The Bicycle (May 4th 1961)
At this stage of the series, Harry Worth tended to still be trying just a little too hard, the rounded character of a bumbling endearing innocent not fully realised as yet.

Outside Harry's house stands a seemingly unwanted bicycle. His landlady Mrs Williams (Vi Stevens) doesn't know anything about it, so Harry puts it in the shed for safe keeping. Mrs W admires Harry's brainpower, surely a unique moment?!
Robinson and Hargeaves deal with Harry's problem. Mr Robinson (Anthony Sharp) is the unlucky solicitor to sort it out. "Have no worries, Mr Worth," he beings confidently. Soon of course he is wondering why Harry has come. It's a police matter, that's his best advice. But Harry has already written to the chief constable. So thanking Robinson, Harry leaves him a shilling. Mr Robinson looks rather unwell.
Back home, a policeman (Ivor Salter) is making enquiries about the missing bike. There's a slight confusion until Harry realises the bike belongs to the policeman. Seems rather asking for it to leave a bike just lying around, to me.
Harry's first task is to retrieve the evidence- the letter to the police. He finds the postman (Sam Kydd) waiting at the letter box, rather unusually he's early and is waiting for the appointed time to clear the box. The postman is mystified why Harry is standing around there also, in a nice little scene. Harry is waiting to retrieve his letter, the postman baffled why Harry doesn't post his letter. Time. "You're too late," cries the postman. "I'm not too late." But opened, the discovery is made that Harry's letter isn't inside anyway.
Early next morn, Harry calls on the police chief (Wensley Pithey). He asks a long winded question about people stealing not realising they are stealing, and then the mail is delivered. Three years, that's what he'll get for this, pronounces the chief constable. Harry looks worried, until it's clear it's not his letter. A "raving lunatic" is the next letter writer. But for once that's not Harry either. Then we come to Harry's. It contains Mrs W's shopping list. "This is marvellous," smiles Harry. He rushes home, and surreptitiously returns the bike to the nick, leaving it just under the poster about a stolen bicycle.
"I'm free," he shouts, as he gets home to Mrs W. But is he?- a man has followed Harry to kindly return that bicycle he had left behind

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The Holiday (May 11th 1961)
Mr Lloyd, travel agent, is so pleased to be back at work after a refreshing holiday. Jovially, he tells his assistant Charles, "you mustn't let trivial things get you down."
Cue Harry. How will the happy boss cope with him?
Where's the bus station, asks Harry. Further inquiry reveals he is off to Monte Carlo. Sensing a good customer, Lloyd patiently explains the ropes. Has Harry got his passport? No! If he can get one in time (those must have been the days), there's a flight this evening. Mr Lloyd helps Harry fill in the application. "Have you ever been called anything other than Harry Worth?" Confides Harry, "Dimples." "Have you any special peculiarities?"....
Next task is to get a photo taken. Rodney Price (Ronnie Stevens), already highly strung, takes the snap. "Mr Worth, you must keep still." While Rodney develops the picture, Harry deals with a valued customer, Lady Cartwright. To check it out, Harry asks Rodney, switching on his light.
"I was in the dark," protests the photographer.
"I was a little confused myself," adds Harry.
Armed with his photo at last, Harry is off to The House of Commons to get his MP to certify his passport. Johnson, Member of Parliament for Woodbridge (Ballard Berkeley) is a busy man, so Harry quickly explains, "I want you to certify me." It's the first time he's ever been abroad. Patiently the MP queries how he can be sure Harry is who he says. Harry has it- laundry mark TK512 on his shirt. Aah, replies Johnson, comprehending at last, TK512 belongs to Harry. No George Conway, elucidates Harry.
After frustrating our MP, Harry gets the signature. "Bon voyage," ends Johnson. "I wonder what that is in French," asks Harry who kindly promises to vote Conservative at the next election- only a pity our MP is Labour!
Mr Lloyd is waiting for the overdue Harry to give him final travel plans. The government only allow you to take abroad £250. "Very generous," says Harry, who tests his French on the exasperated manager.
With his beret, Harry books in at the airport customs. The officer (Reginald Marsh) asks for the passport. It's in the green suitcase. That contains cornflakes and other items on the breakfast menu. Finally the passport is found as Harry is explaining how to smuggle items on his return. Amazingly he's allowed through, then Reginald Marsh has a nice line as the next customer approaches, "Any cornflakes, kippers....?"
On the Riviera, Harry sunbathes. No it's the Isle of Man, he took the wrong plane. Having a whale of a time.... with nice Mr Lloyd who had needed another rest

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The Request (May 18th 1961)
Harry' s at the foyer of the BBC Television Centre, congratulating the Commissionaire on the Army Game. "The other channel," he's informed a little coldly. (In fact this series had finished by this date anyway!)
"Did you get my postcard?" Harry inquires. He'd sent in a request for Houswives Choice to be played tomorrow. It's auntie's birthday. "What's the title?" It's a pity Harry can't remember what it's called, he tries humming it. A passing pianist, thinking Harry is here to audition, sends him to Studio 6 where Mr Beaumont (Edwin Apps) patiently prepares to hear him. "I'm going to sing," Harry says. Next question, "what's it called?" Harry doesn't know. A frustrated Mr Beaumont leaves. Enter another aspirant, as Harry is whiling away the time singing Are You Lonesome?
Wandering round Broadcasting House, with the Commissionaire vainly searching for him, Harry stumbles in to the Weather Forecast. John Snagge is handed Harry's message, with greetings to auntie.
Briggs (Raymond Rollett), the Housewives Choice producer, explains the difficulty of acceding to Harry's postcard, for he gets 700 such requests each day. A frustrated Harry vows to take his complaint higher, to "Eamonn Andrews himself." In fact he somehow gets to the Director General who is at his desk listening to the Commissionaire's report on his search for Harry. Harry listens in. "I've badly been wanting to meet you," Harry is told. Such chaos has he caused, that it is agreed to grant Harry's request. So what is the title? Yes, it's the Woody Woodpecker Song. Harry is satisfied.
Next morning, 9am, Harry is back with the Director General, to check his tune is on air. Just as it begins, the programme is interrupted, for a gale warning

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"The Medals" (June 1st 1961)
Returning to his old barracks is Harry, he joined up in 1942 and has now come to collect his medals that he never received.
RSM Butler is the man to deal with Harry, "you been sworn in yet?" Mistaken for a recruit, Harry is directed to the recruiting office and a grateful Harry proffers him a tip.
Before he can join, Harry has to be given an intelligence test. "Seems a rather strange way to get a few medals." Intelligence- nil, reads his report. After a word association test, Mental Coordination- nil. Next a pile of bricks against the clock, Adaptability- nil. "Sure you wouldn't like to join the navy?" No, so Harry signs up. "When do I get my medals?"
Once all that is sorted out, Harry is off to the Records Office to see about those medals. An examination of his service record, once a lance corporal, and how he got demoted. His file is indeed bulging. May 1944- missing. Yes, Harry is entitled to medals, but it needs the approval of his commanding officer.
He is now the brigadier here (Anthony Sharp), a busy man. While Harry waits for him, he answers the phone. How's the weather? Harry says it's OK so "the balloon's going up."
Enter the brigadier. "I still can't place you," he confesses. Harry explains he was his batman... for a fortnight. Then it dawns, "you were the lunatic...."
Still one, for as the balloon has gone up, the practice battle area is a mess. "It's just like old times," sighs Harry blissfully. But it seems "our civilian was a deserter," Harry was never demobbed, so he now faces a court martial. But at least he can now have those medals
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The Voice
Mr Barnes runs a tv shop, but he has one customer he could do without. Every week Mr Harry Worth comes to the late night opening, not to buy, but to watch the serial Murder At Midnight.
Barnes does attempt to persuade Harry to buy a tv set. Anything for fifty shillings, Harry asks. No, but he is promised a demo set for £10. Meanwhile, Harry settles down to watch this week's episode of the serial.
Installing the set is Fred (Sidney Tafler), "happy viewing," he offers Harry as he readies to depart. But there is just a slight problem. For some reason a radio taxicab is interfering with reception. So on to the roof to check the aerial. Next scene is Fred with his head bandaged.
Harry complains about the taxi firm to Mr F West, Telephone Engineer. He starts enthusiastically dealing with Harry's problem. "I want a taxi," Harry begins. A puzzled Mr West asks where Harry is going to. Nowhere is the response. Finally Mr West grasps the difficulty, it's because Harry lives near the gasometer. Patiently he demonstrates how the gasometer is inbetween the transmitter and Harry's home. "Let's try again." In the end he can only offer the suggestion that Harry contacts the taxi firm.
Harry is kept waiting at their office, and as he does so takes calls from the taxis. Then he is sent to talk to the taxi drivers. Joe (Michael Brennan), he's the guilty driver.
Back at home, Harry is watching this week's episode of the serial, alongside Mr West. Harry has solved his difficulty....
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The Plant
Harry is talking to his plant, a present from auntie, Mrs Prendergast. "Why do you wilt?" he asks it sadly. The reason is patently obvious, for as landlady Mrs Williams remarks, Harry's room is like an oven.
Harry however thinks more compost is required and orders it through the post. The postman (Geoffrey Hibbert) delivers the mail, and he too remarks the place is like a furnace.
Harry decides to consult Greenfingers of Gardening Weekly. He travels by underground from Watford Junction. A helpful porter (Patrick Newell) asks him where he is going to. Greenfingers, Harry answers. That confuses the poor railwayman.
Finally Harry reaches Greenfingers' office, actually he's named Bishop, and Harry shows him his plant. "Oh dear," only one leaf left on it. Bishop is rather puzzled so eventually suggests Harry try at Kew Gardens, only "you musn't mention I sent you."
His roundabout journey is via Watford Junction, "miles out of your way," the porter warns him.
When Harry does reach Kew, it so happens the oldest specimen of giant Mexican creeper is being packed up to be exhibited at an important International Conference. Harry is mistaken for the man from Gardening Weekly and his plant is taken away in mistake for the creeper. Professor Lawson interrupts Harry watering the real creeper. He imparts secret information on this rare specimen before Harry takes it away.
At the Conference poor Lawson unveils his masterpiece, "the moment you've all been waiting for." It still has one leaf. But back home Harry is much happier for the creeper is growing at a fantastic rate, making Greenfingers simply baffled
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The Birthday
It's 9am, and Harry's waiting for the postman. He shoos Mrs Williams away, for it is her birthday. He hopes Simpson's Shoes have sent her present, but to double check he phones them. He speaks very quietly so his landlady can't hear.
Just then, a knock at the door. By the time Harry has brushed away Mrs Williams so he can answer the door, the postman (Geoffrey Hibbert) is trying round the back door. Harry opens the front, noone there. After a few more door openings, Harry persuades the postman to join in Happy Birthday. Mrs Williams bursts into tears. But it's not her birthday.
Yes, Harry has got it wrong again. He returns the slippers to Simpsons asking them to exchange them for aunty's size, it's her birthday. Wilson, an eager assistant (Edwin Apps), finds Harry trying on some Wellingtons, but Harry explains he's only here for slippers. Kindly Wilson measures his size, eight and a half. But there's no sale, he had made an assumption.
Then another confusion at aunty's. She's out so Harry climbs in via a window. Our old friend the postman delivers the mail and again they sing Happy Birthday when they hear her coming in. But it turns out only to be a policeman (Ivor Salter). Harry is able to prove who he is all right, but the constable knows for a fact that aunty happens to be away in Bognor Regis. And bad news, he is sure it's not her birthday.
Back at Simpson's there's another exchange of slippers. All join in Happy Birthday- to Harry
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The Overdraft

Wilkins is the replacement bank clerk, for Mr Penrose has been called up for jury service. Enthusiastically Wilkins greets his first customer, Harry Worth. Soon it's apparent why Penrose is glad to have gone.
Harry produces an assortment of tins. He has to deposit three pounds ten shillings. So far so good. Then he wants to withdraw three pounds ten shillings. Wilkins is mystified. It's to pay his housekeeping bills. Wilkins quickly passes Harry on to Mr Osborne the manager, who deals with his worst customer with all the patience gleaned from years of this sort of thing. "It's easy to see why they made you the manager."
But there's bad news. Harry's account is in debt to the tune of ten bob. The manager cites the quotation from Mr Micawber. Harry promptly writes a cheque for ten shillings. That cannot be acceptable, so Harry has got to find the cash.
The chance to save money at his local supermarket! You get sixpence with each toothbrush, so twenty toothbrushes will net him the money. Elsie the cashier (Gwendolyn Watts) explains he has to pay for the goods first. She fetches the manager Mr Carter who produces other special offers for Harry. "I've saved over seven shillings already," beams Harry. But he gets a rude awakening when the time comes to settle up with Elsie...
Back home the coal merchant (Michael Balfour) is refusing to offer Harry any similar special bargains. Eighteen shillings and eightpence is the cost of the coal, "would you accept three packets of cornflakes?" tries Harry. It's because he has no money, "Mr Carter's been helping me to economise." Others want their payments due also, insurance agent Peter (Joe Gladwin) as well as the window cleaner.
To get the cash Harry returns to his bank, where Mr Penrose is back, though Harry has spread the word round that he's been in the dock. So Harry's glad Mr Penrose "got off."
Patiently Mr Osborne deals with the request. What security can Harry offer? Only his watch, and that's not good enough. So after admonishing him, Harry tries kind Mr Carter who generously takes back some of the groceries Harry had purchased. "There are still a few of us gentlemen left," Harry tells him.
Now Harry can pay all his bills, though that overdraft with Mr Osborne he pays off in Christmas puddings

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The Last Train
Sad to admit, this is one of the poorer stories by Harry Worth.

Highlane Junction, steam loco 42352 puffs in. "Merry Christmas," greets the alighting Harry, this being in the days when trains ran on Christmas Day.
Porters Tommy (Reginald Marsh) and Wilf (Harold Goodwin) can't wait to get home, but like Harry, they'll have to wait, for the Woodbridge train will be 45 minutes late. In the porters' room, Harry attempts unsuccessfully to cheer up Tommy (and us).
Harry is dispatched to the waiting room, empty until a policeman (Tony Melody) pops in. He kindly lends Harry 6d to get a packet of aspirin from a vending machine. Somehow "the lunatic" soaks poor Tommy.
Next caller at the waiting room is a sailor whose kit bag Harry had accidentally taken off that train, he gets quite excited when he loses it a second time.
To warm up the waiting room, Harry borrows some coal from the tender of the steam engine, but the policeman catches him and reports him to Mr Carter, the stationmaster. In a spot, Harry calls Mr Robinson his solicitor, who's none to happy being awoken, as he is unwell. After hearing the sorry tale, he prudently advises the railway staff put Harry on the next train home.
Another kit bag Harry finds, the same one actually, and he hands it in to Tommy. The angry sailor missing his bag yet again, finally confronts Harry, "I'm sure I've seen you before somewhere." He has, but before he can ask more awkward questions, luckily in puffs the Woodbridge train.
Final scene, the station about to close for the night, but no... in walk Harry and the sailor- in their hurry they'd stupidly caught the wrong train

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To Be Called For

All is quiet at the railway left luggage office. Bert (Bryan Pringle) is happy chucking parcels around until, "I'm here to find out what I've come for." Thus Harry Worth, about his Great Uncle Gilbert who has bequeathed Harry something, he's not sure what. He knows it is called Penelope. A pet maybe? The patient clerk attempts to locate Harry's consignment, but it's a bit hard as "we don't know what we're looking for." "A new experience," Harry is, decides Bert at last, as he brings in an enormous crate. "It's a camel." Yet it is not breathing, maybe it's stuffed.
She turns out to be a veteran car, HS25. Can Harry drive it? Switch it on.... "Shall we try priming her with methylated spirits?"
No luck, so Harry is pushed out of the office and pushed downhill. It is just bad luck that at the bottom of the hill is an AA Centre, bad luck for patrolman Simpson. Harry seeks advice. But is he a member? Patiently the benefits are outlined. "Are you sure you want to join the AA sir?" the embattled Simpson questions at last, the RAC is a good alternative. But he does admire the 1904 car, "goes back a bit." Quips Harry, "it doesn't go forward very well." This is a pleasing scene between Harry and Edwin Apps, which gets even better after Harry leaves with thanks, a new member. His first task is to phone for the AA's help from an adjacent call box. Simpson is a little puzzled as to why his colleague on the spot hasn't seen to Harry's vehicle. I could call him to the phone, Harry offers fatally.
So Harry is back at the AA centre to ask Simpson to talk with his colleague. A lovely moment, as Harry holds the line in the AA centre while Simpson goes to the nearby phone. When he reaches there, Harry tells him down the phone, "I am not who you think I am."
The matter somehow resolved, Penelope is filled with a gallon of petrol and off Harry happily drives, to get muddled up in the Veteran London to Brighton Rally. Some nice musical hints of Genevieve add to the pleasure.
Then Harry drives into the rear of a delivery van. A Railway delivery van.
"I've spent all morning trying to get rid of this," cries poor Bert. But what can he do? What can Harry do? He phones poor Simpson of course

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2.2 "What Ails You?"
Irascible Mr Varley (Norman Bird) receives a green new hospital visitor, one Harry Worth. "Cheering people up," is this do-gooder's aim, though asking whether Mr Varley has "written home to mummy," is not the most successful ice-breaker. It is indeed Harry's first day visiting, and his question "are you really as ill as you look?" is not exactly comforting.
A doctor explains Varley has an allergy, "will he have to have it out?" queries Harry.
As it might be like hay fever the doctor orders an old geranium to be removed, "be dead in a couple of days," he observes to the nurse. Harry overhears and of course misinterprets. "Have you made your will out?" Harry next asks poor Mr Varley, "any last requests?" plus other poignant comments.
Mr Varley's last remark is, "I don't want any flowers."
An odd interlude, presumably to fill up the time, is Harry's next short visit, to Mr Russell who is completing a jigsaw. With Harry on hand, it is soon in ruins.
Next day Harry is back, but as a patient. He has caught Varley's allergy. Varley himself is preparing to be discharged, so when Harry is wheeled into the ward, the bed is empty. Harry fears the worst. "Soon be over," the doctor soothes him, but Harry finds it anything but. He phones his neighbour to let her know he's going away "indefinitely." Plenty of nicely executed semi-black humour as Harry is asked, any forwarding address. "One of two places."
Then amazingly Varley comes back to the ward. "Have you been and come back?" asks an incredulous Harry. Finally the doctor explains the mix-up and Harry can now see the funny side. There's a nice finish as the relieved Harry tells Mr Varley he had just sent Mrs Varley his condolences
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A Policeman's Lot

Harry's old Ford parks in an illegal place in Waltho Street. Harry dons his lollipop man's uniform.
Later he is round at the police station thinking the note from the police has something to do with his application to become a mobile policeman. Patiently the duty sergeant (Anthony Sagar) deals with the problem, but frustrated, he calls in the constable who had issued Harry's parking ticket. His licence being in his car, Harry has to go to retrieve it, only to see his car being driven away by a policeman. Can we hush it up, queries the kindly Harry.
Inspector Wallace (Frank Thornton, a fine foil) is advertising for traffic wardens. Mistakenly, very mistakenly, he thinks Harry wants to be one. There's a highly confused exchange as the inspector concedes, "I find your enthusiasm for police work very touching." But the two's idea of what the job entails is rather at variance. Asks the eager Harry, "if we do go through the traffic lights at red....?" Finally the inspector understands. "It's a wonder we didn't get confused," says Harry. "One of us did," retorts poor Inspector Wallace solidly. So would Harry like to become a warden?
Day One, and the sergeant briefs his raw recruits. A sketch map of the district is examined in detail, before Harry comes up with a rather more basic question, which way is North? Then there's a demonstration of how to book an illegal parker, the sergeant taking on the role of an offended driver, "you have stuck a ticket on my car," he cries. He is so aggressive Harry proposes that he tears the ticket up.
In Waltho Street a VIP car parks, though what we expect to happen doesn't. Only a satiricial moment from Frank Thornton to show it must be Harold Wilson. Harry's own car is again booked by a zealous colleague, what time Harry is helping a young lady park her car... in the area reserved for the VIP. Then he books Inspector Wallace's vehicle. An infuriated inspector is placated by his sergeant, who then tries to get Harry to voluntarily destroy the ticket. But Harry is never up to such subtleties.
Harry has only issued one other ticket on his first day. "It's mine!" shrieks the sergeant.

