Army Game Bootsie and Snudge Glencannon Our Man at St Marks Dickie Henderson Morecambe and Wise Comedy Playhouse
Arthur Haynes George and the Dragon Mr Digby Darling Square World Rag Trade Wooster All Gas and Gaiters
Tony Hancock Sid James Harry Worth Jimmy Edwards Terry Scott Benny Hill Lance Percival
VARIETY SHOWS (listed by company producing)- ATV ABC Rediffusion Granada BBC . ATN . . Pop Shows
Other shows- BBC: White Heather Club, Christmas Night with Stars 1964, Frankie Howerd Show (1966), Sykes, Oh Brother.
ITV: 1948 Show, No that's Me Over Here, Never Mind the Quality, Howerd's Hour (ABC), Tales of Men's Shirts (Ampex)

Dinosaur TV Comedy / Variety

Here are reviews of many comedy and variety programmes from the 1950's/60's. The tragedy is that so many are lost beyond recall, but at least we can be thankful for those reissued on dvd.

Picture- the two stars of a forgotten comedy series, which was unusually made on film. Can you name the programme? Answer.

My favourite comedy series: I love Harry Worth's gentle comedy.
My favourite variety series: Those early ATV Morecambe and Wise Shows.
My dud series: I always found Charlie Drake unbearable. OK, my loss.
On the variety front, can anyone possibly explain how Teddy Johnson and Pearl Carr scrounged their way into so many series??

CLICK here for details of a few selected later comedy series from the 70's onwards.

To our DINOSAUR TV MAIN PAGE

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Hancock's Half Hour (BBC)
By common consent the pinnacle of early TV comedy. The best of the scripts provided Tony Hancock with a brilliant foil for his comic genius. Yet to assume they are all perfection would be too hopeful- quite often the shows are almost as humdrum as the very best of their contemporaries, however when at the peak of excellence, they are unsurpassable even today.

Best show- For perfection, read The Economy Drive, or of course The Donor.
Funniest moment- I love The Missing Page, as Tony goes mad when he gets to '... and the murderer's name is....'
Dud shows- The Train Journey, The Reunion. Unless of course you include the ITV shows in this section, in which case, the previous two are quite good

2.1 The Alpine Holiday (1957)
3.5 The Air Steward
3.10 The Competition
4.1 The Viking (1958 short)
5.1 The Economy Drive (1959) -From the moment Tony and Sid return from holiday to find a fortnight's newpapers, and the milk bottles piled by the doorstep, it's clear this is one's worst nightmare. The TV left on, the iron, you name it- what waste! From then on it's a ruthless bid to save money in a plot to make the keenest Scrooge smile
5.3 Lord Byron Lived Here -Marvellously observed story of how Tony opens his home to the public, when he thinks he's discovered its historical associations
5.4 Twelve Angry Young Men - The wonderful Sid sees sitting on the jury as a useful way of making money, never mind British justice. The open and shut case is turned on its head by Hancock's protracted doubts. It's a marvellous study in his powers of persuasion
5.5 The Train Journey - Hancock irritates his passengers, and sometimes us viewers, on the 7 hour trip to Giggleswick. Not much of a giggle though
5.6 The Cruise - The best moments are Hattie Jacques trying to chat up the moribund Hancock, and John le Mesurier as the ship's captain trying to dissuade the hysterical Hancock from mutiny
5.7 The Big Night - There's the classic scene in the launderette. "All dressed up and raring to go," the lads anticipate a great Saturday night out in East Cheam High Street. But with Hancock as a "bourgeois beatnik," the birds ain't likely to be pulled
5.8 The Tycoon -Lord Cheam's enjoyable dream of taking over the E Cheam Building Soc to become second richest man in the world
6.1 The Cold (1960) - "Fever fever, hear me shout. Ague, ague, come on out!" cries Mrs Cravat. But her "voodoo" is as useless to Hancock as Sid's lack of sympathy. Swapping remedies with ailing Dr Callaghan seems but a prelude to The Final Sneeze.
6.2 The Missing Page - Darcy Sarto's library book Lady Don't Fall Backwards gets Hancock enthralled. 25 murders before Johnny Oxford is to announce the killer on the last page. It's missing! A frustrated time leads him to the last reader who's gone mad with not knowing the killer's identity also. The author is no use as he's died, so it's off to the British Museum and the truth. A happy tribute to American crime fiction
6.4 The Reunion - Far too obvious what'll happen after Hancock anticipates a lively meeting with his wartime live-wire buddies after 15 years
6.6 The Babysitters - Entertaining observations on contemporary art, architecture and tv before our babysitting lads snooze and burglars strike

Hancock

7.1 The Bedsitter (1961) - a solo triumph, keeping us engrossed for 25 minutes in his claustrophobic flat
7.2 The Bowmans - affectionate parody of BBC's own parochial radio drama, the irritating character Hancock plays simply refuses to lie down and die
7.3 The Radio Ham - a classic as Tony attempts to deal with a mayday call
7.4 The Lift - Stuck in a lift, Tony is not the ideal companion
7.5 The Blood Donor - what can one say? A masterpiece
Comedy Menu . . . To Hancock's ITV shows

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THE TONY HANCOCK SHOW (1956 Associated Rediffusion)
No.4
With a script by Eric Sykes, who appears briefly, the best sketch is based on the imaginative premise that TV cameras are allowed into the courtroom as in the USA. Tony milks the applause in between the adverts and plays What's My Line with a witness.
Other sketches feature Tony replying to his fan mail, all two letters, and "Chez Hancock", a distinctly unsuccessful nightclub, with Tony playing the doorman, waiter, chef and Apache dancer.
Others in the supporting cast include young June Whitfield, Ronan O'Casey and Clive Dunn.

HANCOCK (1963 ATV)
We have these stories of the 13 made:
1. The Assistant with Patrick Cargill, Martita Hunt, Kenneth Griffith
Disjointed story of Tony Hancock taking up the challenge to work in a store. A long unconnected interlude with Griffith in the storeroom slows the "plot", but there’s some good banter with old adversary, Patrick Cargill, and a nice cameo from Martita Hunt who plays table soccer against Tony.
3. Shooting Star with Denholm Elliott
A film director sizes Tony up in the opening three minute silence; it doesn't quite succeed. Nor do Tony's scenes as an aspiring film star - is he overacting as the fictional script demands, or to compensate for the actual script which is at the amateur theatricals level?
5. The Man on the Corner with Geoffrey Keen plus an appearance by Wilfred Lawson.
Tony is convinced he’s on to a spy ring and although the experts all try to fob him off, for once he’s right. The plot flows and if the series had built from this, it might have been at least a "reasonable" show.
8. The Craftsman with Brian Worth. Hancock and slapstick don’t mix! A poor effort as Tony tries to show the DIY TV experts up, but the story is awfully predictable, and the chaos that ensues seems strangely reflective of the turmoil Hancock must have been feeling.
9. The Night Out with Derek Nimmo. Hancock finds he is standing a party in the Metropole.
12. The Writer with Francis Matthews, and John Junkin as a TV comic who makes the mistake of employing Hancock as his scriptwriter. Obvious parallels with this series' own abysmal scripts.

To Comedy Menu
See also ABC Variety

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ATV VARIETY SHOWS
Sunday Night at The London Palladium
1958: hosted by Tommy Trinder, with Sarah Vaughan, Marvin Rainwater.
22 March 1964: with Bruce Forsyth, plus Freddie and the Dreamers, Billy Russell
'New Palladium' with Jimmy Tarbuck:
Sept 1965: with Pete and Dud, Peter Paul and Mary, The Searchers, Frankie Vaughan
Oct 1965: with Michael Bentine and Cliff
Nov 1965: with Cliff, Charlie Drake
March 1966: Special Guest Roy Orbison (colour)
Autumn 1966: Kate Smith introduces Morecambe and Wise, Tom Jones, Millicent Martin
Val Parnell's Spectacular
1959: Johnnie Ray Show, with Pat Kirkwood (Fascinating Rhythm, My Island, Way Down Yonder), Lenny the Lion, Joyce and Lionel Blair. JR sings: All of Me, Springtime in the Rockies, Wagon Wheels, Thank Heaven for Little Girls, I'll Never Fall in Love Again, I Miss You, I'm Gonna Move, I'm Gonna Walk and Talk with my Lord
1959: Johnnie Ray Show, with The Treniers, Channing Pollock, Anne Shelton JR sings What a Kiss, Day by Day, How about You (+AS), All of Me, All the Way, Shake a Hand, Lonely for a Letter, Up Above My Head, (with The Treniera:) When I Lost my Baby + Sing with the Fishes
1960: Alma Cogan with Adam Faith and Don Alan- AC sings This could be the Start, Night and Day, three songs with Teddy and Pearl, Begin the Beguine, You Made Me Love You. Adam sings I'm Happy, How About That, Lonely Pup, and a nice duet with AC: I Remember it Well. Producer Francis Essex achieves some impressive white light effects in the dark during Bill Finch's act.
* With Alma Cogan, who sings A lovely Way to spend an Evening, Should I Reveal, Someone to Watch Over Me, Rockabye your Baby, plus a medley with The Dallas Boys, and with John Raitt: There Once was a Man. Freddie Frinton drifts in and out aimlessly.
* Hosted by Bob Monkhouse with guests Morecambe and Wise (edited to 30 minutes)
Putting on the Donegan
1. Lonnie with Chris Barber. Lonnie sings 'Hard Travellin' and 'John Hardy' etc as well as one number in which the mike gives out!
2. Lonnie with guest Alma Cogan - it is says Lonnie, the last of the series
Lunch Box (1958)
host Noele Gordon with Eula Parker
Johnnie Ray Sings (1959)
featuring Shani Wallis, and with Jack Parnell's Orchestra.

1- Johnnie sings: Should I Reveal?, September Song, Don't Worry 'Bout Me, Day by Day, Who's Sorry Now. Duet: I Wonder Why. Shani sings: Gipsy in My Soul, Old Man Sunshine, Falling in Love with Love
2- Johnnie sings: All Right, Glad Rag Doll, Tell the Lady Goodbye, Another Man's Blues, Beginning to see the Light(duet), This Longing in Me, I'm Gonna Move. Shani also sings Noone ever Tells You, The Nearness of You.
3- Johnnie sings: Love Can Be/ All in the Game/ If I Had You/ It's all Right with me (duet)/ Ain't Misbehavin'/ When I Walk All Over God's Heaven/ Give Me Time/ Please Don't Talk about Me when I'm Gone. Shani sings: What's New/ I've Got My Love to keep Me Warm.
4- In the last show Johnnie sings Up Above my Head, Yes Tonight Josephine, Yesterday, 100 years from Today, As Time Goes By and Leader of the Band. Shani sings All of You and Valentine Day and (duet) After You've Gone
Celebrity Spot (1959)
Ian Stewart, piano/ Channing Pollock, magician (15 mins)
The Big Show (1967- US title: Showtime)
1. host - Shelley Berman with Shirley Bassey, Aker Bilk
2. host - Eddy Arnold with Roy Castle, Freddie and the Dreamers, Jimmy Edwards
3. host- Juliet Prowse with Buddy Greco, Dave Clark Five, Bruce Forsyth, Joe Baker
4. host- Terry-Thomas: "I'm effervescent- do you ever know of a time when I wasn't?" Also with Rudolf Nureyev
5. host- Phyllis Diller with Michael Bentine, Anita Harris, Dickie Henderson, The Shadows
To Comedy Menu

