano' in the greenhouse
2 - Gunners' fan George is ejected by a policeman (Geoffrey Palmer) from the West Ham cup tie. But the Dragon procures a ticket for the replay for both of them
3 - Birthday presents for Miss Dragon, but has George forgotten? No he seems to have remembered with a lovely fur stole. But it's not really for her, only left over from George's night on the tiles, and George hasn't the guts to tell the Dragon. Then the owner Sandra returns to claim it
4 - "Help yourself to brandy and cigars," the expansive colonel tells George. Gabrielle has told the colonel that George has only days to live, in this so familiar storyline, but it's good to watch how some old pros get the very most out of it
5 - This week's misunderstanding- Gabrielle Dragon is having an affair with Ralph the gardener! Actually it's only Ralph who has named his "tose," a cross between a tulip and a rose, after Gabrielle. Whilst quite enjoyable, the script never exploits the full potential of this fun situation
6 - George is really and truly in love with the fair Angela, but sad to say her father, the brigadier (William Kendall) opposes their marriage. So George announces himself at her window, to elope, but only ends up with a black eye. The series ends however on a happier note, for now Miss Dragon is in love- with the brigadier!
George and the Dragon
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THE RAG TRADE (BBC)
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The acme of corny vulgarity, with Peter Jones, Miriam Karlin, Reg Varney, Sheila Hancock.
1 (1961) Ritz Plaza hotel is the venue for Fenner to meet his American client but unfortunately the slacks he brings are "bullet proof." A more entertaining scene is when the staff have to impress said American by posing as French workers
2 Terry Scott plays a buyer for golliwogs the girls have made on the side. To impress him they divert Fenner to the police station, so they can ply the buyer with drink. Rather tiddly they are, when Fenner returns...
3 A rush polka dot sample means Reg and then Mr Fenner have to look after Brenda's baby. All very predictable, but the best laugh is when Sheila Hancock has to model the dress which is not quite finished
4 Carol's wedding dress has to be made up from material for Fenner's urgent order for Arcadia Fashions
5 After lateness at the impossibly early start of 8am, Fenner decides to install a clocking-in system which means our workers start getting short pay, so Paddy organises a bet on a dead cert, leading to lots of subterfuge as Fenner seeks to impress an important buyer. The nag wins the race, but Lily loses the betting slip in one of the new dresses, which leads to them all being ripped apart right in front of the boss, but such, er, conscientiousness, appears to impress the buyer!
6 It's that familiar "Everybody Out!" after Fenner proposes an automated snack machine. Worker sabotage results in some well worn slapstick until Lily discovers buttons can be used in lieu of shillings. So when Fenner belatedly agrees to the machine's removal, it's Everybody Out again
7 With Fenner running a temperature of 102, first Nurse Lily then the other Brothers attempt a quick cure. In his absence they design a new dress for a tv star using metallic paint to make it shimmer. Not a success!
8 Fenner must have a sample ready for his client by 3.30, but Carol has borrowed it during the lunch hour in order to impress her sailor boy friend. Now it's 3.30 and she's still not back!
2.1 (1962) Fenner's payment for the electicity bill is diverted to the staff's new one armed bandit, but though he is drugged, a Mr Basset still cuts the power off, whilst a drugged Reg attempts to impress a client
2.2 Fun at the salon of haute couturier Norman Digby (Patrick Cargill) when Lily's doggy Dinky loses Fenner an important order. The staff try and flog the £100 dress at their own fashion parade, to one of Digby's artistocrat clients
2.3 - An outbreak of staff sickness can be traced to handsome Dr Blake (Noel Trevarthen), though it leads to the arrival of the factory inspector, who thinks Fenner is running a sweatshop
2.4 - New factory inspector (June Whitfield) is the receipient of a number of unwelcome surprises
2.5 - After overtime on Paddy's birthday, Mr Fenner's empty flat is ideal for a party. He returns home unexpectedly to find the aftermath of an orgy.
But his mother-in-law (the towering Fabia Drake) finds Fenner there and she demands explanations, which he quite fails to satisfactorily provide
2.6 - Reg shaves Fenner, then poses as a Chinaman, as the girls earn extra cash by running a laundry
2.7 - Rehearsals for the Fenner Fashions Concert Party. Hugh Paddick and Ronnie Barker also appear
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Telegoons (1963/4)
A partially successful resurrection of The Goons in visual form.
2.6 Tales of Old Dartmoor (April 1964)
Prison stocktaking. Number of prisoners- "run completely out of them!"
Thanks to Moriarty it's soon chock full again. Then for a holiday, the prison is moved, bricks and all to France, to the Chateau d'If
where there's a race to find a treasure. The prison sinks in the sea which is why, allegedly, now on
Dartmoor is a cardboard replica
Comedy Menu
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Benny Hill
Whilst Benny developed his comic style into one of innocently vulgar double entendres, his early comedy is more mainstream.
The Mystery of Black Bog Manor (1962)
This mildly amusing pastiche of the genre has Benny Hill appearing as Rumbold of the Daily Bugle, whose reporting assignment is to interview Colonel Wittering about his collection of diamonds.
When our hero reaches the windswept lonely mansion, he is greeted with suspicion by the colonel's bland nephew (Graham Stark), though the best part is Patsy Smart's as Miriam, a bundle of nerves, who warns Rumbold "I do hope you're the last!"
For it's clear there's dirty work afoot at the manor. The feet in the bed that disappear, and the bearded stranger who grabs all Rumbold's food. And who is dancing the can-can, at 3.30 in the morning? "There's something funny going on here," notes our reporter with all the corn he can muster, "and I mean to get to the bottom of it."
Script: Dave Freeman. Length: 25 minutes.
The Lonely One
Superb take-off documentary narrated by Alex MacIntosh, about a "misunderstood young man" Willie, Benny Hill as an overage teenage delinquent, but several other roles as well. 7 minutes
Comedy Menu
Dinosaur TV Comedy / Variety