I am only sorry that my description of this episode can't really convey anything of Harry's understated performance, for me, one of his finest programmes

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3.5 "James Bond, Where Are You?" (1968) -
Harry is absorbed in a library, working out his family tree. But it's now 5pm on Friday night, time to close. But Harry gets deep into a relevant book on Wellington, and the librarian assumes he has left. Harry is now locked in.
Through the window is his only way of escape, but he is two floors up. A library ladder however proves useful in crawling to an adjacent building which has a conveniently open window.
The room Harry enters is also locked. But at least here's a phone. The police are requested to rescue him, but where exactly is he? The phone number yields the necessary information- he is in a foreign embassy. Since this building has diplomatic immunity, Harry can't be got out. But at least Harry is given the phone number of the ambassador.
Alexis Kurov, second secretary answers. "I don't understand." The third secretary is despatched, bursting in to Harry's room to search the intruder. "Are you working for the British government?" is the question. They have a little chat, a little search of Harry's briefcase ("is it ticking?") and a long explanation about Harry's family tree. Yes, Harry is "at the head of all this." A spy ring deduces second secretary Kurov. "Who is your superior in British Intelligence?" Harry can only respond with "practically everybody!"
Is Harry going to crack under interrogation? Or is his interrogator?
A clandestine meeting with Baker of MI5- in the library on Monday morning. A swap is offered for the British agent. But Baker reveals who Harry really is.
A broken man, Kurov is offered sympathy by Harry. "They will shoot you," he has to concede. To help, he escapes, climbing back across the ladder, to a welcome hand from Baker
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4.5 "Just The Job" (1969)
Typical Harry Worth chaos, as Harry undertakes a task for which his peculiar talents are singularly unsuitable.
"Placid as baked custard," is Mr Benson, an employee at the Labour Exchange, though we know that by the end, he and his contented colleagues will be in turmoil, for in walks Harry.
He's only wandered in looking for Social Security who have written to him about his unpaid stamps. Brusque Mr Nutter (Victor Maddern) attempts to understand Harry's problem. He decides not unreasonably that Harry must be looking for a job, and so sets about his onerous task. A form to complete, about Harry's fitness for work. Last job? An astronaut, states Harry. Nutter looks rather baffled. But Harry had only been selling Lunar Washing Powder. "So you're a salesman?" asks Nutter, grasping it at last. Harry disarms him, "I would have been, had I sold any." Other jobs? Snow shifting. But Harry is able to state with confidence, "I'm very good with people." "An exasperated Nutter breathes, "you're not doing so bright with me." So are there any jobs at all that Harry feels he could do? "Yours," is the response.
And funnily enough that comes true, for Mr Nutter is off to lunch and the Exchange is very short staffed. So the desperate boss Mr Winters offers Harry a probationary job. Kind Mr Coles puts Harry through the ropes. There's Form A and Form B. Straightforward enough, but then Mr Coles tries a simulation exercise with Harry, which gets him rather confused. or rather, gets them both confused. "You know I'm not really a builder..." Coles patiently tries to explain how Harry should be friendly and informal to win the client's confidence. But not so friendly that he jokes with him about his income, as Harry attempts to do.
Beaten Mr Coles hands Harry into Benson's hands, and because Nutter has been sacked after strenuously objecting to Harry's appointment, Harry is straight in at the front line. A personnel manager (Jan Holden) requires someone for her complaints department, someone with tact and diplomacy. Pay starts at £1,100 with increments. Harry doesn't understand this last word, so consults Benson. The best scene follows, as boss Mr Winters misunderstands Harry's query and thinks Harry is wanting a rise already.
Harry is in the front office when in walks Mr Nutter, he's unemployed now. Harry asks the obvious question, "what was your regular job?" An angry Nutter bursts as he's asked, "why did you leave?" But Harry knows just the job for such a man of tact, that personnel manager. "You must be joking!"
"The ultimate deterrent" is fired, and sadly Harry rejoins the dole queue. Of course his first task is to seek new employment, so he goes to consult with reinstated Mr Nutter...
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"Anyone for Golf?"

Richard Wattis was the ideal comedy foil. Here he plays longsuffering Charles who lives on the edge of a golf course. Very nice, except he's tired of golf balls flying into his garden. And a lovely garden it is too.
It's Charles' misfortune that Harry is the next golfer coming in search of his ball. Vera (Georgina Cookson) tries to calm husband Charles down as Harry gets him more and more worked up, "mind my polyanthers."
Pointing out the greenfly does not endear Harry to Charles either. There's the ball, in the middle of some flowers. "I will use a nine iron." But Charles refuses to allow his hydrangeas to be decapitated.
Over a cup of soothing tea, Harry phones the golf captain for advice. Vera and Charles fall out. She's a keen golfer, once engaged to a pro, and insists Harry plays his shot.
It was a nice garden. "I went beserk," apologises Harry. "I'm out of your hydrangeas," yes that's the good news, however, "I'm now in your chrysanthemums."
More telephone advice needed as he has now taken 37 strokes. More vain attempts, more decapitation until Charles calls in the police.
A sergeant (Reginald Marsh) appears with his constable, who however is felled by a shot from our golfer. Patiently the sergeant listens to Harry's explanations, his patience wearing thin, until the situation is grasped.
Vera and Harry have falled out over Harry and she's threatening to go home to mother. Back to phone advice. "I'm up against a fence." Wonderful news, which might have been imparted earlier, that as he's out of bounds, Harry can take a drop.
"No hard feelings," Harry offers Charles as he leaves. On the course Harry plays, and his ball shoots into the garden. Poor Charles goes wild and knocks down the flowers that are still standing. Indeed it is no longer a lovely garden

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Whacko!
with Jimmy Edwards who surely had his finest hour as the incompetent headmaster ("le loi, c'est moi"), and Arthur Howard who was a perfect balance as his deputy Pettigrew, dim to the ways of the world, but absolutely honest. 47 programmes were made between 1956 and 1960, with a revival late in 1971 with 11 new stories.

For outline details of the eight tv series plus some cast lists.

Reviews of the only recently viewed stories:

3.5 (21st October 1958)- Lumley's dad insists he achieves something at school so the "Sword of Damocockles" is hanging over Jim. He devises a scheme- ballroom dancing lessons with St Mildred's School, Petters in charge. However it needs all Jim's authority to make Lumley dance with Deirdre. It's love! To impress her he takes up boxing, and even some maths, "every one correct!" Now he's engaged, he refuses to take part in the boxing finals, which Jim has fixed, so his opponent Figgins wins, but by a stroke of luck Lumley's dad is satisfied
Series ?- Oliver Pettigrew wins £38,000 on the pools. Jim knows how to "begone dull care" even if Petters regards it as a "hardship." A reluctant Pettigrew is exposed to "a right catalogue of debauchery" and "one sample of the fleshpots" at the glossy Ritz Carlton changes him: "this is the life!"
Colour series 8- * A mystifying illness ("nothing trivial I hope!") has laid the Lower Third low. It's related to Jim's edict that the school have to wear Etons. When 362 Etons are stolen during the night by "The Eton Suit Mob," Jim can retaliate by nicking all the pupils' grey flannels. But then next night the staff too find their clothing has disappeared, and today's the day for the visit of 200 refined ladies! Jim's masterstroke nearly wins the day: "c'est moi qui a gagne"

Jimmy Edwards: The Seven Faces of Jim.

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Whack-O!
Scripts: Frank Muir and Dennis Norden. Producer: Douglas Moodie.
Incidental music composed and conducted by Alan Yates.

If you can assist with any other cast lists, please email me. Your help will be much appreciated- and acknowledged

Series One. Broadcast fortnightly between the 4th October and 13th December 1956, the show went out generally on a Tuesday evening at 8pm. The first series consisted of 6 half hour shows. There was also a special short broadcast as part of These Are The Shows on Saturday 28th September 1957 at 8pm.

Series Two. The second series contained 10 half hour shows broadcast weekly, generally of a Tuesday evening at 7.30pm between the 1st October and 3rd December 1957. Elizabeth (Liz) Fraser joined the cast as the blonde matron.

Series Three. A further 7 episodes broadcast between the 23rd September and 4th November 1958 of a Tuesday evening at 7.30pm. There was also a short special on Christmas Night With the Stars broadcast on Christmas Day 1958 at 6.25pm.

Series Four. Series four was broadcast a year later between 12th May and 16th June 1959 of a Tuesday evening at 7.30pm and consisted of 6 episodes.
4.1 May 12th 1959 (rpt June 21st 1959)
Cast: Jimmy Edwards (Headmaster), Arthur Howard (Mr Pettigrew), Edwin Apps (Mr Halliforth), Christopher Hodge (Mr Snaith), William E Raynor (Mr Posford), John Forbes Robertson (Mr Tuppington), Maurice Hedley (Mr Ramsay), Robert O'Leary (Phipps), Jimmy Ray (Crombie), Derek Needs (Phillpott), Anthony Wilson (Hotchkiss), Geoffrey Paget (Rawlinson), Jon Skinner (Harper), Alexis Chesnakov (Mr Bulenkov), Michael Kilgariff/ Max Latimer (Security escorts), Patrick Connor (Taxi driver).
4.3 May 26th 1959 (rpt July 5th 1959)
"When Jim is pressed to settle an outstanding account of £104 8/- for scholastic supplies, he hits on an idea for raising money, which is well up to his usual standard. For is it not about time that Chiselbury had a memorial to its greatest old boy, Samuel Ogilvie Upjohn, "the boy who never was"?
Cast: Jimmy Edwards (Headmaster), Arthur Howard (Mr Pettigrew), Edwin Apps (Mr Halliforth), Christopher Hodge (Mr Snaith), Frank Raymond (Mr Cope-Willoughby), Robert O'Leary (Phipps), Jimmy Ray (Crombie), Derek Needs (Phillpott), Mary Hignett (Mrs Mortlake), Austin Trevor (Brigadier Taplow), Arnold Diamond (Mr Osborne), Michael Ward (Mr Harris).

Series Five. Another 6 episodes formed series five and were broadcast from the 10th November to the 15th December 1959 of a Tuesday evenings at 7.30pm. There was also a short special, Christmas Night With the Stars, broadcast on Christmas Day 1959 at 6.20pm.
5.2 November 17th 1959 (rpt January 18th 1960)
Cast: Jimmy Edwards (Headmaster), Arthur Howard (Mr Pettigrew), Edwin Apps (Mr Halliforth), Gordon Phillott (Mr Dinwiddie), Jimmy Ray (Crombie), Paul Norman (Potter), Kynaston Reeves (Magistrate), Philip Howard (Usher), Donald Bisset (Dr Garland).

Series Six. The sixth series was another 6 episodes broadcast between the 13th May and 17th June 1960, and went out mostly on a Friday at 8.30pm.
Series 6 was definitely telerecorded, as it was repeated during that summer.
6.1 (May 13th 1960)
with Jimmy Edwards and Arthur Howard. Also: Edwin Apps (Mr Halliforth), Gordon Phillott (Mr Dinwiddie), Brian Rawlinson (Mr Proctor), Frank Raymond (Mr Cope-Willoughby), Stephen Portch (Hoyle), Geoffrey Paget (Rawlinson), Richard Dean (Parker), Michael Des Barres (Floyd), Fabia Drake (Mrs Cheviot), Ian Fleming (Doctor Ross), Andrikos Adonis (Moussaka).
6.2 (May 20th 1960)
6.3 (May 27th 1960)
with Jimmy Edwards and Arthur Howard. Also: Edwin Apps (Mr Halliforth), Gordon Phillott (Mr Dinwiddie), Brian Rawlinson (Mr Proctor), Frank Raymond (Mr Cope-Willoughby), Stephen Portch (Hoyle), Geoffrey Paget (Rawlinson), Howard Marion-Crawford (Sir Gerald Turnbull), Arnold Bell (Mr Foster).
6.4 (June 3rd 1960)
with Jimmy Edwards and Arthur Howard. Also: Edwin Apps (Mr Halliforth), Gordon Phillott (Mr Dinwiddie), Brian Rawlinson (Mr Proctor), Frank Raymond (Mr Cope-Willoughby), Billy Thatcher (Mr Drew), Stephen Portch (Hoyle), Geoffrey Paget (Rawlinson), Richard Dean (Parker), Mary Merrall (Lady Westbury), Stanley van Beers (Sam Tozer).
6.5 (June 10th 1960)
with Jimmy Edwards and Arthur Howard. Also: Edwin Apps (Mr Halliforth), Gordon Phillott (Mr Dinwiddie), Brian Rawlinson (Mr Proctor), Frank Raymond (Mr Cope-Willoughby), David Langford (Fuller), Norman Pierce (Police Inspector).
6.6 (June 17th 1960)
with Jimmy Edwards, Arthur Howard and special guest Max Bygraves. Also: Edwin Apps (Mr Halliforth), Frank Raymond (Mr Cope-Willoughby), Barry Took (Barry Hayman), Oliver Johnston (Mr Grubb), Olwen Brookes (Secretary).

Series Seven. The last in the main run of series, there were 6 episodes broadcast between 22nd November and 27th December 1960 of a Tuesday evening at 7.30pm.

Series eight. Series eight was a revival of the show some 11 years after the main run and contained 13 colour episodes. Broadcast between 27th November 1971 and 26th February 1972 on BBC1 on Saturdays at 5.05pm.

Whacko! Menu

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Seven Faces of Jim (1961)
2. The Face of Duty- Nice affectionate tribute to the RAF war films, only this is at Jimicabs. Skipper Jim needs drivers “with guts,” not like his newest recruit, his own son (Richard Briers). Yet, in dense fog, the “weakling” proves his mettle by driving Ernest Marples to his destination, and returning to base, badly guided by dad
3 The Face of Genius - the best of the bunch. A brilliant scientist, Jim that is, has to communicate with The Thing from outer space. The spores from it change Jim's wife (Prunella Scales) into a man (Dick Emery). This is a quite surreal bit of fun, as the couple ponder divorce, whilst a colonel (Paul Eddington) transforms into "a ruddy girl" (June Whitfield)- "one minute you're an officer and a gentleman, the next minute you're an officer and a bint!" "The mind boggles" as famous names change sex, Judith Chalmers reading the news is now Ronnie Barker....
4 The Face of Power - 1840, in't northern town where dad's being sacked from his own shop, and by James, his own son too. He's an ambitious lad, and marries t'uppercrust Letty (June Whitfield), even though dad warns "money and power are not the be-all and end-all." 'Tis only when rich James' gas mantle empire collapses that that truth cums home
5 The Face of Dedication - "From the 50 Most Hackney Plots in Fiction, Jim portrays a humble old-fashioned country doctor." His secret past as Jim Smith No3780246 leads to his being blackmailed by Sidney Figgins (Ronnie Barker). As the "blaggard" romances Jim's innocent daughter Pru (June Whitfield), Jim plans his suicide, only for Sidney to be run over by a sewage lorry. The gallant Jim has to operate to save the villain's life
6 The Face of Enthusiasm - Agent Jimmy Rolfe loses his only artistes, rock star Ricky Groyne (Richard Briers) and Maudie Glover (Amanda Barrie), the Musical Nude. He tries to promote a teashop band to become "the big thing," and a record by the Julia Burke-Adams Tea-Time Three is a hit on Juke Box Jury. Fame for a few days for Julia (June Whitfield) afore Jim's dim secretary Norman (Melvyn Hayes) is acclaimed the next wonder, with his barrel organ
7 The Face of Guilt - Shivering Rock Lighthouse has but two inhabitants, Jim, here as Caleb, and Richard Briers. "Time crawls" here, until the ghost of Inigo haunts them and Inigo's wife forces Caleb to explain how Inigo disappeared one Christmas....
More Faces of Jim (1962)
Fatherhood - with Ronnie Barker, Brian Oulton
Jimmy Edwards Menu
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Meet the Wife with Thora Hird and Freddie Frinton
Comedy Playhouse Pilot: The Bed (1963)
1.3 The Back (1964)- Breakfast in Bed- "this is what they call Living!" But after Freddie's cooking, Thora isn't very pleased with the mess he's left in the kitchen. Freddie seeks consolation in the pub and a chance for him to do his drunk routine is not taken. If I say the highlights are the squeaking wardrobe door, and the milkman who's overcharged them, you'll have some idea of the banality of the story
1.6 The Business Dinner - This is about a candlelit dinner in honour of master builder Frank (Michael Brennan) and his wife, Freddie's ex girl friend Mabel (Mavis Villiers). Can Freddie get some work out of Frank on the strength of this meal? Not when Freddie opens wine bottles with drills and smashes Thora's best plate. Their attempt at social climbing rather backfires, as does this script
1.7 The Strain - Freddie strains his shoulder and bumps his head at work. "Ring for the doctor." But before the doc gets there, Thora has to make the house "presentable," and Fred also, by shaving him and putting a new pair of pyjamas on him. Some overhasty tidying sets the bed alight. Almost amusing
4.5 The Merry Widow (1965) - Freddie "don't feel too well" until the flighty Blossom (Avis Bunnage) ...er... nurses him in the wife's absence. Returning, Thora jumps to the wrong conclusions before the vicar (Arthur Howard) comes to sort it out- "blow the ruddy vicar!"
4.6 Journey Home - Boxing Day, and Freddie and Thora travel home by rail, in the days when trains ran over the festive season. The ancient art of Keeping a Free Compartment and the intricacies of the old-style railway timetable are two of their innocuous pastimes before they become stranded at a remote junction
5.7 Old Time Dancing (1966) - "I've got a darts practice so I can't go." But Freddie has to, with Thora to the Dancing Competition practice: "you're off balance on your pivots," he's told by the belligerent teacher (Fabia Drake at her most bullish). Mr BBC, Peter West, introduces the contest and it goes without a single laugh until Freddie has a little drink. Even then there's not much to laugh about