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ABC VARIETY SHOWS:
ABC tried hard to dent ATV's grip on light entertainment on the commercial channel. Big Night Out was their top Saturday spot, which ATV steadfastly mostly refused to broadcast. In return ABC didn't initially show a few ATV variety shows, such as Mainly Millicent in 1965, instead putting on their own David Nixon Show.
Big Night Out (ABC)
A long running series hosted by the faintly irritating Mike Winters with constant interruptions from the gormless Bernie.
* with Bob Monkhouse - Lionel Blair arrives by sports car at the studios and dances his way inside. Petula Clark sings That's How We Feel to Love/ Thank you/ Let's Call the Whole Thing Off (with Dennis Spicer). Sketch: From Wigan With Love: Bernie as James Bond, Mike as M. Short sketch: Bernie as a char, with military bigwigs. Sketch: Just the Job- The Milkman, with Bernie and Freddie Mills. Sketch: Bernie of Arabia. Bob Monkhouse concludes the show, including his take-off The Fifth Beatle
* with Gerry and The Pacemakers- Human Cannonball Bernie, Just the Job- Gardening, Z Cars: Gerry Marsden as Sweet, Sherlock Holmes: Bernie as SH, Alfred Marks as Lord Baskerville
* with David Nixon (1963)- Joyce Blair sings two songs. Lionel Blair dances of course, including one intriguing 007 ballet. Guests also include Lennie the Lion. Sketch: Abdul el Winters, Mike does tricks assisted by Bernie and Nixon. Short Sketch: No Hiding Place. Sketch: Sports Time: Bernie as a cyclist. Short sketch: Bernie the Rustic. The finale Sawn in Two is an imaginative visual conclusion
* with The Beatles who sing With Love from Me to You, She Loves You, Twist and Shout. Also with Billy Dainty, Patsy Ann Noble. The brothers perform one Highland Games sketch ("MacWinters") and one with "Two Gorgeous Girls"
* The Beatles 1964 appearance (edited to 25 minutes)
They sing All my Loving, I Want to be Your Man etc and perform sketches with their hosts, one in Customs, another Renaming The White Winters Six. Also appearing Jackie Trent and of course ABC's treasure, Lionel Blair
The Blackpool Show (ABC 1966)
Wrote Max Wyman in The Viewer magazine: "Hosting the show each week is none other than Tony Hancock- fast heading back to the top of the profession once more." And Philip Jones, ABC Light Entertainment chief, announced: "we are extremely pleased to get Tony to head the summer series."
* compered by Tony Hancock with Jeannie Carson, Bob Monkhouse, The Rockin' Berries and John 'Evelyn' Junkin
To
Comedy Menu

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(ASSOCIATED-) REDIFFUSION:
Bing Crosby Show (1961)
surprise guest is Bob Hope of course

Hippodrome (1966) with
The Herculeans (acrobats)
Linda Bennett (singer)
Jeff (with five tigers)
The Zombies (rock group)
Alma (trapeze)
Three Getzis (acrobat clowns)
Moni the Elephant
The Great Segora (fire eater)
plus The Band of the Grenadier Guards

To Comedy Menu

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GRANADA:

Burt Bacharach Sound
Fascinating outtakes from the programme shown on 14th April 1965. The director was Philip Casson.
Insert 1: BB conducting
Insert 2 (two takes): Always Something There to Remind Me
Insert 3: Trains and Boats and Planes
Insert 4: BB playing piano and conducting Always Something There to Remind Me
Insert 5: Chat with BB and Hal David (plenty of mutual backslapping)
Insert 6: (after a false start) BB conducting
Insert 7: (after first take aborted, these are takes 2 and 3): Dusty Springfield: I just don't know what to do.
Insert 8 (two takes): The Merseybeats and Dusty Springfield: Wishin and Hopin
Insert 9 (three takes): Dionne Warwick: Hey Little Girl, followed by one take of BB introducing Chuck Jackson (plus one muffed)
Insert 11 (two takes): Dionne Warwick: Walk on By,
followed by closing credits
Comedy Menu

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BBC:
An Evening's Diversion (1953, edited to 50 minutes)-
Imagining a television entertainment in 1596 with "the epicure of cooks" Philip Harben. Others appearing may possibly include Lupino Lane and Elton Hayes. The Society of Inventors reveal the 'latest' inventions whilst there's a snippet of a play. Best bit is the announcer solemnly reminding viewers to get their tv licence, on pain of a whipping
Contrasts (1955)-
with the Robert Farnon Orchestra which plays Yes We Have No Bananas, How Beautiful is Night, Portrait of a Flirt (with dancing by Claudine Goodfellow), Robert Beatty introduces a clip from Captain Horatio Hornblower RN, Jean Gilbert (piano) plays a variation by Paganini, then the orchestra conclude with Strawberry Fair and Night and Day
We Are Your Servants (1956) -
A celebration of ten years of post war BBC telly, introduced by Leslie Mitchell. Other links provided by Kenneth More, Peter Haigh and Humphrey Lestocq. Music from Geraldo. A special What's My Line, hosted by Gilbert Harding. Arthur Askey (who'd recently defected to 'the other side') is seen on film with Frank Muir and Denis Norden, whilst Bob Monkhouse does a topical monologue and Jacqueline Mackenzie similarly. Richard Hearne is on stage with Terry-Thomas, whilst Muffin is seen with creator Jan Bussell, and Sooty with Harry Corbett. Oddest sketch is Petula Clark who is seen in a clip from 1946 before appearing in a strange dialogue with Stephen Boyd
The World Our Stage (1957) -
host: Trevor Howard. Shirley Eaton dances. Ted Ray Billie Whitelaw and Kenneth Connor perform a sketch 'First TV Set.' Peggy Cummins stars in The Man on the Balcony, an unlikely comedy with Bob Monkhouse as a potential suicide. Phil Silvers sends the BBC brief congratulations. Finally, a huge choir perform The Isle is Full of Noises
Solo Performance -
George Formby with 35 minutes of his immortal songs
"Wakey Wakey"-
1959 (edited) - with Russ Conway and Max Bygraves. The Fiftieth Wakey Wakey Tavern show
Christmas Eve 1961- guest star Eric Sykes tries to persuade our Bill to do a Robin Hood panto. Failing that how about Aladdin? A third try of Cinderella introduces Hattie Jacques as a Fairy Queen. The final sketch is yet another Come Dancing take-off, with Jeremy Lloyd as the bandleader. Other guests are Mrs Mills, John Williams who also does a guitar 'duet' with Eric, and Ricky Stevens who attempts I Cried For You
1964 - with Russ Conway, Spike Milligan, Ted Rogers and Frankie Vaughan. 'Cotton Capers' with our Bill racing at Brooklands

That Was The Week That Was-
It all looks very tame nowadays, only Bernard Levin appearing modernistically rude. True, some of the satire was revolutionary for tv at the time, but the show always seemed to me to be enthusiastically amateurish, but then maybe I am an old fart like BL.
* 1963 show with special guest Frankie Howerd. - He does "a little lecture" on the budget ("Reggie means well...") but it's his jibes at TW3 itself that are most entertaining: "I don't approve of this sort of thing," he confides to us viewers. Perhaps coming on at 11.35 sharpened his feelings! Other guests include Cleo Laine, who duets with Millicent Martin, and Michael Redgrave with a wistful poem on those recently melted down at Madame Tussaid's. The best sketch perhaps is Willie Rushton phoning the US about Britain's decline as a world power. Celebrated Hairdresser Mr Raymond isn't quite riled by Levin, even though as a Liberal candidate, he knows little about Liberal policies

International Cabaret (1966)-
with Johnny Mathis (20 mins)
Main Comedy Menu

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Made in Australia by ATN (Sydney)

Meet Matt Monro
His first hour long spectacular, he informs his audience. Expense was certainly spared, with very sparse sets, but I suppose, fairly typical of the era.
With Lorrae Desmond
The Flanagans
Billy Burton (trumpet).
Matt's songs include I'm a Pommie, Walk Away, Born Free, Softly, Portrait of my Love, San Francisco, I Have Dreamed, plus a medley with Lorrae.
Interspersed amongst the songs are numerous plugs for the sponsor Dulux.

Matt Monro 'Live' at the New Twenties Restaurant, Melbourne.
An excellent cabaret, though Matt's attempts at humour between the singing are rather painful.
Songs include: I'll Go On Singing, How do You Do, What to Do?, My Kind of Girl, Yesterday, You are Nobody, Portrait of my Love, Walk Away, If I could Hold You, From Russia with Love, Georgy Girl, Born Free, Softly.

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Citizen James
Galton and Simpson's 'Hancockless' BBC series with Sid James and Sidney Tafler. Also featured are Bill Kerr and Liz Fraser in series 1. Sid Green and Dick Hills wrote the later, and (dare I say it?) better scripts.
1.1 Drunken Runner - In this opener, Sid introduces to the camera his mates and his business "registered at the Board of Trade as a Dodgy Proposition." Total assets threepence halfpenny. Sid persuades a down-on-his-luck athlete to enter the local Waiters' Race. At 100-1 Sid stands to make a packet, but will his dark horse succumb to the demon drink?
1.2 Magic Elixir - "Doctor" Sid flogs Bill's patent medicine but the police swoop in the shape of Bob Todd and Campbell Singer. Eventually Sid is cleared of all charges as he proves the efficacy of his product at the hospital, where he "cures" an ailing elderly lady, inevitably played by Patricia Hayes.
1.3 The Nosh Bar Raffle Prize money has "disappeared". Can Sid explain this away to "friends" like Nosh Bar owner (Ronnie Brody) and Meat Axe (Michael Brennan)?
1.4 Gambling Fever - Charlie to Sid: "With such an agile mind, how come you're always broke?" But suddenly Sid has £300, entrusted to him by Liz to take to the bank. But of course it's spent on Henry IV at 40-1. So what story can Sid dream up for Liz about her lost 300 quid? A robbery! But then of course, the police have to investigate...
1.5 Parkers - Sid goes into the wholesale business, manufacturing fags made from roll-your-own tobacco. All at the bargain price of eight pence for 20. Somehow they persuade Cecil Parker, THE Cecil Parker, to lend his name to the brand "Parkers". "You're never alone with a Parker" and other jingles follow. The best of the stories I've seen.
1.6 The Bet - Sid's been engaged to Liz for 7 years. The last time he took her out was to the Festival of Britain! Sid has a bet that she still won't go off with anyone else, but is in for a rude shock. The story picks up for the best scene when Sid tries to make her jealous by dating a stripper (Sheena Marshe).
2.11 Elope - "The Twist is the latest dance from America" says a TV announcer. Sid and Charlie visit the Palais where Sid gets into teenage trouble and Doris follows his advice and elopes to Gretna Green. Sid and Charlie follow on the train to repair the damage but worse, Charlie might have to make it a double at Gretna!
3.10 Watchdog - (November 1962) Sid takes pity on a burglar (Ronnie Brody) but decides to buy a watchdog from the kennels of Mrs Bullock-Smythe (Irene Handl). Fortunately Irene gets this slow story going: "Mr James, you don't want to be shy with me." The story ends much better as Sid's Tibetan yak hound terrorisies the neighbourhood, indeed stopping crooks from breaking in, but also Sid and Charlie from getting out!

To Sid in: George and the Dragon . . . Sid in Taxi
Comedy Menu

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MORECAMBE AND WISE

ATV's black and white 25 minute shows. Congratulations to the anonymous one at Television House who refused to throw away these masterpieces! These survivors are not merely pointers to the duo's future comic genius, they ARE great TV comedy!
(# = guest stars edited out - M and W complete!)

Series 2 (Summer 1962)
* 76 Sunset Strip# -
After the Party/ the classic
Are You Lonesome Tonight with a backing group/
Eric's silent film The Sheik/ Mutiny on the Bounty

* Dr Ben Kildare - with Alex Welsh Band / Beverley Sisters
Eric wreaks havoc with his tape recorder, later he sings 'live' Granada.
The best sketch is their snooker game with a lovely voiceover from Dick.