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Lance Percival Show
1966 BBC series

with guest Jon Pertwee

Easter 1966,
with guest Millicent Martin

With guest star Dick Emery

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with guest Dick Emery
Opening filmed sequence with LP in his Rolls, then he sings a calypso If I Had the Wings Like a Dove. In Radio Rave Elaine Taylor is a DJ interviewing Michael Rothwell, a scruffy pop star named Ernie. LP is a guardsman talking to camera about how tv should be run along military lines. A smoking advert has the altered tagline, "more and more guards are changing to Civilians." The CO (LP again) talks about Sex and the Single Soldier, with an utterly incomprehensible punchline.
Elaine Taylor sings Baubles and Bangles.
LP as the vicar chats to the news vendor, at half speed as it were, they discuss eels swarming, just like the congregation, and his image as an Anglican Bing Crosby etc.
LP and Elaine are watching telly, that leads on to filmed interviews on what to do without it. In Television Centre, a posh BBC executive (LP) shows us how a programme is put together, allegedly.
In Great Acting, an aged Dick Emery gives a monologue about his art, including a mini silent film with his ex-wife, his greatest success as a dog in a commercial, that sort of level.
The finale is the song Granada, which takes a few enjoyable swipes at Sidney Bernstein's programmes on the other side. "Monday and Wednesday we get Coronation Street... the beauty of Ena." There's a verse about showing film clips, "plugging new films doesn't cost Sydney a dime." One line I sympathised with was Brian Inglis, "such a bore," less satirical was Criss Cross Quiz, "they pay in pesetas not pounds." Then there's Bernardo (that must be Levin) with What The Papers Say, plus Bamber Gascoigne made to sound like Bing. There sounds like a touch of jealousy somewhere in all this, but it ends happily with, "you get two whole days off every weekend."
This may sound almost like a good programme, but for me was weak and thoroughly disappointing
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P>.

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with guest Jon Pertwee
Strolling through the audience, LP sings Scandal in De Family.
Backstage scenes from Puss In Boots as The Demon King (LP) argues with his wife Edna over their well worn act, "you're not so young as you were." "I am the last Trump," he declares, and other such drivel, as they don their panto cow costume.
Elaine Taylor sings Funny Girls.
At the Board of Trade, Jon Pertwee does a solo sketch where all the props go wrong. He lectures his public on great British quality goods, an alarm clock that won't stop ringing for example. "I defy you to find anything shoddy," he challenges us, fatal, as he admires a decanter of Scotch whiskey, "looks pretty dashed tempting." Of course he can't open it.
The Vicar and The Newsvendor talk about space and how to make inter planetary communication. They even anticipate problems with the ozone layer, without calling it such. The sort of level is illustrated by this exchange: "we must not covet our neighbour's ox." Reply: "no nor his arss." There's a good finish though as the newsvendor stares into space and tells the vicar, "only a couple more million years before they'll be receiving your epilogues up there."
Problems of Modern Living deals with spaghetti, as LP demonstrates how to eat it. Filmed interviews follow, then LP talks of Scottish spaghetti, the audience seems to laugh, "several bridges have been made from it."
The final song is LP playing his guitar alongside Pertwee, If You Want To be Happy
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April 8th 1966 (Easter)

Oh dear! A distinguished team of writers produce a dire script. The best sketch is rather inventive however, of a married couple living an ordinary life on the moon. Discussion revolves round interplanetary soccer matches, and speculation whether anyone could actually live on Earth. Jokes on the Earth/Moon theme like that well known song 'Earth Love' and talk of the couple enjoying their 'honeyearth.'
A depressing sketch given to supporting cast Elaine Taylor and Michael Rothwell has a supermarket cashier telling her woes to customers, "I can't take any more." I couldn't either. There is also a mini-sketch at the roulette wheel, with a feeble punchline. LP acts the reverend chatting to a news vendor, with a topical reference to the stolen gold cup. Stocks and shares yield weak laughs before the sketch ends with the rather odd conclusion that the church should be nationalised.
In Problems of Modern Living, Daphne (Millicent Martin) listens suspiciously to Jeremy (LP) and his various excuses as to why there is hair on his jacket. There follow filmed interviews on Hair, awfully corny. Then LP plays a camp wig maker.
The songs start with LP singing Before I Leave This Town, all very jolly and nonsensical. No Strings on Me is Millicent Martin's offering. The final number is How Not to Sing a Calypso, Matilda. How Not To Write a Good Script, ought to have been another title

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TERRY SCOTT
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hugh and I - with Terry Scott and Hugh Lloyd

Terry Scott continued without Hugh Lloyd with these rather awful 'specials'-
Scott on Marriage (1968) - with Terry Scott, June Whitfield and Peter Butterworth
A generally weak script by a Bryan Blackburn leads to a lot of overacting, but the best sketch is reserved for the last, with Terry trying to be a sixties swinger. And the final comments have a ghastly ring of truth:
An ageing June: "I didn't think much of that, did you dear?"
An ancient Terry: "I certainly did not. If that's what marriage is all about, the engagement's off!"
And that's as good as it gets.
Scott on Travel (1971) - with June Whitfield and Frank Thornton
Dave Freeman was now writing the script, not his finest hour. Some of the sketches include The Neurotic Pilot, The Travel Agents - a song duet, The Highwayman with Terry as a cowardly Captain Fearless, A Canal Cruise- a filmed interlude with Terry getting soaked, The Hotel Waiter and a satirical Star Trek a la Scott, a musical! RIP
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1:5 (1962) A Fete Worse Than Death-
Last year's traditional church fete made a loss of 6s 8d, so Mr Scott proposes a Pageant of English History this year. But where would the costumes come from?
"If you care to come round sometime, "Miss Chauncey suggests, "you can ferret through my trunk!"
After a lot of debate, and ill-feeling, as "we all do what Mr Scott says we should do," the idea is agreed.
Terry plans the project which will include such famous events as The Murdering of the Princesses in the Tower and The Execution of Anne Boleyn. "Who's going to be the narrator?" ask mum needlessly. "Need you ask," replies Hugh. Yes Terry is organising it all.
Hammy retired actors, Mr and Mrs Smythe agree to take the leads- as long as they can adapt Terry's script. Certainly their declamation suggests they are the part. But when they fall ill, Miss Jenks (Joan Hickson) has to step into the breech.... and the "inescapable conclusion is that we're lumbered with Lloyd!" He plays William the Conqueror at rehearsal. "Can't Norma be queen?" pleads Hugh.
"I fancy a piece of England," the Conqueror announces. "I will conquer them .... Monday." "Mon Dieu," corrects Terry. The scene becomes too drawn out and tedious, with other corny lines around the Magna Carta, with Mr Spriggs (Julian Orchard) a far from fierce baron.
Before the big day, an even older chesnut, as the vicar announces the fete from the pulpit, adding "the preacher next Sunday, you will find hanging in the entrance."
The day of the fete, it is pouring with rain. So it's all indoors for bingo!
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1:6 It's a Dog's Life
Mum is happily singing- "I didn't know I was." Hugh is chewing apples so noisily that Terry can't complete his Times crossword!
Norma pops round to offer them a puppy. Mum and Hugh both agree, but Terry is, of course, set against it- "it's a conspiracy."
So, in secret, Hugh brings home a dog and hides it. His first task is to 'borrow' some food, so at dinner that evening Mr Wormald's liver and bacon is pocketed whilst he's looking the other way. In a well performed scene, when he asks for seconds, Mrs Wormald tells her baffled husband, "I don't think you ought to have any more."
Then up in his bedroom Hugh talks to his new friend Patricia. Which makes Terry in the adjacent room decide "he's delirious... he's going bonkers."
So he calls in the Crispins from next door to deal with him, and with umbrellas at the ready, they try reasoning with poor Hugh.
"Perhaps he's suffering from magnesia," suggests mum. And seeing him chatting, apparently to himself, crouched under his bed, her diagnosis seems confirmed.
But then Hugh notices Patricia isn't there. Where has she gone? The possibility of her being lost sends Hugh wild. But never fear, as Terry calms down and returns to his bed, there's Patricia!
Terry makes Hugh take the dog to the dog's home, but when they emerge, Terry is now the proud owner of two himself
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1:7 Putting on the Ritz (28/8/1962)
"Oh Terry, you're not thinking of working again?" sighs Mum. Admittedly, "unemployed" Terry is "hard to place" but could American Jefferson Freebody offer him a job? To impress this gent, Terry offers to show him round town.
As Hugh has had a pay rise, and Harold Wormold can loan him a dinner suit, Hugh joins Terry for a night at the Carlton. But before they go Cyril Smith as Wormold demonstrates his old music hall routine, ending with Mrs Wormold's classic line: "'s not getting any better!"
Hugh and I announce themselves at the upper crust hotel: "tradesman's entrance is round the corner!" However Terry's acquaintance with dear Lord Popham (Fred Emney) gets them inside at last.
"Lloyd, would you like an aperitif?"
"Yes, has it got any bones in it?"
Other jokes follow, in similar vein, such as:
Terry, ordering: "a fairly dry Martini."
Hugh: "a fairly wet one." He adds: "have you any tripe and onions?"
Freebody and his wife join them for the meal. Terry introduces "my man" Lloyd, who explains "I was born in captivity."
Lord Popham sits through it all, with an occasional arousal from slumber: "try the shrotted pimps."
To Terry's consternation his guests order caviar and champagne, followed by "more champagne" until, with drink freely flowing, Terry is offered the job.
"Anything troubling you?" queries Hugh when the guests have departed. It's the bill for £47 10/-. So the corny end sees Terry's job as peeling spuds, with Hugh opening oyster shells. Is there something inside this one...?

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1.8 Love Thy Neighbour (4/9/1962)

Both Hugh and Terry are hopping around, as they have each lost a slipper. "Perhaps we've been burgled!" But it's only Patricia the dog.
A more serious concern is Crispin's new car. "That pile of junk" has to be parked in front of Terry's house, because of the lines on the road. But really Terry is "eaten up with envy." Says Mrs Crispin:
"We're going down to the coast."
"Brighton?" asks Mrs Scott.
Nothing so common...... Hove!"
Thick smoke from their car drifts in through the Scott's window, and that decides Terry on Action. At 2am he creeps out to the road with Hugh, telling him to paint a line on the road to stop Crispin parking there. "Very pretty," declares the inevitable policeman. "We work for the council," Terry explains lamely.
Next day the magistrate fines each £5. And smoke, whenever that car starts up, is still pouring in through that window. So another scheme- Hugh will buy a car, says Terry, and park it outside the house.
They find a car for sale, owner eccentric Sir Ralph Springer (William Fox), who is selling his ancient Rolls: "a bit big isn't it?!" Terry assures Hugh- "all the better for putting Crispin's bonnet out of joint."
With some difficulty, the car is started, and pours out smoke a la Crispin's car.
Now they are off for a picnic with the Wormolds. The Crispins stand by, rather impressed: "Where are you going? Brighton?"
Quips Terry: "Nothing so common......... Frinton!"
Which one of you is the driver?" asks Wormold, as noone's in the driving seat. They'd overlooked that point!
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2:5 (1963) Prison Visitor
"Patricia, take daddy into the garden and bury him," shouts an exasperated Terry, at his dog who's happily playing with Hugh. To be truthful, Patricia is rather too frisky for Hugh Lloyd.
For Terry has more important things on his mind. The crime wave for example: "perhaps I can do something in that direction." Being interested in the criminal mind, he decides to "redeem the fallen."
32439 (Kenneth J Warren) is his first victim. He's in for robbery with violence. "Good morning mate!" begins Terry, spitting on the floor. "I don't believe you're a criminal at all." He offers to help when the six year sentence is run. You could say, it's not exactly a successful visit.
Back home, he bemoans the "cardboard characters in phoney situations," that are on telly, when 32439 enters. He "got out unexpectedly." He forces Terry to change clothes. Says mum to her boy: "I do hope you remembered to put on your clean vest and pants!"
Hugh has been at the shops, and when he gets back, Terry tries but fails to get him to phone the police. "Just watch it fatso," warns 32439. After that Hugh calls him fatso too!
Terry recalls that unreal tv show they were watching. Someone had dialled the cops. "What happened then?" asks Hugh. Adds Terry: "the gangster shot him!" But Hugh is still persuaded to make the call, only mum sees him and asks who he's phoning!
Cecil and Griselda barge their way into the hosue, in order to watch Z Cars. "I would have to choose a nuthouse!" sighs the convict.
Hugh has to go to the toilet, and so uses the chance to speak through the window to Mrs Crispin next door. That brings Mr Crispin round complaining of their "sex mad lodger!" Asks Terry: "have you been disgusting in the bathroom?"
But at least Crispin has phoned the police about the incident. 32439 has to run off, thus when the police enter, they find Terry, in convict garb, and it's him they take away
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2:9 Sink of Iniquity - BBC domestic comedy at its cosy best.
Terry seems to be a little jealous of Hugh's "improved physique" he's getting with his chest expander. Norma admires him too. "You don't need it," Terry tells her. Norma has popped in to ask to use the phone to contact an electrician.
However as it's only a fuse needs mending, Hugh volunteers to do the job. Terry is soon taking charge. "You can always count on us," he boasts, rather unwisely as it turns out.
The fusebox is above the sink and Terry is soon putting his foot in it, the sink that is, which now needs their attention too. "You can damn well pay for a new one," swears Mrs Crispin. "I happen to be mending your fuse," a goaded Terry responds with as much dignity as a man with a foot through a sink can muster.
As Slocombe the plumber is so expensive Terry promises to install the new sink as "it's only a fiddly little job."
Fatal words. The first snag is getting the unit in through the kitchen door. As it won't, Terry and Hugh carry the sink round to go in via the front door. Pausing for a rest, removal men next door pick up the sink unit loading it on to their van.
After a chase, Terry and Hugh begin a classic conversation at the local police station where the sergeant (Deryck Guyler) jots down the details of this "sink theft." He exhibits all the equanimity of a policeman trained to patiently unravel absolutely any problem, as he asks them in puzzled tones "surely the neighbours would know if their sink was missing?" In a lovely scene, the sergeant at last grasps the situation... he thinks!
"I was mending the fuse," explains Terry.
"Was it an electric sink?" queries the policeman.
"Have you got another branch near here?" sighs Terry.
Finally the sink is returned. Jeers Crispin "Luton's a long way round to go from the back door to the front!" There's more slapstick, almost it seems Terry is Oliver to Hugh's Stan Laurel.
"Next time you can mend your own fuse," concludes Terry, though of course it turns out the fuse wasn't what was wrong. The sink is a botched job too. Result- the Crispins have to eat round at Terry's, Hugh being left to work on the task alone....
"We're going to have to rebuild the whole house!" cries Mrs Crispin. "It's been one of those days," agrees Hugh

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3:7 (1964) Escort Duty -
The good old days when TV closed down for the night. Mum is standing for the National Anthem and won't be interrupted by Terry, who has to wait, contorting his face as it plays: "you squeeze the last drop out of your licence!" He's impatient to phone the Daily Chronicle to confirm he has won their boxing competition. Prize is two tickets for the big fight.
Of course he hasn't won so he searches for a job, so he can get the money to buy a ticket for the boxing. An armed escort with Hugh alongside- that's it! However the agency only wants escorts for two Italian sisters, "sightseeing in the Rolls"- and at £50 each it's a go.
On the tenth floor of posh Crawfords Hotel, they first meet the girls' mother, who interrogates them. Maria and Sophia are "unpinning their heads!" she explains. The boys see they have to impress the lady, so to her remark "we have a chalet in Switzerland," the response is- Terry "we have got one....," Hugh: "...in Skegness." But when the attractive Maria finally enters, her first line "I am entirely in your hands" can only evoke "Phew!" from Terry. They just have to impress. Terry: "I'm Scott of Scotts Hall," Hugh "Yes, and I am Lloyd of London." After more idle chat, assuming the roles of nobs, they bid "toodly pippy," and from Hugh "chinchilla," to get togged up for the night out.
It's a little awkward picking the girls up outside Scotts Hall, as this is Buckingham Palace. As the boys arrive, the girls are explaining to the policeman on duty "we know the owner!" Then they go off on their dates, Terry snoring through a concert at the Festival Hall, whilst Hugh takes the excitable Maria to the Big Fight. Uninspiring
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4:4 (1965) A Brace of Peasants -

The opening scene is in the bathroom, Hugh using Terry's watch as a plug for the basin. Today it's the start of the summer holidays, and each year they have gone to Brighton, for as Hugh says "there's nowhere like Brighton." Retorts Terry; "the only place you ever tried was Hove!"
But Terry longs for something different, like shooting in the Scottish Highlands. "There's nowhere like Brighton," repeats Hugh. But Terry has already booked them for grouse shooting.
So they ask a shopkeeper (Anthony Sharp) for "two bangers." He gets increasingly irritated by Hugh's ignorance. Terry orders the guns and asks them to be sent to his Club. "Which club?" Hugh enlightens him: "the Tooting Bowls Club."
The King's Cross to Aberdeen express sees Terry and Hugh in shooting regalia, as they settle into a crowded compartment. "We're going to bag a few grice," Hugh informs his fellow travellers, who prove, not surprisingly, to be "a touchy lot." Terry scoffs food until the ticket collector (Deryck Guyler) tells them they are in the wrong portion of the train for Scotland.
Their new travelling companions are Lord Popham (Fred Emney) and his wife Sybil (Judith Furse). She asks Hugh about where they are to shoot: "you do realise you can't shoot ad lib?" "No grouse," corrects Hugh, "grice."
Popham invites them to his place.
Next morning Hugh is only half awake, and longing to be in Brighton. In a confusing story, an army training exercise gets mixed up with the shoot. A soldier (Frank Williams) explains his plans to a mystified Hugh and Terry. "What are you talking about?" They decide he's an escaped lunatic.
"Keep an eye on that, will you?" the soldier asks, 'that' being a machine gun. Popham joins the lads and stares at their gun: "is that yours?" He takes charge, leaving the two boys to go to Brighton, and try their luck with the girls there

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Comedy Playhouse

BBC's showcase for potential new series.