* Y Cars#
Eric is the Irish one/ Eric's rare plant/ Nice West Side Story take-off/ Eric's party/ Nina and Frederick take off
2.4 Supercar - with Acker Bilk / Beverley Sisters
Eric's dictionary: "imbibation." Plus a scene at a Chinese restaurant,
then by contrast Julius Caesar- Eric who is NOT Brutus
in an early example of the chaos he can cause in a play

* Flintrocks - with Kenny Ball / Beverley Sisters

Eric is Fred, Ernie Barney.
Also an extended Ball in the Bag routine, The Footballers,
and The Air Travellers in which Eric admires the stewardess.
Door Finale: Ernie is Alice in Wonderland, Eric The White Rabbit

2.6 Dick of Doxon Green - with Chris Barber / Beverley Sisters
PC Dick chats on, despite a pitched gunfight, then Eric spends most
of the show trying to be a magician. He also plays on the piano his version of Honeysuckle Rose,
and with Sid and Dick gets the first choice of four girls...

* Naked Village#
Eric shows how to mime punches/ Indian Love Call duet via Telstar/ Eric without glasses, tries to impress the girls/ Abraham Lincoln
* Try your Luck - with Mike Cotton / Susan Maughan
An extended take-off of Take Your Pick/ The Double Headed Penny/
Snap/ Zoo Quest/ Eric as a Minstrel. Eric's on top form in this show

* Face two Face - with Mike Cotton / Teddy Johnson
Eric and his pipe/ Eric a talent scout/ A French farce: "get it off!"/ Hollywood medley, Eric getting drenched
* Juke Box Judges - with Teddy Johnson/Jack Parnell.
"Diabolical" declares Eric of the record he voices over/ Ernie sings whilst Eric acts/
Eric as Edmundo O'Reilly/ A courtroom scene, Eric having most of the parts/ They also sing Two of a Kind to conclude this series

Series 3 (Summer 1963)

3.2 WITH The Mike Sammes Singers and Acker Bilk
3.3 WITH The King Brothers and Barbara Law -
Eric has a dummy (not Ernie!) then the boys play poker and sing and dance with a radio mike
3.4 WITH The Mike Sammes Singers and Sheila Buxton - Eric's holiday slides/
Eric keeps phoning Ernie when he's in the bath/
Hamlet, a masterpiece with Eric as Polonius, who Ernie keeps ordering to "get behind the arras."
Scene-stealing, Ernie orders him, in an immortal line, to "hurry up and die"

3.5 WITH The King Brothers and Janie Marden - Insulting the audience
(with Norman Mitchell)/ Eric's Waterloo model/ Come Dancing/ Flying Doctor

3.6 WITH The King Brothers and Susan Maughan - Ernie wears glasses/
Eric's antique glasses- "only three in the world"/ Dance rehearsal/ Custer

3.7 WITH The King Brothers and Sheila Southern - Eric's matchstick model/
Eric the Gambler/ an early version of the Grieg Piano Concerto sketch/ Ernie as Alice in Wonderland

3.8 WITH Roy Castle- is it a new double "Castle and Wise"? Eric gets jealous, but the trio dance Me and My Shadow. There's also the Eric the Nude Painter sketch
3.9 WITH The Mike Sammes Singers and Shani Wallis -Eric takes an intelligence test/ Haydn’s Quartet in G Opus57/ Macbeth banquet scene/ Count of Monte Carlo

Series 4
* WITH The Beatles -
who sing This Boy,
All My Lovin and Hold Your Hand. With Ernie they sing Moonlight Bay.
Sketches: The Pow Bird, Cooking with Pleasure (take off of the Craddocks),
Eric relating the plot of a John Wayne film

* WITH Herman's Hermits -
'Home from the Wars'/ Two Schoolboys/
A female vocal group- last of the series

Comedy Menu

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HERE'S HARRY
Thank goodness the critics were silenced when Harry Worth's first series The Trouble with Harry was panned. Fortunately Harry rode the storm to produce some unique gems of situation comedy. Here's what the pompous Guy Taylor saw in the first of this series, A Little Knowledge (New Years Day 1960): "The trouble with this show is that it isn't funny. Worth must rely on wit not the cliches which were so obvious in Ronnie Taylor's script. Harry is a writer with a dragon of an aunt who likes to keep him well under control. In the first show he succumbs to buying 32 volumes of an encylopedia, much against aunty's wishes. He tries to hide the fact from her only to find that she has bought him a set of the same books for his birthday. The end was predictable from the very beginning as were Worth's gags and I am wondering whether the central character is strong enough to command a series of his own. I have seen Worth on many occasions in variety shows and found him funny. But in this type of humour which employs the understatement of lines within the framework of a plot, the whole thing becomes drear." After the second show (Danger Men at Work, 8th January) he added: "There has obviously been a great deal of thinking done about this show since its first appearance. I only wish I could report some improvement. It is true the script was a little better, but generally speaking, it still travels from one banality to another."
Brief reviews:
2.1 The Bicycle (1961) - Thinking he's stolen a bike, Harry consults a solicitor, poor Anthony Sharp gradually descends to hysteria. The best part is Sam Kydd's, who plays a postman baffled by Harry's attempt to retrieve a letter, whilst Wensley Pithey is the chief constable who is driven to drink
2.2 The Holiday - Harry's off to Monte Carlo, with a lot of help from travel agent Mr Lloyd (Leonard Williams), a camp photographer Mr Price (Ronnie Stevens) and his MP (Ballard Berkeley)- why his MP? It's to endorse his passport. Finally to Customs (Reginald Marsh) before he boards the wrong plane and ends up in the Isle of Man, alongside poor Mr Lloyd, who's much in need of a holiday himself
2.3 The Request - With reports of a "lunatic" wandering round Broadcasting House, it must be Harry, who is trying to get a record played on Housewife's Choice. Only snag is, Harry doesn't know the title of the song
2.5 The Medals - Harry returns to his old army barracks to collect his service medals, ending up in the office of the brigadier (Anthony Sharp). After we learn of Harry's incredible war record, he's found to be a deserter
2.6 The Voice - Sydney Tafler tries to install Harry's new telly but there's interference from a radio cab. Leonard Williams plays the PO engineer attempting to deal with Harry's problem. As the taxi driver, Michael Brennan longs to meet the elusive Mr Worth
3.2 The Plant
3.4 The Birthday
3.5 The Overdraft
3.7 The Last Train
To more
Harry Worth . . . to Comedy Menu

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HARRY WORTH
1.3 "To Be Called For" (1966) - Harry's at the railway parcels office doing battle with Bryan Pringle ("this is a new experience for me"), as they search for Harry's inheritance, one Penelope. She turns out to be a vintage car: "shall we try priming her with methylated spirits?" Finally Harry's pushed downhill and grinds to a standstill outside the AA recruiting kiosk where Edwin Apps encounters Harry in a classic muddle, and after frustration overflows, he begs Harry "are you sure you want to join sir?" Nice little echoes of the film Genevieve
2.2 "What Ails you?" (1967) - Day One as a hospital visitor for Harry, and he arrives to 'cheer up' Mr Varley (Norman Bird). Misunderstanding the doctor's diagnosis, he believes Varley's on his last legs. Then Harry goes down with the same complaint and seeing Varley's vacant bed he assumes the worst. So why are the staff treating his last hours so lightly? A typical Harry Worth muddle, beautifully executed.
2.9 "A Policeman's Lot" (1967) - When Harry died, the BBC screened this episode prefaced with a generous tribute by Bill Cotton Jr. It was a good choice. Temporary lollipop man Harry first irritates Anthony Sagar, playing a police sergeant when he applies to join the force. "You've heard nothing yet," the sergeant warns his underling. Next brush is with Frank Thornton as the inspector: "it's a wonder we didn't get confused," Harry remarks. "One of us did!" retorts the inspector. Actually, the job is only that of a humble traffic warden. After some dubiously unsuccessful training, Harry, on his first day books the inspector.
3.5 "James Bond, Where Are You?" (1968) - Locked in the library for the weekend, Harry crawls to an adjacent building, a hostile foreign embassy, where he faces interrogation, which includes the priceless line: "Who is your Superior in British Intelligence?" The honest Harry admits nearly everyone is. MI5 refuse an exchange of spies, and the embassy officials end up beaten men
4.5 "Just The Job" (1969, b/w)- Bad tempered Mr Nutter (Victor Maddern) deals with Harry's dole application. Or tries to. Harry ends up working at the Labour Exchange where kind Mr Coles (Arthur Pentelow) instructs him on the niceties of the job. Or rather, he was Nice Mr Coles. Harry's first client is Miss Timmins (Jan Holden), and then it's poor Mr Nutter, who is now looking for a new post. Of course it has to end with Harry getting the sack himself
4.6 "Anyone for Golf?" (1969, b/w) - Richard Wattis and Georgina Cookson play husband and wife, Harry's latest innocent 'victims' when Harry's poor golf shot lands his ball in their pristine back garden. After a visit from our hero, the garden is devastated and the partners split up. But the best moments are reserved for the police, in the shape of Reginald Marsh, trying to unravel the whole mess
To
Harry's later ITV series . . . Comedy Menu

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Whacko! with Jimmy Edwards who surely had his finest hour as the incompetent headmaster ("le loi, c'est moi"), and Arthur Howard who was a perfect balance as his deputy Pettigrew, dim to the ways of the world, but absolutely honest.
3.5 (21st October 1958)- Lumley's dad insists he achieves something at school so the "Sword of Damocockles" is hanging over Jim. He devises a scheme- ballroom dancing lessons with St Mildred's School, Petters in charge. However it needs all Jim's authority to make Lumley dance with Deirdre. It's love! To impress her he takes up boxing, and even some maths, "every one correct!" Now he's engaged, he refuses to take part in the boxing finals, which Jim has fixed, so his opponent Figgins wins, but by a stroke of luck Lumley's dad is satisfied
Series ?- Oliver Pettigrew wins £38,000 on the pools. Jim knows how to "begone dull care" even if Petters regards it as a "hardship." A reluctant Pettigrew is exposed to "a right catalogue of debauchery" and "one sample of the fleshpots" at the glossy Ritz Carlton changes him: "this is the life!"
Colour series 8- * A mystifying illness ("nothing trivial I hope!") has laid the Lower Third low. It's related to Jim's edict that the school have to wear Etons. When 362 Etons are stolen during the night by "The Eton Suit Mob," Jim can retaliate by nicking all the pupils' grey flannels. But then next night the staff too find their clothing has disappeared, and today's the day for the visit of 200 refined ladies! Jim's masterstroke nearly wins the day: "c'est moi qui a gagne"
Seven Faces of Jim (1961) (Actually we only have Six Faces, as we are missing the opening Face of Devotion.)
2. The Face of Duty- Nice affectionate tribute to the RAF war films, only this is at Jimicabs. Skipper Jim needs drivers “with guts,” not like his newest recruit, his own son (Richard Briers). Yet, in dense fog, the “weakling” proves his mettle by driving Ernest Marples to his destination, and returning to base, badly guided by dad
3 The Face of Genius - the best of the bunch. A brilliant scientist, Jim that is, has to communicate with The Thing from outer space. The spores from it change Jim's wife (Prunella Scales) into a man (Dick Emery). This is a quite surreal bit of fun, as the couple ponder divorce, whilst a colonel (Paul Eddington) transforms into "a ruddy girl" (June Whitfield)- "one minute you're an officer and a gentleman, the next minute you're an officer and a bint!" "The mind boggles" as famous names change sex, Judith Chalmers reading the news is now Ronnie Barker....
4 The Face of Power - 1840, in't northern town where dad's being sacked from his own shop, and by James, his own son too. He's an ambitious lad, and marries t'uppercrust Letty (June Whitfield), even though dad warns "money and power are not the be-all and end-all." 'Tis only when rich James' gas mantle empire collapses that that truth cums home
5 The Face of Dedication - "From the 50 Most Hackney Plots in Fiction, Jim portrays a humble old-fashioned country doctor." His secret past as Jim Smith No3780246 leads to his being blackmailed by Sidney Figgins (Ronnie Barker). As the "blaggard" romances Jim's innocent daughter Pru (June Whitfield), Jim plans his suicide, only for Sidney to be run over by a sewage lorry. The gallant Jim has to operate to save the villain's life
6 The Face of Enthusiasm - Agent Jimmy Rolfe loses his only artistes, rock star Ricky Groyne (Richard Briers) and Maudie Glover (Amanda Barrie), the Musical Nude. He tries to promote a teashop band to become "the big thing," and a record by the Julia Burke-Adams Tea-Time Three is a hit on Juke Box Jury. Fame for a few days for Julia (June Whitfield) afore Jim's dim secretary Norman (Melvyn Hayes) is acclaimed the next wonder, with his barrel organ
7 The Face of Guilt - Shivering Rock Lighthouse has but two inhabitants, Jim, here as Caleb, and Richard Briers. "Time crawls" here, until the ghost of Inigo haunts them and Inigo's wife forces Caleb to explain how Inigo disappeared one Christmas....
More Faces of Jim (1962) - Fatherhood - with Ronnie Barker, Brian Oulton
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Meet the Wife with Thora Hird and Freddie Frinton
Comedy Playhouse Pilot:
The Bed (1963)
1.3 The Back (1964)- Breakfast in Bed- "this is what they call Living!" But after Freddie's cooking, Thora isn't very pleased with the mess he's left in the kitchen. Freddie seeks consolation in the pub and a chance for him to do his drunk routine is not taken. If I say the highlights are the squeaking wardrobe door, and the milkman who's overcharged them, you'll have some idea of the banality of the story
1.6 The Business Dinner - This is about a candlelit dinner in honour of master builder Frank (Michael Brennan) and his wife, Freddie's ex girl friend Mabel (Mavis Villiers). Can Freddie get some work out of Frank on the strength of this meal? Not when Freddie opens wine bottles with drills and smashes Thora's best plate. Their attempt at social climbing rather backfires, as does this script
1.7 The Strain - Freddie strains his shoulder and bumps his head at work. "Ring for the doctor." But before the doc gets there, Thora has to make the house "presentable," and Fred also, by shaving him and putting a new pair of pyjamas on him. Some overhasty tidying sets the bed alight. Almost amusing
4.5 The Merry Widow (1965) - Freddie "don't feel too well" until the flighty Blossom (Avis Bunnage) ...er... nurses him in the wife's absence. Returning, Thora jumps to the wrong conclusions before the vicar (Arthur Howard) comes to sort it out- "blow the ruddy vicar!"
4.6 Journey Home - Boxing Day, and Freddie and Thora travel home by rail, in the days when trains ran over the festive season. The ancient art of Keeping a Free Compartment and the intricacies of the old-style railway timetable are two of their innocuous pastimes before they become stranded at a remote junction
5.7 Old Time Dancing (1966) - "I've got a darts practice so I can't go." But Freddie has to, with Thora to the Dancing Competition practice: "you're off balance on your pivots," he's told by the belligerent teacher (Fabia Drake at her most bullish). Mr BBC, Peter West, introduces the contest and it goes without a single laugh until Freddie has a little drink. Even then there's not much to laugh about

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Lance Percival Show - 1966 BBC series

with guest Jon Pertwee - Jon does one solo sketch where all the props go wrong

with guest Millicent Martin (8th April, Easter)- A distinguished team of writers produce a dire script. The best sketch is rather inventive however, of a married couple living an ordinary life on the moon

with guest Dick Emery - The TV Guards sketch has some topical digs at the telly, whilst the song Granada takes a few enjoyable swipes at Sidney Bernstein's programmes

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TERRY SCOTT
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Hugh and I - with Terry Scott and Hugh Lloyd

1.5 Fete Worse Than Death 1:6 It's a Dog's Life 1.7 Putting on the Ritz 1.8 Love Thy Neighbour
2:5 Prison Visitor 2:9 Sink of Iniquity 3:7 Escort Duty 4:4 A Brace of Peasants
Terry Scott had started on BBC tv comedy in 1957 with Scott Free, and by 1962 when this series started, he was almost a veteran. Certainly he had honed his comic persona, and Hugh Lloyd proved an admirable foil for Scott's blustering well-meaning incompetent.
Over 5 years they made 69 episodes, and whilst never a top BBC hit, the programme was cosy, likeable and in many ways epitomised the BBC's skill at producing comedy which really could make you laugh.
In 1968 Scott and Lloyd's new series was Hugh and I Spy, cashing in on the spy craze then in vogue, whilst the next year, now on BBC2, saw their inventive The Gnomes of Dulwich

Terry Scott continued without Hugh Lloyd with these rather awful 'specials'-
Scott on Marriage (1968) - with Terry Scott, June Whitfield and Peter Butterworth
A generally weak script by a Bryan Blackburn leads to a lot of overacting, but the best sketch is reserved for the last, with Terry trying to be a sixties swinger. And the final comments have a ghastly ring of truth:
An ageing June: "I didn't think much of that, did you dear?"
An ancient Terry: "I certainly did not. If that's what marriage is all about, the engagement's off!"
And that's as good as it gets.

Scott on Travel (1971) - with June Whitfield and Frank Thornton
Dave Freeman was now writing the script, not his finest hour. Some of the sketches include The Neurotic Pilot, The Travel Agents - a song duet, The Highwayman with Terry as a cowardly Captain Fearless, A Canal Cruise- a filmed interlude with Terry getting soaked, The Hotel Waiter and a satirical Star Trek a la Scott, a musical! RIP
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1:5 (1962) A Fete Worse Than Death-
Last year's traditional church fete made a loss of 6s 8d, so Mr Scott proposes a Pageant of English History this year. But where would the costumes come from?
"If you care to come round sometime, "Miss Chauncey suggests, "you can ferret through my trunk!"
After a lot of debate, and ill-feeling, as "we all do what Mr Scott says we should do," the idea is agreed.
Terry plans the project which will include such famous events as The Murdering of the Princesses in the Tower and The Execution of Anne Boleyn. "Who's going to be the narrator?" ask mum needlessly. "Need you ask," replies Hugh. Yes Terry is organising it all.
Hammy retired actors, Mr and Mrs Smythe agree to take the leads- as long as they can adapt Terry's script. Certainly their declamation suggests they are the part. But when they fall ill, Miss Jenks (Joan Hickson) has to step into the breech.... and the "inescapable conclusion is that we're lumbered with Lloyd!" He plays William the Conqueror at rehearsal. "Can't Norma be queen?" pleads Hugh.
"I fancy a piece of England," the Conqueror announces. "I will conquer them .... Monday." "Mon Dieu," corrects Terry. The scene becomes too drawn out and tedious, with other corny lines around the Magna Carta, with Mr Spriggs (Julian Orchard) a far from fierce baron.
Before the big day, an even older chesnut, as the vicar announces the fete from the pulpit, adding "the preacher next Sunday, you will find hanging in the entrance."
The day of the fete, it is pouring with rain. So it's all indoors for bingo!

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1:6 It's a Dog's Life
Mum is happily singing- "I didn't know I was." Hugh is chewing apples so noisily that Terry can't complete his Times crossword!
Norma pops round to offer them a puppy. Mum and Hugh both agree, but Terry is, of course, set against it- "it's a conspiracy."
So, in secret, Hugh brings home a dog and hides it. His first task is to 'borrow' some food, so at dinner that evening Mr Wormald's liver and bacon is pocketed whilst he's looking the other way. In a well performed scene, when he asks for seconds, Mrs Wormald tells her baffled husband, "I don't think you ought to have any more."
Then up in his bedroom Hugh talks to his new friend Patricia. Which makes Terry in the adjacent room decide "he's delirious... he's going bonkers."
So he calls in the Crispins from next door to deal with him, and with umbrellas at the ready, they try reasoning with poor Hugh.
"Perhaps he's suffering from magnesia," suggests mum. And seeing him chatting, apparently to himself, crouched under his bed, her diagnosis seems confirmed.
But then Hugh notices Patricia isn't there. Where has she gone? The possibility of her being lost sends Hugh wild. But never fear, as Terry calms down and returns to his bed, there's Patricia!
Terry makes Hugh take the dog to the dog's home, but when they emerge, Terry is now the proud owner of two himself

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1:7 Putting on the Ritz (28/8/1962)
"Oh Terry, you're not thinking of working again?" sighs Mum. Admittedly, "unemployed" Terry is "hard to place" but could American Jefferson Freebody offer him a job? To impress this gent, Terry offers to show him round town.
As Hugh has had a pay rise, and Harold Wormold can loan him a dinner suit, Hugh joins Terry for a night at the Carlton. But before they go Cyril Smith as Wormold demonstrates his old music hall routine, ending with Mrs Wormold's classic line: "'s not getting any better!"
Hugh and I announce themselves at the upper crust hotel: "tradesman's entrance is round the corner!" However Terry's acquaintance with dear Lord Popham (Fred Emney) gets them inside at last.
"Lloyd, would you like an aperitif?"
"Yes, has it got any bones in it?"
Other jokes follow, in similar vein, such as:
Terry, ordering: "a fairly dry Martini."
Hugh: "a fairly wet one." He adds: "have you any tripe and onions?"
Freebody and his wife join them for the meal. Terry introduces "my man" Lloyd, who explains "I was born in captivity."
Lord Popham sits through it all, with an occasional arousal from slumber: "try the shrotted pimps."
To Terry's consternation his guests order caviar and champagne, followed by "more champagne" until, with drink freely flowing, Terry is offered the job.
"Anything troubling you?" queries Hugh when the guests have departed. It's the bill for £47 10/-. So the corny end sees Terry's job as peeling spuds, with Hugh opening oyster shells. Is there something inside this one...?

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1.8 Love Thy Neighbour (4/9/1962)

Both Hugh and Terry are hopping around, as they have each lost a slipper. "Perhaps we've been burgled!" But it's only Patricia the dog.
A more serious concern is Crispin's new car. "That pile of junk" has to be parked in front of Terry's house, because of the lines on the road. But really Terry is "eaten up with envy." Says Mrs Crispin:
"We're going down to the coast."
"Brighton?" asks Mrs Scott.
Nothing so common...... Hove!"
Thick smoke from their car drifts in through the Scott's window, and that decides Terry on Action. At 2am he creeps out to the road with Hugh, telling him to paint a line on the road to stop Crispin parking there. "Very pretty," declares the inevitable policeman. "We work for the council," Terry explains lamely.
Next day the magistrate fines each £5. And smoke, whenever that car starts up, is still pouring in through that window. So another scheme- Hugh will buy a car, says Terry, and park it outside the house.
They find a car for sale, owner eccentric Sir Ralph Springer (William Fox), who is selling his ancient Rolls: "a bit big isn't it?!" Terry assures Hugh- "all the better for putting Crispin's bonnet out of joint."
With some difficulty, the car is started, and pours out smoke a la Crispin's car.
Now they are off for a picnic with the Wormolds. The Crispins stand by, rather impressed: "Where are you going? Brighton?"
Quips Terry: "Nothing so common......... Frinton!"
Which one of you is the driver?" asks Wormold, as noone's in the driving seat. They'd overlooked that point!