1.4 The Offer (1962) - Steptoe and Son's first outing
2.1 Our Man in Moscow (1963)
2.3 Impasse
2.5 A Clerical Error
2.6 The Handyman
2.7 Fools Rush In (see picture)
3.12 The Bed - (1963) Puzzle - how did this warrant being promoted to a full series, Meet the Wife?
5.1 The Bishop Rides Again (1966)- the pilot for All Gas and Gaiters
6.8 The Old Campaigner (1967)
13.3 Born Every Minute (1972, colour)

Galton and Simpson Playhouse
LWT lured these BBC stalwarts to try and repeat their brilliance, only for more money.
The Suit - A lover has his suit stolen, and has to return home in some very unsuitable clothing. His excuses ready, he returns via the toilet window. But the surprise is, the police have already returned his suit and his wife has awkward questions. The part is just made for Leslie Phillips, but oddly the script avoids his embarrassment at being seen in his hippie clothes
An Extra Bunch of Daffodils (May 1969) - Anticipation and surprise are the essence of great comedy. This black comedy has anticipation, as you can see what's coming almost as soon as we meet Lawrence (Stratford Johns) at the cemetry where he's putting flowers on the grave of Wife Number Five. There he bumps into rich widow Mildred (Patsy Rowlands) who, after a whirlwind courtship ends up as Number Six. How does it end up? Well surely you can anticipate that.....
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2.1 Our Man in Moscow (1963) -

A nicely observed vignette of the Cold War. Sir William (Robert Morley) is head at the British Embassy in Russia, and enjoys maintaining good relations with his international counterparts. However this becomes a trifle difficult, when Whitehall demands he hands in a complaint to the Russians about their fishing off the Isle of Wight. "Very trying for you," drily remarks his PA man Mortimer (Frank Thornton). What with that, and holding a reception for pop singer Ricky Richards, it's all too much for Our Man.
Then an even weightier problem arises, in the shape of a potential defector, Romanovski. This tuba player (a rather over-the-top Patrick Wymark) demands political asylum. Why? "I want artistic freedom," the temperamental musician explains. He's not allowed to play Strauss Waltzes- that's what he really wants to play!
Mortimer can see the propaganda value in this defection, though Sir William is more worried about losing his friend the Minister of Culture, who's due to come round for a game of chess. Sir William makes his decision- he is adamant that Romanovski is not allowed to stay here, leading to his best line, "I can see the headlines now- Hands Off Tuba!"
After some overblown political wrangling, a decision is sought from London, the tuba player allowed to stay pro tem.
Two days on, and the secret police are watching the embassy. No reply as yet from the minister in London, since he's away on holiday.
In storms the Russian Minister of Culture. "We want our tuba player back." He greets Romanovski like a long lost brother, "the orchestra needs you," he urges. But the demand is still "I want to play Strauss." The minister concedes and the crisis is surely averted. But back in Britain the press has been feting Sir William as The Lion of Moscow, praising him for his bulldog spirit. So suddenly there's a tussle for the tuba player. Sir William's picture of Britain perhaps decides Romanovski: "there's so much going on, bingo, television!"
This could be the end of a promising career. Worse follows for poor Sir William: that pop singer has defected to Russia, daddy-o. As Sir William puts it gently, "I have a feeling we may be recalled."
The lugubrious Robert Morley is well cast, carrying a rather wordy comedy with plenty of fine lines

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Impasse
It's a snowy day, as seen on some external film shots, as two cars converge on each other, ending up bumper to bumper along a narrow lane. "Back up!" both drivers shout.
One is Albert (Bernard Cribbins) with his wife (Yootha Joyce) in his old banger, "a heap of old tin," the car that is.
The other is the stately Charles (Leslie Phillips) with his wife Celia (Georgina Cookson) in his Rolls Royce.
Both drivers refuse to back up, both believe they're in the right and both wives cannot convince their spouses to stop behaving so childishly.
"I know how to handle this type," Charles tells Celia confidently.
But Albert refuses to give in: "you think because you've got a great big Rolls Royce, you own the road."
It's a classic class slanging match, with all the old jokes, yet perfectly performed. The blustering is interrupted by the arrival of the AA man (Harry Locke), who is called upon to exercise all his years of wisdom to adjudicate. About to side with the upper class, he spots Albert is an AA member, but not Charles. But then an RAC patrolman (Duncan Macrae) drives up to take Charles' side. Now it's a slanging match, AA versus RAC.
At last a solution is agreed- measure the distance back from both cars to the nearest lay-by. But before this is resolved up cycles "Z Cars," a local bobby (Campbell Singer) who finds technical faults with both vehicles. However it's Albert's wreck, he pontificates, that must be pushed back for necessary repairs, though Charles doesn't win either, as he finds his destination is actually behind him!
If it all sounds a little tedious, it is, but the compensations are there with a fine study of comic attitudes, and a fine bunch of comic characters

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The Clerical Error
The idea of John le Mesurier playing a conman was a superb one, but Galton and Simpson's script attempts to develop several sub-plots without satisfactorily settling on any.

Just out of The Scrubs after another three months inside, is a gentle conman (John le Mesurier), who is welcomed back home by his aged mother (Amy Dalby) with "do try and keep out a little longer this time!"
But he's already "out on business," this vicar, at the local, with a collecting box, asking customers to "give generously to the house of the Lord." Profuse thanks are offered to all donors, including a tart (Yootha Joyce) who is curious as to which denomination he represents. "The best of all the others," he replies blandly, adding, "are you interested in theology?!" "Anything for a laugh," she responds, "you're not like any vicar I've ever met!"
Outside, counting his collection 'Caleb Bullrush' is pleased: "the wages of sin aren't too bad this evening!"
The Hotel Europa, Euston, is where he escorts the young lady, booking in as man and wife. But there's an interruption... A policeman knocks: "the inspector would like a word with you."
But it's not what the vicar fears, he's wanted in his "professional capacity." A threatened suicide demands his attention, explains the inspector (Russell Napier). So reluctantly he bids the girl a temporary adieu, with only a hymn book for company.
"Good evening my son, been a funny sort of day, hasn't it?" he begins talking to Watt, the man on the ledge. Biblical quotes from the clergyman are corrected by Watt before the best scene, done so unhurriedly, as the vicar orders tea and bikkies for two. "Like Harold Lloyd," a cuppa is brought out. "Lovely view up here." But not long to admire it, for off falls the poor vicar, a hundred feet down into a fireman's net.
The postscript. The Week's Good Cause on Tv. Rear Admiral Sir Brian Grenville Drake appeals on behalf of the National Fund for Resettlement of Distressed Lighthouse keepers.
A Clerical Error introduces several potentially fine characters and situations (mother, the tart) but they disappear in a rambling storyline that is really only held together by John le Mes' charm.
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2.6 The Handyman
Post of General Handyman at an exclusive health clinic is filled by Hogg, played by Alfred Marks, who was ubiquitous in early tv comedies, but it's hard to see why he was so much in demand.
Arriving at reception, he learns he is to be treated like the guests, and half a bar of fruit and nut is confiscated, for patients here are on a very strict diet. Smoking is forbidden. "Where's the machine gun tower?" jokes the smooth talking Cockney.
The clinic is run with a rod of iron by Dr Basil Davidson (Anthony Sharp), assisted by his besotted matron. He tells Hogg he's obese and orders "something special" for his lunch of 130 calories, "no extraneous stodge."
It's all too much for Lionel Hogg, who starts smuggling food into his cellar for a nice fry-up. However the smell of his cooking wafts upwards, driving one patient, Harris, wild. "One little nibble," he begs Hogg, when he discovers what's going on. "I'll pay- £1 for a sausage!" Meeting with a refusal he ups his bid to £4. And that sets Hogg thinking.
Harris is soon guzzling food brought in by Hogg, and others soon follow the downward path, "on the move" down to the basement. Soon tables are set, and patients are enthusing over "the most wonderful meal I've ever eaten."
"They're all putting on weight," cries the baffled doctor. But Hogg is content- he's making a nice profit at his Blue Lagoon basement restaurant. Until there's a raid. "You're fired!"
But rebellion by all the patients yields a compromise- upstairs there's dieting, downstairs there's plenty of food. So everyone ends up happy. Apart from Hogg, who is now making no profit, so he scarpers off to join a monastery. A simple pleasant bit of fun.
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2.7 Fools Rush In

This was an interesting if ultimately doomed attempt to create two modern Laurel and Hardy type characters. You feel that perhaps given more time to build into their role this might have developed well, but as it is, the characters do become more confident as the half hour progresses, but never quite convince.
Patrick Newell is the bowler hatted Bernard (Barney) Kirby and his partner played by Gordon Rollings is Wilfred Robson. Sacked 47 times, these "blessed idiots" have now obtained positions in the service of the Major (Deryck Guyler). "Nothing must go wrong," Barney warns his dim assistant as they prepare afternoon tea. Various disasters overtake them, Rollings even attempting a Laurel-like display of tears.
It's The Fishing Trip. The Major's two bumbling servants get the Rolls ready, one clearly frustrated: "keep your silly mouth shut." But Stan, er Wilfred, gets his own back by driving, Laurel like, right into poor Barney, crushing the major's best boater for good measure. "It wasn't my fault," cries Wilfred, who adds to his errors by driving off without his friend.
The boys have hired a boat, more "a dirty old tub," actually, but Wilfred' scrubbing down only leads to an accidental dousing for poor Barney. Water, and wetness, prove the theme of this part of the story. "Another fine mess" to quote. Next in the drink is the major, as Wilfred has removed the gangpank. "He's nothing but a menace," rants the major.
The best visual sequence is when Wilfred hangs out the major's shirt to dry. The boys have some sort of fun with a mobile bridge, and soon Barney is soaked, again. "The man is a menace," agrees Barney. Wilfred is sacked. End of a beautiful friendship. "We've always been together, Barney," cries the pathetic Wilfred, who sadly packs his belongings. He departs, but, without the gangplank, falls in the water too.
Now there's Laurel and Hardy type pathos as we hear he can't swim. A frantic search in the water, while Wilfred, of course, has climbed safely back on board. The soaking major emerges from the water and sacks them both. Again.

review from 16mm film

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3.12 The Bed - (Dec 28th 1963)
7am, time to get up. Thora (Thora Hird) hasn't "slept a wink all night" as the bed's "all lumpy." With their 25th wedding anniversary coming up, she decides it's time for a new bed. Husband Freddie (Freddie Frinton) takes her nagging with a resigned look of stoicism.
In the bed showroom, with her ever moaning about the way he pinches the blankets, they are shown a "larger extra wide" double bed, though Thora fancies a twin at £57 10/-. But Freddie prefers the double at a mere £38 10/-.
"Would you like to try for yourselves?" asks the salesman (Brian Oulton).
"What go to bed in a shop!" They do try one with a split mattress: "it prevents you rolling together," explains the salesman. Thora settles down in it, and buys it.
It's the first night at home with the new bed, to incessant chatter from Thora, who has to check there really are 673 springs; "I can only see one!"
Fred has to get in and out of bed to make adjustments. At last he can settle down with the Greyhound Gazette, but Thora's light's faulty, so that needs mending. He has more dull misadventures before Thora echoes all our hopes: "let's get settled down."
The weary Freddie announces "I'm going to the spare room." But all is forgiven when she discovers his anniversary present for her, and she joins him in their old bed.
A really grim attempt, a lifeless comedy
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The Old Campaigner
Written by Michael Pertwee.
Peter Clancy (Derek Fowlds) is "promising material" at work, but not the sort of material that F-J (Terry-Thomas) needs on his business trip to Paris. It's "hard slogging" for the ill-matched pair.
"I'm sure I shall learn a tremendous lot from you," Peter tells his superior, and in a way he's right. For F-J is planning his usual fun with the French femmes, but Clancy's scruples put the dampers on. After some uninspiring debate, Peter reluctantly agrees to tag along. But the first female that F-J phones is "mort," whilst 'Fred' (Nadja Regin) has married, however thankfully Louise is willing and promises to bring Karina.
Champagne is flowing as the girls arrive, but it's "devastation!" Remarks Clancy: "she's gone off a bit." F-J can only groan "Gone off? She was never on!" For Louise is his old cook. So F-J feigns illness and the evening is called off.
Now F-J has quickly recovered, he arranges a date at the cinema with Fanny. Tragedy strikes when F-J twists his ankle, so Peter has to take F-J's place.
He has a fine old time and we next see him chatting up the maid with champagne.
Next morning he's showing F-J a gold cigarette lighter he's bought for the maid, much to F-J's utter surprise.

This is an awfully hackneyed script, which Terry-Thomas does his best with, despite several fluffed lines. However he shows his touch in adlibbing brilliantly when there's an unexpected crashing noise backstage
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Born Every Minute. Script: Jack Popplewell
Two strangers on a train, first class naturally. Alexander Barney (Ronald Fraser) of the Metropolitan Oil Corporation has lost his ticket, as well as his wallet. "I do humbly apologise," he assures the ticket collector, but his kind fellow passenger Sir Rufus Wright (Campbell Singer) kindly loans him the fare. And soon Sir Rufus is "eating out of my hand," as Barney, real name Harry, is telling his partner in crime, Johnny (James Beck), later. Their scheme is to "show him a bargain and leave the rest to greedy disposition."
But both these conmen have a weakness... beautiful women. And at their hotel, both are competing for the blonde Penelope (Juliet Harmer): "what's a pretty girl like you...?" and other cliches. She seems more taken with Harry, perhaps because he seems richer. As for Johnny, "he's got about as much chance as Frankenstein," believes Harry.
Harry has been invited to dine with Sir Rufus and his susceptible wife (Mollie Sugden). Flattery is the order of the day: "what a very nice place you have here." While they enjoy a delicious meal washed down with the finest wine, poor Johnny has to content himself with ham sandwich and a coffee.
Sir Rufus works in Hatton Garden and is prepared to offer Harry £500 for his diamond ring. "It can't be worth all that," exclaims an amazed Harry.
Later he has his rendezvous with Johnny at the station, after bidding farewell to the effusive Penelope. Harry is triumphant- he'd switched the ring for a fake, and pocketed £500 cash. But where is the cash? His wallet has been lifted!
"That bird" has conned the conmen, and she's got the genuine ring too!
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5.1 The Bishop Rides Again (1966)- the pilot for All Gas and Gaiters.
The script isn't as good as the characters that are created by four master actors, William Mervyn as a bumbling bishop, Robertson Hare as, well, himself, Derek Nimmo as the shy chaplain and John Barron as the terror of a dean.
A Cathedral windfall- a £60,000 bequest, on condition the bishop reinstates the ancient tradition of a visitation by St Ogg on a milk white horse to donate a pair of white stockings to every chaste maiden, to a total of 40. The bishop's plan for a happy joy ride in the car is scotched by the dean ("I'm interrupting a festivity of some kind") inisisting that to comply with the will, the bishop must recapture the atmosphere of the middle ages and go in friar's garb.
Noote purchases the stockings from a drapers (a missed comedy opportunity), but a policeman (James Beck) thinks he's acting in a suspicious manner, and the subsequent scene with him questioning the bishop about a purchase of 40 stockings is well executed.
Off trots the bishop, next morning, on his steed, down the high street, lead by Noote. They knock optimistically on the first door. Are you married? - is the phrasing they've finally decided upon. A promising start when the answer is returned- No. But her crying baby withdraws the bishop's gift. No luck in fact all morning, until a seven year old gives the bishop some hope. But Noote's conscience is a little troubled.
With rain falling, their dreary procession moves onward. Mistakenly thinking the bishop is offering a £30 prize, there's a feeble rumpus with the policeman, ended when the archdeacon drives up with the "getaway" car. With 39 pairs of stockings left ("the 39 articles") all seems lost, until a fortuitous tour of the cathedral by novice nuns solves the problem. Happily concludes the weary bishop, "it's at moments like this, one knows deep down, that one is in the right job!"
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All Gas and Gaiters
Derek Nimmo played 'Noote', The Bishop was the reliable William Mervyn and Robertson Hare completed a wonderful trio of bumbling but sympathetic clerics, whilst John Barron's dreaded Dean gave some bite to the fun. Also see Comedy Playhouse

The Bishop Gets the Sack (1967) -Not so serious as it might sound, the title refers to the fact that the Bishop isn't up to hosting a TV programme about St Ogg's Cathedral. The producer (John le Mesurier) then tries out the Dean and Archdeacon, before discovering Noote is a TV natural
The Bishop Sees a Ghost - These days Bishops do keep all night vigils, but do they ever sit up all night with a bag of flour to catch a ghost?
The Bishop Loves His Neighbour (1970 colour) - Exhortations from the Dean about his Good Neighbour Week have the desired effect on the Bishop. He gladly donates to the Dean his tickets to an absorbing lecture on the Pentateuch
The Bishop Beats the System -"The Cathedral is impregnable," says the Dean. This boast thanks to his new security system. However the Bishop persuades Noote to hide in the cathedral after evensong to 'borrow' the cloak of St Ogg, which can be used to raise much needed funds
The Bishop Warms Up (1971 b/w print) - The choir have to sleep in the Bishop's palace, which means He has to share with Noote. As Noote's room is right by the new central heating boiler, it gets very very hot. But worse is in store on the morrow, as the Dean has planned an extra long Music Fest...
The Bishop Entertains- Before the Bishop "filled out" he knew Poppy. He now wants her to open the Garden Party and, more importantly, to propose to her. Best moment is when the Dean and his wife mistake the archdeacon, dressed as an ugly fortune teller, for the bishop's intended
The Bishop Gives a Present - In the best of the surviving stories, the Dean has been seen with a blonde in Bridge Street, and "after ten o'clock!" In the magazine 'Her' is a letter from "Worried St Oggs." And now Mrs Pugh-Critchley (Joan Sanderson) wants to see the Bishop on a "rather delicate matter." Of course it's all a mistake - blame the Dean for keeping on and on about his silver wedding anniversary!
The Bishop Shows His Loyalty - Jealousy, as the Dean is invited to Windsor to preach his long winded sermon on Anglo-Methodist relations. But whilst pulling down the Bishop's tree, he is hurt, and the Bishop has to preach the sermon. His views are diametrically opposed to the Dean's, but the invitation turns out to be not to the Castle at all, but to a conference of Anglicans and Methodists...
The Bishop Has a Rest - Saturday afternoon, and time for the Bishop and the Archdeacon to put their feet up, but alas, their slumbers are disturbed by the Dean ringing the cathedral bells. There follows a battle for silence in which for once the Dean isn't really the winner
The Bishop Loses His Chaplain - Mrs Pugh-Critchley comes to the palace to watch the forbidden television (forbidden by the dean of course). Ostensibly she's here to chaperone her niece who is being "entertained" by Noote - in his bedroom. But surely Noote can't need watching?
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Steptoe and Son
A huge hit, we confess to being late converts, though not fans.