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2:5 (1963) Prison Visitor
"Patricia, take daddy into the garden and bury him," shouts an exasperated Terry, at his dog who's happily playing with Hugh. To be truthful, Patricia is rather too frisky for Hugh Lloyd.
For Terry has more important things on his mind. The crime wave for example: "perhaps I can do something in that direction." Being interested in the criminal mind, he decides to "redeem the fallen."
32439 (Kenneth J Warren) is his first victim. He's in for robbery with violence. "Good morning mate!" begins Terry, spitting on the floor. "I don't believe you're a criminal at all." He offers to help when the six year sentence is run. You could say, it's not exactly a successful visit.
Back home, he bemoans the "cardboard characters in phoney situations," that are on telly, when 32439 enters. He "got out unexpectedly." He forces Terry to change clothes. Says mum to her boy: "I do hope you remembered to put on your clean vest and pants!"
Hugh has been at the shops, and when he gets back, Terry tries but fails to get him to phone the police. "Just watch it fatso," warns 32439. After that Hugh calls him fatso too!
Terry recalls that unreal tv show they were watching. Someone had dialled the cops. "What happened then?" asks Hugh. Adds Terry: "the gangster shot him!" But Hugh is still persuaded to make the call, only mum sees him and asks who he's phoning!
Cecil and Griselda barge their way into the hosue, in order to watch Z Cars. "I would have to choose a nuthouse!" sighs the convict.
Hugh has to go to the toilet, and so uses the chance to speak through the window to Mrs Crispin next door. That brings Mr Crispin round complaining of their "sex mad lodger!" Asks Terry: "have you been disgusting in the bathroom?"
But at least Crispin has phoned the police about the incident. 32439 has to run off, thus when the police enter, they find Terry, in convict garb, and it's him they take away

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2:9 Sink of Iniquity - BBC domestic comedy at its cosy best.
Terry seems to be a little jealous of Hugh's "improved physique" he's getting with his chest expander. Norma admires him too. "You don't need it," Terry tells her. Norma has popped in to ask to use the phone to contact an electrician.
However as it's only a fuse needs mending, Hugh volunteers to do the job. Terry is soon taking charge. "You can always count on us," he boasts, rather unwisely as it turns out.
The fusebox is above the sink and Terry is soon putting his foot in it, the sink that is, which now needs their attention too. "You can damn well pay for a new one," swears Mrs Crispin. "I happen to be mending your fuse," a goaded Terry responds with as much dignity as a man with a foot through a sink can muster.
As Slocombe the plumber is so expensive Terry promises to install the new sink as "it's only a fiddly little job."
Fatal words. The first snag is getting the unit in through the kitchen door. As it won't, Terry and Hugh carry the sink round to go in via the front door. Pausing for a rest, removal men next door pick up the sink unit loading it on to their van.
After a chase, Terry and Hugh begin a classic conversation at the local police station where the sergeant (Deryck Guyler) jots down the details of this "sink theft." He exhibits all the equanimity of a policeman trained to patiently unravel absolutely any problem, as he asks them in puzzled tones "surely the neighbours would know if their sink was missing?" In a lovely scene, the sergeant at last grasps the situation... he thinks!
"I was mending the fuse," explains Terry.
"Was it an electric sink?" queries the policeman.
"Have you got another branch near here?" sighs Terry.
Finally the sink is returned. Jeers Crispin "Luton's a long way round to go from the back door to the front!" There's more slapstick, almost it seems Terry is Oliver to Hugh's Stan Laurel.
"Next time you can mend your own fuse," concludes Terry, though of course it turns out the fuse wasn't what was wrong. The sink is a botched job too. Result- the Crispins have to eat round at Terry's, Hugh being left to work on the task alone....
"We're going to have to rebuild the whole house!" cries Mrs Crispin. "It's been one of those days," agrees Hugh

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3:7 (1964) Escort Duty -
The good old days when TV closed down for the night. Mum is standing for the National Anthem and won't be interrupted by Terry, who has to wait, contorting his face as it plays: "you squeeze the last drop out of your licence!" He's impatient to phone the Daily Chronicle to confirm he has won their boxing competition. Prize is two tickets for the big fight.
Of course he hasn't won so he searches for a job, so he can get the money to buy a ticket for the boxing. An armed escort with Hugh alongside- that's it! However the agency only wants escorts for two Italian sisters, "sightseeing in the Rolls"- and at £50 each it's a go.
On the tenth floor of posh Crawfords Hotel, they first meet the girls' mother, who interrogates them. Maria and Sophia are "unpinning their heads!" she explains. The boys see they have to impress the lady, so to her remark "we have a chalet in Switzerland," the response is- Terry "we have got one....," Hugh: "...in Skegness." But when the attractive Maria finally enters, her first line "I am entirely in your hands" can only evoke "Phew!" from Terry. They just have to impress. Terry: "I'm Scott of Scotts Hall," Hugh "Yes, and I am Lloyd of London." After more idle chat, assuming the roles of nobs, they bid "toodly pippy," and from Hugh "chinchilla," to get togged up for the night out.
It's a little awkward picking the girls up outside Scotts Hall, as this is Buckingham Palace. As the boys arrive, the girls are explaining to the policeman on duty "we know the owner!" Then they go off on their dates, Terry snoring through a concert at the Festival Hall, whilst Hugh takes the excitable Maria to the Big Fight.
Uninspiring
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4:4 (1965) A Brace of Peasants -

The opening scene is in the bathroom, Hugh using Terry's watch as a plug for the basin. Today it's the start of the summer holidays, and each year they have gone to Brighton, for as Hugh says "there's nowhere like Brighton." Retorts Terry; "the only place you ever tried was Hove!"
But Terry longs for something different, like shooting in the Scottish Highlands. "There's nowhere like Brighton," repeats Hugh. But Terry has already booked them for grouse shooting.
So they ask a shopkeeper (Anthony Sharp) for "two bangers." He gets increasingly irritated by Hugh's ignorance. Terry orders the guns and asks them to be sent to his Club. "Which club?" Hugh enlightens him: "the Tooting Bowls Club."
The King's Cross to Aberdeen express sees Terry and Hugh in shooting regalia, as they settle into a crowded compartment. "We're going to bag a few grice," Hugh informs his fellow travellers, who prove, not surprisingly, to be "a touchy lot." Terry scoffs food until the ticket collector (Deryck Guyler) tells them they are in the wrong portion of the train for Scotland.
Their new travelling companions are Lord Popham (Fred Emney) and his wife Sybil (Judith Furse). She asks Hugh about where they are to shoot: "you do realise you can't shoot ad lib?" "No grouse," corrects Hugh, "grice."
Popham invites them to his place.
Next morning Hugh is only half awake, and longing to be in Brighton. In a confusing story, an army training exercise gets mixed up with the shoot. A soldier (Frank Williams) explains his plans to a mystified Hugh and Terry. "What are you talking about?" They decide he's an escaped lunatic.
"Keep an eye on that, will you?" the soldier asks, 'that' being a machine gun. Popham joins the lads and stares at their gun: "is that yours?" He takes charge, leaving the two boys to go to Brighton, and try their luck with the girls there

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Comedy Playhouse
BBC's showcase for potential new series.

Question-
Name the legendary showbiz couple who starred in the 1966 Comedy Playhouse, A Little Learning? He played the dean and she the bursar at the University of Wessex. The eternal triangle looms its head when a new female bursar is appointed.
Answer

1.4 The Offer (1962) - Steptoe and Son's first outing
2.1 Our Man in Moscow (1963)
2.3 Impasse (1963)
2.5 A Clerical Error
2.6 The Handyman
3.12 The Bed - (1963) Puzzle - how did this warrant being promoted to a full series, Meet the Wife?
5.1 The Bishop Rides Again (1966)- the pilot for All Gas and Gaiters
6.8 The Old Campaigner (1967)
13.3 Born Every Minute (1972, colour)

Galton and Simpson Playhouse
LWT lured these BBC stalwarts to try and repeat their brilliance, only for more money.

An Extra Bunch of Daffodils (May 1969) - Anticipation and surprise are the essence of great comedy. This black comedy has anticipation, as you can see what's coming almost as soon as we meet Lawrence (Stratford Johns) at the cemetry where he's putting flowers on the grave of Wife Number Five. There he bumps into rich widow Mildred (Patsy Rowlands) who, after a whirlwind courtship ends up as Number Six. How does it end up? Well surely you can anticipate that.....
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2.1 Our Man in Moscow (1963) - A nicely observed vignette of the Cold War, of a tuba player (Patrick Wymark) who seeks political asylum. Our gentle ambassador (Robert Morley) turns into The Lion of Moscow in a tussle to persuade him to defect

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Impasse
It's a snowy day, as seen on some external film shots, as two cars converge on each other, ending up bumper to bumper along a narrow lane. "Back up!" both drivers shout.
One is Albert (Bernard Cribbins) with his wife (Yootha Joyce) in his old banger, "a heap of old tin," the car that is.
The other is the stately Charles (Leslie Phillips) with his wife Celia (Georgina Cookson) in his Rolls Royce.
Both drivers refuse to back up, both believe they're in the right and both wives cannot convince their spouses to stop behaving so childishly.
"I know how to handle this type," Charles tells Celia confidently.
But Albert refuses to give in: "you think because you've got a great big Rolls Royce, you own the road."
It's a classic class slanging match, with all the old jokes, yet perfectly performed. The blustering is interrupted by the arrival of the AA man (Harry Locke), who is called upon to exercise all his years of wisdom to adjudicate. About to side with the upper class, he spots Albert is an AA member, but not Charles. But then an RAC patrolman (Duncan Macrae) drives up to take Charles' side. Now it's a slanging match, AA versus RAC.
At last a solution is agreed- measure the distance back from both cars to the nearest lay-by. But before this is resolved up cycles "Z Cars," a local bobby (Campbell Singer) who finds technical faults with both vehicles. However it's Albert's wreck, he pontificates, that must be pushed back for necessary repairs, though Charles doesn't win either, as he finds his destination is actually behind him!
If it all sounds a little tedious, it is, but the compensations are there with a fine study of comic attitudes, and a fine bunch of comic characters

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The Clerical Error
The idea of John le Mesurier playing a conman was a superb one, but Galton and Simpson's script attempts to develop several sub-plots without satisfactorily settling on any.

Just out of The Scrubs after another three months inside, is a gentle conman (John le Mesurier), who is welcomed back home by his aged mother (Amy Dalby) with "do try and keep out a little longer this time!"
But he's already "out on business," this vicar, at the local, with a collecting box, asking customers to "give generously to the house of the Lord." Profuse thanks are offered to all donors, including a tart (Yootha Joyce) who is curious as to which denomination he represents. "The best of all the others," he replies blandly, adding, "are you interested in theology?!" "Anything for a laugh," she responds, "you're not like any vicar I've ever met!"
Outside, counting his collection 'Caleb Bullrush' is pleased: "the wages of sin aren't too bad this evening!"
The Hotel Europa, Euston, is where he escorts the young lady, booking in as man and wife. But there's an interruption... A policeman knocks: "the inspector would like a word with you."
But it's not what the vicar fears, he's wanted in his "professional capacity." A threatened suicide demands his attention, explains the inspector (Russell Napier). So reluctantly he bids the girl a temporary adieu, with only a hymn book for company.
"Good evening my son, been a funny sort of day, hasn't it?" he begins talking to Watt, the man on the ledge. Biblical quotes from the clergyman are corrected by Watt before the best scene, done so unhurriedly, as the vicar orders tea and bikkies for two. "Like Harold Lloyd," a cuppa is brought out. "Lovely view up here." But not long to admire it, for off falls the poor vicar, a hundred feet down into a fireman's net.
The postscript. The Week's Good Cause on Tv. Rear Admiral Sir Brian Grenville Drake appeals on behalf of the National Fund for Resettlement of Distressed Lighthouse keepers.
A Clerical Error introduces several potentially fine characters and situations (mother, the tart) but they disappear in a rambling storyline that is really only held together by John le Mes' charm.
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2.6 The Handyman
Post of General Handyman at an exclusive health clinic is filled by Hogg, played by Alfred Marks, who was ubiquitous in early tv comedies, but it's hard to see why he was so much in demand.
Arriving at reception, he learns he is to be treated like the guests, and half a bar of fruit and nut is confiscated, for patients here are on a very strict diet. Smoking is forbidden. "Where's the machine gun tower?" jokes the smooth talking Cockney.
The clinic is run with a rod of iron by Dr Basil Davidson (Anthony Sharp), assisted by his besotted matron. He tells Hogg he's obese and orders "something special" for his lunch of 130 calories, "no extraneous stodge."
It's all too much for Lionel Hogg, who starts smuggling food into his cellar for a nice fry-up. However the smell of his cooking wafts upwards, driving one patient, Harris, wild. "One little nibble," he begs Hogg, when he discovers what's going on. "I'll pay- £1 for a sausage!" Meeting with a refusal he ups his bid to £4. And that sets Hogg thinking.
Harris is soon guzzling food brought in by Hogg, and others soon follow the downward path, "on the move" down to the basement. Soon tables are set, and patients are enthusing over "the most wonderful meal I've ever eaten."
"They're all putting on weight," cries the baffled doctor. But Hogg is content- he's making a nice profit at his Blue Lagoon basement restaurant. Until there's a raid. "You're fired!"
But rebellion by all the patients yields a compromise- upstairs there's dieting, downstairs there's plenty of food. So everyone ends up happy. Apart from Hogg, who is now making no profit, so he scarpers off to join a monastery. A simple pleasant bit of fun.