1.1 The Offer (1962 Comedy Playhouse pilot) -
Returning from his totting round with a cartful of junk, Harold is slagged off by Albert. It's not just the quality of the rags, it's the way Harold treats the horse, everything- Albert has it in for his son. He's been having it too easy, says the dad who has to rest at home. Harold is frustrated, he's being held back by his dad, specially with the birds. It's impressive how quickly the two characters are so quickly established in this first story, even down to Wilfred Brambell's facial contortions, though maybe this opener is more firmly grounded in the trade than some of their later studies. After this twelve minute scene in the yard, we move to inside the run down Steptoe household. Harold's unique method of tipping the dregs from wine bottles into half full ones is a classic example of his social aspirations- "I'm a connoiseur." Albert by contrast swigs the beaujolais, even though it's been accidentally contaminated with paraffin. The inherent pathos surfaces more strongly as Harold leaves his dad for a new start. "I could have been a company director by now!" But his very words show that the longer he takes over the break, the harder it will be. Out of the gate he attempts to push his cartload of possessions, but it's too weighty. "If I don't go now..." The sad fate of Harold is sealed for the whole series
1.5 The Diploma-
"British Junk for the British!" An interesting argument about the Common Market and the tunnel give this the feel of a mild period satire, as Harold and Albert explore the politics of it all in their own way. The story begins with a nice contrast between the two: Harold the intellectual, reading as he goes totting, and Albert back home swigging. It's clear business is low: "we can't go on like this." As a study of two "pathetic" strugglers, this is beautifully written, though I find it too genuinely real to be too funny. Harold, realising there's no future, has decided to study for a diploma to become a tv engineer, so whilst he struggles with the intracicacies of thermodynamics, it's Albert who has to do the round with the cart, ringing his bell, and soon discovering the hard facts about the dwindling modern day rag and bone trade. Yet almost inevitably, Harold is not up to the mark. What's a condenser for, inquires Albert of his hopeful offspring. Harold attempts an explanation. Albert looks dubious. Perhaps the main scenes are a little overlong, as Albert points out helpfully "that bit goes there." Suggestion ignored. Fianlly Harold is goaded into switching on the tv he has constructed, but again, the script is just over elaborated as he reaches the point of failure. Albert however makes a few quick changes as poor Harold stands by despairing. "Soon get my diploma," mutters Albert as the set lights up: Here Is The News! Harold admits defeat. To sustain this half hour comedy with but two characters is a fine feat, and it almost works here
3.4 Steptoe a la Cart (1964)
5.7 Men of Property (1970)
6.6 Pot Black
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Our Man at St Mark's
A-R's gentle comedy about a quiet vicar in a quiet parish. starring Leslie Phillips as Rev Andrew Parker with Joan Hickson as the housekeeper, and Anne Lawson as Anne Gibson
Scripts written by James Kelly and Peter Miller. Producer: Eric Maschwitz
To Comedy Menu
1.1 "The Facts of Life" (Wednesday September 25th 1963 9.10pm) -The vicar is preparing his harvest sermon with a rather obvious joke on the horizon... "the most difficult thing of all to practice is tolerance," when of course he's interrupted by his housekeeper and he gets rather ratty with her. But the theme continues nicely through the story as his girlfriend Anne tells him "people think it's funny, people going out with vicars." So she'd like him please not to wear his dog collar at the party tonight. "People don't expect vicars to cuddle!" But he feels he must wear that collar even though "it might inhibit people." Parishioners are bringing in produce for the harvest. There's some confusion over the two children who do so, Johnny (Kevin Bennett) is called 'Philip' at one point whilst Casey (Gillian Gostling) is introduced by the vicar as 'Tracey'. It's she who informs our vicar that "I'm going to have a baby" but as she's only about nine there's an awkward conversation ahead for Our Man. How does she know? he manages to ask. "A woman knows these things." Further gentle questioning gets to the heart of it all: Johnny must marry her "because he kissed me." Poor Johnny is told to apologise for such behaviour and as the vicar orders him, he realises he also should show some tolerance over that burning issue of the Dog Collar.

Details of the remainder of the four series:
1.2 A Joyful Noise (October 2nd 1963)
Directed by Christopher Hodson.
Reginald Barrett... Mr Donald
Julian Holloway... Mike Daniels
The Classmates... The Scramblers
Kevin Bennett... Johnny Marshall
Clive Marshall... Tom
An attempt to pep up the singing at St Mark's leads to trouble with the organist. However Andrew, on the very verge of defeat, gets what he wants in a highly unconventional manner...
1.3 Holier Than Thou (October 9th 1963)
1.4:Side by Side (October 16th 1963)
1.5 A Previous Conviction (October 23rd 1963 9.25pm)
Directed by Geoffrey Hughes.
Warren Mitchell... Joe Meyer
Frank Tregear... Albert
Freddie Jones... George Gregory
Andrew's attempt to give an ex-convict a fresh start in life becomes more than complicated when Anne decides to take a hand.
1.6 The Man Who Came to Lunch (November 13th 1963)
1.7: The Executive (November 27th 1963)

After seven episodes in 1963 Leslie sadly left, but the programme was so popular it returned the following year for a
Second series from Rediffusion, starring
Donald Sinden as Rev Stephen Young, vicar of Felgate with
Joan Hickson returning in her role as housekeeper Mrs Peace,
plus Robbie the dog.
All Scripts were by James Kelly and Peter Miller.

Details of the stories-
2.1 Quite Nice in Amersham (Thursday April 16th 1964 7.30pm)
Directed by Richard Doubleday.
Joyce Carey... Mrs Roberts
Meg Ritchie... Jean
David Hemmings... Bill Palmer
On the day of his arrival, the new vicar finds himself at cross purposes with the redoutable Mrs Peace.

2.2 The Desk (April 23rd 1964)
Directed by Bill Turner
Ron Welling/Billy Cornelius... Furniture men
Jean Harvey... Mrs Mitchell
Ronald Leigh-Hunt... Mr Mitchell
Karen Lea... Secretary's voice
In his efforts to furnish the vicarage, the Rev Stephen furnishes himself with a problem... how to repair a broken marriage?

2.3 Brother Midnight (April 30th 1964)
Directed by Cyril Coke
Patricia Garwood... Miss Thompson
Brian Cronin.... Charlie
Jeffrey Shankley... Pete
Clive Marshall... Dave
Dudley Hunte... Mickey
Tina Martin... Pamela
Ray Anton and the Peppermint Men... Youth club group
A black boy wants to join the youth club, and Stephen has a fight on his hands.

2.4 The Runaway (May 7th 1964)
Patricia Garwood... Carol (also in 2.3, 5, 8, 9, 13)
Rev Stephen Young has the delightful task of seeing a friend home, but returning full of joy, he notices a leg sticking out of a bush

2.5 Gillian's Day (May 14th 1964)
Directed by Bill Turner
Patricia Garwood... Carol Thompson
Maris Tant... Gillian
Arthur Howard... Mr Matthews
Desmond Davies... Dr Farmer
A cat may look at a king- but should a really nice young lady keep smiling at the vicar in church?

2.6 No Bank for Sid (May 21st 1964)
Director: Bill Turner
David Lodge... Sid Morrison
William Marlowe... Albert
Barry Henderson... Mechanic
Linda Polan... Rachel Morrison
David Rosen... David Morrison
Philip Yardley... Mark Morrison
The vicar decides to buy a car, and meets a man as unusual as the car he sells.

2.7 A Question of Tactics (May 28th 1964)
Director: Christopher Hodson
Anthony Blackshaw... Tom
Geoffrey Denton... Mr Barrington
Kevin Stoney... Hopkins
Joe Greig... Jeffries
George Lee... Policeman
£100 is urgently needed for church repairs. Rev Stephen goes after the money in a manner his parishioners find somewhat staggering.

2.8 Too Good to Be True (June 4th 1964)
Directed by Bill Turner
Jean Trend... Deidre Bradshaw
John Howard... Thomas
Alan Browning... Alec Bradshaw
Eric Dodson... Mr Frost
Patricia Garwood... Carol Thompson
In which Rev Stephen, after a fleeting dream of champagne and caviar, deals firmly with a most unusual situation.

2.9 Rainbow's End (June 11th 1964)
Patricia Garwood... Carol
As a host at the children's outing, Rev Stephen is not successful

2.10 We Do It on Saturday (June 18th 1964)
Directed by Bill Turner
Linda Marlowe,,, Vivienne
John Harvey... Bernard Campbell
Barry Warren... Jeremy
Drama enters the vicar's life, while Mrs Peace has an adventure of her own.

2.11 Smoke Without Fire (June 25th 1964)
Directed by Christopher Hodson
Frank Seton... Ticket collector
Carol Mowlam... Jennifer
Peggy Thorpe-Bates... Mrs Thornton
Bette Vivian... Mrs Smith
James Bree... Mr Partridge
John Wentworth... The Bishop
Peter Walker/ Anthony Buckingham... Little boys
In which the vicar finds himself the subject of malicious gossip, with almost fatal results...

2.12 Harry the Yo-Yo (July 2nd 1964)
Director: Bill Turner
Harry Fowler... Harry Danvers (also in 2.13)
PG Stephens... Mike
Hedley Colson... Policeman
Rev Stephen catches a burglar red handed, and leaves him rather red in the face.

2.13 The Pleasure of Your Company (July 29th 1964, 9.10pm)
Director: Bill Turner
Harry Fowler... Harry Danvers
Patricia Garwood... Carol Thompson
Ursula Hirst... Mrs Thompson
Malcolm Knight... Jake
Norman Hartley... Motor cycle policeman
Thanks to the well-intentioned efforts of Harry the Yo-Yo, the course of true love very nearly comes to a standstill.

The third series starring
Donald Sinden as Rev Stephen Young,
with Joan Hickson, and
Harry Fowler as Harry Danvers (Yo-Yo - from end of series 2)
(Mr Robertson who played Robbie the dog, had died and was replaced).
The filmed sequences were made at Denham.

3.1 A Funny Thing Happened to Amanda (April 26th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Alan Baulch... Rob Barton (also 3.5)
Graham Rigby... Hargreaves
Anne Woodward... Mrs Hargreaves
Victor Maddern... Mr Burton
Pamela Hewes... Mrs Burton
Humphrey Morton... Chaplain
A most unusual couple seek sanctuary at the altar.

3.2 The Invader (May 3rd 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Gretchen Franklin... Alice Perry
Charles Rea... Frank Perry
Joan Harsant... 1st woman
Nicholas Selby... Brother Joseph
John Blythe... Morris
Raymond Mason... Reynolds
A kill-joy in Felgate? Rev Stephen goes hunting.
(No story May 10th - Party Political Broadcast)

3.3 Four Hundred Years' Thick (May 17th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Francesca Annis... Frances Harding
Karen Lea... Mrs Butcher
Coral Fairweather... Mrs Harding
The vicarage is redecorated, and Rev Stephen in involved in a problem of love at first sight.
(No story May 24th)

3.4 Objection Sustained (May 31st 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
June Barry... Mary Burton
Jon Rollason... Charles Stokes
Trevor Bannister... Frederick Barret
Pat Connell... Stan Fisher
The eternal triangle sparks off a rather unusual disturbance in church.

3 5 Storm in a Cocoa Cup (June 7th 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Martin Norton... Anthony
Alan Baulch... Rob Barton
Brian Hayes... Rev Murdoch
Martin Matthews... Rev Marlow
Graham Leaman... Rev Bailey
Rev Stephen finds himself threatened with trades union action from a most unexpected quarter.

3.6 A Question of Degree (June 14th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Ann Bell... Jane Dawson
Susan Danbury... Jennifer
Mark Kingston... Jennifer's father
Eileen Page... Jennifer's mother
Terry Brooks... Mike
Patti Brooks... Mike's mother
John Nicholas... Mike's father
A go-ahead young lady tries to bring Rev Stephen's Sunday School up to date with somewhat shattering results.

3.7 Pay Now, Live Later (June 21st 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Terence Alexander... Mr Barrett
Margaret Durnell... Mrs Frost
Freddie Earlle... Mr Fenton
Roy Spencer... Doctor
Jack Bligh... Mr Wilson
Jane Bolton... Nurse
Maurice Peckman... Post office clerk
When Mrs Peace decides to take out an insurance policy, Rev Stephen finds himself unexpectedly involved.

3.8 Ninety-Nine and One (June 28th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Clive Morton... Bishop
Frank Sieman... Gatekeeper
Anthony Sagar... Bill Taylor
Anne Ogden... secretary
Freddie Jones... Benson
Roy Madron... Paddy
Stephen seeks to increase his flock, and the bishop asks divine forgiveness for a small but judicious piece of blackmail.

3.9 Edie's Ace (July 5th 1965)
Director: Bill Turner
Campbell Singer... Geoffrey Ruston
Helen Ryan... Miss Esdaile
Fay Compton... Edie Russell
Walter Sparrow... Porter
Rev Stephen finds himself involved in a battle against the new motorway.

3.10 The Galloping Major (July 12th 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Derek Francis... Major Hubert Paxton
Gwen Cherrell... Celia Paxton
The vicarage suffers more than somewhat from the well-meaning assistance of Our Man from Burma.

3.11 Know Thine Enemy (July 19th 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Brian Vaughan... Insp Gibbs
Walter Hall... Constable White
Jane Evers... Library receptionist
Frank Henderson... Hargreaves
Winifred Hill... Mrs Higgins
Godfrey Quigley... Father Patrick
John Miller... Black magician
The day-to-day problems of a country vicar are complicated by something unusually serious, an invasion of black magic.

3.12 The Yo-Yo Again (July 26th 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
John Scott Martin... Mr Gates
Victor Brooks... Det Sgt Martin
James Beck... PC Bailey
Charles Cullum... Magistrate
Philip Anthony... Prosecuting solicitor
Our long-reformed sexton and gravedigger, Yo-Yo, suffers a sad fall from grace, into the arms of a magistrates court.

3.13 Steps to the Cathedral (August 2nd 1965)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Clare Owen... Young woman
Tony Steedman... Archdeacon
Clive Morton... Bishop
Desmond Jordan... Michael Lawrence
Rev Stephen is faced with the problem 'To marry or not to marry,' and finds himself in a situation which may critically affect his own future.

Series 4 saw Donald Sinden promoted to Venerable Stephen Young, archdeacon at Lynchester.
With Joan Hickson, and
Clive Morton as The Bishop.
A new dog was introduced- Caber.
Producer: Eric Maschwitz (as series 1)

4.1 The Fall of the House of Lawther (July 4th 1966 9.10pm)
Director: Bill Turner
Michael Gwynn... Rev Michael Lawther
Daphne Slater... Mrs Lawler
Roy Godfrey... Builder
Stephen finds himself with a problem vicar on his hands.

4.2 Love All (July 11th 1966)

4.3 The Peppermint Man (July 18th 1966)
Director: Bill Turner
Peter Vaughan... Rev John Spencer
Martin Wyldeck... Dr Grant
Margaret Ward... Mrs Wells
Dorothea Phillips... Mrs Evans
Denis Holmes... Publican
It transpires that Rev John Spencer is by no means a teetotaller, and Stephen Young feels himself bound to take strong measures.

4.4 The Silent Village (July 25th 1966 10.30pm)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Same cast as for 4.3
Stephen's attempt to discipline John Spencer is finally brought to nothing, by the concerted action of the Peppermint Man's parishioners.

4.5 The Talking Machine (August 1st 1966 9.10pm)
Directed by Richard Doubleday
Harry Fowler... Harry
David Langton... Sir Geoffrey Challis MP
Malcolm Webster... Gregson
Jonathon Elsom... Mr Burns
In which Stephen Young becomes involved in local politics, and finds himself in a battle with the member of Lynchester.

4.6 Night Call (August 8th 1966)
(no Clive Morton)
Director: Bill Turner
Paul Hardwick... Mr Mills
Pauline Yates... Mrs Parry
Tom Watson... Mr Parry
George Cooper... Inspector
A rainy night... a half-wrecked car... and the archdeacon finds himself having to deal with a most unusual case of the eternal triangle.

4.7 Holy Yo-Yo
Directed by Bill Turner
Harry Fowler... Harry
Richard Hurndal... The Dean
Eric Chitty... Mr Andrews
Fred Ferris... Mr Jackson
Barney Gilbraith... Man in pub
Karen Lea... Mother
Colin Pilditch... Boy
Harry Danvers achieves his life ambition to be allowed to wear a cassock, though, alas, not for long.

4.8 Are You There? (August 22nd 1966)
Director: Bill Turner
Peter Copley... Mr Dexter
Kathleen Michael... Mrs Vandervell
Shirley Cain... Mary Dexter
Mary Holder... Woman at seance
Stephen finds himself inadvertently involved in a contact with Spiritualism. Should Mr Dexter be allowed to ruin his life by clinging to a contact with the Beyond?