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3.12 The Bed - (Dec 28th 1963)
7am, time to get up. Thora (Thora Hird) hasn't "slept a wink all night" as the bed's "all lumpy." With their 25th wedding anniversary coming up, she decides it's time for a new bed. Husband Freddie (Freddie Frinton) takes her nagging with a resigned look of stoicism.
In the bed showroom, with her ever moaning about the way he pinches the blankets, they are shown a "larger extra wide" double bed, though Thora fancies a twin at £57 10/-. But Freddie prefers the double at a mere £38 10/-.
"Would you like to try for yourselves?" asks the salesman (Brian Oulton).
"What go to bed in a shop!" They do try one with a split mattress: "it prevents you rolling together," explains the salesman. Thora settles down in it, and buys it.
It's the first night at home with the new bed, to incessant chatter from Thora, who has to check there really are 673 springs; "I can only see one!"
Fred has to get in and out of bed to make adjustments. At last he can settle down with the Greyhound Gazette, but Thora's light's faulty, so that needs mending. He has more dull misadventures before Thora echoes all our hopes: "let's get settled down."
The weary Freddie announces "I'm going to the spare room." But all is forgiven when she discovers his anniversary present for her, and she joins him in their old bed.

A really grim attempt, a lifeless comedy
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The Old Campaigner
Written by Michael Pertwee.
Peter Clancy (Derek Fowlds) is "promising material" at work, but not the sort of material that F-J (Terry-Thomas) needs on his business trip to Paris. It's "hard slogging" for the ill-matched pair.
"I'm sure I shall learn a tremendous lot from you," Peter tells his superior, and in a way he's right. For F-J is planning his usual fun with the French femmes, but Clancy's scruples put the dampers on. After some uninspiring debate, Peter reluctantly agrees to tag along. But the first female that F-J phones is "mort," whilst 'Fred' (Nadja Regin) has married, however thankfully Louise is willing and promises to bring Karina.
Champagne is flowing as the girls arrive, but it's "devastation!" Remarks Clancy: "she's gone off a bit." F-J can only groan "Gone off? She was never on!" For Louise is his old cook. So F-J feigns illness and the evening is called off.
Now F-J has quickly recovered, he arranges a date at the cinema with Fanny. Tragedy strikes when F-J twists his ankle, so Peter has to take F-J's place.
He has a fine old time and we next see him chatting up the maid with champagne.
Next morning he's showing F-J a gold cigarette lighter he's bought for the maid, much to F-J's utter surprise.

This is an awfully hackneyed script, which Terry-Thomas does his best with, despite several fluffed lines. However he shows his touch in adlibbing brilliantly when there's an unexpected crashing noise backstage
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Born Every Minute. Script: Jack Popplewell
Two strangers on a train, first class naturally. Alexander Barney (Ronald Fraser) of the Metropolitan Oil Corporation has lost his ticket, as well as his wallet. "I do humbly apologise," he assures the ticket collector, but his kind fellow passenger Sir Rufus Wright (Campbell Singer) kindly loans him the fare. And soon Sir Rufus is "eating out of my hand," as Barney, real name Harry, is telling his partner in crime, Johnny (James Beck), later. Their scheme is to "show him a bargain and leave the rest to greedy disposition."
But both these conmen have a weakness... beautiful women. And at their hotel, both are competing for the blonde Penelope (Juliet Harmer): "what's a pretty girl like you...?" and other cliches. She seems more taken with Harry, perhaps because he seems richer. As for Johnny, "he's got about as much chance as Frankenstein," believes Harry.
Harry has been invited to dine with Sir Rufus and his susceptible wife (Mollie Sugden). Flattery is the order of the day: "what a very nice place you have here." While they enjoy a delicious meal washed down with the finest wine, poor Johnny has to content himself with ham sandwich and a coffee.
Sir Rufus works in Hatton Garden and is prepared to offer Harry £500 for his diamond ring. "It can't be worth all that," exclaims an amazed Harry.
Later he has his rendezvous with Johnny at the station, after bidding farewell to the effusive Penelope. Harry is triumphant- he'd switched the ring for a fake, and pocketed £500 cash. But where is the cash? His wallet has been lifted!
"That bird" has conned the conmen, and she's got the genuine ring too!
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5.1 The Bishop Rides Again (1966)- the pilot for
All Gas and Gaiters . To fulfil the terms of a bequest the Bishop has to ride a white horse and distribute forty pairs of white hose to forty worthy maidens - it proves a tough assignment

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All Gas and Gaiters
Derek Nimmo played 'Noote', The Bishop was the reliable William Mervyn and Robertson Hare completed a wonderful trio of bumbling but sympathetic clerics, whilst John Barron's dreaded Dean gave some bite to the fun. Also see
Comedy Playhouse

The Bishop Gets the Sack (1967) -Not so serious as it might sound, the title refers to the fact that the Bishop isn't up to hosting a TV programme about St Ogg's Cathedral. The producer (John le Mesurier) then tries out the Dean and Archdeacon, before discovering Noote is a TV natural
The Bishop Sees a Ghost - These days Bishops do keep all night vigils, but do they ever sit up all night with a bag of flour to catch a ghost?
The Bishop Loves His Neighbour (1970 colour) - Exhortations from the Dean about his Good Neighbour Week have the desired effect on the Bishop. He gladly donates to the Dean his tickets to an absorbing lecture on the Pentateuch
The Bishop Beats the System -"The Cathedral is impregnable," says the Dean. This boast thanks to his new security system. However the Bishop persuades Noote to hide in the cathedral after evensong to 'borrow' the cloak of St Ogg, which can be used to raise much needed funds
The Bishop Warms Up (1971 b/w print) - The choir have to sleep in the Bishop's palace, which means He has to share with Noote. As Noote's room is right by the new central heating boiler, it gets very very hot. But worse is in store on the morrow, as the Dean has planned an extra long Music Fest...
The Bishop Entertains- Before the Bishop "filled out" he knew Poppy. He now wants her to open the Garden Party and, more importantly, to propose to her. Best moment is when the Dean and his wife mistake the archdeacon, dressed as an ugly fortune teller, for the bishop's intended
The Bishop Gives a Present - In the best of the surviving stories, the Dean has been seen with a blonde in Bridge Street, and "after ten o'clock!" In the magazine 'Her' is a letter from "Worried St Oggs." And now Mrs Pugh-Critchley (Joan Sanderson) wants to see the Bishop on a "rather delicate matter." Of course it's all a mistake - blame the Dean for keeping on and on about his silver wedding anniversary!
The Bishop Shows His Loyalty - Jealousy, as the Dean is invited to Windsor to preach his long winded sermon on Anglo-Methodist relations. But whilst pulling down the Bishop's tree, he is hurt, and the Bishop has to preach the sermon. His views are diametrically opposed to the Dean's, but the invitation turns out to be not to the Castle at all, but to a conference of Anglicans and Methodists...
The Bishop Has a Rest - Saturday afternoon, and time for the Bishop and the Archdeacon to put their feet up, but alas, their slumbers are disturbed by the Dean ringing the cathedral bells. There follows a battle for silence in which for once the Dean isn't really the winner
The Bishop Loses His Chaplain - Mrs Pugh-Critchley comes to the palace to watch the forbidden television (forbidden by the dean of course). Ostensibly she's here to chaperone her niece who is being "entertained" by Noote - in his bedroom. But surely Noote can't need watching?
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Steptoe and Son
A huge hit, we confess to being late converts, though not fans.

1.1 The Offer (1962 Comedy Playhouse pilot)
1.5 The Diploma-
"British Junk for the British!" An interesting argument about the Common Market and the tunnel give this the feel of a mild period satire, as Harold and Albert explore the politics of it all in their own way. The story begins with a nice contrast between the two: Harold the intellectual, reading as he goes totting, and Albert back home swigging. It's clear business is low: "we can't go on like this." As a study of two "pathetic" strugglers, this is beautifully written, though I find it too genuinely real to be too funny. Harold, realising there's no future, has decided to study for a diploma to become a tv engineer, so whilst he struggles with the intracicacies of thermodynamics, it's Albert who has to do the round with the cart, ringing his bell, and soon discovering the hard facts about the dwindling modern day rag and bone trade. Yet almost inevitably, Harold is not up to the mark. What's a condenser for, inquires Albert of his hopeful offspring. Harold attempts an explanation. Albert looks dubious. Perhaps the main scenes are a little overlong, as Albert points out helpfully "that bit goes there." Suggestion ignored. Fianlly Harold is goaded into switching on the tv he has constructed, but again, the script is just over elaborated as he reaches the point of failure. Albert however makes a few quick changes as poor Harold stands by despairing. "Soon get my diploma," mutters Albert as the set lights up: Here Is The News! Harold admits defeat. To sustain this half hour comedy with but two characters is a fine feat, and it almost works here
3.4 Steptoe a la Cart (1964)
5.7 Men of Property (1970)
6.6 Pot Black
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Our Man at St Mark's with Leslie Phillips
A-R's gentle comedy about a quiet vicar in a quiet parish. The inimitable Joan Hickson is the housekeeper.
1.1 "The Facts of Life" -The vicar is preparing his harvest sermon with a rather obvious joke on the horizon... "the most difficult thing of all to practice is tolerance," when of course he's interrupted by his housekeeper (Joan Hickson) and he gets rather ratty with her. But the theme continues nicely through the story as his girfriend Anne tells him "people think it's funny, people going out with vicars." So she'd like him please not to wear his dog collar at the party tonight. "People don't expect vicars to cuddle!" But he feels he must wear that collar even though "it might inhibit people."
Parishioners are bringing in produce for the harvest. There's some confusion over the two children who do so, Johnny (Kevin Bennett) is called 'Philip' at one point whilst Casey (Gillian Gostling) is introduced by the vicar as 'Tracey'. It's she who informs our vicar that "I'm going to have a baby" but as she's only about nine there's an awkward conversation ahead for Our Man. How does she know? he manages to ask. "A woman knows these things." Further gentle questioning gets to the heart of it all: Johnny must marry her "because he kissed me." Poor Johnny is told to apologise for such behaviour and as the vicar orders him, he realises he also should show some tolerance over that burning issue of the Dog Collar.

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It's a Square World

A unique series with Michael Bentine. Here was Goon-type humour of course, that was certainly influential on the later much cruder Monty Python.