4.9 Cross Your Heart and Hope to Die (August 29th 1966)
Director: Richard Doubleday
Harry Fowler... Harry
Desmond Jordan... Michael lawrence
Janet Hannington... Jennifer (Mrs Peace's niece)
The visit of Mrs Peace's little niece to the archdeaconry almost leads to a fracas between Stephen and the Bishop.

4.10 Ships That Pass (September 5th 1966)

4.11 My Uncle Oswald (September 12th 1966)

4.12 When Will They Ever Learn? (September 19th 1966)

4.13 There Are More Things...(December 28th 1966, final story)
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It's a Square World

A unique series with Michael Bentine. Here was Goon-type humour of course, that was certainly influential on the later much cruder Monty Python.

* The Craftsman (D Guyler)/ Holding Up the Queen Mary (cartoon)/ Pretenders to the Throne: King Bert (Clive Dunn)/ Doomsbury Lifeboat/ Dr Albert (DG) and his Instant Breakfast/ The Haunted Castle (model)/ The Art Expert (Dick Emery)/ Olympic Training at Lord Noshing's (MB)
* Dr Albert Dottle (D Guyler) and his tea driven car/ Slobodian Oil Treaty (MB + Clive Dunn)/ The Antique Fakers/ The Brain (DG): crooks/ Kamakaze Beetle (model)/ HMS Incredible/ The Admiral (CD)
* On Westminster Bridge, saluting the flag/ The Ornithologist (Leon Thau)/ United Nations Reporter (Ronnie Barker)/ Cartoon of Benny Lee as he sings/ MB on the Common Market/ French in Schools/ Maggie Fitzgibbon sings/ The Brigadier General (RB)- the zaniest moment is defusing a ticking cello
* Last of series: Viewers' questions/ Headlines/ Assassination of the King of Slobodia/ The Gunsmith (Frank Thornton)/ Aerosols/ A Country House/ Russian Lecture/ Alderman Grimshaw (FT) and the Holiday Trippers' Invasion

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Dickie Henderson Show
See also A-R Shows, Dickie Henderson Half Hour.
To Dickie Henderson Show Research section.
"It really is a happy show," claimed co-star June Laverick. "I expect there are many many husbands and wives who can see the funny side of our domestic arguments. I think this is why the show has been so successful."

7.1 (April 29th 1964) - "A punch on the nose never solved anything," Dickie tells us. But he nearly comes to blows with William Franklyn who has a great part as Greg, ski champion, chess champion, pianist extraordinnaire, lion hunter, in fact champion everything. He has an answer to everything Dickie throws at him: "it must be very stimulating married to a comedian," he observes to June. Dickie and Jack try to "shatter the image" of Greg. Failure until Dickie tries to fake an accident. That fails too leaving Greg free to take June out for a meal. OK, Dickie finally admits he's jealous. But there's a nice punchline as the superman is finally found out.

8.6 (September 13th 1965) - That master of the one-liner Dickie reminds us that "women are like politicians- we don't always agree with them, but we can't live without them." With such sentiments it's no surprise that June is in tears - she's found a 14 year old love letter from Dickie. "Well I can't go round spouting that juvenile mush now," he claims. But to prove he's still sentimental at heart, he gets Jack (Lionel Murton) to help him buy some pearls for June. To repay Jack, Dickie helps him by composing a love letter to Jack's girl friend (Norma Foster), based on his old stuff to June ("the whole world was filled with warmth and light") and sending 3 dozen red roses. June discovers Dickie has sent her flowers and finds out he's gone to see her and so thinks Dickie must be chasing after this girl. In a nice scene, she confides her worries to Jack who dreaming of his girl tells June the girl is "the most beautiful doll I've ever seen," which makes June even more upset. She overhears Dickie in conversation with her saying "beautiful, you've got just what I've been looking for! Shall I take this off now?" Of course the misunderstanding is sorted out and June gets her cultured pearls.
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Arthur Haynes Show
Arthur was a huge hit for ATV. Although most internet sites state that he made fifteen series and over 150 shows, which ran from 1957 to 1966, a convention we follow here, Arthur did also make some earlier shows, his very first being in February 1956.
From April to June 1956 he starred in Get Happy with the immortal Nicholas Parsons, Maria Pavlou and Ken Morris. Joan Savage also appeared. Others in the first show on 24th April were Four in a Chord, Malcolm Goddard, Josephine Gordon, Jane Kimm, Judy Collins, and Sylvia Herklets (later known as Sylvia Francis).
During October to December 1956 Haynes starred in The Arthur Haynes Show, presented by George and Alfred Black. Ken Morris was again featured alongside Joan Savage. Malcolm Goddard, and the George Mitchell Vocal Group also were in the show on 17th October.
Neither of these series ran every week, but they were Haynes' first starring series on television.
Reviews of a few surviving shows:
(from series 4 maybe, 1959) with Aileen Cochrane and Harry Jacobson (piano). Nicholas Parsons plays a "hit and run motorist" and a vacuum salesman, Arthur then plays a camp tailor.
(from series 6- screened 1960) with Aileen Cochrane singing round the theatre. As well as a short sketch of Arthur's married life ("if he's not home by 8 I'm leaving him"), there's 'Candlelight' a tv expose of dodgy garages - and with Arthur as the mechanic, there's plenty to expose. A more substantial offering is the typical conflict between a snooty Nicholas Parsons who is complaining to Arthur about all his shoddy workmanship redecorating his home. Arthur's absurd excuses get NP in more and more of a lather.
11.1 (possibly- December 1962) In the opening show in a new series, a fascinating intro as Arthur congratulates the thin audience for turning out on such a foggy night. He has one scene with Nicholas Parsons as a solicitor who is looking into Arthur's alleged noble connections. Then he plays a burglar teaching new boy, Michael Caine, how to do it. Guest: Yana
11.3 (possibly) December 22nd 1962 A Christmas Special with Wendy Richard. Also in a sketch with Kenneth Griffith, Arthur plays a tramp feeding off the dustbins outside the Ritz.
12.2 (January 11th 1964) with the Dave Clark Five - a classic show with AH at the peak of his powers. In the first sketch, NP is a doctor in a first class carriage, being pestered by AH. Then the two tramps report to the police (NP) the theft of fourpence ("fourpence!"). NP picks up Arthur's mispronounciation of "Mission Hut" like a real pro.

With Arthur's sudden death in 1966, ITV were deprived of one of their top comedy shows. The nicest contemporary little tribute I have seen was this, "how Ealing will miss that white sports car of his, and that happy smiling face at the wheel."
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The Army Game
Thankfully the surviving shows have all been released on dvd. Mixed reactions to the series nowadays, nostalgia certainly, poor scripts certainly, but just a few treasures, definitely.
Here's a contemporary account of the very first episode on June 19th 1957: "what a lovely bunch of characters these inhabitants of Nether Hopping are. The story line was a little thin but it really didn't matter. Sid Colin is so ingenious with his script that whatever his characters say or do they are bound to make you laugh because they are drawn so carefully. The camerawork was first class throughout and I'm sure this programme will set a fine example of how author director and cast work as a team. This show must run for many months to come." It certainly did!
Best episode: 5.8 The Kindest Man in Britain, that epitome of a sergeant, William Hartnell, is forced into being nice to everyone.
From the stories with Alfie Bass and Bill Fraser, 4.37 Out of This World is an almost surreal story with everything turned upside down.
Dud episodes: I'm afraid too many stories relied on corn, and the skill of the accomplished actors to bale the scriptwriters out. Particularly trite are 4.3 Snudge's Budgie, and 5.4 The Marshall's Baton.
It's a shame that so few of the earlier series with Michael Medwin have survived, for these laid the foundation for the show's success. From those surviving, it's difficult to see quite what all the excitement was about.

The programmes below are listed in the order given with the Network dvds. However I have added some dates given in TV Times, which did sometimes give incorrect information, which may suggest a different running order. However TV Times often also failed to indicate the title of the story or provide anything more than a generalised cast list, so it is possible the Granada archive is the more reliable source here.
The girl who closed and opened the canteen door before and after the advertising break was Ann Taylor, who was also hostess on Spot the Tune.

1.7 The Mad Bull (September 1957) - a gorgeous ten day break in the South of France is offered to the army's smartest, most proficient men. Hut 29 suddenly become so proficient Sgt Bullimore is puzzled. He decides Popeye is "off his chump" when he sees him chatting to a non existent girl, though he's supposed to be practising his French. A muddled scene follows between William Hartnell and Geoffrey Sumner that is beautifully performed, ending up with the major thinking it's the sergeant who has gone mad. So he calls in a psychiatrist (Frank Williams)
1.13 The New Officer -Lt ffinch, "a right Charlie" is put in temporary charge at Nether Hopping and finds Hut 29 "a bally disgwace." Can he make them "A1 toppers"? He vainly attempts 'Fire Dwill,' but ends up wegwetting it of course. Anthony Snell as ffinch enjoys a lovely part as the upper cwust officer, despite the odd fluffed gag, though it's a pity the comedy ideas rely so much on corn and slapstick
2.1 WRAACS - three extra beds are needed in Hut 29, but it turns out they're for three army girl privates. Some mice nearly get them evicted, and 'nearly' sums up this story which never quite exploits the situation, despite Sgt Bullimore being half propositioned by his opposite number
4.1 Snudge and Jimmy Goblin (October 1959) - A lucky mascot brings Snudge good luck as he becomes richer than "the dreams of average." In a slow starting story that gains momentum, Flogger convinces him the mascot is now cursed
4.2 Take Over Bid (advertised for Nov 13th 1959)- Farmer Harris offers £200 for the redundant Nether Hopping Camp, so Flogger invents the Happiness Universal Trust which offers £1,000. Brig Stubbs' brother in the City (William Mervyn) offers £2,000 and soon offers are at one million. The rival bidders meet at a most unusual board room conference, presided by Mr Bisley
4.3 Enter a Dark Stranger (advertised for Oct 9th 1959, first week of transmission for this series)- This must have been intended as the first of this series, for we are introduced to eager new recruit Dooley, whom the "monster" Snudge places in Hut 29, thinking he will improve them. But is he rich? Flogger and Botosie think so, then Snudge starts greasing up to him. But he ain't, and somewhere along the line the script misses the thread of the first good idea
4.4 Snudge's Budgie (advertised for Oct 16th 1959)- A feeble script in which Bisley gives Snudge's budgie its freedom, leading to the moribund Snudge mourning his loss, "gone and never called me father"
4.5 Where there's Smoke (advertised for Oct 30th 1959) - Is Snudge man enough to give up smoking? With Basher (Arthur Mullard), Flogger bets he can't, so to help tempt him, Bootsie is volunteered to become Snudge's "batsman." To keep him from smoking, Snudge puts on a hypnotism record (which clearly doesn't play), and after various inconsequential attempts to lure Snudge into a drag, Bisley gets hypnotised too
4.6 The Camera Never Lies (advertised for Oct 23rd 1959) - Snudge is after missing stores and Prof Spratt (David Nettheim) has filmed the lads in flagrante. Facing court martial, Flogger fiddles a bit of film trickery with his film The Secret Life of CSM Snudge, "me sir? Not never"
4.7 When the Poppies Bloom Again - Weasel (Brian Weske) is "poison," Flogger's ex-mate, and he buys poppies from Snudge at five bob each, and that lands Snudge inside. Best moment perhaps, is when Flogger gets Hut 29 to masquerade as desperate gangsters to try and scare Weasel
4.8 Miracle in Hut 29 (very probably shown Dec 25th 1959)- Flogger gambles the £20 kitty for the Children's Christmas Party... and loses. Hut 29 have to construct their own rather amateurish gifts, while Snudge and Pocket vie for the role of Santa. At the party, with lots of enthusiastic teenage extras, here comes Santa, "silence you 'orrible lot!" Other equally unlikely Santas appear, but then the real one, with real presents, and all ends aaah, so happily
4.9 Night Train to Itchwick (advertised for Nov 20th 1959)- Snudge joins the same express train as the lads, who are returning to camp without passes or tickets. Eric Barker as the ticket inspector as well as Snudge chase the miscreants up and down the corridors, so much so that Bisley's "nerves get goose pimples"
4.10 Officers and Gentlemen (advertised for Nov 27th 1959) - 'Major Bisley' has fallen for the delightful Penny (Thelma Ruby), so has to resort to elaborate substerfuge as "the contemporary Valentino" showing her round 'his' camp. Her ex-fiance interrupts a cosy tea, "Penelope, envelop me!"
4.11 Tiger Bisley (advertised for Dec 4th 1959) - Basher Briggs (Arthur Mullard) seems to have been painting a lot of actors' teeth black, for they have all gone to the dentist (John Glyn-Jones). Also there with the worst case ever of dentalphobia is Bisley, who, to be treated, is hypnotised. Remaining in this state, he's now a match for Basher and even in training for a fight against Butch Carver. Yet when he is at last de-hypnotised, Flogger's irregular betting patterns seem about to be exposed
4.12 Bisley Court Martial - Bisley is in court, accused of murdering Snudge. Major Price (Philip Latham) is the prosecuting counsel, while only Cpt Pockett is to defend Bootsie. In flashbacks we see how it happened in the NCO's Ablutions, it's all a bit too serious, until a splendid scene when Flogger gives his distorted rose tinted version. In the end Bisley comes clean as the script tails off again. (Note- ref to 4.4, suggesting this story might possibly be placed earlier in this list)
4.13 Long Walk - 5am and Hut 29 are back from the dogs, "gotcher," cries Snudge grimly. However Cpt Pocket believes Flogger's hopeful tale that they were on a long distance walk. Thus they are volunteered for the Birmingham to London walk, Snudge to accompany so the lads don't cadge a lift down the M1. There's an odd scene with a huge map before Snudge is given the slip. Also in this story: Geoffrey Palmer, Robert Dorning and Reginald Marsh
4.14 Happy New Year
4.15 The Invisible Man - Leonard Bone was in the pub when he should've been on guard duty. Flogger invents his twin brother Gerald Bone to try and get him off, this Man Who Never Was making Snudge suspect something "double dodgy" is going on
4.16 The Bowler Hatting of Pocket
4.17 The Soft Life
4.18 Son of Snudge - One of the best Army Game stories. Snudge returns from a psychology course having picked up new disciplinary ideas. Here's an enjoyable parody of 60's culture as he's no longer, argues Bootsie, "all lovely and orrible." Instead the amateur psychologist scolds his charges, "you've been naughty boys!" The lads look on rather blankly. His new approach is allegedly based on that eminent psychiatrist "Fred," and Hut 29 have never had it so good as Snudge tries to be like a father to his men. To teach him a lesson Bootsie deliberately behaves like a five year old (not a difficult job for him) as he goes to Snudge's home as his "son." Mrs Snudge (Marjorie Rhodes) fawns over him and 'daddy' tells him a goodnight story in a magnificently surreal scene as Bootsie lies in bed cuddling his teddy and his puppet doll that closely resembles Snudge. With mummy and daddy away at the pictures (a nice little take off of cinema making fun of tv only in reverse), Flogger enjoys celebrating Bootsie's sixth birthday with a lively party with nice grown up girls
4.19 A Rocket Called FRED - Fanshaw's Robot Explosive Device, destined for Woomera, ends up at Nether Hopping, and it's "terribly dangerous." Cpt Pocket's lecture on the rocket is little help for the lads who are ordered to fire it: "what's that ticking noise?"
4.20 Don't Send My Boy to Prison - Peanuts Perry (Bernard Cribbins) has escaped from prison and selected Hut 29 for his hideout. But a ten mile walk followed by spud bashing and Snudge out to make him Roasted Peanuts convinces him prison must be better than this
4.21 A Piece of Cake - Cpt Pocket wants to reconcile Hut 29 with CSM Snudge with a presentation cake, but Len and Bootsie inadvertently eat it, so "the spontaneous demonstration of affection" falls flat. Len bakes a replacement cake to which the vengeful Bootsie adds mahogany varnish with other goodies like Plaster of Paris. (Note: despite credits, Mario Fabrizi not in this)
4.22 Never Volunteer
4.23 A Marriage Has Been Arranged
4.24 The Good Old Days
4.25 A Question in the House - Over-the-top story of an MP (Donald Morley) who investigates cruelty that Hut 29 have written to him about. But, as that "fiend in human shape" Sgt.Snudge demonstrates, they make him look "a proper nana". Perhaps that's one thing an MP is capable of
4.26 The Claude Snudge Story - In this take-off of This is Your Life, Paul Carpenter plays 'Enoch Anderson' the host, relating Snudge's life story. The basis is his autobiography which has "not witheld no punches." His old headmaster praises him as "the cleverest boy I ever taught," until he realises he's talking about Snudge, who he concludes, was "unteachable"! A policeman calls him a "lazy layabout," and Col Jack Scarface Howard relates the day Snudge threw grenades at him. No wonder Snudge describes telly as "invented to fill the minds of vacant idiots... the screen of Satan"
4.27 April Fool - Snudge tricks Hut 29 with a promise of beer, so they of course try to get their own back. April Fool's Day gives good scope for plenty of practical jokes until Brigadier Statfold calls to ask Snudge to be his new RSM. But alas, Snudge thinks the man's a phoney and grossly insults the brigadier, "get your hair cut"
4.28 Goodnight Ladies
4.29 One of the Lads
4.30 Holding the Baby - Back from London, Bisley has somehow acquired a baby which makes the most unrealistic baby noises you're ever likely to hear. Hut 29 get "lumbered" until the mother is found. Cpt Pocket's in-tray is useful as a cradle, though Snudge smells something "double dodgy". The plot is over complicated with a brigadier's inspection with Snudge accused of being the father when alleged mum Lucy is questioned. Best moment is when Rita Webb chats inconsequentially with Bootsie, asking him how he gets his washing so white. I also liked Snudge's attempt to soothe baby to sleep, "1- 2- silence!"
4.31 Penpals Anonymous - Bootsie is enjoying being miserable cos of Snudge, who is also feeling very lonely. Both decide to get a pen pal and coincidentally correspond with each other. The time comes to meet up, but it is hardly a success
4.32 Are You Receiving Me? - "Biggest ham in the district," Claude Snudge beginneth the first lesson on Wireless Telegraphy for Hut 29. They trick their teacher into thinking he's heard an SOS in this ever more tedious story
4.33 The Efficiency Expert
4.34 Bull By the Horn - So "diabolical" is Bootsie's trumpet playing, that Snudge ticks him off with, "you ain't no Phyllis Calvert." To impress the brigadier (Alexander Archdale), Bootsie is ordered to learn all the army bugle calls, being given the job of sounding reveille at 6am. By 9.30 all is still quiet. Note- there's a topical reference to that month's wedding of Princess Margaret
4.35 A Touch of the Other - Prisoner Bisley is guilty of writing 'orrible things on the wall. Operation Larceny nicks secret documents from Cpt Pocket's safe and makes Snudge believe Bisley has fled with them to Russia and Nikita. Snudge: "she's not only foreign, she's bald." Rumbling the plot, Snudge tries counter trickery and gets locked in the safe
4.36 The Feud
4.37 Out of This World - Was Bisley intended for this world? asks Snudge. As Bisley stokes the coke in the boiler he turns into the first man to go to the moon. A US General (Lionel Murton) has found the man to make that journey, "the cream of humanity," though Snudge later objects, "you're not even the sour milk." "I've done it," cries Bootsie, as he lands on the moon, but soon realises, "I want to go home." The inventive script introduces him to a moon man, Nel, who is Ted Lune alias Len, for everything up here is back to front. That includes Egduns, who crowns Bisley as a general, and as the top brass, Bisley has to do all the menial tasks, for everything is, as remarked, back to front. Of course it's only a dream, but I just loved those absurd space suits
4.38 Emergency Hut 29 - Bootsie catches flu, malingerin' claims Snudge, who then goes down with it himself. In isolation, it's all but the Bootsie and Snudge show. Bisley "ebbs away" and is wheeled away by Dr Flogger
5.1 The Return of the Pig (September 1960) - Opening story of the final series about Cynthia, the major's pet pig
5.3 The Do-Gooders - Hut 29 is in the dock for gambling. Cpt Pocket pleads with the magistrate: "they come from a broken hut." Brother Catchpole sees the light after hearing the testimony of Geoffrey Hibbert. The others decide that "if you can't beat em, join em." Except the suspicious Sgt Bullimore
5.4 The Marshall's Baton - As part of his education lecture, which Hut 29 are ordered to "enjoy," Cpt Harbottle brings a field marshall's solid gold baton. Major U-B puts it in his safe, but it ends up in his golf bag and even the pig swill. Best line: Awakening late from sleep, Catchpole sees Sgt Bullimore: "Marilyn, you've changed!"
5.5 Insurance - The visit of a newspaper investigating unhappiness in army camps, means all charges are suspended
5.6 It's in the Book - The major gets a shock when war memoirs by Major General Duffy Allington describe him as apathetic. He resolves to give up whisky and even Cynthia. "Alas, poor Cynthia, I knew her well," and other nice parodies of Shakespearian lines follow. Hut 29 have "gone to rack and ruin," and he tries to impose some discipline. To return things to normal Hoskins starts Operation Cynthia, in which the poor major believes the late Cynthia is haunting him. However his credentials are partly restored when fire officer Col Savage (Ballard Berkeley) is impressed by Hut 29's very unorthodox fire drill in which he is covered with sand and foam
5.7 Waltzing Matilda - Chubby Catchpole has no cards on his birthday, but then he receives a chiming watch, but it is really Sgt Bullimore's. The lads try to sort it out and after some odd muddles everyone is happy. Best moments are when several watches appear and the chiming tunes are wrongly identified
5.8 The Kindest Man in Britain - A masterpiece as Sgt Bullimore is unwittingly nominated by Hut 29 as The Kindest Man in Britain. Bullimore has to change character just a little!
Sergeant: " I'm cold and horrible."
Major: "You are the kindest man in Britain, that's an order!"
The Smiling Sergeant Major reads the newspaper headlines, as a news reporter (Keith Marsh) describes him "like a father to Hut 29." TV cameras record this unique phenomenon as an interviewer (Geoffrey Palmer) follows the Kindest Man around. His cover is blown when off camera he vents his true feelings, screaming "I'll roast you alive!"
5.10 (probably) Officer Material - Nice story of a directive sent asking for officer material. Somehow the lads get nominated and end up court martialling the poor old sergeant (William Hartnell)
5.13 The Artist - The Education Officer (Brian Oulton) arranges an Art Class which Hut 29 try to join for their own devious ends. To make it look genuine, Catchpole has to try and paint the sergeant.....

"Bootserella" - a panto from January 1960 showed in the variety series Chelsea at Nine - with Bill Fraser as an unlikely Fairy Godmother, Ted Lune as Prince Charming, and George (Skyport) Moon as Buttons. Also appearing Harry Fowler as the Mirror on the Wall, and Marion Ryan. Alfie Bass is the unattractive Bootserella who marries the gormless Prince
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Bootsie and Snudge
Alfie Bass and Bill Fraser starred. Clive Dunn played his archetypal old man, Johnson, whilst the Hon Sec ("Tup Tup") was my favourite character! A pompous review of the first story (transmitted 23rd September 1960) claimed the scriptwriters "base all their visual - and most of their oral - gags on various forms of disability. No doubt this will have those who liked The Army Game falling over themselves with laughter. For myself I can only abhor the state of television comedy when it cannot rise above childish jokes and inane innuendoes.... there is very little to be said about Alfie Bass and Bill Fraser - they are obviously good businessmen otherwise they wouldn't agree to appear in a programme that lowers the standard of television comedy as much as this does." Anyway, what do critics know? This first programme came second in the national TAM ratings!
1.5 A DAY OFF (21 Oct 1960)- Off on a staff treat on the Romney Marshes there's topical conversation en route on the inefficiency of the railways and speculation such as did Yuri Gagarin have a corridor on his rocket?! A "nightmare" journey in the cold ends at Appledore in the sidings- "we've been shunted!" Out into the blizzard and a walk through the snow to their deserted destination, a fascinating set of railway tracks at a cardboard station
1.8 BLACK THURSDAY (11 Nov 1960)- It's Bootsie's day to clean the front steps. Interesting opportunity for several ageing actors to talk to him - can anyone identify them?
1.13 BATH NIGHT (16 Dec 1960) - Friday Night is time for Snudge's weekly bath, but tonight "pop" goes the geyser. So he has to use the hip bath with Bootsie and Johnson in attendance. So how come he is still bathing in it after dark, outside the club's front door?
1.16 THE HAIRDRESSERS (6 Jan 1961)- Big Harry (Arthur Mullard) slips Bootsie £1 to "stick up your nose". When the horse wins Bootsie has to have a close shave
1.18 LOST LORD (20 Jan 1961)- Normally it's Snudge who takes Lord Hathaway to the park "the high spot of his day." But even though "he don't know the 'ighway code" Bootsie is ordered to take him today. There he finds romance but loses his Lordship in Soho. Inconsequential story
1.24 POT BLACK (3 Mar 1961)- Bootsie needles Snudge into a snooker game- Tup Tup joins Snudge whilst Old Johnson 'helps' Bisley. A lot of "jiggery-pokery" in this dull interlude
1.35 THE PIANIST (19 May 1961)- Bootsie admires a bust of famous pianist "Lipst" (Liszt). "Put a 10 gallon hat on 'im," adds Snudge satirically, "and 'e looks like Maverick!" This is a touching character study by Barry Took and Marty Feldman of a retired concert pianist called Anton Borovik ("and His Harmonica Rascals?"! queries Snudge). Anton is trying to practise for a comeback, but whilst Bisley plays Chopsticks for him, it looks as though "he don't want to play no more." Some nice sequences as Old Johnson sings at the piano, then Mr Montague Bisley dreams of his own concert prowess as he plays "Nocturne in Opus 2 by Lipst in Flat B." Then Snudge, who believes "in hiding my light on in a burning bush" shows Bootsie the way with his hearty rendition of "Ain't She Sweet." After this interlude, since Bisley has some strange "rappaport" with Anton, he tries to give him confidence to play at the grand concert....One of the classics of the series
1.37 PEONY DAY (2 June 1961)- June 2nd is a flag day and the guest star Honor Blackman encourages generous giving
1.40 BACK PAY (23 June 1961)- "Is there something in the wind?" Bisley reads regulations governing Old Johnson's wages, which is strange as for all these years he's not been paid anything in cash: "justice will be done." Having engaged a solicitor (Keith Pyott) the Hon Sec explains that it is Snudge who is actually responsible for Johnson's pay. He'll have to have £5 a month deducted from his pay, but as Bootsie owes the solictor's fee of 20gns and Johnson has to pay all his back tax, no-one's happy: "this is a terrible injustice!"
2.18 PUNCH UP AT THE IMPERIAL (22 Feb 1962) - The club needs "livening up" so cricketer Rev Pennyfather (Barry Took) brings his club, actually a youth club for a tournament of billiards, ping-pong, darts, boxing and even dancing
3.17 BEING NICE TO BOOTSIE (7 Mar 1963) - Frothing, that's what Bootsie is doing- it's distemper decides Snudge, though later he equates it with some disease of camels. The doctor prescribes Be Nice to Bisley, the result being an attempt at slapstick, with flour and eggs
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The Adventures of Aggie
(1956/7)
starring Joan Shawlee as Aggie,
an American fashion buyer who travels the world.
Producer: Michael Sadlier

16 Diamond in the Rough (on film)
with Maurice Durant, Frank Henderson, James Drake, Pauline Drewett, and Guy Deghy.
TV Times synopsis:
"Aggie is in Amsterdam, so perhaps it is not surprising that she gets mixed up with some very shady characters. Someone she knows has found a way of making diamonds by a chemical process, a discovery that the diamond merchants won't be pleased to hear about!"

Question- The series seems to have been filmed at two different studios, can you name either of them? Answer

For episode details of this British made series, please go to the Classic TV archive

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Glencannon (1957)
39 films starring Thomas Mitchell about old seafaring Glencannon, Chief Engineer of a freighter which has adventures in every port around the world. But most of the filming was done at Elstree. Patrick Allen was co-star, whilst other regulars in most of the stories were Barry Keegan, Charles Carson, and Georgie Wood as Svenson the ship's cook. Several others had occasional roles, including John Gabriel and Lally Bowers.
"When I have seen them, my life will be complete," promised the widowed mother of the original creator of Glencannon, Guy Gilpatrick. What did she utter after seeing them, I wonder. For the reception the series got was generally unimpressive. "Imagine my horror," wrote Guy Taylor. "I suppose one must admire the producers for attempting a series with humour - but the result is like a soggy cake which simply refuses to rise. It lacks inventiveness, production idea and the script is appalling." This critic had seen the first story screened on A-R London, which was 30 "Love Story." Anyway, with a verdict like that, it was back to the drawing board for Gross-Kassne Ltd.
However, today this is something of a curiosity, for it was a rare attempt to put a tv comedy series on to film. Originally there was no canned laughter, but some prints were later re-edited to warn you when you were supposed to laugh. If nothing else, Glencannon included some fine performances from guests such as: Jon Pertwee in the title role of Champagne Charlie, Jack Train in Man with a Mermaid, John Laurie as the late Mr MacCrummon in The Loving Cup, Alfie Bass in The Ancient Mariner, Irene Handl in Three Lovesick Swains of Gibraltar, Warren Mitchell in The Yogi of West Ninth Street, Rupert Davies as a Russian in The Ailing Turtle, Arthur Lowe as The Mean Man of Genoa and Reginald Beckwith in The Wailing Lady of Limehouse.

My reviews of:
3 Double Double Deal and Trouble
14 The Masked Monster
17 The Rolling Stone
35 Captain Snooty of the Yacht
Question- Name the ship Glencannon works on. Answer
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3 Double Double Deal and Trouble
Casablanca- Glencannon is late returning from shore leave. There he is, being chased by police! Montgomery, perhaps kindly, knocks him out, and drags him on board the Inchcliffe Castle.
Next morning, Glencannon is catching up on his sleep. is this an evil spirit come to haunt him? No it's his double, the man Montgomery flattened, "never seen anything to equal this." The double is Harry Mork, ex-Marines, now on the run, he's gotta get to Genoa.
Glencannon thinks up a money making scheme...
Mork is the chief engineer on a US ship. "I'm gonna have you pinched," he tells poor Montgomery, after his reckless action. And he'll do the same to the owners of the ship. Glencannon proposes to Captain Ball that they placate Mork by taking him where he wants to go, to Genoa. Mork coughs up his £30 fare, that includes a bit on the side for Glencannon.
"I don't trust him," Bosun Hughes confides, but actually both rogue doubles are trying to doublecross each other.
At Marseilles, the Inchliffe docks, Glencannon flogs Mork his naval uniform, but planning also to turn him in for the reward money. But in fact Hughes has shown enterprise of his own and turned him in, is that Glencannon or Mork that the police now hold in custody? Even the police are confused. And Johnny Hughes can't tell 'em apart either. Bribery, that's in character for Glencannon, that will sort 'em out. But both men are equally devious here, so then Hughes defines one infallible test, only one of them can pass this one, play the bagpipes!

(review of a 16mm film print)
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14 The Masked Monster

Newspaper headlines read "Masked Monster - Another Victim".
Glencannon's nephew Duncan (Percy Herbert) has taken up wresting as the above named character, and he's so good he's bound to win.
So Glencannon bets on him, so of course he loses, but even worse injuring poor Glencannon. He is suffering so much that he threatens to sue Daninos, the owner of the ring (Sydney Tafler). This is another scheme doomed to failure, but Daninos persuades him to do some smuggling for him. Glencannon however has other plans.
"Everyone gets what he deserves in the end," he pronounces philosphically

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17 The Rolling Stone
On his birthday in Tangier, Glencannon is depressed because he's nearly broke and his 108 year old Uncle Jock (Tony Simpson) shows no signs of dying. "If he doesn't die soon, there'll be nothing left to inherit." At least, his two cousins, Duncan (Percy Herbert) and Douglas (Rufus Cruickshank) are tricked into signing over their share of any fortune. Thus "he feels wonderful" on board ship as he looks forward to seeing Uncle Jock again. "A bolt from the blue," a villager tells Glencannon when he gets near home. He assumes it's death at last and buys a tombstone for the old boy. But the prices of the dealer (Peter Maddern) at the Milngavie Junkyard moderate his transports, and he purchases for ten bob a rusty anchor. How about this epitaph?- "Here rots the bones of Jock Glencannon, Whom grim death from us took..." However it turns out Jock only nearly died, and he believes a bird has saved his life. So he's altering his will in favour of the Rehabilitation and Retirement Centre for Stray Birds! But Glencannon is not going to be "cut out of my inheritance for a suicidal bird," and he puts a macaw into Jock's home which promptly chews Jock's pound notes. "I'll no be changin' me will," cries an angry Jock. But "it's love at first sight" for him, in the storyline we'd always anticipated. He's to wed an even older lady who claims to have the secret of everlasting life

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35 Captain Snooty of the Yacht

with Clive Morton in the title role, also appearing John Barron, Arthur Howard

review to follow

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World of Wooster -
The BBC's triumphant success in bringing the PG Wodehouse stories to life,
starring Ian Carmichael as Bertie and Dennis Price as Jeeves.
It would be unfair to compare the series with the later more lavishly made LWT masterpiece with Fry and Laurie, but this Michael Mills production has its own period style and moves at a lively pace. Carmichael was much better than I had remembered as the rather stuttering Bertie Wooster, whilst Dennis Price surely had the finest role of his career.

The Delayed Exit of Claude and Eustace -
Bertie's cousins Claude (Timothy Carlton) and Eustace (Simon Ward) have to "pinch things to get elected" and so it comes about that Bertie is given the caps and a topper they have snaffled.
An unfortunate time for teetotal and general all round kill-joy to call, Sir Humphrey ("janitor in some sort of loonybin"). He's rather irritable today, as someone had snatched his hat, and even more annoyed when he spots said article on Bertie's hatstand. Bertie had wanted to keep in his good books as he's after the fair Marian, Sir H's daughter.
Aunt Agatha (the wonderful Fabia Drake) is proposing to ship the errant Claude and Eustace off to SA and requests, or rather orders, Bertie to look after them until their ship departs.
2am and the three are out on the town! Claude finds his "soulmate" whilst Eustace also meets his "affinity", and both are named Marian! With love in the air they simply cannot emigrate, and adopt disguises to avoid detection. Marian becomes "worn to a shadow" with their attentions- it's more than time for Jeeves to don his thinking cap!
Next day Bertie awakes to a "pip pip" from Claude. He's straight off to SA. "Cheerie-bye," adds Eustace- they're both chasing after Marian, who they understand is going to SA. Or at least that's the impression Jeeves had given them. Effusive thanks from Bertie.