* The Craftsman (D Guyler)/ Holding Up the Queen Mary (cartoon)/ Pretenders to the Throne: King Bert (Clive Dunn)/ Doomsbury Lifeboat/ Dr Albert (DG) and his Instant Breakfast/ The Haunted Castle (model)/ The Art Expert (Dick Emery)/ Olympic Training at Lord Noshing's (MB)
* Dr Albert Dottle (D Guyler) and his tea driven car/ Slobodian Oil Treaty (MB + Clive Dunn)/ The Antique Fakers/ The Brain (DG): crooks/ Kamakaze Beetle (model)/ HMS Incredible/ The Admiral (CD)
* On Westminster Bridge, saluting the flag/ The Ornithologist (Leon Thau)/ United Nations Reporter (Ronnie Barker)/ Cartoon of Benny Lee as he sings/ MB on the Common Market/ French in Schools/ Maggie Fitzgibbon sings/ The Brigadier General (RB)- the zaniest moment is defusing a ticking cello
* Last of series: Viewers' questions/ Headlines/ Assassination of the King of Slobodia/ The Gunsmith (Frank Thornton)/ Aerosols/ A Country House/ Russian Lecture/ Alderman Grimshaw (FT) and the Holiday Trippers' Invasion

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Dickie Henderson Show
To
Dickie Henderson Show Research page
"It really is a happy show," claimed co-star June Laverick. "I expect there are many many husbands and wives who can see the funny side of our domestic arguments. I think this is why the show has been so successful."

7.1 (April 29th 1964) - "A punch on the nose never solved anything," Dickie tells us. But he nearly comes to blows with William Franklyn who has a great part as Greg, ski champion, chess champion, pianist extraordinnaire, lion hunter, in fact champion everything. He has an answer to everything Dickie throws at him: "it must be very stimulating married to a comedian," he observes to June. Dickie and Jack try to "shatter the image" of Greg. Failure until Dickie tries to fake an accident. That fails too leaving Greg free to take June out for a meal. OK, Dickie finally admits he's jealous. But there's a nice punchline as the superman is finally found out.

8.6 (September 13th 1965) - That master of the one-liner Dickie reminds us that "women are like politicians- we don't always agree with them, but we can't live without them." With such sentiments it's no surprise that June is in tears - she's found a 14 year old love letter from Dickie. "Well I can't go round spouting that juvenile mush now," he claims. But to prove he's still sentimental at heart, he gets Jack (Lionel Murton) to help him buy some pearls for June. To repay Jack, Dickie helps him by composing a love letter to Jack's girl friend (Norma Foster), based on his old stuff to June ("the whole world was filled with warmth and light") and sending 3 dozen red roses. June discovers Dickie has sent her flowers and finds out he's gone to see her and so thinks Dickie must be chasing after this girl. In a nice scene, she confides her worries to Jack who dreaming of his girl tells June the girl is "the most beautiful doll I've ever seen," which makes June even more upset. She overhears Dickie in conversation with her saying "beautiful, you've got just what I've been looking for! Shall I take this off now?" Of course the misunderstanding is sorted out and June gets her cultured pearls.
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Arthur Haynes Show
(from series 4 maybe, 1959) with Aileen Cochrane and Harry Jacobson (piano). Nicholas Parsons plays a "hit and run motorist" and a vacuum salesman, Arthur then plays a camp tailor.
(from series 6- screened 1960) with Aileen Cochrane singing round the theatre. As well as a short sketch of Arthur's married life ("if he's not home by 8 I'm leaving him"), there's 'Candlelight' a tv expose of dodgy garages - and with Arthur as the mechanic, there's plenty to expose. A more substantial offering is the typical conflict between a snooty Nicholas Parsons who is complaining to Arthur about all his shoddy workmanship redecorating his home. Arthur's absurd excuses get NP in more and more of a lather.
11.1 (possibly- December 1962) In the opening show in a new series, a fascinating intro as Arthur congratulates the thin audience for turning out on such a foggy night. He has one scene with Nicholas Parsons as a solicitor who is looking into Arthur's alleged noble connections. Then he plays a burglar teaching new boy, Michael Caine, how to do it. Guest: Yana
11.3 (possibly) December 22nd 1962 A Christmas Special with Wendy Richard. Also in a sketch with Kenneth Griffith, Arthur plays a tramp feeding off the dustbins outside the Ritz.
12.2 (January 11th 1964) with the Dave Clark Five - a classic show with AH at the peak of his powers. In the first sketch, NP is a doctor in a first class carriage, being pestered by AH. Then the two tramps report to the police (NP) the theft of fourpence ("fourpence!"). NP picks up Arthur's mispronounciation of "Mission Hut" like a real pro.
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The Army Game
Series with Harry Fowler, Frank Williams, Alfie Bass and Bill Fraser
(+ Geoffrey Palmer appears also)

BOOTSIE THE BUGLER - Bootsie is given the job of sounding reveille at 6am. By 9.30 all is still quiet....
QUESTION IN THE HOUSE -Over-the-top story of an MP (Donald Morley) who investigates cruelty that Hut 29 have written to him about. But, as that "fiend in human shape" Sgt.Snudge demonstrates, they make him look "a proper nana". Perhaps that's one thing an MP is capable of.
YOUR TRUE LIFE STORY - In this take-off of This is Your Life, Paul Carpenter plays the host, telling Snudge's life story. His old headmaster calls him "the cleverest boy I ever taught," until he realises he's talking about Snudge, who he concludes, was "unteachable"! A policeman calls him a "lazy layabout". No wonder Snudge describes telly as "invented to fill the minds of vacant idiots."
BACK FROM LEAVE -Set on a train, Snudge joins the same express as the boys, who're returning to camp without having got passes. Eric Barker as the ticket inspector chases the miscreants up and down the corridors.
NEW METHODS + - Snudge returns from a psychology course with new disciplinary ideas. Nice parody of 60's culture as he's no longer, says Bootsie, "all lovely and orrible." As a result Bootsie ends up in Snudge's home as his "son". This becomes almost a foretaste of their later series. Arthur Mullard is a guest at Flogger's Bilko-type party.
Series with Geoffrey Sumner, William Hartnell, Harry Fowler, Dick Emery.
RETURN OF THE PIG - Opening story about Cynthia, the major's pet pig.
OPERATION CYNTHIA - The major gets a shock when war memoirs describe him as apathetic. He resolves to give up whisky and even Cynthia. "Alas, poor Cynthia, I knew her well," and other Shakespearian lines follow. Ballard Berkeley appears as Col Savage.
PROMOTION FOR HUT 29 - Nice story of a directive sent asking for officer material. Somehow the lads get nominated and end up court martialling the poor old sergeant (William Hartnell).
THE KINDEST MAN IN BRITAIN + - A masterpiece as Hut 29 unwittingly nominates the sarge. He has to change character just a little! Sergeant: " I'm cold and horrible." Major: "You are the kindest man in Britain, that's an order!"
MISSING WATCH + - Weak script about the sarge's watch that goes AWOL
MISSING BATON - A visiting field marshall's baton goes AWOL
CULTURE IN HUT 29 - The Education Officer (Brian Oulton) arranges an Art Class which Hut 29 try to join for their own devious ends. To make it look genuine, Catchpole has to try and paint the sergeant.....
NO MORE JANKERS - The visit of a newspaper investigating unhappiness in army camps, means all charges are suspended.
THE LEAGUE OF LIGHT+ - Hut 29 is in the dock for gambling. Cpt Pocket pleads with the magistrate: "they come from a broken hut." Brother Catchpole sees the light after hearing the testimony of Geoffrey Hibbert. The others decide that "if you can't beat em, join em." Except the suspicious Sgt Bullimore.

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Bootsie and Snudge
Alfie Bass and Bill Fraser starred. Clive Dunn played his archetypal old man, Johnson, whilst the Hon Sec ("Tup Tup") was my favourite character! A pompous review of the first story (transmitted 23rd September 1960) claimed the scriptwriters "base all their visual - and most of their oral - gags on various forms of disability. No doubt this will have those who liked The Army Game falling over themselves with laughter. For myself I can only abhor the state of television comedy when it cannot rise above childish jokes and inane innuendoes.... there is very little to be said about Alfie Bass and Bill Fraser - they are obviously good businessmen otherwise they wouldn't agree to appear in a programme that lowers the standard of television comedy as much as this does." Anyway, what do critics know? This first programme came second in the national TAM ratings!

Question- Apart from the stars, not many very well known names appeared in the series. But who was the special guest selling Peony Day flags?
Answer
THE PIANIST - Bootsie admires a bust of famous pianist "Lipst" (Liszt). "Put a 10 gallon hat on 'im," adds Snudge satirically, "and 'e looks like Maverick!" This is a touching character study by Barry Took and Marty Feldman of a retired concert pianist (Warren Mitchell) called Anton Borovik ("and His Harmonica Rascals?"! queries Snudge). Anton is trying to practise for a comeback, but whilst Bisley plays Chopsticks for him, it looks as though "he don't want to play no more." Some nice sequences as Old Johnson sings at the piano, then Mr Montague Bisley dreams of his own concert prowess as he plays "Nocturne in Opus 2 by Lipst in Flat B." Then Snudge, who believes "in hiding my light on in a burning bush" shows Bootsie the way with his hearty rendition of "Ain't She Sweet." After this interlude, since Bisley has some strange "rappaport" with Anton, he tries to give him confidence to play at the grand concert....One of the classics of the series
THE MATCH - The club needs "livening up" so cricketer Rev Pennyfather (Barry Took) brings his club, actually a youth club for a tournament of billiards, ping-pong, darts, boxing and even dancing
BLACK THURSDAY - It's Bootsie's day to clean the front steps. Interesting opportunity for several ageing actors to talk to him - can anyone identify them?
LOST LORD - Normally it's Snudge who takes Lord Hathaway to the park "the high spot of his day." But even though "he don't know the 'ighway code" Bootsie is ordered to take him today. There he finds romance but loses his Lordship in Soho. Inconsequential story
THE HAIRDRESSERS - Big Harry (Arthur Mullard) slips Bootsie £1 to "stick up your nose". When the horse wins Bootsie has to have a close shave
PEONY DAY - June 2nd is a flag day and the guest star encourages generous giving
POT BLACK- Bootsie needles Snudge into a snooker game- Tup Tup joins Snudge whilst Old Johnson 'helps' Bisley. A lot of "jiggery-pokery" in this dull interlude
RAILWAY JOURNEY - Off on a staff treat on the Romney Marshes there's topical conversation en route on the inefficiency of the railways and speculation such as did Yuri Gagarin have a corridor on his rocket?! A "nightmare" journey in the cold ends at Appledore in the sidings- "we've been shunted!" Out into the blizzard and a walk through the snow to their deserted destination, a fascinating set of railway tracks at a cardboard station
BATH NIGHT - Friday Night is time for Snudge's weekly bath, but tonight "pop" goes the geyser. So he has to use the hip bath with Bootsie and Johnson in attendance. So how come he is still bathing in it after dark, outside the club's front door?
BACK PAY - "Is there something in the wind?" Bisley reads regulations governing Old Johnson's wages, which is strange as for all these years he's not been paid anything in cash: "justice will be done." Having engaged a solicitor (Keith Pyott) the Hon Sec explains that it is Snudge who is actually responsible for Johnson's pay. He'll have to have £5 a month deducted from his pay, but as Bootsie owes the solictor's fee of 20gns and Johnson has to pay all his back tax, no-one's happy: "this is a terrible injustice!"
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Glencannon (1957)
39 films starring Thomas Mitchell about old seafaring Glencannon, Chief Engineer of a freighter which has adventures in every port around the world. But most of the filming was done at Elstree. Patrick Allen was co-star, whilst other regulars in most of the stories were Barry Keegan, Charles Carson, and Georgie Wood as Svenson the ship's cook. Several others had occasional roles, including John Gabriel and Lally Bowers.

"When I have seen them, my life will be complete," promised the widowed mother of the original creator of Glencannon, Guy Gilpatrick. What did she utter after seeing them, I wonder. For the reception the series got was generally unimpressive. "Imagine my horror," wrote Guy Taylor. "I suppose one must admire the producers for attempting a series with humour - but the result is like a soggy cake which simply refuses to rise. It lacks inventiveness, production idea and the script is appalling." This critic had seen the first story screened on A-R London, which was 30 "Love Story." Anyway, with a verdict like that, it was back to the drawing board for
Gross-Kassne Ltd.
However, today this is something of a curiosity, for it was a rare attempt to put a tv comedy series on to film. If nothing else, it included some fine performances from guests such as: Richard Pearson in Double Double Deal and Trouble, Jon Pertwee in the title role of Champagne Charlie, Jack Train in Man with a Mermaid, John Laurie as the late Mr MacCrummon in The Loving Cup, Alfie Bass in The Ancient Mariner, Sydney Tafler as The Masked Monster, Irene Handl in Three Lovesick Swains of Gibraltar, Warren Mitchell in The Yogi of West Ninth Street, Rupert Davies as a Russian in The Ailing Turtle, Arthur Lowe as The Mean Man of Genoa and Reginald Beckwith in The Wailing Lady of Limehouse.

14 The Masked Monster - Newspaper headlines read "Masked Monster - Another Victim". Glencannon's nephew Duncan (Percy Herbert) has taken up wresting as the above named character, and he's so good he's bound to win. So Glencannon bets on him, so of course he loses, but even worse injuring poor Glencannon. He is suffering so much that he threatens to sue Daninos, the owner of the ring (Sydney Tafler). This is another scheme doomed to failure, but Daninos persuades him to do some smuggling for him. Glencannon however has other plans: "Everyone gets what he deserves in the end," he pronounces philosphically.
17 The Rolling Stone - On his birthday in Tangier, Glencannon is depressed because he's nearly broke and his 108 year old Uncle Jock (Tony Simpson) shows no signs of dying. "If he doesn't die soon, there'll be nothing left to inherit." At least, his two cousins, Duncan (Percy Herbert) and Douglas (Rufus Cruickshank) are tricked into signing over their share of any fortune. Thus "he feels wonderful" on board ship as he looks forward to seeing Uncle Jock again. "A bolt from the blue," a village tells Glencannon when he gets near home. He assumes it's death at last and buys a tombstone for the old boy. But the prices of the dealer (Peter Maddern) at the Milngavie Junkyard moderate his transports, and he purchases for ten bob a rusty anchor. How about this epitaph?- "Here rots the bones of Jock Glencannon, Whom grim death from us took..." However it turns out Jock only nearly died, and he believes a bird has saved his life. So he's altering his will in favour of the Rehabilitation and Retirement Centre for Stray Birds! But Glencannon is not going to be "cut out of my inheritance for a suicidal bird," and he puts a macaw into Jock's home which promptly chews Jock's pound notes. "I'll no be changin' me will," cries an angry Jock. But "it's love at first sight" for him, in the storyline we'd always anticipated. He's to wed an even older lady who claims to have the secret of everlasting life
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World of Wooster -
The BBC's triumphant success in bringing the PG Wodehouse stories to life,
starring Ian Carmichael as Bertie and Dennis Price as Jeeves.
It would be unfair to compare the series with the later more lavishly made
LWT masterpiece with Fry and Laurie, but this Michael Mills production has its own period style and moves at a lively pace. Carmichael was much better than I had remembered as the rather stuttering Bertie Wooster, whilst Dennis Price surely had the finest role of his career.

The Delayed Exit of Claude and Eustace -
Bertie's cousins Claude (Timothy Carlton) and Eustace (Simon Ward) have to "pinch things to get elected" and so it comes about that Bertie is given the caps and a topper they have snaffled.
An unfortunate time for teetotal and general all round kill-joy to call, Sir Humphrey ("janitor in some sort of loonybin"). He's rather irritable today, as someone had snatched his hat, and even more annoyed when he spots said article on Bertie's hatstand. Bertie had wanted to keep in his good books as he's after the fair Marian, Sir H's daughter.
Aunt Agatha (the wonderful Fabia Drake) is proposing to ship the errant Claude and Eustace off to SA and requests, or rather orders, Bertie to look after them until their ship departs.
2am and the three are out on the town! Claude finds his "soulmate" whilst Eustace also meets his "affinity", and both are named Marian! With love in the air they simply cannot emigrate, and adopt disguises to avoid detection. Marian becomes "worn to a shadow" with their attentions- it's more than time for Jeeves to don his thinking cap!
Next day Bertie awakes to a "pip pip" from Claude. He's straight off to SA. "Cheerie-bye," adds Eustace- they're both chasing after Marian, who they understand is going to SA. Or at least that's the impression Jeeves had given them. Effusive thanks from Bertie.

Indian Summer of an Uncle (surviving fragment) - Mrs Wilberforce (Beryl Reid) is a guest at Bertie's dinner. "Hello you old crook," she breezily greets Jeeves. Bertie's other companion is Lord 'Piggy' Yaxley, who turns out to be an old friend of the good lady. "Like deep calling to deep," they happily exchange details of their ailments just like "a sick parade"

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Mr Digby Darling
An early black/white series from the new Yorkshire TV that saw Rag Trade combatants Peter Jones and Sheila Hancock reunited.
This series however saw them as happily married-to-the-job boss (Roland Digby) and jill of all trades, secretary (Thelma Teesdale). Well at least, he's wedded to a lazy office life in slippers, whilst she sees to his every need, unfulfilled. The whole thing's really made by the ever reliable Peter Jones' whimsical touches.

We have
* Drunk and Disorderly - Roland's wife has been away so last night he let his hair down. Now he's got to appear in court. "Rid-o-Rats's Bonnie and Clyde" have to invent yet another excuse for the afternoon off. Then it turns out boss Mr Trumper is on the jury. All of which gives Peter Jones the chance to offer a snatch of Sidney Carton's Farewell Speech
* The New Secretary - It's time for Thelma to be "upgraded" to the Sixth Floor at Executive Level. Parting of the ways is a wrench until Digby is introduced to Thelma's replacement, the shapely Betty (Wanda Ventham)
* The Efficiency Expert - "Another Monday morning, thank goodness!" declares Digby as he arrives for work. Thelma is celebrating "ten happy years together," but it won't be for much longer if Chambers the new Efficiency Expert has his say- "before you know it, cccckkkk, you're redundant." But if Digby believes he's "got nothing to fear," he's a born optimist!
* The Facts of Life - In the hands of Digby, the Slugdown publicity is "tear jerking nonsense about slugs being the gardeners' best friend." But poor Digby is confused as he is supposed to be teaching son Dominic the facts of life. After Thelma helps him by inquiring about the book "Childbirth Can Be Fun," in a splendid scene Mr Trumper somehow thinks Digby is to be a father again: "just because there's snow on the roof, that doesn't mean the boiler's gone out!"
* The Evacuee - "Mr Digby is a living saint," declares Thelma. But not when a colleague is being billeted in his office. "It will be a bit of a squeeze," admits Mr Trumper. Gladys 'Ma' Lightfoot (Marjorie Rhodes) is an old acquaintance: "time's done the dirty on you," she tells Digby. There's only one solution- move her, but where to? How about "the old folks' cleaning room" in the basement? But it's Digby and Thelma who eventually have to find new accommodation as they end up working in the cloakrooms
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George and the Dragon
Sid James met his match in Peggy Mount in ATV's series which ran from 1966.
Perhaps Keith Marsh as Ralph the gardener enjoyed his finest moment, whilst John le Mesurier vainly battled to keep the peace between George... and the Dragon

Series One

Series Two

Series Three

Series Four

Funniest moment in the series: 2.7 when George ends up with his date- The Dragon.
Dud episode: several, I'm afraid, perhaps 1.4 Night Night Sleep Tight is the corniest.

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George and the Dragon - Series One

Series 1: 1 George Meets the Dragon- The arrival of Miss Gabrielle Dragon, enough to terrify any mere man, chauffeur (Sid James) included
2 The Not So Tender Trap- Whoops! After a night of boozing George ('Kingsley') has proposed to Miss Dragon, and what's worse, she's accepted!
3 The Unexpected Sport - With the colonel's leg in plaster, George is volunteered to play polo at Windsor for the Waterlilies. Naturally he places a bet on the opposition
4 Night, Night, Sleep Tight - Inconsequential effort about George and the Dragon alone at night, with the Colonel and Ralph away. Bumps in the night etc etc
5 Royal Letter - When Gabrielle sends an Xmas card to the Duke of Edinburgh, it's nice to get his reply, except it's a forgery typed by George and signed by Ralph....
6 A Merry Christmas? - After present giving, the four disperse to friends for Christmas. But George's intimate season with Irma (Yootha Joyce) is a frost, so he returns to the colonel's to find everyone else there too. The end is stolen by three young carol singers

To Series Two
George and the Dragon Menu

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George and the Dragon - Series Two

Series 2: 1 - This could be described as a tragedy when George breaks Gabrielle's treasured heirlooms, her mum's old records. She decides to say farewell, but at the bus station cafe, first George then Ralph and finally The Colonel each persuade her to return- to the amazement of a lorry driver (John Junkin) who's trying to chat her up himself
2- It's Sunday morning with George and Gabrielle discussing religion, in a way that just wouldn't be done these days. There's £1 on it that the 'Black Sheep' won't be dragged by the Dragon back to the fold of the church
3- Has Gabrielle a French man in her room? Not quite- she's trying to learn French since she's won a trip for two to Paris. George accompanies her on a panic ridden flight
4- Gabrielle requests George shows her "how to do it." When George realises she actually wants him to teach her how to drive the Colonel's Bentley, he has to agree when the colonel orders him to do so. When she bumps into the car of the Chief Constable, George gets his own back by convincing her she'll be sent to prison
5- Sonia Dresdel displays a fine comic touch as Priscilla, an old friend of the Colonel's. A battle of wills between her and Gabrielle is the highlight of this, the best of the series. "Dartmoor is a holiday camp" compared with her new regime
6- Men have greater willpower than women, argues George. To prove he's quite wrong Gabrielle proposes they both do without food. After two days both are wavering. This is familiar stuff, but in the hands of experts, it's quite palatable
7 - George is Aries, Gabrielle Virgo, as they check their horoscopes. Why not seek their destiny through the Confidential Friendship Bureau? It's run by gushing Brian Oulton, in a superb little cameo. George asks him- "what have you got in stock?" You can easily guess that George is going to finish up with Gabrielle as his date, but there again, it's awfully well done

To Series Three

George and the Dragon Menu

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George and the Dragon - Series 3:

1- "England Expected, and I did," explains Gabrielle. It's Dinky Dragon's army reunion, and she tricks George into thinking that one of her mates (Julia McCarthy) was the victim of Rumpo Russell's wartime romances
2 - After a picnic, George and the Dragon have to spend the night sharing a room. They end up in the dock, and look who's on the bench- the Colonel!
3 - Harpers Department Store (A bit of ATV nostalgia there!) is offering a £10 tv in its sale, "first come, first served." George is first in the queue the night before, but will that stop the Dragon?
4 - Lots are drawn by George and the Dragon to see who wins the continental holiday. The bigger cheat wins. After which George hides in Miss Dragon's bedroom to discover her secret hidden in there. It turns out to be her own giant bikini!
5 - Missing here is the setting of the Colonel's house, and also much fun, as George and the Dragon attempt to travel by train to London. They have a topical rant against British Railways: "Beeching must go!" when their train to Waterloo is axed- but as they're filmed at Welwyn North they should have been making for King's Cross! Peter Howell gets the butt of their complaints and Tom Baker has a brief filmed role as a humble porter
6 - Tracing her family tree, the Dragon decides she's related to a French duke who went under the guillotine in 1783. George plays along with her, 'discovering' his portrait, which is really a copy of The Laughing Cavalier with a few crude additions
7 - Pay Day Parade, but George gets nothing, in fact he still owes the colonel seven and six! He decides to raise some cash by buying, with the Dragon's £20, an old banger and then se