Indian Summer of an Uncle (surviving fragment) - Mrs Wilberforce (Beryl Reid) is a guest at Bertie's dinner. "Hello you old crook," she breezily greets Jeeves. Bertie's other companion is Lord 'Piggy' Yaxley, who turns out to be an old friend of the good lady. "Like deep calling to deep," they happily exchange details of their ailments just like "a sick parade"

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The Larkins
This comedy ran for 6 series with a total of 40 programmes starring Peggy Mount as Ada, David Kossof as Alf. The rest of the family were Eddie (Shaun O'Riordan), Ruth Trouncer as Joyce, married to son-in-law Jeff (Ronan O'Casey). Next door neighbour Myrtle Prout was played by Hilary Bamberger. However it was Hetty Prout, played by Barbara Mitchell who made a bigger impression.
Bill Ward was the producer.
Which ITV company produced The Larkins? Answer
The first two series have been released on dvd:
1.1 Wide Open House (Friday September 19th 1958, 10.15-11pm- no Barbara Mitchell) - Ronan O'Casey introduces viewers to the Larkins family, followed by a nice point from his tv wife, observing he was talking to noone- "I surely hope not," he retorts. Today's the day that Eddie comes home after National Service and Ada's preparations are costing Alf a fortune. There's a gigantic party, Alf worried about the cost, and then about MP's who call for Eddie and get a taste of Ada's acid tongue. But the MP's really want Alf for desertion in 1919, what will the neighbours think?
1.2 Gun-In-Law (September 26th 1958, 10.15-10.45pm) - Jeff has to entertain four obnoxious kids in his role as a wild west writer, it's rather unfortunate that Eddie's prospective employer has been invited to the house at the same time. Amazingly, it turns out all right for them, though Alf and Jeff's agent Maxie (Warren Mitchell) wind up tied to a totem pole
1.3 Catastrophe (October 3rd 1958) - Ada is minding a prize cat and featherbeds it so much Alf rebels, "it's either that cat or me." Eddie is even having to take the thing for a walk, on a lead, so Alf and Jeff try to make it run away, but it keeps returning. When it does disappear, the family search for Prince brings in five strays
1.4 Angry Young Man (October 10th 1958- no Barbara Mitchell) - Publishers vie for Jeff's novel, finding a bohemian family, of sorts. Burlington Thrush gets a taste of an angry young man, in a rather contrived story
1.5 Telly-Ho! (October 17th 1958 - first story to include George Roderick as Sam Prout)- nice digs at the cinema v tv battle. Alf's slide show isn't going down at all well with Ada who doesn't want a "one channel magic lantern," so she pops next door to watch their telly. To persuade Alf to buy a set Ada has to use "tact," not a commodity she has much of, and in the end she loses patience and buys a set anyway. Alf sends it straight back. But after Ada reads about the evils of tv, and Alf watches round at the Prout's, roles are reversed. Poor George (John Barrard) the bewildered delivery man brings a set only to have it sent away yet again. Finally Eddie cracks it, he's on tv tonight he tells his parents, 9.30 Fact or Fiction. But it's fiction, and he has to create some interference to hide his deception
1.6 Ale and Farewell (October 24th 1958)- Alf has been "inaugurated," and Ada gets "a nasty feeling." Alf having promised to sign the pledge if he ever gets tipsy again, Ada resorts to "weapons of war," doctoring his drinks. At the height of the booze-up, in drops the vicar...
1.7 Christmas Special- Christmas with the Larkins (Boxing Day 1958, 10.15pm)

Series 2 (February/March 1959, Fridays at 10.15pm) was as before, George Roderick now a regular cast member.
2.1 Strictly Commercial - Ada's been seduced by the chance to star in a tv ad for Zuds, though Alf's against it until he's offered the chance to make an ad for "real beer." Sabotage is the order of the day when only one of their commercials can be approved, so there's the wash coming out all black and the beer tasting of frothy bubbles, but also one final neat commercial
2.2 Teddy for Eddie - Great stuff, as teddy boys and razor merchants and cherchez la femme are the new Eddie. He hangs out with "a pretty racy gang," Spider (Derren Nesbitt), Dicey, Splint and Rat Face (Larry Martyn), plus the entrancing Marilyn. When they come round to Eddie's house a rival gang, The Beetles, turn up, and it's left to Big Ada, The Scourge of the Waterfront, to prove the measure of 'em all
2.3 Haul for One
2.4 Gift Horsepower
2.5 Total Welfare
2.6 Very Important Parent

Brief details of the other series, which I haven't seen since original transmission.
Series 3 had the same cast. Alan Tarrant was the producer.
3.1 Home Win (Monday February 8th 1960, 8pm) - with Wilfred Brambell and John Salew.
3.2 All the Answers (February 15th 1960) - with Shaw Taylor as himself
3.3 A Fiddle in Froth (February 22nd 1960) - with Jack Newmark, Brian Dent, Colin Douglas and Bernard Monshin
3.4 Come Cleaner (February 29th 1960) - with Rex Graham, Peter Whitmarsh, Brian Franklin, and Charles Lloyd Pack (as Vicar- recurring character)
3.5 Stranger Than Friction (March 7th 1960)
3.6 (March 14th 1960)
series 4 (September/ October 1960)- 4.1 Unlucky Strike / 4.2 Little Big Brother/ 4.3 Gamblin' Fever/ 4.4 Frightful Nightful / 4.5 Match or Scratch / 4.6 Well Turned Warm
After a long break the programme returned for a fifth series. Peggy Mount and David Kossof continued to star, with Barbara Mitchell the only other survivor. Hugh Paddick played Osbert Rigby-Soames. Alan Tarrant continued as producer, Dicky Leeman directed.
5.1 Cafe Ole (Saturday November 9th 1963, 8.25-9.00pm- some regions showed it at 8.10-8.50pm)
5.2 Teenage Terror (November 16th 1963)
5.3 Darts and Flowers (November 23rd 1963)
5.4 Help Wanted (November 30th 1963)
5.5 Beatle Drive (December 7th 1963) - with Peter Murray as himself, Annette Robertson as Judy, Hugh Walters, David Jackson, and Willi Payne
5.6 Trading Stampede (December 14th 1963)
5.7 Strained Relations (December 21st 1963)- Ronan O'Casey returned for this story, still as Jeff. Also with Hugh Walters, David Jackson, Willi Payne and Derry Power
5.8 Saloon Barred (December 28th 1963) - with Hazel Coppen, Norman Chappell, Derry Power, David Jackson and Willi Payne
The final series was in the summer of 1964, main cast as for the fifth series.
6.1 Saloon Barred (Saturday July 11th 1964, 9.45-10.20pm)- with Willie Payne, Derry Power, and David Jackson
6.2 Celebration Blues (July 18th 1964)
6.3 Gypsy's Warning (July 25th 1964)
6.4 Finders Keepers (August 1st 1964) - with Willie Payne, Derry Power, David Jackson and Frank Hawkins
6.5 Counter Attraction (August 8th 1964) - with Andrew Crawford as Joe Mackenzie, Toni Gipin as Jeannie, Willie Payne, Derry Power, and David Jackson
6.6 Dizzy Rich (August 15th 1964)
6.7 Country Style (August 22nd 1964) - last ever story
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Mr Digby Darling
An early black/white series from the new Yorkshire TV that saw Rag Trade combatants Peter Jones and Sheila Hancock reunited.
This series however saw them as happily married-to-the-job boss (Roland Digby) and jill of all trades, secretary (Thelma Teesdale). Well at least, he's wedded to a lazy office life in slippers, whilst she sees to his every need, unfulfilled. The whole thing's really made by the ever reliable Peter Jones' whimsical touches.

1.1 The Efficiency Expert (January 6th 1969) - "Another Monday morning, thank goodness!" declares Digby as he arrives for work. Thelma is celebrating "ten happy years together," but it won't be for much longer if Chambers the new Efficiency Expert has his say- "before you know it, cccckkkk, you're redundant." But if Digby believes he's "got nothing to fear," he's a born optimist!
1.2 The Facts of Life - In the hands of Digby, the Slugdown publicity is "tear jerking nonsense about slugs being the gardeners' best friend." But poor Digby is confused as he is supposed to be teaching son Dominic the facts of life. After Thelma helps him by inquiring about the book "Childbirth Can Be Fun," in a splendid scene Mr Trumper somehow thinks Digby is to be a father again: "just because there's snow on the roof, that doesn't mean the boiler's gone out!"
1.4 The New Secretary - It's time for Thelma to be "upgraded" to the Sixth Floor at Executive Level. Parting of the ways is a wrench until Digby is introduced to Thelma's replacement, the shapely Betty (Wanda Ventham)
1.6 Drunk and Disorderly - Roland's wife has been away so last night he let his hair down. Now he's got to appear in court. "Rid-o-Rats's Bonnie and Clyde" have to invent yet another excuse for the afternoon off. Then it turns out boss Mr Trumper is on the jury. All of which gives Peter Jones the chance to offer a snatch of Sidney Carton's Farewell Speech
* The Evacuee - "Mr Digby is a living saint," declares Thelma. But not when a colleague is being billeted in his office. "It will be a bit of a squeeze," admits Mr Trumper. Gladys 'Ma' Lightfoot (Marjorie Rhodes) is an old acquaintance: "time's done the dirty on you," she tells Digby. There's only one solution- move her, but where to? How about "the old folks' cleaning room" in the basement? But it's Digby and Thelma who eventually have to find new accommodation as they end up working in the cloakrooms
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George and the Dragon
Sid James met his match in Peggy Mount in ATV's series which ran from 1966.
Perhaps Keith Marsh as Ralph the gardener enjoyed his finest moment, whilst John le Mesurier vainly battled to keep the peace between George... and the Dragon

Series One

Series Two

Series Three

Series Four

Funniest moment in the series: 2.7 when George ends up with his date- The Dragon.
Dud episode: several, I'm afraid, perhaps 1.4 Night Night Sleep Tight is the corniest.

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George and the Dragon - Series One

Series 1: 1 George Meets the Dragon (19th November 1966)- The arrival of Miss Gabrielle Dragon, enough to terrify any mere man, chauffeur (Sid James) included
2 The Not So Tender Trap- Whoops! After a night of boozing George ('Kingsley') has proposed to Miss Dragon, and what's worse, she's accepted!
3 The Unexpected Sport - With the colonel's leg in plaster, George is volunteered to play polo at Windsor for the Waterlilies. Naturally he places a bet on the opposition
4 Night, Night, Sleep Tight - Inconsequential effort about George and the Dragon alone at night, with the Colonel and Ralph away. Bumps in the night etc etc
5 Royal Letter - When Gabrielle sends an Xmas card to the Duke of Edinburgh, it's nice to get his reply, except it's a forgery typed by George and signed by Ralph....
6 A Merry Christmas? - After present giving, the four disperse to friends for Christmas. But George's intimate season with Irma (Yootha Joyce) is a frost, so he returns to the colonel's to find everyone else there too. The end is stolen by three young carol singers

To Series Two
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George and the Dragon - Series Two

Series 2: 1 (20th May 1967)- This could be described as a tragedy when George breaks Gabrielle's treasured heirlooms, her mum's old records. She decides to say farewell, but at the bus station cafe, first George then Ralph and finally The Colonel each persuade her to return- to the amazement of a lorry driver (John Junkin) who's trying to chat her up himself
2- It's Sunday morning with George and Gabrielle discussing religion, in a way that just wouldn't be done these days. There's £1 on it that the 'Black Sheep' won't be dragged by the Dragon back to the fold of the church
3- Has Gabrielle a French man in her room? Not quite- she's trying to learn French since she's won a trip for two to Paris. George accompanies her on a panic ridden flight
4- Gabrielle requests George shows her "how to do it." When George realises she actually wants him to teach her how to drive the Colonel's Bentley, he has to agree when the colonel orders him to do so. When she bumps into the car of the Chief Constable, George gets his own back by convincing her she'll be sent to prison
5- Sonia Dresdel displays a fine comic touch as Priscilla, an old friend of the Colonel's. A battle of wills between her and Gabrielle is the highlight of this, the best of the series. "Dartmoor is a holiday camp" compared with her new regime
6- Men have greater willpower than women, argues George. To prove he's quite wrong Gabrielle proposes they both do without food. After two days both are wavering. This is familiar stuff, but in the hands of experts, it's quite palatable
7 - George is Aries, Gabrielle Virgo, as they check their horoscopes. Why not seek their destiny through the Confidential Friendship Bureau? It's run by gushing Brian Oulton, in a superb little cameo. George asks him- "what have you got in stock?" You can easily guess that George is going to finish up with Gabrielle as his date, but there again, it's awfully well done

To Series Three

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George and the Dragon - Series 3:

1- (6th January 1968)"England Expected, and I did," explains Gabrielle. It's Dinky Dragon's army reunion, and she tricks George into thinking that one of her mates (Julia McCarthy) was the victim of Rumpo Russell's wartime romances
2 - After a picnic, George and the Dragon have to spend the night sharing a room. They end up in the dock, and look who's on the bench- the Colonel!
3 - Harpers Department Store (A bit of ATV nostalgia there!) is offering a £10 tv in its sale, "first come, first served." George is first in the queue the night before, but will that stop the Dragon?
4 - Lots are drawn by George and the Dragon to see who wins the continental holiday. The bigger cheat wins. After which George hides in Miss Dragon's bedroom to discover her secret hidden in there. It turns out to be her own giant bikini!
5 - Missing here is the setting of the Colonel's house, and also much fun, as George and the Dragon attempt to travel by train to London. They have a topical rant against British Railways: "Beeching must go!" when their train to Waterloo is axed- but as they're filmed at Welwyn North they should have been making for King's Cross! Peter Howell gets the butt of their complaints and Tom Baker has a brief filmed role as a humble porter
6 - Tracing her family tree, the Dragon decides she's related to a French duke who went under the guillotine in 1783. George plays along with her, 'discovering' his portrait, which is really a copy of The Laughing Cavalier with a few crude additions
7 - Pay Day Parade, but George gets nothing, in fact he still owes the colonel seven and six! He decides to raise some cash by buying, with the Dragon's £20, an old banger and then selling it for scrap, at a profit. Unfortunately it's the colonel's Bentley that's carted off to the scrapyard crusher, causing Miss Dragon, in a fit of contrition, to get "religious mania"
To Series Four
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George and the Dragon - Series 4:
1 - I'm Backing Britain campaign means dock leaf tea and seaweed cigarettes at the Colonel's home. It's enough to convince him and Sid and Ralph to smuggle in brandy, garlic and fags, but the Dragon will have none of it, so they resort to a surreptitious midnight 'beano' in the greenhouse
2 - Gunners' fan George is ejected by a policeman (Geoffrey Palmer) from the West Ham cup tie. But the Dragon procures a ticket for the replay for both of them
3 - Birthday presents for Miss Dragon, but has George forgotten? No he seems to have remembered with a lovely fur stole. But it's not really for her, only left over from George's night on the tiles, and George hasn't the guts to tell the Dragon. Then the owner Sandra returns to claim it
4 - "Help yourself to brandy and cigars," the expansive colonel tells George. Gabrielle has told the colonel that George has only days to live, in this so familiar storyline, but it's good to watch how some old pros get the very most out of it
5 - This week's misunderstanding- Gabrielle Dragon is having an affair with Ralph the gardener! Actually it's only Ralph who has named his "tose," a cross between a tulip and a rose, after Gabrielle. Whilst quite enjoyable, the script never exploits the full potential of this fun situation
6 - George is really and truly in love with the fair Angela, but sad to say her father, the brigadier (William Kendall) opposes their marriage. So George announces himself at her window, to elope, but only ends up with a black eye. The series ends however on a happier note, for now Miss Dragon is in love- with the brigadier!
George and the Dragon
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THE RAG TRADE (BBC) - The acme of corny vulgarity, with Peter Jones, Miriam Karlin, Reg Varney, Sheila Hancock.
1 (1961) Ritz Plaza hotel is the venue for Fenner to meet his American client but unfortunately the slacks he brings are "bullet proof." A more entertaining scene is when the staff have to impress said American by posing as French workers
2 Terry Scott plays a buyer for golliwogs the girls have made on the side. To impress him they divert Fenner to the police station, so they can ply the buyer with drink. Rather tiddly they are, when Fenner returns...
3 A rush polka dot sample means Reg and then Mr Fenner have to look after Brenda's baby. All very predictable, but the best laugh is when Sheila Hancock has to model the dress which is not quite finished
4 Carol's wedding dress has to be made up from material for Fenner's urgent order for Arcadia Fashions
5 After lateness at the impossibly early start of 8am, Fenner decides to install a clocking-in system which means our workers start getting short pay, so Paddy organises a bet on a dead cert, leading to lots of subterfuge as Fenner seeks to impress an important buyer. The nag wins the race, but Lily loses the betting slip in one of the new dresses, which leads to them all being ripped apart right in front of the boss, but such, er, conscientiousness, appears to impress the buyer!
6 It's that familiar "Everybody Out!" after Fenner proposes an automated snack machine. Worker sabotage results in some well worn slapstick until Lily discovers buttons can be used in lieu of shillings. So when Fenner belatedly agrees to the machine's removal, it's Everybody Out again
7 With Fenner running a temperature of 102, first Nurse Lily then the other Brothers attempt a quick cure. In his absence they design a new dress for a tv star using metallic paint to make it shimmer. Not a success!
8 Fenner must have a sample ready for his client by 3.30, but Carol has borrowed it during the lunch hour in order to impress her sailor boy friend. Now it's 3.30 and she's still not back!
2.1 (1962) Fenner's payment for the electicity bill is diverted to the staff's new one armed bandit, but though he is drugged, a Mr Basset still cuts the power off, whilst a drugged Reg attempts to impress a client
2.2 Fun at the salon of haute couturier Norman Digby (Patrick Cargill) when Lily's doggy Dinky loses Fenner an important order. The staff try and flog the £100 dress at their own fashion parade, to one of Digby's artistocrat clients
2.3 - An outbreak of staff sickness can be traced to handsome Dr Blake (Noel Trevarthen), though it leads to the arrival of the factory inspector, who thinks Fenner is running a sweatshop
2.4 - New factory inspector (June Whitfield) is the receipient of a number of unwelcome surprises
2.5 - After overtime on Paddy's birthday, Mr Fenner's empty flat is ideal for a party. He returns home unexpectedly to find the aftermath of an orgy. But his mother-in-law (the towering Fabia Drake) finds Fenner there and she demands explanations, which he quite fails to satisfactorily provide
2.6 - Reg shaves Fenner, then poses as a Chinaman, as the girls earn extra cash by running a laundry
2.7 - Rehearsals for the Fenner Fashions Concert Party. Hugh Paddick and Ronnie Barker also appear
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Telegoons (1963/4)

A partially successful resurrection of The Goons in visual form.

2.6 Tales of Old Dartmoor (April 1964)
Prison stocktaking. Number of prisoners- "run completely out of them!"
Thanks to Moriarty it's soon chock full again. Then for a holiday, the prison is moved, bricks and all to France, to the Chateau d'If where there's a race to find a treasure. The prison sinks in the sea which is why, allegedly, now on Dartmoor is a cardboard replica
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Benny Hill
Whilst Benny developed his comic style into one of innocently vulgar double entendres, his early comedy is more mainstream.

The Mystery of Black Bog Manor (1962)
This mildly amusing pastiche of the genre has Benny Hill appearing as Rumbold of the Daily Bugle, whose reporting assignment is to interview Colonel Wittering about his collection of diamonds.
When our hero reaches the windswept lonely mansion, he is greeted with suspicion by the colonel's bland nephew (Graham Stark), though the best part is Patsy Smart's as Miriam, a bundle of nerves, who warns Rumbold "I do hope you're the last!"
For it's clear there's dirty work afoot at the manor. The feet in the bed that disappear, and the bearded stranger who grabs all Rumbold's food. And who is dancing the can-can, at 3.30 in the morning? "There's something funny going on here," notes our reporter with all the corn he can muster, "and I mean to get to the bottom of it."
Script: Dave Freeman. Length: 25 minutes.
The Lonely One
Superb take-off documentary narrated by Alex MacIntosh, about a "misunderstood young man" Willie, Benny Hill as an overage teenage delinquent, but several other roles as well. 7 minutes
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